Sigh. I'm really sorry about not updating. I was on vacation almost all of June and while I was there I was working on oneshots for the Loliver post-a-thon and finishing Stranded Lovers. Anyway, here it is. Yeah.

Chapter 13

The dizziness was taking over, it seemed. The room was spinning. The faces of the people around me seemed to blur together. This whole thing was crazy. It was official; I had gone insane.

My vision slowly became clearer and I realized that I was leaning completely against Dumbo's body. He was keeping me from hitting the ground without even realizing it.

"Darn everything." I mumbled to myself.

I peered over at Oliver. He continued to talk to his date Abby, but I sensed he was still annoyed that I had kissed Dumbo. I smiled evilly. I still felt like making him suffer. He deserved it, I thought. I knew that a lot of what happened was my fault too, but I didn't care. I was hurting and it didn't seem fair that I couldn't have a good time and he could.

The music seemed to be getting louder. I could feel my eyes hurting and the pain working its way to the rest of my head. My stomach continued to knot up and I bit my lip.

"Um, I'll be right back." I choked out, running across the room. I pushed past people and tried my hardest not to trip in my heels. I found the nearest bathroom and darted inside before slamming the door behind me and locking it.

I put my back up against the door and slid down to the tiled floor beneath me. The tears fell as I stared at the bright yellow shower curtain. I concentrated on the pattern and tried to calm myself. My stomach churned and I walked over on my knees to the toilet before throwing up. "What the hell is wrong with me?" I wondered aloud.

I slowly stood up and realized that I was shaking uncontrollably. I turned on the faucet and cupped my hands under it, catching the water so I could wash out my mouth. I looked at myself in the mirror and felt even worse. Between my pale face, my ruffled hair and the mascara running down my cheeks, I was a mess.

I heard a bang on the door and jumped. "Lilly? Lilly, are you in there?"

Oliver.

Oh joy.

I sighed. "Maybe…" I might as well spare him the time of questioning where I was. Idiot.

"Lilly, are you crying? What's wrong?" He yelled over the music. I could hear the worry in his voice. Damn him. He wasn't supposed to care. I was mad at him.

"Lilly, let me in." He continued. "What happened? Did that jerk do something?"

"No." I grouched. "Nothing happened. I'm fine. Go away." I knew he didn't believe me. You could tell I was crying just by my voice, no matter how hard I tried to sound like everything was fine.

"If you don't open this door I'm coming in after you. This is a simple lock, Lil. I could open it with a bobby pin. And, oh look! Tons of girls with nicely-done hairdos just filled with bobby pins!"

I scowled. "Stupid, stupid, stupid…" I mumbled. He was bluffing. He couldn't open the door. It had to be more complex than that. But I was still worried. I grabbed a tissue and wiped the mascara-filled tears from my face. I scanned the bathroom for a way out. My eyes fell on the window above the toilet. My escape.

I didn't hear Oliver anymore, so I assumed he had gone off on a never-ending quest for the sacred bobby pin. I kneeled on the toilet and cracked open the window. A cool breeze poured though and chilled my bare shoulders. I was on the first floor, so I wouldn't plummet to my death, not that it didn't sound like a good idea at that particular moment.

I tour the screen out and threw it on the floor of the bathroom. It made a loud clang and left a black scar on the floor. I slowly boosted myself through and landed headfirst in a bush outside. The darn thing seemed like a curse at the time, but it probably saved me from a serious head injury. I stood up and brushed myself off, looking up from where I'd jumped. The window had been higher up than I'd estimated.

I saw a bunch of people outside, but not anywhere near me. I bolted through the yard and ran down the sidewalk in the direction of my house, just hoping that no one noticed me.

I hadn't realized how far away my house was until I had been walking for what seemed like forever without a sign of it. My feet hurt and everything else hurt even more. I had to be sick; maybe I had some serious disease and was slowly and painfully dying. If that was my fate, why did it have to drag out so long, causing me to go insane in the process?

I heard a loud crash of thunder and a few minutes later the rain began. It started out lightly sprinkling but soon turned to a heavy downpour. I dragged myself along for about five more minutes before surrendering to the pain and sogginess. I sat down on the edge of the sidewalk and sighed before burying my head in my hands and starting to cry again.

So this brings us back to where I started this story. Me, sitting on the edge of the curb, the rain pouring down, the mascara running down my face. Yeah, that was pretty much the turning point. This was just about all I could take. I didn't know how much more could possibly happen to make me feel any worse.

That stupid boy. This was all his fault. Why on earth did I have to fall in love with him? Why couldn't we just be best friends and leave it at that?

I kept crying and soon slumped over on my side. I just lied there on the sidewalk, the rain pounding on me. I turned over onto my back and looked up at the black sky. Raindrops kept falling in my eyes. I closed them, and tried to ignore everything, not that I expected it to work.

To this day I find it surprising that I didn't get kidnapped or mugged or something. I would have been so easy to take advantage of. I could barely move. But I was on one of those quiet streets, the ones where hardly anyone drives or walks by at night. I tried to sleep, and was so tired, that I almost managed.

Now I know what you're thinking… poor, little, pathetic Lilly, practically a drowned rat in the middle of all this chaos and despair. I hate people feeling sorry for me.

I heard a car coming closer. It screeched to a stop near me, and I didn't even bother trying to open my eyes. I was almost slightly relaxed and if I moved, it would ruin everything. I heard the car door open and then slam shut, followed by the sound of frantic footsteps coming closer.

"Lilly!"

Oliver.

Oh joy.

"Lilly, what happened? Are you ok? What are you doing?" He shouted, running over and kneeling beside me. I opened my eyes and looked up at him. His clothes and hair were almost completely soaked already. Drops of water dripped from his hair and into my face.

What the hell was I supposed to say? I just lied there and considered the possibilities. Oh, hey. Ya know, hanging out, lying on the sidewalk. People do it all the time. Oh, my appearance? Yeah, I got mauled by a bear. You see those trees wayover there? Yeah, he went that way. No bears in these parts? Oh, well he must have been some guy in that gorilla costume you wore last Halloween. I'd follow him if I were you. Who knows how many other pedestrians he could attack before sunrise?

"Lilly, answer me!" He continued. He propped me up and laid my head in his lap. He touched my face with his hand and it sent shivers down my spine. "You're not dying, are you?"

Idiot. Crazy, idiot that I adore for no darn reason except everything.

"So, did you ever find a bobby pin?" I finally asked. My voice sounded raspy and I didn't realize until then how dry my throat was.

"Yeah, yeah I did. Lilly, why did you crawl out that window? And what happened to you? You look horrible."

You look horrible. Not exactly what I imagined my Prince Charming to say. I took a deep breath and tried to relax once more.

"I think I'm sick." I said, which wasn't even a lie.

"Well, why on earth didn't you come tell me? I would have helped you get home!" He didn't wait for me to answer. He just stood up and pulled me up with him. He guided me to his car and I sat down inside.

The immediate silence was strange, going from constant rain to almost total peace. I could just barely hear it pelting against the car. He quickly walked around and hopped in the driver's seat.

"Lilly I swear, you do the craziest things…" He said, turning on the windshield wipers. "I can't believe you sometimes. When I drove up and saw you lying there, I thought someone had gone and killed you. Seatbelt."

I sighed. I had to tell him. This, whatever it was, couldn't go on. I buckled my seatbelt and leaned back against the seat. My ailments showed no pity and continued to make me miserable. My stomachache got worse every time he came near me. My head pounded with the rhythm of the rain on the roof. I couldn't stand this. I really did have to tell him, not this minute or anything, but very soon. I would like very much to live to at least twenty, if that's possible. It's not like I'm not off to a good start.

He handed me a tissue. "Here, you've got makeup running down your face."

I took it and wiped my face before sighing miserably.

"Why did you dress like that anyway?" He asked, not taking his eyes off the dark road only lit by his headlights. "I can barely recognize you."

I didn't answer. I didn't know what to say. Hell, I never knew what to say. He didn't ask again. He must have figured that I didn't want to tell him, which was true. We pulled into my driveway and he got out. My heart pounded as he walked around the car and opened my door. I took his hand and he brought me to the front door where I was greeted by my very frantic mother who, let's be honest, was a nervous wreck.

"Lilly, what on earth happened?" She exclaimed, almost making me wish I hadn't come home.

I started to speak, but Oliver cut me off. "Lilly felt really sick so we left early. I parked too far away and we had to walk in the rain. Then she fell down."

Mom sighed. "So you got sick from the rain?"

"No, Mom." I said in a rough whisper. "I think I've been sick for awhile."

"Then why on earth didn't you say so?" She shrieked. I sighed. Why did everyone feel the need to yell at me and ask 'why on earth' I did something? Things were hard enough as it was.

"Well, I'm taking you to the doctor." She declared, running to get her purse.

"Mom… no…" I croaked.

"Nonsense, Lilly. If you felt sick and you still went out tonight, and then got drenched in the pouring rain, you need to go to the doctor."

"But it's almost one in the morning!" I yelled, before launching into a coughing fit. That really put her over the edge. There was no getting out of going now.

I went up to my room and took a shower. The steam soothed me for a brief time and I sighed, telling myself that everything was going to be ok. How did everything get so screwed up? When I got out of the shower, I threw up again. Things just kept getting better and better.

The three of us grabbed umbrellas and we drove down to the emergency room. My mom commanded me to wrap up in a blanket the whole time. The silence in the car was nerve-wracking. I felt horrible. On top of the pain of my stomach and head and everything else, I was horribly embarrassed. Oliver wasn't supposed to see me like this. How could I have allowed this to happen?

"Mom, this isn't an emergency! What are we doing here?" I exclaimed in my hoarse tone.

"Lilly, I'm not waiting until morning to take you, all right? We're going now. Now stop straining your voice."

I rolled my eyes and kept telling myself that things could be worse. Oliver didn't say anything. He just kept looking at me. He wouldn't stop staring. It's like he thought if he didn't watch me, I would shrivel up, fall apart and die on the sidewalk in the rain.

"Come in." I rasped from my spot on the plastic, green cot.

Oliver opened the door and his head appeared. "How are you feeling?"

"I've been better. Where's my mom?"

"Talking to the doctor. My parents are out in the waiting room. Your mom called them 'cause she thought I was out in the rain as long as you. I'm fine, obviously. Lilly, why did you have to go running off?"

"Oliver, I don't want to talk about it, ok?"

"Just like you didn't want to talk about the other party either. Lil, talking always makes you feel better."

I groaned. My head wouldn't stop pounding. Would the darn aspirin just kick in already? Oliver sat down in a chair and fiddled with a cabinet door. He opened and shut it over and over. Bang…bang…bang… Then he started tapping his foot on the floor. Tap…tap…tap…bang…tap…bang…tap…bang…ta-

"Would you shut up?" I yelled, hurting my voice. "Sheesh, you're killing me here."

"Sorry…" He mumbled, looking at the ground. His hair fell in his eyes, and he looked utterly worried about me. Damn him. He's supposed to give me a reason to hate his guts. I had to stop loving him or I'd have to tell him the truth.

I practiced possible scenarios in my head. Oliver, I'm deeply, madly in love with you! I long for you to rush to my side and pledge your devotion to me forever!

Yeah… that'll happen.

Mom walked in. She looked stressed, but not like she was going to have a heart attack or anything. Good sign. She sat down in a chair next to Oliver and began.

"Lilly, the doctor said that you caught some sort of bug the other day and that's why you were feeling so sick. And then tonight, going out in the rain without a jacket for I don't know how long, made it worse. But he also said that…certain things going on in teen's lives, that stress them out, cause them to get…well, depressed. And that sometimes when you feel bad on the inside, you can actually cause yourself to get physical ailments."

I couldn't believe this. She was asking me if I was depressed… and in front of Oliver, of all people! Stupid diagnosis. They didn't know what they were talking about.

"Mom, I'm fine." I said, sitting up. "I'm just sick, ok?"

She nodded and dropped the subject, even though I could tell she didn't want to. Maybe it was because Oliver was there. I slowly stood up and said I desperately wanted to leave this 'evil, unforgiving place that is the ER.'

Falling asleep was difficult that night. It was nice to be warm and dry after all that had happened, but it wasn't enough to make me feel better. I still felt sick. I didn't feel like throwing up anymore, but my stomach still hurt. I couldn't tell if I was still really sick or just nervous from Oliver. Mom gave me some stupid medicine to take and it helped a little. It made me tired, but my mind just wouldn't rest. It kept racing with thoughts of everything that had happened that day. Normally I'd stare at the clock for hours, but considering it's untimely death, I had to rely on my phone.

I noticed that Miley had called several times in the last couple of days. I'd been having brief conversations with her every once in a while for the last month and a half. I'd never really say much though. I mostly just listened to her tell her exciting stories about the tour and meeting celebrities. Just an occasional 'uh-huh' was enough for her. I really needed to call her back, not that I felt like it lately.

Oliver was taking over my brain and I couldn't stand it. How could he? After all the time we'd been friends, he just had to get inside my head and torture me to death. It'd been his plan from the beginning, to befriend me and then make me fall in love with him. Then, he'd kill me without having to lift a finger. I'd merely fall apart just from not being able to tell him how much I cared about him!

The way my mind works at 3 am.

Was I depressed? I mean, really, what are the symptoms? Could it be that my hate of change could be causing me to feel horrible about it happening all around me? Could it be that I believed Oliver could never love me as anything more than a friend and I felt I had to change myself to make him care? Could it be that I'm silently crying out for help and no one's answering?

