A/N: Hey everyone! I just had this sudden urge and humoress burst within me to write… A CRACKFIC! Haha it's SASUSAKU of course! What kind of person do you think I would be if I paired poor Sasuke and Sakura up with people who DO NOT belong with THEM! Yeah that's right I'm watching all you SakuNeji, and SasuHina people! And all you other ones!
Che. We shall see who wins this war… hehehe anyway!
This is a SASUSAKU ONESHOT CRACKFIC! Haha it's highly humorous and is based on the art of SARCASM and RANDOMNESS! Ahah…
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Masashi Kishimoto owns Naruto. But if I did that would be seriously awesome! Haha.
...
Monkey See, Monkey Do.
By
-Ashuurii
(The following ONESHOT SASUSAKU CRACKFIC, takes place 2-3 years after Sasuke Uchiha defeated Orochimaru and Itachi Uchiha.)
o.O
Uchiha Sasuke. Yeah, you guys know him. The very embodiment of tall-dark-and handsome. The very advertisement of sex appeal and godliness. The very meaning of heartthrob. The flawless, 6'1", raven-haired, onyx-eyed, pale-skinned, ex-s class missing nin, ex-avenger, last remaining of the deceased Uchiha clan, the one, the only, UCHIHA SASUKE!
Yep, that's him. Mr. Tall-dark-and-handsome himself was walking, through the park on a grand spring day.
The air was light, and smelled of water and flowers.
The flowers bloomed. Everything was perfectly serene.
Even the pink-haired kunoichi dancing around singing on a park bench while her friend's giggled and watched.
SCREEEEEECH!
Turn slowly…
GAPE!
That's right. Mr. Hotness has just spotted Haruno Sakura standing on a park-bench sporting her leaf hitai-atai, spandex black shorts underneath a beige ninja skirt with slits on the sides and pockets with buckles holding the slits, a red sleeveless shirt with a zig-zaggy patterened zipper, arm guards, and her knee-length shinobi sandals.
All there. The whole cream-skinned, pink-haired, emerald-eyed, cherry-lipped, 5'4" package.
A smirk danced onto his face as he leaned against a nearby telephone pole and watched the "show".
Sasuke wasn't the only man watching unfortunately.
Other eligible men gathered to watch and park people gathered too. Children watched and joined in with her singing.
Naruto, Kakashi, Neji, and even Shikamaru stopped to watch.
Yet, she seemed unfazed as she continued her singing.
"The Best Damn Thing", By Avril Lavigne.
Let me here yah say HEY HEY HEY!
(HEY HEY HEY!)-(Everyone)
Alright, Now let me here yah say HEY HEY HO!
(HEY HEY HO!)-(Everyone)
I hate it when a guy
Doesn't get the door
Even though I told him yesterday
And the day before
I had it when a guy
Doesn't get the tab
And I have to put my money out
And that looks bad
Yeah...
Where are the hopes
Where are the dreams
My Cinderella story scene
When do you think they'll finally see!?
That'cha NOT NOT NOT gonna get any better!
You WON'T WON'T WON'T, you won't get rid of me never!
Like it or not
Even though she's a lot like me
We're not the same…
And YEAH YEAH YEAH!
I'm a lot to handle
You don't know trouble
I'm a hell of a scandal
Me
I'm a scene
I'm a drama-queen
I'm the best damn thing that your eyes have ever seen!
Alright, Alright...
Yeah!
I hate it when a guy
Doesn't understand
Why a certain time of month
I don't wanna hold his hand!
I hate it when they go out
And we stay in
And they come home smelling like their ex-girlfriend!
I've found my hopes
I've found my dreams
My Cinderella story scene
Now everybody's gonna see! ...
That'cha NOT NOT NOT gonna get any better!
You WON'T WON'T WON'T, you won't get rid of me never!
Like it or not
Even though she's a lot like me
We're not the same…
And YEAH YEAH YEAH!
I'm a lot to handle
You don't know trouble
I'm a hell of a scandal
Me
I'm a scene
I'm a drama-queen
I'm the best damn thing that your eyes have ever seen!
Give me an 'A'! (Ino)
Always give me what I want
Give me a 'V'! (TenTen)
Be very, very good to me
'R'! (Hinata)
Are you gonna treat me right?
'I'! (Ino)
I can put up a fight!
Give me an 'L'! (TenTen, Hinata, and Ino.)
Let me hear you scream loud!
(Let me hear you scream loud!)-(Ino, TenTen, and Hinata)
ONE
TWO
THREE
FOUR!
Where are the hopes
Where are the dreams
My Cinderella story scene
When do you think they'll finally see!?
That'cha NOT NOT NOT gonna get any better!
You WON'T WON'T WON'T, you won't get rid of me never!
Like it or not
Even though she's a lot like me
We're not the same…
And YEAH YEAH YEAH!
I'm a lot to handle
You don't know trouble
I'm a hell of a scandal
Me
I'm a scene
I'm a drama-queen
I'm the best damn thing that your eyes have ever seen!
Let me here you say HEY HEY HEY!
(HEY HEY HEY!)-(Everyone)
Alright!
Now let me here you say HEY HEY HO!
(HEY HEY HO!
HEY HEY HEY!
HEY HEY HEY!
HEY HEY HEY!)-(Everyone)
I'm the best damn thing that your eyes have ever seen!
End Song.
The park had never been so crowded, and try as he might Sasuke could not remove the utterly amused smirk that was etched on his face. He knew exactly who that was for, and by the smirk on Sakura's face when she looked over and saw him, he knew right away.
The girls all collapsed into a fit of laughter on their picnic blanket as the crowd dispersed after a relatively long applaud.
Still Sasuke stood there utterly amused. Arms-crossed, smirk in place, obsidian orbs dancing with emotion.
