Disclaimer: I don't own KKM. But I sure do wish.
A/N: I don't know where this story came from…it just popped into my head one day. I'm not sure if I got Anissina's character down, and I wrote her in my own way. This is a completely fluffy story with no plot, and it's pared down to include the essentials. Let me know what you think. I present to you:
Anissina and Mr. Cake-Maker
Anissina felt more diabolical than usual. She had several new inventions lined up that were ready to be tested. Lovingly she took a final look.
First in line was her favorite: Mr. Make-up-and-dress-and-hair-style. When activated, this machine would style hair, dress a person to perfection, and for women, put make-up on in exactly the right shade and color.
Then there was Mr. Automatic-leather-cleaner. This machine would clean any leather placed inside.
Thirdly she had Mr. Take-the-pimento-out-of-the-olive. His name was self-explanatory.
Lastly she had her second favorite: Mr. Track-down-someone-you-need. Select anything the person has worn, place it inside, and the machine could locate that person! All she needed was Gwendal…
But today she was having trouble finding him. Usually she just barged into his study and dragged him out, but no matter where she went, it was obvious he was evading her.
Then she remembered…Gwendal had gone out of the castle with the Maoh to calm some restless civilians over to the east. And of course Wolfram and Conrart were never to be parted from His Majesty. Dammit!
That left…she thought, tapping her chin. Gunter!
Ah…but where would she find the Royal Advisor? It might be time for her to try Mr. Track-down-somone-you-need on her own. Anissina contemplated this idea for a few seconds. Nah…her mind was too great to be used for experimentation. The living world needed her…
Anissina's mind trailed off when her stomach growled. She hadn't realized how much energy she'd spent tramping all over the castle looking for Gwendal. Well, she couldn't be expected to work on an empty stomach, so Anissina decided to take a break and head on over to the kitchens.
Her long, magenta ponytail swishing behind her, Anissina made tracks to get some sustenance. She entered the large, cool kitchen and shooed the handmaidens out of her way. Anissina liked to do things on her own, and so she shifted through the cabinets looking for something tasty to fill her stomach.
In the middle of her search, she suddenly had an urge for cake-chocolate cake, no less. Oh, yes…chocolate sounded exactly like something she needed.
Hmmm…she contemplated, drumming her fingers on the counter. AH-HA! She would invent a machine to make chocolate cake…how wonderful!
"Lady Anissina, is there anything I can do for you?" asked the Head Cook, Nicca. Anissina spun, bursting with renewed energy.
"Nicca! I will invent a cake-making machine that will make and bake a cake with little or no effort. Set out the necessary ingredients, and I shall return!" Anissina proclaimed, marching out of the kitchen.
"Oh, wait! Lady Anissina! Take this!" Nicca called, and when Anissina turned, the Head Cook tossed an apple to the dynamic inventor.
"Heavens, what is she up to now?" Nicca whispered to the handmaidens flanking her, as she watched the confident and brilliant woman march away, munching messily on the apple as she did.
Several hours passed. Anissina remained locked up in her Inventing Arena, clanking, cranking, and mumbling incoherently under her breath. A few times she would step away, hands on hips (one hand holding a wrench) and look crossly at the metal box in front of her.
"If I insert the tubulator into the bypass system, the cake should bake quicker," she concluded and dove back into the box. After about a half an hour, Anissina grinned at her new invention.
"It's complete! The world will be made a better place with Mr. Cake-Maker and…" she shifted her eyes around, as if she was surrounded by conspirators, "chocolate!"
Thrilled with her ingenious inventing skills, she wound her way back to the kitchen. As she was setting up Mr. Cake-Maker, one handmaiden ran in, breathless and dazzled.
"Everyone…everyone! The King and the Lords are…oh, Lady Anissina," she interrupted herself when she saw the Red Devil half-inside her invention. Lady Anissina gave the handmaiden a hungry look.
"The Lords are what?" she asked quietly, hoping against hope that the next words were 'are back.'