Nah.

I turned over and beat my fist into my pillow before finally falling asleep. The whole time I slept, I could hear the little voices telling me to confess.

Tell him, Lilly… You know you want to…

"Shut up!" I screamed in my sleep several times. At least, that's what my mom says. She came rushing to my side at least twice that night. I wanted so badly to tell her everything, but I just couldn't. The rain stopped the second time she rushed to my room.

It was about five in the morning when I heard something near my window. I would have turned over to look, but I couldn't make myself budge. I heard fumbling around the garbage in my room and then I sensed him.

I was half asleep but I smiled immensely before wiping it from my face. What was he doing here? I was just starting to feel a little better. It was strange how I could feel such different things when he was around. Part of me wanted him to get lost and part of me wanted him to never leave me as long as I lived. Damn him. How dare he have the power to control me?

"Lilly…" He whispered, making his way through the death trap. I stirred and my heart jumped. I was completely awake by that time. I felt the covers go up and before I knew it, he was lying in my bed with me. Damn him, playing with my emotions like that. Who did he think he was, anyway?

I forced myself to turn over and face him. I wasn't sure of what exactly to say. When I saw his face, all the feelings came rushing back and this time they brought friends. My stomach tossed. "W-what are you doing here?" I whispered.

He sighed and laid his head on my pillow. How dare he taint my pillow with his incredible hair? My pillowcase was now contaminated with his scent. Damn him.

"I think we need to talk about some things…" He started, turning over on his back again. It seemed like he found it hard to talk when he was looking at me.

"Like what?" I asked, biting my lip. I wasn't ready for this. I was supposed to have one night without having to see him again.

"Well… everything. I mean, are you mad at me?"

Was I mad at him? Hell, yeah. But yet, I wasn't. Can you hate someone and love him to death at the same time? I couldn't think of what to say. He sighed and ground his teeth.

"I guess that's a 'yes', huh?" He asked glancing over at me.

"Not necessarily…" I said on the spur of the moment. What exactly did I want him to think?

"Well, then what's wrong? You've been acting really strange lately…" He looked at the wall and fiddled with his hands. "'Cause you know if you were… depressed or something, that you could always talk to me about it…"

I couldn't believe this. Why did people have to put a label on everything? Depression. What a stupid, stupid word.

"Oliver, I'm fine." I assured him. "Everything is just great."

"Lilly, you know I'm not that stupid as to believe you're doing great right now."

I scowled and crossed my arms. It was quiet for a minute.

"You don't like those girls from the party at all, do you?" He finally asked.

Duh. "No." I said quietly.

"But you still felt like you wanted to fit in with them for one night, so you dressed just like them, didn't you?"

The nerve of him. "Maybe." I mumbled.

"And when you saw me there with Abby, it bothered you?"

Is it that obvious? "Yeah, I don't like her."

"And when she kissed me, it annoyed you… so you went off and kissed that guy to drive me crazy…"

Perhaps. "Don't flatter yourself."

"And then, you couldn't take all the chaos anymore, so you ran to the bathroom to get away from it all…"

Maybe he's not such an idiot.

"And when I found out you were in there, you crawled out the window and landed in that bush outside where you hit your head and became delusional…."

Idiot.

"You had it right, up to that point…" I muttered, rolling my eyes. "I did not become delusional. I merely felt like walking home… in the rain."

"And where does collapsing on the sidewalk fit into all this…?" He asked raising his eyebrows.

I groaned. "Oliver, I'm tired. It's hours before I'd normally get up, and I'm sick. Do you think maybe this once you could cut me a break?"

He heaved a sigh. "I just want to talk. Is that so much to ask?"

I paused for a minute as I swallowed and licked my lips. "Why… why did you go to the party with 'Abby'?"

"I don't know… I just thought it was kind of cool to meet a girl who actually liked me."

"Girls like you." I choked out, my heart beating faster.

"Eh, not really…" He said, his eyes glancing around the room. He was so oblivious.

"…Why'd you kiss her?" I asked quietly.

He sighed. "I don't know. I kind of liked her… but not really. She's too perky, annoying, and snobby for me."

I let a small smile escape my lips. He turned to me and I quickly hid it. "So… so you're never going to see her again?"

"Nah."

"Don't you think she's pretty?" My head pounded.

"Sure. But she's not my type. Besides, I can barely see her face through all that makeup anyway…"

I grabbed my fuzzy, blue pillow and held it to my chest protectively.

"So…" He continued. "What was up with you can that one guy?"

