Points of View

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters, nor have I ever claimed too. Whoever told you I did lied.

Author's note: This fiction is basically the inner workings of the mind. Each chapter will be an internal monologue of one character on one subject. The inner turmoil will usually be canon-based and true to the character's personality in the book. If anyone wants me to back up my opinion, tell me in a review and I'll put it at the top of the next chapter. Also, if you want to know what I think a certain character thinks about a certain topic (i.e. Draco's opinion on the necessity of education) I will surely do my best to write a chapter pertaining to it. Or you can ask me a philosophy question (i.e. what is the meaning of Life?) and I'll pick a character to work through it. If the question is particularly interesting, I may work through it from several characters' POV. Thank you for reading my unnecessarily long author's note.

Chapter 1: Friends?

Another boy told me that he liked me but he'd rather be "just friends," so I've been thinking about it, and I don't understand. What is the difference between being a girlfriend and just a friend?

Sure there are the obvious things, like kissing and hugging and saying I love you, but I do all those with my "just friends." In fact, of the three guys I've kissed on the mouth and the countless more I've kissed on the cheek or elsewhere, the vast majority have been "just friends."

Take Harry for example. If you ask me about my relationship with Harry, I'll say we're just friends and that's all we've ever been. Ask me if I've kissed him, and I'll answer in the affirmative. Of course I have, and I've kissed Ron too. Was Harry a great kisser? No. Would I kiss him again? Probably. Do I have any feelings for him past friendship? Not really. And I doubt he feels very differently on the subject.

I've only kissed one guy on the mouth that I was actually dating, and I never told him I loved him, even though I did. It's weird, but I felt like I could say it because we were dating, even though I say it to all my friends, both guys and girls, almost every time I see them. In this regard, at least for me, being a boyfriend is almost less than being just a friend, because you can't be completely honest about your feelings in that context.

Then there are pet names. I don't know about anyone else, but I call just about everyone I know sweetie, honey, or love. I use these terms of endearment daily with my just friends, but it feels awkward and unnatural to use them with a significant other. Forced, almost.

Some people have told me that the difference is that if you're sad he kisses you and holds you to make you feel better, or boyfriends are the guys you can trust to make you happy and not hurt you, or even just respect you more, but I don't think that's true. I can't count the number of times I've been hurt by a boyfriend who didn't even realize what he did, but all Ron, Harry, or even Neville had to do was look at me and they knew something was wrong. I'll cry in their arms, but I've never had a boyfriend who was willing to let me cry in his arms, or even in the same room. That goes back to the respect issue, and trust.

A lot of girl's define a boyfriend as a friend, but more. Someone who will do anything for you, who trusts you to the end and you trust him, but isn't that a little extreme? Asking someone to be your steady doesn't automatically build a relationship. According to those girls, if Draco Malfoy asked me out tomorrow and I accepted, I should trust him more than I trust Harry, but how could I when I've known Harry so much better for so long?

I can hug my friends, and I do every time I see them at least once. I also say I love them at least every time I see them. Not always like that, but after making a joke about Ron, if he looks upset about it, I feel completely comfortable saying to him, "It's alright, I still love you." And if anyone picks on me, I forgive and forget almost immediately if it's followed with a "Come on, you know I love you." But saying those things and having them said to you, even by someone you're dating, is really tasteless and even mildly creepy if you haven't known the person very long. And in my circles it's almost required to say I love you on the first date, if not sooner.

I'm in quite an odd situation here, I think. By most definitions, I'm dating all my guy friends and a fair few of the girls too, but I'm not moving anywhere in any of the relationships because they're all termed "just friends" by all involved. I'd like to get married someday, but I don't see a romantic relationship as any different than the relationships I already have, and I don't really want anything more. I'm at a complete loss.