Disclaimer: The plot idea belongs to me, but sadly, Naruto and Sasuke are not mine
Pairing: SasuNaru
Summary: "Um, mister?" the boy asked shyly "Why are your hands in his pants?"
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Mr. Potato Head: How come you do not have a laser, Woody?
Woody: It's not a laser. It's a little light bulb that blinks.
Hamm: What's wrong with him?
Mr. Potato Head: Laser envy.
- