I feel sorry for Holis, cause I mean, lets face it, she was never going to last, was she?

Enjoy

Objection

I don't hate her; it's not her fault that you are in love with her. I don't blame anyone but myself for letting me get into this situation that can only end in tears. I resent her; I resent her beauty, her gentleness juxtaposed with her forcefulness that makes her a formidable opponent in this game that the three of us are playing, and I don't want to play anymore.

I can understand why Jethro, I really can. You have so much history with Jen, you trust her with your life, if only you would trust me with your heart, but she has already got that as well. Sometimes I wonder if I could compete with her, but then I remember how you look at her, and I realise that there is no way that anyone can compete with that.

I dread your cell phone ringing, because I hate the way your voice changes when you talk to her, I hate the way you move out of ear shot, the way you say her name, gently and warmly, unless you are angry with her and then it becomes full of passion. I don't know which I hate more.

I don't want to have to fight for your affections, Jethro, and I feel at the moment that I am. Fighting against someone who I don't think you even know you are in love with yet, and if you do then you are trying your hardest to deny it. I could quiet easily fall in love with you, but I am not going to let myself, am not going to let my self fall for someone who can't admit his love, even though your love isn't for me. I am so tired of pretending that I don't notice.

She dropped round to your house the other day when I was there and I was invisible to you. You stood staring into her eyes and I stood next to you both, watching you both. I have to tell you Jethro, that as much as you try to deny that you love her, she loves you back. Don't live your life wasting it on someone else, go and grab it with both hands, you are free now. Free to pretend till your heart's content.

It's the small things that I notice the most. The way your hand lingers for a second too long on her arm, the way your eyes light up for the briefest second when you see her name on your call id, the way the minute she calls you drop everything and run to her. I would give anything to be loved like that by you.

It used to surprise me that you always knew when she was looking at you, standing up on the catwalk above you, but it doesn't anymore. You can feel her eyes on you, and I have to call your name to get you to look at me.

I wish I could ignore it, but I can't. I wish that I don't have to find a place away from you to be happy; I wish I could be happy with you.

I guess what hurts the most is knowing that you won't mourn my leaving, you might for a day or two but quickly you will get over me and go back to loving Jen from afar, and the sad thing is that I wish you two luck.

V!

xox