"I'mhh…fine, Roxie…" she slurred with a small smile.
I watched guiltily as she became more and more intoxicated. I wanted her to stop, I really did, but I knew she wouldn't listen to me, and then probably she'd be upset and throw a fit, making herself look even more wasted than she did now as she leaned against my shoulder, continuing to pour alcohol down her throat.
Naminé…this was her first time drinking anything; I had never let her before. She wanted to be the life of the party when she got here, so she was easily talked into it. She was angry with me earlier this week, when I told her she couldn't go with me on a trip to Destiny Islands. I wasn't trying to be mean to her or anything! I had something I needed to get there, and well…it was for her birthday, so I couldn't let her see it ya know? It would ruin the surprise, but…I'm still not so sure she'll like it.
So sometime while I was gone, Seifer, one of the worst guys at the university, talked her into going to his start of school bash at his place. And, knowing it would tick me off, she agreed.
How had I gotten here? Simple, Naminé had told her sister Kairi, where she was going, who in turn told her boyfriend, my brother, Sora, who then told me. Kind of hard to follow huh? So after Sora told me, I made a promise to myself to be there on Friday night, like hell I was gonna let her go by herself… or at least not without me. I didn't give a rat's rear if she was mad at me or not, I was going to be there.
What? I'm not over protective… After knowing each other since we were little…I don't think I could let anything happen to her though. I've always been there, when her mom died, when her dad started drinking, when her date stood her up on prom night…It doesn't seem like it's been that long ago, even though it has.
So Friday rolled around and I ended up arriving a little later than I had planned. I walked in and sorted through the people to find Naminé. When I found her, she had a cup to her mouth, with people sitting around her with smirks.
It would be an understatement for me to say that I yelled at her, cause I really yelled at her. And then we go into the argument over what she was doing and why I was there. After we both had told our sides of the story, I tried to get her to stop drinking, considering she was on her second glass by this time. She begged and begged for me to let her finish, so I gave in.
So four or five drinks later here we are sitting on a couch, with Naminé talking as if she was wasted…oh wait…she is.
"Come on Nami, give me the drink," I said softly as I took the drink from her hands when she wasn't paying attention.
"No! Give it b-back.." she reached over me and tried to take it back.
I shook my head and poured it out on the carpet. Hey it wasn't mine so who cared? She screamed and faced me angrily.
"You jerk! I hate you!" She cried. She shakily stood and grabbed her keys from the coffee table.
"Naminé!" I stood and followed her as she staggered out of the house. "Come on don't do it Naminé, it's not worth it."
She turned to face me. "Shut up Roxas! I don't need you to be there for me all the time! I can handle myself!"
I flinched slightly as she climbed into her car…Does she really feel that way? I ran over to her car and began banging on the windows.
"Please don't do this Naminé…" I said softly. "Get out of the car!"
She looked at me sadly and then shook her head and pulled out of the driveway, maneuvering through the parked cars on the side of the street.
I sighed and put a hand to my forehead. Well…since she was gone, there really was no reason for me to stay here either. I pulled my keys from my pocket and walked over to my car. Just as I had shut the door, my phone began to ring.
"Hello?" A bad habit of mine, answering the phone before I checked who it was. For all I know it could be Sora inviting me to another game of strip poker with Naminé and Kairi. I swear that guy cheated, he always won, and I had to leave the room. Luckily for me, and him, Naminé was against playing that 'game' and Sora was aware of this.
"Hey Roxas!" Much better than Sora. it Olette. A small smile spread across my lips before I returned to my normal blank stare.
"Hey, what's up?" She didn't usually just call to talk; I usually ended up doing some type of errand for her.
"Oh nothing…Okay my bedroom door is like stuck, and I can't seem to…get it unstuck I guess," She explained. Of course, a favor, but I didn't mind, she really doesn't call that much and I like spending time with Olette.
I laughed softly and shook my head. "Alright, I'll be over there in a few minutes, okay?"
"Okay! Thank you so much Roxas!" She cried. I had to move the phone away from my ear, god that girl was loud.
I hung up before she could yell anything else; I've already had one girl yelling at me today, I didn't need another.
As I made a quick illegal U-turn to get on the right route to Olette's house, my thoughts wandered to Naminé. Had I actually let her drive home intoxicated? What if something happened? It would be my fault….no…it's Naminé, she never drives recklessly. She's smarter than that; she'll be fine…yeah. I said a quick prayer as I pulled into Olette's driveway.
