Cookies
By Trick Steven
"Guys, I have to admit that what we did back there was a terrible job," muttered Captain Cold as he, Mirror Master, and Captain Boomerang trudged through the entrance of their villainous hideout. The trio of costumed Rogues had just gotten back from a robbery of the Central City Bank, which had gone terribly wrong. Only two minutes had past when they arrived at the bank, when out of the blue, their foe, The Flash, appeared. They hardly had time to draw their weapons before Flash had thrown in a few punches at them, but miraculously Captain Cold had managed to freeze Flash before he had the chance to take his freeze gun. Knowing that Flash would eventually break free, Mirror Master dumped Flash into one of his mirror portals and broke it into a million tiny pieces. All seemed well of course, until Supergirl and Batman arrived to save the Scarlet Speedster. Then as Captain Boomerang so eloquently put it at the time, they were "Screwed."
And screwed they were because, as hard as they tried, they couldn't beat the powerful leaguers. So they retreated into an escape portal panel that Mirror Master had for just the occasion and left without as much as a cent. So all in all, it was a bad day for them.
Trickster, however seemed to be enjoying himself as he munched on some cookies on their couch. He was sporting an arm sling on his right arm that he decorated himself with crazy, eye blinding colors. He had gotten the broken arm when his snot-gun back fired in their last run in with the Flash, but fortunately the doctor estimated that it would heal soon enough. Well the doctor did have an ice-gun to his forehead when he gave that diagnosis, but unfortunately, that's what rogues had to do to get medical care nowadays.
"Hey guys!" the Trickster said cheerfully as soon as he spotted his friends coming in. "So how was the robbery?"
"Didn't you hear Cold? It was terrible!" replied Mirror Master after he sat down on a chair near their dinning room table.
"And we didn't even get a penny out of it," grumbled Captain Boomerang as he rubbed the black eye that Batman had so graciously given him.
"Aw, that's too bad. I bet if I was there, I would've kicked Flash's butt," said Trickster.
"Of course you would've. After all, your snot gun worked the last time didn't it?" answered Captain Boomerang sarcastically.
"Hey! It was malfunctioning that day," shot back Trickster.
"Ah huh, sure," muttered Captain Boomerang, refraining from rolling his eyes at Trickster just this once.
Trickster opened his mouth to argue but Captain Cold interrupted him, saying, "Could you guys please stop fighting? I'm starting to get a migraine."
"O.K Captain!" replied Trickster, giving Captain Cold a mock salute. Trickster continued to eat his cookies but then stopped. He looked over to Captain Cold, who was sitting on the other side of the couch, looking miserable.
Feeling sympathetic, Trickster extended a hand containing the bag of cookies and asked, "Want some cookies? They always make me feel better when I'm down."
Captain Cold waved him off, replying, "No thanks Ja-", but then stopped in mid sentence.
He peered closer at the bag of cookies and asked Trickster, "What kind of cookies are these?"
"Tasty cookies?" answered Trickster innocently.
Captain Boomerang grabbed the bag of cookies and saw what was on the cover. He smirked as he said, "Not from the cover these ain't. I can't believe you like Justice League cookies."
"What?!" shouted Captain Cold, taking the cookies from Boomerang's hands. On the cover stood Superman, Batman, and Flash, smiling and flashing a victory sign. Captain Cold's eye twitched.
In the background, Mirror Master was talking to Trickster, saying, "James, you can't buy Justice League cookies. It's hypocritical! Plus it's not ethical to buy your archenemies' products."
"But they're so good!" explained Trickster. "See this lady at the grocery store was giving free samples, so I said to myself, 'Why not try some?', so I did and I liked them."
Captain Boomerang picked up the cookies from where Captain Cold had left them and read the back out loud, "Hey look what this says, 'Ten percent of all proceeds go to the Justice League Watchtower.' Those lucky bastards…"
That was the last straw for Captain Cold.
He got up from the sofa and sternly told Trickster, "We don't buy things with the Justice League on the cover, especially," and then he pointed to the image of Flash on the bag of cookies, "him!"
"But then what am I going to do with the rest of the cookies?" asked Trickster.
"You bought more?" questioned Captain Cold in disbelief.
"Uh yes?" answered Trickster.
Captain Cold sighed and then said, "Just tell me where they are and we can forget that this whole incident ever happened."
Trickster nodded enthusiastically and directed, "It's in the third kitchen cabinet on your right."
