Post ep 4x10, "It's A Wonderful Lie"
He didn't believe in fate, but what else would have brought him to her in one of the only times she really needed someone who knew what she was going through?
House didn't know exactly where he was going. He'd been driving around aimlessly after the Christmas pageant with no intention of going back to his apartment. He didn't want to admit it, but after last year's Christmas, of which he could only remember lying in a pool of his own vomit, he wanted something more to happen this year.
He glanced at the new watch Kutner had given him. Nine pm. It wasn't too late he reasoned. He pulled his car into the parking lot of the jogging park and opened the door to a blast of cold but refreshing air.
He walked along the path, the road lit up by the many Christmas lights that had been strung around the overhanging trees. He could hear music and the warm sounds of happy people somewhere nearby; a party was going on.
House drew his coat tighter around his neck and continued along the path, his feet automatically taking him towards his favourite bench. A few meters away, he suddenly stopped. There was somebody already sitting there. Alone.
Cursing under his breath, House made to turn away, but turned around again when he heard a stifled sob. It sounded familiar. Much too familiar. Not sure what he was doing, House moved towards the figure and cleared his throat when he was right behind her.
"God…House!" Cuddy jumped up from the bench, trying and failing to hastily wipe the tears from her eyes. "What do you think you're doing!" It was more of an exclamation than a question.
Caught by surprise by the sudden volume of her voice and the tears in her eyes, House said the first thing that came into his mind. "Sorry."
Cuddy look of anger lessened slightly into disbelief and she raised her eyebrows at him. House found the action much less intimidating when there were still tears sparkling on her face. Cuddy saw him looking at them and brushed her hand angrily across her face once more before lowering herself back onto the bench.
An awkward moment of silence passed by. House shifted slightly.
"What are you doing here?" Cuddy's voice was harsh and she didn't make eye contact with him, choosing instead to look across the park.
House cleared his throat again. He wasn't exactly sure what to do. He could handle an angry Cuddy but the sudden sadness that he saw in her was unfamiliar to him and that made him feel uncomfortable. He decided to take a risk and sat down on the bench beside her.
He took it as a good omen when she didn't move away.
"I was just in the area and thought I'd go for a jog. Got a bit held up by this though."
He held up his cane.
Silence.
"I didn't see you at the Christmas party," he tried again.
"I left early." she said abruptly, finally turning to face him.
He tried not to notice the redness of her eyes, but found it impossible. She held his gaze steadily, almost daring him to ask what was wrong. He said nothing even though his mind screamed at him to ask her.
Sighing, Cuddy stood up. "Where are you going?" he asked, surprised.
"I came her to think about some things, House," she said softly. "I don't think you're going to help very much."
She turned to leave but House's arm shot out of its own accord and clutched her arm gently. Surprised, she looked down at his hand on her elbow and tried to ignore the sudden warmth spreading from his fingers, through her coat and up her arm.
"Try me," he said. "It's Christmas after all."
"Since when has that ever meant anything to you?" she asked, but House was glad, and slightly surprised when she sat down next to him again.
"You know me…always trying to spread the good cheer."
Cuddy smiled, though it didn't really reach her eyes, which were still dim and misty.
House's voice softened. "Cuddy?"
She looked at him and was taken aback by the look on his face. For once it wasn't a leer or a smirk. It was a simple look of concern and that was the only thing it took to make the tears start pouring from her eyes again.
Feeling awkward, House did the only thing he could. He put his arms around her and pulled her closer to him. She leaned her head against his chest and cried and cried, letting out all the emotions she had been feeling.
House knew what was going through her mind. Knew she was crying over yet another year that was coming to an end without her having a baby. Knew that she felt useless. Knew that she was slowly losing hope and House knew that hope was all she had.
He lost track of time as they sat there, Cuddy leaning on him. One of his hands was holding hers. Her fingers were as cold as ice and he rubbed her hand with his, trying to warm them up, the other still around her as she wept into his jacket.
He didn't believe in fate, but what else would have brought him to her in one of the only times she really needed someone who knew what she was going through?
House felt her shaking against him and thought for a moment that he had never held something so delicate. So fragile. He ran his hand up and down her coat arm, trying to reassure her.
He didn't say anything, waiting patiently for her to stop and her tears slowly subsided. She was quiet for a while and yet he stayed still. He didn't even stir when he felt the cold start to bite at his leg. Looking down, he saw her pressed against him, her eyes closed, breathing deeply. Her hand was still in his. He squeezed it gently just to remind her that he was still there and couldn't ignore the sudden feeling in his stomach when she squeezed back.
Cuddy opened her eyes and he put his fingers under her chin, gently tilting her head upwards so he could look into her face.
"Feeling better?" he asked quietly.
Cuddy nodded, feeling the touch of his fingers on her and wondering how the roughness against her face could feel so right.
He removed his hand from her face, suddenly making it seem much colder than before. She suddenly realised that his other arm was still encircled around her waist, his hand resting on her side, and felt the pressure welcome. He was holding her so carefully. It had been a long time since someone had held her like this.
"You look frozen," he said as he touched one of her cheeks, his voice still soft.
"I'm alright," she whispered, the hoarseness of her voice strange to his ears.
She reached up to his hand and took it gently, enveloping it in both of hers.
"Thank you," she said, almost inaudibly, her eyes never leaving his.
He nodded and hesitated before bending down and kissing her on the cheek. The warmth of his lips on her skin shocked her and he let them linger there for a while more than necessary. The hand on her waist pulled her closer to him, the other still entwined in hers.
He saw a lone tear leak from one of her eyes and followed its path down her cheek before he brushed it away, his hand so gentle, it couldn't have been more than the passing wind.
Cuddy smiled. The first real smile he had seen from her this night. "What was that for?" Her face was just inches away from his and by some sudden force she found herself not waiting for an answer, instead leaning into his body and kissing him gently, full on the lips.
Her lips were soft and he deepened the kiss almost immediately, hearing her make a stifled noise at the back of her throat. She wrapped one of her arms around his neck and pushed herself impossibly closer.
Neither of them wanted it to end but eventually Cuddy pulled away, feeling the both of them almost sliding off the bench. She leaned against his chest again, and could feel his heart beat, steady and strong as she wrapped her hands around his waist, feeling his warmth spread through her body. She glanced up at his face and saw him staring at her. He smiled at her, his hand squeezing her waist as leaned his forehead against hers.
"For the exact same reason that was for."