So….it had occurred to me long ago, that Olette has had a crush on me since we were in primary school. I mean…it made sense, all the years of flirting in junior high and high school. But…she has also respected the fact that I have liked Naminé since…well…I guess I always have.
I bounded up the steps to her porch, hoping that fixing her bedroom door would get my mind off of Naminé…and the bad feeling I had in the pit of my stomach…But I think that was because I could smell Olette's cooking. Boy do I feel for her neighbors…
I knocked softly on the door and took a few steps back as the door opened to reveal Olette sporting her usual orange tank-top and corduroy colored pants; she looked at him with a small smile.
"Took you long enough Rox Rox," she opened the door to let me in. Another nickname I had acquired from a girl. Naminé had called me Roxie since we were kids, Olette called me Rox Rox…and Kairi called me Rox-ass…. yeah…I won't go into that story.
"Yeah, well…" I shrugged and she grabbed my hand and pulled me into her apartment.
I sighed as I looked around the neat room. That was one of the things I respected about Olette, she was really…. really organized. She just had to have things organized no matter what it was.
"So…how'd you break it anyway?" I asked as I followed her up a flight of stairs.
"What is that supposed to mean?" She cried.
"Depends, what did you think it meant?" I smirked as we reached the top.
"Please just fix it! Pleaaaaaaase?" She pouted in front of her door.
"Alright, alright," I sighed as I kneeled in front of her door, trying to find out what she had done this time.
I pushed myself up off the couch as Olette walked back into the room She had left a few minutes ago to answer her phone. I felt like something had stabbed into my heart when she walked into the room, tears flowing down her eyes.
"…Ollie…are you okay?" I slowly walked over to her.
"Roxas…"
"Olette, what happened?" I asked.
"Roxas, I'm so sorry!" She dropped to her knees.
I knelt down next to her and shook her shoulders. "What's wrong?"
"Kai-Kairi…call her!"
I quickly pulled out my phone and flipped it open, pressing Kairi's number on speed dial. It rang for a few seconds before I heard a "Roxas!" on the other line.
"Kairi, what's going on? Are you okay? Is it Sora, did som-"
"She was in an accident, god Roxas, it's horrible!" Kairi cried.
"Who? Who was in an accident?" Please don't say Naminé, please don't say her.
"Naminé, Roxas…we're at the hospital, you have to come, now…"
I felt my heart seem to slow down, time seemed to freeze and I couldn't hear anything. I shut my phone and stood. I ran out of the house and quickly climbed into my car. My hands were shaking and I could hardly breathe as I sped towards the hospital in a complete daze.
My Naminé? This was happening to her? It makes no sense to me. The girl I had known all my life, and the one that I had secretly loved my whole life….she was fighting for her life…or was her life already….I prayed she would make it, she had to make it.
But why her? She has so much ahead of her after university, what had she ever done wrong? But that was the thing, she had never done anything wrong, she always did what she was told, she never talked back to her elders, all that stuff ya know?
I slammed on breaks as I came to a stoplight, and just my luck, it was red. I quickly looked around making sure no one was around and that no cars were coming. I slammed my foot on the gas and cut across the four-way stop.
Sirens…I cursed as I looked in the rear view mirror to see red and blue flashing lights. I sighed and pulled over to the side of the road.
I watched an officer come up beside my car. He knocked on my window and I opened my door. He took a step away from the car and his hand reached towards his pocket.
"Get back in the car."
"Listen I have to go, I don't have time for this," I put my hands in the air.
"Get back in the car," he repeated more sternly
"I have to see her!" I cried. "She's in the hospital, that's why I ran it okay? Please just let me go, you can bill me later, or whatever, I'll….I don't care what you make me do then, but now I have to be there!" For the first time since I had gotten the call, tears gathered in my eyes.
"What the heck are you talking about kid?" He snapped.
"My friend was in an accident, she's at the hospital, and I need to go, please…" I looked down.
"Ah…" He was silent for a few seconds before he gave an apologetic look. "Sorry to hold you up kid….Get going then," he gave me a small smile and then headed back to his car.
I quickly climbed back into my car, and I sped towards the hospital. I turned into the parking lot, and quickly parked my car sideways. I sprinted to the entrance and ran through the halls, not really having any idea of where I'm going.