"Oh, you mean Dumbo?" I asked. I actually called him Dumbo that time. After all that had happened, there was no way I could remember his name.

"Dumbo?" He asked chuckling.

"Sure. And nothing happened. Kissing him was the pits."

He shook his head and laughed. "You're crazy, you know that?"

I bit my lip and looked at the ceiling. Maybe I was crazy. My stomach continued to ache. Why wouldn't it? He was lying with me in my bed for Pete's sake. Really, is there no boundary line?

"I liked the birthday stuff…" He said quietly, looking at his hands.

"What?" I asked, not paying much attention.

"You know, the stuff you gave me. The cake and the presents… and everything. I'm really sorry we didn't get to have our fun."

How dare he make me feel guilty… without even realizing he was doing it! I knew I had been too hasty running out on him on his birthday. It wasn't his fault his brother threw that stupid party.

"It's ok…" I said. "It wasn't your fault anyway… and I should have stayed, or at least brought you to my house… or something…"

"Nah, it doesn't matter. Besides, you asked me not to talk about it."

"It wasn't right of me to not talk about your birthday." I said quietly. "We should… still celebrate."

"Really?" He smiled faintly. "It doesn't matter, you know. I don't need a big fuss."

"We'll at least do something…" I whispered. My voice was starting to hurt again from talking so much.

"Thanks." He said. "Just wait till your birthday next month…" He grinned evilly. "I'm going to get you up at six."

"Not if I have anything to do with it…" I mumbled, turning over on my back.

"You know…" He said, laughing slightly. "When you were lying on the sidewalk, you had a bunch of twigs in your hair from that bush. And they were sticking up everywhere."

I rolled my eyes. "How did you know there was a bush there anyway? It was too dark to see. That's why I fell in it…"

He snickered. "I crawled out the window too."

I sighed. "Figures."

"So, are we good?" He asked turning over to face me again. I couldn't read his expression. His eyes seemed distant like he was deep in thought.

"Yeah." I whispered. "Everything's fine." And everything was fine, at least with our friendship. My heart was pounding out of my chest. Was it ever going to end? I had to tell him, but not right now. I was literally begging for a little longer to collect my thoughts. I wasn't ready. Didn't anyone care? Tell him, Lilly… You know you want to…

"Shut up!" I yelled before covering my mouth.

"What…? What did I say?" Oliver asked, looking confused.

"Nothing. Get down. I think my mom's coming…"

I heard her footsteps coming closer. "Lilly, are you alright? You're yelling in your sleep again…"

I pushed Oliver off my bed and he crawled underneath it, barely making it in time. After all, he had to kick all sorts of junk out of the way first.

"Yeah Mom. Everything is just great. Go back to bed…" I said sitting up. I tried to look like I had just woken up less than a minute ago. I pretended to yawn and waved goodbye even though she didn't appear to be leaving.

She came in and sat on the edge of my bed. It sunk down even more than it was with me lying on it. I could just imagine poor Oliver getting squished underneath. I smiled. I hoped he was silently begging for mercy.

"Lilly, you know that if you ever need to talk about anything, I'm here…" She said, laying her hand on top of mine. "And… you'd tell me if something was bothering you, right?"

"Yeah Mom. Stop worrying about me. Everything's fine."

"You keep telling me that. Why do I find it hard to believe?"

"Because life is trying to run us all over." I said smiling softly. "Everything is going to be fine. Everything's great actually."

She smiled vaguely and sighed. She patted my hand before standing up and walking back to her room.

A few moments later, Oliver appeared once more, a sock and something sticky stuck in his hair. He ripped them out as I shook my head and sighed. I lied back down facing away from him.

He flipped the covers back up and got in again. My heart practically beat out of my chest. I thought he was leaving. Maybe he was trying to make me go insane. He lied down and nestled up closer to me than he had before. He enclosed his arms around me from behind and set his chin on my shoulder. I could hear him breathing in my ear. What caused the sudden desire to come so close? He was playing games with me. He had to be. Here I was, ready to have a heart attack and he's playing games.

"What are you doing?" I whispered.

"I just… miss you." He said warily. Damn him.

I gulped and tried my hardest not to let him know how nervous he was making me. I had to force myself not to start trembling.

He took a deep breath and it pounded in my ear. His cheek brushed against mine and I could hear his heart beating rapidly.

"Goodnight, Lilly." He whispered in my ear before jumping up and disappearing out the window and down the drainpipe.

I paused for a moment and tried to figure out what had just happened. Just what was he trying to pull here? I rolled over on my back again and breathed heavily as I stared up at the ceiling. Damn him.

Yeah... review please.

-Andi