Welcome to the kill Sakura entry! Lol, I hope you enjoy my...er... randomness. Some of your names may be mentioned. So...keep one eye open Saku haters! I haven't written fanfiction in such a long time. Careful of frequent change in scenes. Usually they're separated by a line.
Naruto looked out his window and into the streets of Konoha. "Ahhh, another wonderful morning. Wait... it's too nice out today." he said looking around. "Something's wrong, I just know it. Is there a fire? Flood? Dattebayo... can it possibly be this nice out?"
"DOBE!! STOP TALKING ABOUT THE WEATHER!!!"
Ah...the Uchiha ...is awake.
On the other side of Konoha, at the front gates...
"Ok Tobi, now leader said we can't let you in any more if you can't do something evil." Deidara said looking around quickly. Tobi nodded. "Hai! Deidara-senpai, what do I need to do?" he asked sweetly. Deidara threw a burlap sack at him. "Here fill this with stolen valuable items. You know designer handbags, money, jewelry...stuff like that un."
Tobi blinked under his lollipop mask. "Steal? From who?" The blonde whacked Tobi over the head with a bag of explosive clay. "Anyone you idiot, and if you see the Kyuubi...take him with you and bring him here." he demanded before turning away.
"I'll be back at noon...tobi un"
Sakura was styling her hair, the time read 7:00 a.m.. Still enough time to perfect herself for Sasuke-kun. Regardless of his overnight training sessions, and private missions to hotels with Naruto. Cause... come on ...they're guys. (Ha! Wrong again flamingo breath!)
"Sakura-chan? Shouldn't you be getting to training? Remember we set our clocks ahead an hour!" he mother called. Sakura looked at the clock . What the hell? 8:00 a.m.!!! Crap! She was gonna be late. (...just don't show up..please)
She threw one more glance at herself in the mirror. "Today, I will win Sasuke- kun's heart. Shanaro!" she shouted, before stampeding out of her house.
Tobi walked around the town, looking at all the people on their way to work. It was kind of silly, really. Here he is in a Akatsuki cloak...and yet no one says "Hey? Isn't he an Akatsuki"
"Ahhh. Rob someone? I can't do that. Tobi's a good boy, not a criminal. But it's for Deidara-senpai!" Now, let's see if I can find someone to rob. But not someone nice looking." he muttered looking around for victims.
Who's on Tobi's hit list?
"Ah!! Such a beautiful morning! And I got to the store before all the other man whores!" Sai said proudly, putting his body glitter and other...Sai stuff into his new man whore bag. "And I still have $200 left. Not bad!"
He walked down the street, which was relatively quiet. He paused as a voice sounded from around the corner. "Sasuke-kun! Sasuke- kun! Where are you!" Sakura came bolting around the corner. Sai held out his hand.
"Halt...unidentified flying flamingo"
"Get outta the way! Sai!!!" she said, tackling Sai's's outstretched hand, right before bouncing back onto her fat ass. "What do you think your doing Sai?! Jeeze, your so annoying"
Sai frowned, dusting the strands of pink hair off his bag. 'Oh...I just got this. No, pink does not coordinate." Sakura stood up, pointing accusingly. 'What's so wrong with pink!!!" Sai shrugged, and pointed to Sakura's hair. "Well for starters, you look like I could sell you at a carnival."
Sai looked in his bag, with a smirk on his face. 'I'd say, by your features, 50 cents to kick your butt. And I wouldn't give you 10 of the profits." he said, pulling out his shimmer eye shadow.
"OH," he gasped, opening his compact. "You smudged my eyeshadow." Sakura stood up with a pissy look on her face. "Your so annoying Sai! Besides, I wouldn't be caught dead in your man whore make up"
Sai diverted his attention from his compact to Sakura. 'So sure of it? It's your make up." he laughed, watching Sakura turn green.
"If your done ruining my appearance, I need to question Naruto's masculinity. Don't live to long ok." he said strolling past her.
Side Note: You know what just happened. I didn't think it was possible, but Sai just owned Sakura.
Tobi opened a book Sasori leant him. How to mug someone- By Sasori.
"Ok! The first rule is to identify your target. Then follow them until they are alone, and then ambush them. I can do that!" he said proudly. He was currently sitting in an alleyway, and waiting for someone to walk by.
That's when he heard a voice from down the block.
"If your done ruining my appearance, I need to question Naruto's masculinity. Don't live to long ok."
He waited until the figure reached the alley, then rushed out, holding a raw fish in one hand.
"Gimme the purse lady!"
Sai reeled back at the sight of Tobi trying to wretch the bag away. "Help! Help! Thief!"
Tobi grabbed the bag, and ran down the block to bump into another good target.
"Dude, gimme your man bag!" he demanded, waving the fish at Sakura.
"But I'm a girl!"
Tobi pulled the bag out of Sakura's grasp. 'I don't give a doo-doo at your transi ways, just gimme the money!"
Sakura yelped and watched Tobi run off with her money.
Current time 12:00 p.m (noon)
The Akatsuki awaited Tobi's arrival.
"Senpai! I got the goods, and a bucket!" Tobi said, showing the stuff to Deidara. Itachi pulled out Sai's money. "Woah, what a rich man whore. Who's he dancing for?" he pondered, pocketing the cash.
Hidan searched Sakura's bag. "What's this? A list of romantic things to win Sasuke's heart? This is pathetic." Itachi and Kisame started laughing. Kisame batted his eyelashes mockingly "Oh Sasuke, be my love!"
Itachi spiked his hair and put on a icy expression. "Go away, I like the boy who holds the Kyuubi. Cause he's frisky and I can uke him easy." he said, moving his hips back and forth. Kisame laughed heartily. "Haha, you can totally tell that from his appearance. He tries to hard."
Kakuzu looked at the list of actions. "This is pathetic. Look at this:
#14: Confess love over cup of tea and sweets"
Deidara sighed. "Sasori- danna was always romantic. He always won me over."
Itachi stopped laughing and diverted his attention to Deidara. "Oi, the phrase 'Hush my filthy little meat puppet' isn't exactly romantic." he said sternly.
Deidara clenched his fists. "Neither is 'You can sit on my lap, baby' but Blue-chan always parks her ass on top of leader-sama"
Sasuke sat on the balcony of his room, reading the latest issue of "Anti-Sakura monthly"
Emitting a little laugh, he turned the page merrily. Naruto joined him and rested his head on Sasuke's shoulder.
"Ooh, new issue. What's new in TK's corner?"
"What do you think? Brittany Spears was wearing a pink wig and she went crazy. TK changed her name to Revy, though."
Naruto giggled, looking at one of aznfangurl's posts. You know what's funny? She has a new picture of you as her icon every month." Sasuke nodded. "Yeah, well they're all a lot better than dun-get-the-dobe-started. She's to scared to leave the safety of the Anti- Sakura forum"
Naruto pouted. "Poor dobe."
Sasuke flipped throught the pages wearily. "Oh look! Team Azori is back! I miss them..." he said, with the little emotion he had. Naruto tilted his head. "Team...Azori?" Sasuke nodded. "Yeah, a while back Sasori-puppet#04 and Azn decided to team up."
Naruto smiled. "Is this getting too OC? We need to get back to reality here." Sasuke looked up. 'Oh! Right!" he exclaimed, chucking the magazine onto his night stand. "Let's go push Sakura off a bridge or something..."
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Ok! Chapter one complete! Woah, I love making authors notes like this, they keep me up to date...TT