Not Like This

A/N: Well... got the idea reading the book, of course. New Moon spoilers! You have been warned. I don't own anything... but I do wish I owned Edward... sigh R&R!

…And I flung myself off the cliff.

I was proud of myself as I plunged deeper into the freezing black water. I hadn't had one moment of terror—just pure adrenaline. Really, the fall wasn't scary at all. Where was the challenge?

That was when the current caught me.

"Oh no, no, no," I moaned, buffeted around by the strong currents and angry sea. The waves tossed me around indiscriminately as I tried to keep my head above water, gasping for air and getting mouthfuls of salt water instead. Panic swelled inside me like a huge, black bubble—I never meant to die! I only meant to get an adrenaline rush out of this!

Desperately, I flailed arms and legs in every direction, wishing I'd jumped when the sun was out so that I could at least tell where the shore was, and how far out the currents had taken me. My arms and legs tired out quickly, and I started to wonder if I'd wash ashore if I just floated along and quit struggling.

"Keep swimming!" My eyes closed reverently, savoring Edward's hallucinated voice. "Move! Bella, move! Swim!"

The water was so cold, and the rain so thick, that swimming was the last thing on my mind. Dazed, I forced myself to go through the motions as the clichéd rerun of my life started—only, all I saw was Edward. His perfect face, his chiseled features and strong, comforting arms, his skin sparkling like a million perfect diamonds in a shaft of bright sunlight… all in perfect clarity as the relentless currents threatened to dash my brains out on the rocks surrounding the cliffs. I managed to keep my head clear, although I cut my hands a few times in my efforts. Why, why, why did I think this was a good idea again?

A flash of fiery orange came into view as Edward ordered me to keep fighting, a strange urgency in his voice. "Fight, Bella; damn it! Keep swimming!"

The orange spot came closer and as my head broke the surface of the water and I took a huge breath of air my heart, which had been thumping wildly, stuttered.

A malicious pale face smirked at me with burning black eyes, rimmed in red.

Victoria had come back for me.

"BELLA! NO!" The torturous voice in my head screamed at the same time I did, the same time Victoria threw back her head and let out a triumphant howl. Her eyes darkened even further as I threw my hands up in self-defense and she saw the ragged wounds still bleeding sluggishly.

With an otherworldly screech, Victoria closed the distance between us and grabbed my outstretched wrist with inhuman strength, snapping it as her fingers tightened their icy grip. I screamed, my eyes wide, as she bared her teeth and savagely chomped on my arm, yanking me closer to her. Her hair was plastered to her ashen face, but it only made her look even more beautiful—and even deadlier.

Hot tears spilled down my cheeks as she bit again, her eyes boring into mine as she reveled in my pain. Something solid and furry brushed past my legs in the water, and suddenly Victoria screeched again and let go of me. My vision was clouded with black spots as Edward's voice faded in and out, like it was coming from a static-filled radio.

Two strong, impossibly warm arms circled around me, dragging me backwards. I tried to keep my eyes open, but they only barely listened. I heard horrible shrieks and snarls, terrible ripping noises, and occasionally a yelp of pain.

Roughly, I landed on solid shore and something thumped against my chest. Torrents of icy seawater spewed out of my mouth and I coughed and choked around it, my lungs burning as they became clear.

That was when the pain started.

I started to shake, before my ravaged throat finally opened up and I screamed. "Fire! Fire, on my arm! Put it out, put it out!"

"What's wrong with her?"

"She's screaming about fire—you don't think the leech bit her, do you?"

"Check it—check her arm! What is that?"

"Holy—those are teeth marks; she's been bitten!"

I sensed a flurry of movement around me as my nerves blazed and burned. There was only one other time I'd felt this pain—my eyes flew open in shock, chasing away the edges of unconsciousness. I recognized Jacob's and Quil's faces, and I reached out desperately with the uninjured arm, grabbing a handful of Jake's shorts.

"Suck it out! The venom! Get it out!" I begged, tugging on his thankfully-secured shorts. He smoothed my hair away from my face, his face a frozen mask of pain.

"We can't, Bella. I'm so sorry… werewolf saliva will only make the venom thinner, and it'll spread faster. I can try, but I doubt it'll do anything," he whispered, his voice breaking.

My back arched spontaneously from the pain, and I could feel weight on my legs and other arm, keeping them from thrashing around and hurting the broken wrist any more. I took my free arm and clawed at my bitten one, feeling the fire-like sensation spread. Yes, I wanted to be a vampire, but not like this! Never like this! Edward was supposed to be the one to turn me! Another agonized cry ripped free from my throat as the venom traveled up to my shoulder.

"Shit! I can't just sit here!" Something uncomfortably warm with teeth too similar to Victoria's latched onto on of her bites and I screamed again as the storm's wind howled along with me. As I struggled against the werewolves holding me down, I saw Jacob trying to suck out the venom with a disgusted look on his face.

"It's okay, Bella; you're safe with us," Quil said soothingly, brushing my damp hair away from my face. I could feel my eyes getting gummy from the copious tears streaming down my face, and Quil tenderly wiped them with a corner of what used to be someone's shirt. "It's alright, we'll take care of you… Don't be frightened; we have to burn Victoria so she won't regenerate."

A sudden flash of heat startled me, choking off my next cry. That must be the fire, I thought to myself. With a sense of dread, I realized I could see things in better clarity than ever before, even though Jake was still trying to suck the venom out. The fire had subsided, but I could only guess that since he wasn't able to get it all out, there was still enough to force me to change. My skin, even my hair felt as though it was on fire, and I had long given up screaming, since my throat was so dry and abused I just physically couldn't do it anymore.

"I can still taste it… We need a leech. Sam, we need to find a bloodsucker to get the rest of this out. I can't do it; the taste isn't as strong but she's not feeling any better," I heard Jake say. I cracked an eye open and saw him look at me, frightened, and look at Sam Uley, the alpha of the werewolf pack.

I kept struggling against the guys holding me down as the venom snaked through my veins. I hoped Alice had seen this… was anyone on their way? Or would I have to change?

Exhausted, I fell asleep as the men wondered what to do with me.