What? Absent for months? No…no…you're all crazy. I've been updating this whole time. They're just so amazing fanfiction refuses to show them to unworthy eyes…yup…that's exactly what's going down. Anywho, today's ditty has been brought to you by Siran 774, for this lovely prompt from a PM:
"You were in a boat, but then a storm hit. You were knocked into the water, unconscious. When you wake up again, you find yourself in a cave with a pool of water. Out of the pool swims a bottled nose dolphin. He greets you with a cheery clap of his flippers. What do you do?"
This leads to "mock other's phobias", and I came up with this. So you KNOW I have to have Raikou…and Raikou's a girl in this one, sorry to disappoint, but I'm not sure how many of the reviewers feel about guy on guy, though most support pokmonxhuman so they're probably pretty accepting…ah well. It's fun to mix up commonly accepted genders! Beware the fluff…
The flying pink cat hovered above the water, watching the lightning legendary plunge in with a happy roar. Suicune, furious as she had just cleaned the water, sneezed at them and raced off to some other polluted place, angry feet spending up mounds of dirt behind her. That her hard work was being wasted by a dirty dog and cat was just distracting enough that she didn't notice, not even when one of the rocks kicked up hit a bidoof in the face. Somewhere in the distance, pokémon game players cheered at the pain of the annoying creature which, let's face it, nobody really likes.
"Come in the water," Raikou said, raising a playful paw to bat at the tail dangling above her. She giggled hard when she managed to catch it and Mew squealed, racing up and just out of the reach of her prying paws. "Aw, play with me…please?"
"I don't wanna," Mew argued, trail thrashing about him. "I wanted to go and find some trainers to freak out, but you just wanna swim. You don't get the joy of freaking out trainers! You just go right in front of their face, and when they reach for their pokeball you zoom away! It's so funny, Raikou. You're fast enough to do it! Come try!"
The thunder cat walked out of the water, shaking the droplets across the grass and smirked. "You know, Mew, if I didn't know you any better, I might have said the kitty's afraid to go in the water. The kitty can't possibly be scared of that." She dropped into a dog-like play crouch, tail wagging like an excited puppy. "But then again, I've never seen the kitty cat in a pool. I've never seen the kitty cat get his fur wet."
"I'm not scared!" Mew argued. His tail flashed between his legs and he hugged it like a security blanket. His little frame began to quiver as he tried to remember exactly how high Raikou could jump. From what he could remember, it was awfully high, but getting tackled into the dust while running around the country side was one thing. Getting tossed into that disgusting, evil, nasty water below was another. "You better not try anything! I'll tell Arceus!"
"I'm not afraid of Arceus!" Raikou snorted.
Mew's eyes widened and he forgot all about his fear, racing close to her face. "Really? Like, really, really? You're not afraid?"
"Just like you're not afraid of water," she returned, and jumped forward.
Mew barely had time to think, and acted on instinct when mighty paws clasped around his tiny torso and short, warm fur was suffocating. He, oxygen deprived as he was, managed to summon up enough psychic power to teleport himself high above the water, dodging the splash Raikou created as she continued her bound forward and right into the water. She disappeared under, staying that way for quite some time, and Mew began to pray she hadn't died. After all, Arceus would be quite displeased.
But, no, the crafty beast had swum down to the bottom of the lake, and pushed off the bottom, swimming and surging to the top, just high enough to clap paws around the tail, then yelp when he slid right out of her hands and she toppled back into the water, sinking beneath the waves before immediately bounding up and doggy paddling around below, smiling up and wondering if there was some way to drag the cat down.
"Mew!" she sang. "I've got a secret to tell you!"
"Shut up! You do not!" Mew cried. He began to swoop over the top of the water, far away from Raikou to be sure, but kept a careful eye on the other Legendary as he lowered himself over the middle, lapping up the water as quickly as he could. After all that excitement, breathing ragged and hot day taking its toll, he needed a refreshing drink. The water was cool and sweet thanks to Suicune, and he almost squealed with joy at how nice it was.
"I can't believe you're scared of a little water. It's not like you're a ground type or anything. It doesn't hurt, you baby. You can't even die! First of all, you can teleport away, and secondly…I'm pretty sure we just can't die." She wrinkled her nose and dared to tread a little closer.
"Still water," he mumbled. "I hate water, and you can't change it. It's icky and wet and nasty and you're the only one who likes it, because you're icky and wet and nasty too. You know what else? I don't want to play with you. You're mean. I've heard of what you say to the other Legendaries. It's not nice. You don't play pranks. You hurt people on the inside which is a lot worse than on the inside, because you only need one surgery, but it's a life time of therapy!"
"Mmm, therapy. You'd have to dress up like a human for that. Doesn't having all that psychic energy around you feel weird."
"No."
"Oh, duh!" She snorted and began to laugh, a heavy, belly laugh that she needed to haul her heavy, water logged self out of the water so she wouldn't drown. She rolled on the grass drying in the sun with her paws in the air. "Mew, you're pretty cool. You're not as cool as I am, but you're pretty awesome. I need to hang out with you more often. You make me laugh all the time. Though, sometimes, I don't think I'm supposed to be laughing. You ever have one of those times?"
He zoomed over to her, pouting. "No, because I have a heart, unlike you. I know when things are funny and when they're plain jerkish. With you, they're always jerkish."
Raikou leaned up with a smile and caught Mew's tail gently between her teeth, yanking him down and pinning him down with a mighty paw. As there was no water around, Mew pouted and let it go, happy that she wasn't trying to toss him in the water for now, and on red alert in case she tried. She was wet, and he wasn't a fan of that, but the grass was nice and so was the sun. It was a nice day, he supposed.
"You are afraid of water, kitty."
"You're afraid of vacuums," he shot back.
She pressed with the paw that pinned him with heavy irritation. "Why are you afraid of water?"
"Dunno," he shrugged. "I'm not afraid, really. I'm just not a fan. It's all icky and wet and it hurts people, just like you, remember?"
She smiled proudly and removed her paw, nuzzling him instead. "That's a lie too! You can't hate it for those reasons. I'm icky and I'm wet and I hurt people on the inside and outside, but you like me lots. You like me so much that you even came out to a lake to hang out with me. It's not pity either, because you know that I don't care that none of the other Legendaries like me because I'm loud and rude and burp in people's faces."
"I guess," he said slowly. Then, he teleported just above her and waved his tail above her head. "Catch me if you can!"
She dove into the water, and Mew zoomed around up top, tempting her with his gorgeous tail, but still very careful to keep from getting wet. He still hated water, hated it with a burning passion, but he could tolerate it for her sake.