This is my newest story about how Bella moves on after Edward has died. In this story, everyone is human. The couples are all still the same, however the Cullen family isn't related except Carlisle and Esme are Edward's birth parents. Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett are still together, but are just friends and not relations. I also would like to point out that this story will be following a loosely similar plot line from PS I Love You by Cecilia Ahern. You don't have you know the book in order to understand my story goes. I know that this first chapter is short, but they will get longer as the story progresses.

Disclaimer: Twilight and PS I Love You are owned by Stephenie Meyer and Cecilia Ahern respectively.

Enjoy!

"Bella, don't worry about me. You'll be able to survive once I'm gone. I know this is going to be hard on you. Live your life the way you wanted. Go after that writing career you've always had a dream to pursue. Travel to Europe like you've always talked about. I'm not going to be holding you back from your dreams anymore. You'll be able to survive, you'll have a great life, Bella. Please stop worrying about me, there's nothing left that can be done. Never think that you will be alone, I'll always be with you, watching you, I'll be your guardian angel."

These were Edward's last spoken words five months ago, though he didn't pass until a month later. The medications that the doctors had put him on made him very weak and even using the energy to speak one word could thoroughly exhaust him. The only way he was able to communicate anything at all was sometimes his facial expressions, but his piercing green eyes were the biggest indicator of how he was feeling.

If he was happy you could just see the fire light those sparking emeralds, though when he was forced to live in the hospital, it was a very rare and treasured occurance. The emotions I read most during those months was fear, the fear of dying, of leaving me alone, and hurt.

Seeing his pain was probably the worst part while he was alive. His eyes were so powerful that with a single glance could convey an explanation for anything. When he was in pain, he would roll his head in my direction, eyes closed at first, and try to rub my hand that was holding his. He normally couldn't manage more than moving his thumb across my hand two or three times, but the gesture was the only thing that mattered to me, the only small comfort that I had.

After he was too tired to continue, he would open eyes, only showing a tiny slit, but it was still enough. I could see how much pain he was in, not on physically, but emotionally. He was pained by the thought of leaving me on my own, of leaving our friends, his parents. It was too early for him to go, but there was nothing more that could be done for him.

The doctors tried everything running tests every few hours, trying to find some sort of explanation for his condition. They brought in some of the best doctors they could get a hold of, but all of them were perplexed with my husband's condition. He had symptoms of over a dozen different diseases, but once they tested him for any of them, they found that he was negative for the disease. The mystery disease loomed over the heads of everyone, no one knew anything that could be done to help him, but they never threw in the towel. Stay up all night in hopes that a solution would miraculously jump out at them and they would be able to save Edward, but nothing ever showed up.

Now I was just a shell of my original self. Edward used to tell me how exuberant I was, so full of life. Over the months, I hadn't left our home, except to attend the funeral which I had long since blocked from my mind, no matter how many times Alice or Rosalie would try to get me to get out, even if it was just to walk down the driveway and back inside. I knew they were only trying to do what they thought would be best for me. I knew they were just trying to bring back the old Bella that they loved and missed, but I just couldn't bring myself to leave the place where we had spent so much time together.

I barely ate, slept, didn't think about him. Everything I saw or heard would bring back a memory of him, each one more painful than the last. I know that by now I should be done mourning his loss, but I just can't do anything besides mourn and think about him, if I even try to do anything else, the memories come and I'm back to where I started. I know that I'll never love again and I've accepted this fact. I'm doomed to be the lonely widow who grows more despaired with age.

Anyone that knew me or Edward has tried to get me out of the downward spiral I'm in, but the only thing that could make me happy again was Edward coming back. Edward was never going to come back, so I would never be happy again. I will continue to exist until fate smiles upon me and lets me join Edward in heaven and only then will I truly be happy.

Review please!

Katth