"Roxas!" I skidded to a stop and went back a few feet to see Kairi running towards me. "Oh my gosh Roxas, she's…. she won't wake up, they're trying to save her…but it…" she buried her face into my shoulder.
I swallowed the lump in my throat. What if they…
We sat out there waiting and crying for three damn hours before someone came to see us. A nurse nervously walked into the waiting room, and she shakily called out Kairi's name. Kairi let go of my hand, which was kind of a relief, that girl had a grip, and walked over to the nurse. I watched as Kairi burst into tears, she nodded and ran over to me. She wrapped her arms around my neck and sat in my lap sobbing.
"S-she's. …Roxas," She hugged my neck tighter.
I let my eyes fall downcast, silent tears began to run down my cheeks.
"No…you're kidding right?" They had been trying to save her for three damn hours, how could they have not saved her?
"Roxas!" She cried.
I winced and gently pushed her off of me.
"I have to see her," I stood and ran out of the room with Kairi yelling at me.
I ran through the halls and found the nurse that had told Kairi…. the news, and silently followed her. She entered a room and I waited till she came back out until I entered.
As soon as I walked in, I shut my eyes tightly. I could barely recognize her, I didn't want to. I felt my eyes water once again and I stared at the ground as I walked over to her.
"Naminé…I'm so sorry…" I said slowly, but it didn't matter, right? She can't hear me…
I laid my head on the bed and placed her hand in my own. Why her…. why now? I probably laid there for about five minutes before the tears that I was letting fall subsided.
"Roxas…." My head snapped up to meet two sapphire orbs staring at me.
"Naminé!"
"…Sorry."
"You don't have to be, I am, I'm so sorry!" I looked away. "I shouldn't have let you go…"
"It's…ok…"
It was probably hard for her to speak, none the less stay awake so I remained silent until I remembered I had her birthday present.
"Hey Naminé," I reached in my pocket and pulled out a velvet box. "I know it's a little early…but since…. you know…"
She nodded slowly and smiled. I opened the small box and showed her what was inside. I felt a small smile try to make it's way to my lips when she gasped softly.
"I was going to give it to you on your birthday…cause I thought it would be a good surprise…but…" Tears gathered in my eyes, this had to be the worst thing anyone could ever do to her.
Yeah…it was an engagement ring. Now I know what you're thinking. Have you ever even dated her? Was she ready for us to take the next step? Answer: yes, we had been dating, until I told her she couldn't go with me to pick it up. Of course it wasn't official that we had, so to say, broken up, but hey…I knew she felt the same way, Kairi and Sora had told me, way too many times.
She looked up at me, tears forming in her own eyes. They held so many different emotions, sadness, regret, shock, and others that I couldn't recognize. I felt bad about giving her this now…I mean…she couldn't say yes…and my biggest fear (well…now my biggest fear is that she won't actually pull through) was coming back to bite me. She had to say no…
"Roxas…" She closed her eyes. "I…can't…"
My heart sped up when the machine next to me began to make a continuous noise. I turned to the heart monitor to see the prior steady readings began to come in intervals.
"No!" I turned to face her. "No you can't Naminé, not now!"
"Love you Roxas…" she gave a small smile for a split second before it faded, and pain was etched into her features..
I quickly took her hand. This couldn't be happening, not now. Please keep fighting Naminé. Tears stung at my eyes, and everything was becoming blurry.
I dropped to my knees, "No…" I muttered, as the noise became a monotone buzz in my ears.
I pulled my hand back and fell backwards and leaned against a wall. I couldn't even look up at her. Because…it wasn't her anymore, now it was just her body. I pulled out my phone and scrolled down the contacts until I came to her name. I didn't need it, I wouldn't hear her voice again on the other line asking for help, or to meet her at the clock tower for ice cream. No, the only thing she was now…was a memory, but…I don't think I'm ready for her to just become a memory…not yet.
This wasn't surprising huh? I mean… it always happens in the movies and stuff…a rainy funeral. But she loved the rain; she would tell me that it relaxed her. And on more than one occasion, she would simply sit on the roof of our apartment building, and let the rain fall down on her. And of course I was the one taking care of her when she go sick.