The wind ruffled his hair and he witnessed Sakura's departure from her friend's as she threw her bag over her shoulder, and with an air of finesse and superiority about her, strolled off to her apartment.
o.O
Sasuke made no intention of following Sakura home. His feet just sort of had a mind of their own. But he still had a few questions to ask his ex-fangirl. She was spunky, open, and carefree in that song and for some strange and foreign reason to him, a feeling in his chest just wanted to make him laugh whole-heartedly.
But come on folks! Sasuke Uchiha? Laughing? Let's be realistic. He may have begun showing feelings and emotions again, but let's not get ahead of ourselves. To get him to crack it would be difficult and Sakura knew just how.
Yes that's right, our spunky, firey, carefree little flower blows with the breeze and knows just how to crawl under his skin, get on his last nerve, until he explodes and does the most impulsive of things.
Sakura knew he was there. Waiting outside her bedroom door in the hallway. She was showering in her bedroom-bathroom and had a hunch he would follow. He would question her, and this time she would know just what to do.
And her hunch was correct. There he stood. In her hallway, leaning against the wall next to her door with his arms crossed and smirk in place. Clad in a black shinobi shirt, Jounin vest, black shinobi pants, kunai holster, hitai-atai, black ninja sandals and all.
Every inch of him scream mysterious and Sakura wasn't about to let an opportunity like this pass her by. She'd use it to her advantage and relish every moment of her getting on Sasuke's last nerve until he cracks and yet again does something entertaining.
o.O
When she was finished, Sakura changed into a clean outfit that consisted simply of a black tee-shirt, her hitai-atai, black knee-high shinobi boots, kunai holster, Jounin vest, black mid-thigh spandex shorts and her bubblegum tresses pulled into a pony-tail with her bangs framing her face. Any idiot wouldn't say she was breath-taking, and she knew it too. She just couldn't wait to piss Sasuke off until he reached his breaking point. She mentally snickered and walked out into the hall.
Only, she bareley made it out before she was slammed into the wall with Sasuke's hands at either side of her head; giving her a clear view of his smirking face.
"Why hello Sasuke." She said sweetly and then smirked herself.
"That was quite the performance Sakura." He said. The huskiness in his voice made inner-Sakura swoon and rip off his shirt, but outer-Sakura remained in control, and unfazed.
"Oh you caught it? I had no idea you were there. I didn't see you." She purred and even though she couldn't see it, a shiver went up his spine.
"Hn. Sure you didn't." He smirked and lifted his head as he pushed off the wall and shoved his hands in his pockets.
She also pushed off the wall and walked back into her room with him following suit.
She sat on her plush pink bed and he leaned against the wall; smirking as she examined her nails, seeming unaffected in the least.
He knew all to well just how much it was taking her to not glomp on him. And that thought alone amused him to no end.
"Is there something you came here for Sasuke?" She asked rather annoyingly and the thought of him annoying her would have never even been considered in their genin years.
"Hn. Usually a performance like that is dedicated to someone. Just who did you dedicate yours to?" He asked, still smirking.
His arrogance was beginning to piss her off and she gritted her teeth before answering.
"Nobody in particular. Just a spur of the moment kind of thing." She smirked. Her tone with thick like honey and just as sweet. He knew she was toying with him. Trying to get under his skin until he broke down and did the impulsive act he was fighting to not do.
"Hn. Your lying." He accused and she snapped her hand in his direction, scoffing and crossing her arms in the process.
"Che. I have no reason to, Sasuke-kun." She spat. Her tone was like venom and she did not like how he was trying to turn the tables on her.
"Is that so? What other men do you know that, that song could possibly be meant for?" He questioned and an idea popped into her head.
"What are you implying?" She asked.
"Nothing. I'm just saying." He said nonchalantly.
"Hm. You're an asshole, do you know that?" She gritted and he only smirked wider.
"And you're a priss."
"Jerk."
"Idiot."
"Prick."
"Forehead."
"Forehead." Sakura mimicked. A whole new idea came to mind.
"Hn."
"Hn." She mocked and his patience began to where thin.
He pushed off the wall and she pushed off the bed as they walked up to each-other, arms crossed and tempors roaring.
"Your annoying." He spat and she smirked.
"Your annoying." She mocked.
"Knock it off."
"Knock it off."
"Damn it Sakura!"
"Damn it Sakura!"
"I love you." He said and before she could comprehend anything, he grabbed her shoulders and crashed his lips to hers.
Her eyes began to feel heavy until they closed and she gripped his upper-arms as her lips moved with his in perfect sync.
Never in all her years of knowing him had she expected this kind of impulsive act.
He tasted like tomatoes she noted. Probably from his obsession with the fruit and his refusal from eating anything sweet.
When he pulled back his former smirk danced back onto his face the moment he saw how dazed she looked.
"W-What?" She asked looking up at him and he sighed.
"You heard me. Don't make me say it again, I hate repeating myself." He said pinching the bridge of his nose.
Her eyes suddenly lit up and she threw her arms around his neck, giggling up a storm.
"You really are an asshole, but I love you too." She smiled and he smirked as he went in for another kiss.
…
A/N: Okay so it wasn't sooo CRACKFIC that you'd fall on the floor laughing but I thought it was funny. Yeah that song is one of my favorites. I love AVRIL LAVIGNE and it fit the mood so perfectly. I bet you guys didn't expect that ending huh?! Huh?!
Well all you people who are against SASUSAKU, come to the dark side. Hehe WE HAVE MUFFINS! Evil bazooka weidling muffins with chocolate chips! Bitter-sweetness people! Their bitter-sweet! Haha
Leave reviews please!
And check out my other story; Let's Dance. Currently in process.
Ja ne!
-Ashuurii.