"Sam would ya just let it go? I can't take anymore of this!"

The Winchester brothers stared at each other across the roof of the Impala, unseasonable torrential rain plastering Sam's hair to his head, whilst Dean blinked the water out of his eyes.

Sam sniffed miserably in the cold and felt tears running down his face to mix with the water pouring from the heavens.

Dean glanced away. He couldn't bear to see that hopeless look on his brother's expressive face any longer. His guilt was already driving him to new heights and he really didn't need this.

Sam had been pushing himself too far and too hard, trying to find a way out of this deal. And now Sam had finally confessed to shooting the cross road demon.

It was all for Dean.

Because Sam couldn't bear to let him go.

A long unbearable shit list of unbearable shittiness that Dean was fed up with facing every sunrise he woke up to.

"Dean…"

It was that soft whisper that finally caused Dean to snap.

At that moment, Dean had the worst thought run through his mind. He would willingly go to hell right now if it meant not having to listen to his brother's anguish and despair one minute longer.

But what was even worse than that….Dean realised he'd spoken aloud.

He watched with regret at the hurt and shock that swiftly over took Sam's face.

He just couldn't take it any longer. Dean glanced around him, not really seeing the dank, dark street. They'd just finished a brutal hunt in downtown Los Angeles, and the depressing surroundings added to Dean's foul mood.

And that look on Sam's face really wasn't helping.

"I need a drink." Dean backed away from the car, feet finding purchase on the slippery tarmac. Turning his back and walking away he added "I'll see ya back here in a couple of hours."

Sam shook his head, lips pressed tightly together as he tried his best to hold in the wail of pain he felt building up inside him. "Dean…wait! Please…"

But his pleas fell on deaf ears as his brother disappeared out of sight, probably heading for the nearest bar.

Sam slowly turned his body round so that his back rested up against the Impala. Raising his face, he shut his eyes in the forlorn hope that the rain would not only wash away the grime of the hunt, but also his fears, anxieties, nightmares….

He was distracted by the sound of two sets of screeching tires, but also the gunshots that cracked loudly throughout the silent, drab street.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Dean carried on, ignoring his brother's voice. He refused to turn back, because to turn back would be his undoing. He needed to get away.

Away from Sam, away from life…

He reflected bitterly that in a few months he'd achieve both, but that thought only served to propel him onwards to seek a bar, and drunken oblivion.

Dean paused in his stride when he heard tires squealing on the tarmac far behind him. Frowning, he stopped altogether when he heard shots ring out.

When the cold feeling in the pit of his stomach grew, he started running.

Back towards the Impala, back towards his lost little brother.

Feet pounding against the cement, he raced round the block and skidded to a halt.

"Sam get down!"

But his warning came too late.

As the cars in full pursuit mode turned onto the street, Dean saw Sam turn towards him when he heard his yell.

Gunfire broke out again between the cars, men leaning out the windows, each in a shoot-to-kill mind set.

And suddenly, there was nothing Dean could do to stop it.

And suddenly, Sam was caught in the cross-fire.

And suddenly….

…Sam's body jerked violently under the onslaught as the bullets caught him, one after another, spinning him round 'til he was clutching at the roof of the Impala, desperately trying to stay upright.

The cars sped on, completely oblivious and uncaring to the devastation they'd left behind.

Dean went through all the usual emotions filed under "Oh shit" indexed by "Sam's hurt" before he was finally galvanised into action.

"Sammy!" As he got within a few feet of his brother, Sam glanced up at him, shock evident on his face. His mouth was moving but no sound was coming out, and that appeared to cause Sam even more confusion.

Hands still scrabbling at the roof of the car, he felt Dean swiftly wrap his arms round him. "Sam…" Dean choked out, remorse, guilt and a full on buffet of fear eating at him.

Sam finally got the words out "I'm s..sorry Dean." He whispered. Sam looked down at the growing pool on the car's roof, and shuddered as the warm liquid snaked down the passenger door. He glanced up at Dean, tears in his eyes. "I g..got blood on your b..baby."

"Sammy it's ok…" Dean held him tighter when he felt Sam slump as his knees buckled.

Lowering them both to the ground, Dean knew he was close to falling apart, but that couldn't happen.

Not now.

Not ever.

He'd let Sam down enough for more than this life time.

Whispering encouragement softly in Sam's ear, he pulled out his cell phone and dialled

911.

He stared deep into Sam's eyes and panicked. His little brother was fading fast. Running a hand through Sam's wet hair, he hoped like hell the ambulance would get here fast.

"Stay with me Sammy. You're gonna be ok, I promise." But he couldn't hide the fear in his voice.

Sam struggled to breathe as blood rose up his throat and threatened to choke him. "D…"

His eyes remained locked with Dean's and he tried to focus on his brother's words, hands clutching at Dean's shirt.

Dean watched in anguish as blood spilled over Sam's lips. "Sammy…"

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Sam's eyes fluttered open.

He twitched his nose, feeling an oddly irritating sensation. It felt like something was resting across his face, the focal point wedged into his nasal passage.

Ah well, better that than another certain passage…

"Dude! Finally you're awake!"

Sam frowned as he turned his head towards the familiar voice.

"Dean?" He croaked.

"Yeah the one and only. Thank god! I've been waiting three weeks for your ass to wake up and I'm bored shitless!" Dean tried to cover his relief with faux irritation.

Sam merely frowned at him again. "What happened to me? What am I doing in hospital? Three weeks? What the hell?..."

Dean abandoned all attempts to cover how he really felt. He could see that Sam was on the verge of panic so he softened his approach.

"You were on the receiving end of a drive-by little bro." Dean shook his head a little, and when he continued his voice was barely above a whisper. "You're really lucky to still be here man. Even the doctors can't figure out how you survived." He gave off a self-derisory chuckle. "I guess that deal with the cross road demon was worth it after all huh?"

And immediately regretted the thoughtless comment, as Sam turned his head away. But not fast enough to prevent Dean seeing the tears already forming.

"Hey hey! Sam I'm sorry, I…" Reaching out he gently grasped Sam's chin and forced him to look him in the eye. "I'm sorry ok? It was a stupid thing to say." Dean whispered. "I'm sorry 'bout a lot of things. But I will never be sorry about making that deal."

The tears finally spilled over and ran down Sam's face and Dean gently wiped them away.

Before Sam could speak Dean carried on. "And I know you'll get me outa this. I trust you Sam. I believe in you."

Sam smiled through his tears and reached up his own hand to grasp Dean's. "Thanks."

Dean was the one who was confused now. "For what?"

And the answer shook Dean to his very core. "For just being you."

Dean paused, then a broad grin emerged. "Get some sleep little bro. I'll be here when you wake up."

And as Sam's eyes gradually closed, he heard his brother whisper "I'll always be here for you."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Now don't be greedy. Pass the bucket. Everyone needs a good old heave.

Seriously, let me know what you think guys. I'd been thinking about this one for a while and tonight it just came together.

Kind regards,

ST.xxx.