Captain Cold, along with Mirror Master, went into the kitchen. Captain Boomerang, unnoticed by the rest of the rogues, was eating the Justice League cookies and was apparently enjoying them.
"These cookies ain't half bad," commented Boomerang to himself. He grabbed a cookie version of Flash and bit his head off. He smiled and said, "Sorry Flashy, it's a little thing called karma."
Meanwhile in the hideout's kitchen, Captain Cold and Mirror Master were in front of the cabinet that held the cookies.
"So, um, Len do you want to open the cabinet?" asked Mirror Master to Captain Cold.
"Well if it makes you happy…" said Captain Cold. He pulled the cabinet door open and a flood of boxes hit him, knocking him over.
"Oh god, there must be at least a hundred boxes of cookies in there!" exclaimed Mirror Master.
Captain Boomerang came rushing in, shouting, "Hey is there an earthquake or something?"
He then noticed all the boxes littered on the tile floor and exclaimed, "Crikey! That's a whole lotta cookies."
Captain Cold, who was buried underneath the boxes, managed to reach the surface and was wearing a face of deep contempt.
Trickster, who sheepishly moved from the corner he was hiding in, laughed nervously and said, "Well I wasn't kidding when I told you that those cookies were good."
"It's O.K. James. I'm willing to forgive you, although these cookies will be hell to get rid of," Said Captain Cold, trying hard to keep cool.
He then added, "Well, looking on the bright side of things, at least you used your money instead of mine, right?"
"Well, I…um" muttered Trickster nervously.
"Oh God no." moaned Mirror Master, predicting what will happen next.
"I kind of, spent your, um, bill money. It was just lying around, so I thought you, um, didn't need it," explained Trickster.
There was a long period of silence as Captain Cold's face got redder and redder from rage. He got up from the pile of boxes and said slowly, "You…little…BASTARD!" He then whipped out his freeze gun and pulled the trigger, ice shooting out from the muzzle.
Trickster narrowly avoided it by jumping out of the way and then ran out of the hideout, pleading, "Please don't kill me! I didn't mean to!"
Captain Cold ran out after him, freezing everything in his path and screaming obscenities that would never appear on a children's show.
"Hey, Sam, get the video camera! This is golden!" said Captain Boomerang to Mirror Master as he chased after the pair, laughing hysterically.
"This isn't going to end well," muttered Mirror Master to himself as he walked upstairs to fetch his camera.
About a day later, Captain Cold, along with Mirror Master and Captain Boomerang, were back at their secret hideout, playing cards. Trickster, amazingly enough, was alive. However, he was stuck in a block of ice about a foot thick with only his head free from his icy prison. He was also very, very cold.
"Hey, guys not to be rude or anything but as much as I like being a Trickster-flavored Popsicle, it's kind of getting cold in here, so if you don't mind me asking…"
"No," said Captain Cold, not looking up from his cards. "Hey, Digger, you have a five?"
"Nope. Go fish," said Captain Boomerang.
"But I might get frostbite!" pleaded Trickster.
"Your problem," replied Captain Cold. "It's your turn, Digger."
Trickster, who was placed next to Captain Cold, peered down at his cards.
"Len has a five, two eights, a seven and a-" Trickster started.
Cold raised his freeze gun threateningly at his head and said, "Do you want me to ice the only part of your body that isn't freezing right now?"
Trickster shook his head and then fell silent. Captain Cold lowered his freeze gun and continued to play the game.
"Hey guys, not to be a nag or anything, but what about the cookies?" asked Mirror Master.
"I got rid of them," answered Captain Cold.
"Where to?" questioned Captain Boomerang.
Captain Cold smirked as he said, "I sent them over to a dear friend of ours. I'm sure he'll like them."
Meanwhile, at the Flash Museum, a confused police officer tried to explain to Flash on what exactly filled up one story of the Flash Museum.
"I have no idea what could be in those boxes," explained the police officer as Flash examined the boxes. "I'm sure it's not bombs because our dogs would've detected them."
"Hm, doesn't look suspicious to me," answered Flash as he opened a box, ripped a bag open and ate a cookie.
"It tastes good, too," commented Flash, smiling.
His smile then turned into a puzzled frown as he said, "But I have no idea why someone would send me all these cookies."
"Maybe it's an evil plot to make you a diabetic?" suggested the police officer.
They both looked at each for a moment and burst out laughing.
Author's Note: Yes, there are Justice League cookies. Unfortunately they don't have a Flash cookie, but they're tasty nonetheless.