I shifted uneasily as the minister continued to say things that she is…or used to be. A friend, a sister, you know all that jazz? But Naminé even though I never got an answer, I'm glad that you still liked the ring.
I pulled the black tux away from my body, it was September but it was still pretty warm, even in the rain. Kairi and Olette were beside Sora and me, silently letting tears fall. Sora was trying not to cry, I could see him biting his lip, trying to hold it in. But…it was okay to cry right?
I didn't even try to hide them, how could I? Naminé, I'll never be the reason to make her smile again, I'll never be the one to steal her sketch book and colored pencils and then hide it in Sora's room to make him take the blame. And I'll never be able to hear her voice tell me; "It's okay, cause I'm here right?" And she was right, it was always okay when she was there.
Olette leaned on my arm.
"You never think it's gonna happen to someone close to you…. do you?" She whispered.
"Or happen to those who don't deserve it…" I felt my hand ball up into a fist. For some reason, I wanted to take it out on anybody, whether it was Sora, or Kairi and Olette. But they didn't deserve it, it wasn't their fault, I was the one to blame.
I jumped slightly when Olette gently took my hand. I looked down at her; she smiled back up at me.
"It'll be okay Roxas, cause she's always with you, right?" She pointed to my heart with her free hand. "Keep her memory alive, I know we'll all try too, but you have to do your part as well."
I gave her one of Sora's cheesy smiles and nodded.
"And I'm sure Naminé wouldn't want us moping around anyway, right?"
"Yep!" She chirped happily.
Sora sighed. "I never should have let her go to that party…"
Kairi put her hand on his shoulder and then wrapped her arms around his waist.
"Come on buddy, it was my fault if anyone's," I said softly.
We all nodded and stood in silence for the rest of the funeral. When it was over we parted and went our separate ways, Sora and Kairi to their apartment, Olette to hers and finally me to …ours
Two months laterI hate driving down the street she had the accident on; it feels cold ya know? I see her face; it's haunting my thoughts and dreams. I can barely sleep at night now. And every time I go to visit my mom, she goes crazy trying to figure out what she'd be doing a few years ahead. And what she was thinking when it happened, when she ran off the road…
I think…we only had one conversation about death, and that was when we were little, right after her mom had died.
A six-year-old Naminé sat on my bed with her face buried in her arms sobbing. It had been only a few hours since we had explained to her that her mom wasn't coming back.
I sat on the carpet in front of her trying to think of ways that would make her smile or laugh. Being the seven years old that I was, I continued to try and do funny stunts or jokes. I finally got her to smile when I told her Sora's deepest secret, that he had been the one to give Kairi the flower on Valentine's Day the past year. She smiled and stared at me for a while.
"Roxas…what would you do if I had left with mommy?"
I looked up at her sadly. I would be crushed, would have lost my best friend.
"Would…you really leave me Nami?" I asked in a childish voice.
"Never Roxas!" She cried sliding off the bed and sitting beside me. "Who would protect me?"
I gave her a cheesy smile and pointed my thumb at my chest. "I'll always protect you Nami!"
She giggled softly and then knocked me over in an embrace. We had a quick pillow fight and wrestled around. We sat up against the bed breathing heavily.
"Hey Roxas…You won't go to where mommy is without me right?" She looked up at me with her wide blue eyes.
"Nope, and you won't either right?"
She shook her head. "Cause you'll always protect me, right?"
"Always!"
She wrapped her arms around my waist and fell asleep after a few minutes of us sitting there in silence.
I tried to ignore the tears that were causing my vision of the road to blur. We hadn't known that our pact wouldn't withstand the forces of death. We were kids…how could we have known? She could have done so much, but…
She had to take that turn doing eighty-five in a thirty-five, and I'm the one who let her go.
She always did everything she was told well, her grades, she was queen on the tennis court. I'd hate to be the girls who had to against her.
But life wasn't fair enough to let her ride through college with that scholarship; it had to end on her way home, because she was mad at me. She never thought about leaving when she was living her life; she was invincible to all faults, she had everything she wanted, or so she said. But…I guess it was meant to be.
I pulled into my driveway and leaned back against the seat. I'm slowly recovering…slowly, but recovering nonetheless. I glanced up towards the sky, but she would always be here, in my heart, and just above the clouds.
See now wasn't that nice? Sarcasm intended. But leave a review if ya like, it's as simple as clicking a button and typing a few words.