Disclaimer: The Lilo and Stich universe is owned and created by Walt Disney company. The Fullmetal Alchemist and co was created by Hiromu Arakawa and co-owned by Funimation et all partners-in-crime.

A/N: In order to read this fic, you must have seen the Disney movie Lilo and Stich. This strange crossover started when Evil Little Dog of Livejournal let Alphonse Elric watch Disney. ELD: I dedicate this to you (possibly the 1st fic author I was ever obsessed with, poor dear) this monster is all your fault! Oh, and after this chapter, our favorite Hawaiians won't be making much of an appearance. Also, this takes place after the FMA movie: Conquerer of Shambala, but I don't think there will be any spoilers for those who haven't seen it yet. Enjoy the madness!

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Among the palm trees in a cozy little hammock Lilo's big sister Nani battled the heat wave as best she could in this so called tropical paradise. At the moment, it felt like she had been tossed into a volcano and had landed straight into Hell. Unable to bear it anymore, she abandoned her less then perfect oasis in search of their resident evil genius. It was high time he fixed the air conditioning and she needed it now dammit. The disgruntled native found the alien hard at work on yet another project in the garage. Nani messaged her temples attempting to ward off the germinating migraine that usually crept up on her whenever Jumba was up to something. It was almost like a sixth sense.

"What are you up to now?" she demanded.

Jumba didn't even stop working. After a year on this planet he had a pretty good idea how to handle the elder sibling. They didn't call him a genius for nothing. "Oh, this? Is just new invention. Nothing for you to worry about."

"What does it do?" the teenager groaned knowing the answer would only increase her headache. Sometimes she swore she had a penchant for stress.

Jumba grinned ear to ear always eager for an audience. "Oh, so glad you ask. This machine when complete, will be able to send anyone to any time or place they wish in whole universe! We could see many, many planets and be back before dinner time."

"Oh no. I don't think so. Why are you wasting precious time that could be spent fixing the air-conditioning system you said was fail proof?" Nani huffed. A machine like that could only cause chaos, and the scientist's old habits had yet to die hard. Evil always reared it's ugly head.

"My dear, if this project is successful, I can support you and little girl. You'll never have to work another day in your life," the alien beamed knowing he had convinced her to leave him alone.

Nani sighed. A fortune would be nice. Besides, even if the AC couldn't be fixed (like they could afford a real handyman) she could always cool off at the beach. The possibility of finding David already there changed her mind. "Fine, just don't make a mess or blow anything up. I've got enough bills around here without having to get a new garage."

"Ah, thank you my dear. I shall never forget you when I am big star."

Nani rolled her eyes spotting her classic short board on the racks and gingerly lifted it by the rails(1) as she imagined the perfect sets she could catch on North Shore's Pipe Line(2). Her daydream was interrupted as Pleakley's whinney voice reached her ears. Next thing she knew, Stich had raced in and attached himself to her leg snarling at his pursuer.

"Come back here you little monster!" Pleakley demanded skidding into the little garage with a severe lack of grace. He sported a pink dress speckled with white polka dots. Nani winced unable to believe that hideous dress had once been hers. "What's going on now? Is a little peace too much to ask for? More importantly, why are you in disguise when there's no one else here?" She couldn't help but wonder why the slender alien took his feminine role so seriously. It was frightening really.

Pleakley attempted to dart behind the girl's legs and grab his opponent. "Somebody decided to mow the lawn all by himself!" He jabbed a finger towards the offender, scowling.

"Oh good 626, learning to use human devices all on your own like that. You make me very proud," Jumba congratulated his prized experiment.

"That's not the point! He totally destroyed my orchids! I was gonna enter them in the Little Miss. Wahine's(3) Garden Devision of the summer festival next month! They were beautiful!" he whined.

The surfer girl leaned against the short board letting the fiber glass(4) cool her blazing skin. Why did these things always end up being her problem? She could already hear the laughing of the gulls, the crashing waves, and her boyfriend calling her name. "Settle down already, she pleaded sliding her sister's 'dog' off her slender legs. "Why don't you two just replant? There are plenty of contests to enter in during the summer. No worries."

"No worries?!?!? I was gonna win! He cried as Stich nuzzled his big sister and stuck his tongue out at Pleakley. "Urgh!" Pleakely shrieked advancing on the little blue fuzzball. "I can't stand you anymore!" Stich back paddled ready for a fight but failed to register the soccer ball laying just behind him in the hap-hazard garage. He tumbled over and sent the toy flying right into Jumba's work area. It managed to smash several random controls and produced a beam of spectacular blue light and devoured it's direct target-namely Stich until he had completely vanished. The trio was left gaping at the phenomenon's aftermath.

"What did you do?!!?" she gasped nearly dropping the surf board. The cross dressing alien stood motionless with shock.

Jumba celebrated leaping with joy, "Muwahahahaha! It works!"

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Notes:

rails: the sides of a surfboard. A rounded edge is called soft-- a square is called hard.

Pipeline: an area of surfing designated for more advanced surfers.

Wahine: Hawaiian word for girl-usually refers to surfers.

fiber glass: extremely tiny fibers of glass commonly used in the building of surfboards.

I hope this cheers up my cyber buddies who are plagued with the flue and/or frozen to death like the rest of the country. Stay healthy and warm. Peace out!