"They're back, My Lady," the handmaiden continued, eyes wide in shock when Lady Anissina charged toward her, a victorious smile turning up her lips and hard confidence twinkling in her eyes. Nicca grabbed the frozen handmaiden out of the way, just as Anissina hurtled through the door.
Anissina had five inventions, count 'em, five, and by the Great One, Gwendal was going to try out every single one of them! And if she couldn't get her hands on Gwendal…then one of the others would have to do.
Gwendal felt a chill run up his spine and knew that Anissina had sneaked up on him even before she said anything.
"Gwendal! At last you have returned! You must come quickly, for I have a new invention ready to be tested!" Her cheerfulness was the scariest part about her besides the 'new invention.' Gwendal didn't even get a chance to smooth his wind-mussed hair before Anissina grabbed his arm and hauled him into the castle, where sputtering and half-exclaimed protests fell on deaf ears.
"Gwendal, meet Mr. Cake-Maker. After a sudden urge for chocolate cake, I've invented a machine that will mix and bake the cake all by itself. All you need is to put in the ingredients, like so," here she cracked in eggs, poured milk, and dumped flour into the top of the machine, "and crank this handle here. Gwendal, crank!"
"Are you sure this'll work?" Gwendal asked hesitantly, glancing at the handmaidens and Nicca. They shrugged, unknowing. He flexed his hands and began cranking the machine. It creaked and rumbled.
"After the ingredients are sufficiently mixed, all I have to do is flip this switch, and then voila! A cake will be baked!" she announced with great flourish. Gwendal watched with great trepidation as Anissina flipped the switch.
The machine rattled and a hissing issued forth. There was a pause, and the machine began ticking. Confusion crossed Anissina's pretty features.
"Huh. That's not supposed to ha…"
Even before Anissina could finish the sentence, the machine exploded with a gigantic BOOM, scaring the bejesus out of the people gathered in the kitchen. Smoke curled around the now blackened metal box, and only when Nicca opened the window did the smoke clear.
The kitchen was a mess. The people were a mess. Batter had splattered everywhere, but mostly covered Gwendal and Anissina.
Gwendal flicked the brown goop from his eyes and scowled at Anissina through his sloppy faux mud-mask. She had thrown an arm in front of her face, but her hair and her clothes were decorated with the sweet mixture. His green uniform was the same.
An irritated Gwendal also noticed that her face was for the most part free of batter. So to humor himself, he scooped up some mix. Anissina noticed what he was doing and took a cautionary step backwards.
"Now Gwendal," she started, lifting her arms to ward him off, but he anticipated her. He slung the cake batter and scored a direct hit to Anissina's face. "Gwendal!"
She tried wiping the stuff off, but only succeeded in worsening it. Anissina fixed Gwendal with a glare, swooped up some oozing ammo and let fly.
Soon the handmaidens and Nicca joined in the batter-flinging. They didn't realize they were being watched until Wolfram exploded with, "What the hell are you all DOING?!"
Everyone stopped and looked at Wolfram, who stood rigidly in the doorway. Then with a plop, some cake batter hit Wolfram smack-dab in the face.
A giggle drew Anissina and Gwendal's attention. One of the handmaidens was clutching her stomach, laughing mirthfully at the situation. The two others and Nicca, after a short pause, joined her. Gwendal gave irate Wolfram a long, ponderous look and cracked a smile himself. Seeing Gwendal smile made Anissina giggle, and soon everyone was holding his or her side, roaring with laughter.
Wolfram failed to see what was so amusing, and when he stepped inside the kitchen to give the laughing baboons, one of which was his revered older brother, a piece of his mind, his foot slid in some of the batter, and he promptly fell on his rear.
It only caused the others to laugh harder.
A/N: I just had to have a Wolfie-jab at the end of this story…he's so easy to tease. On any account, was that fluffy enough? Too fluffy? You hated it, and you wish you could gouge your eyes out? Please review or comment or SOMETHING! Heh, heh, heh…until I write again…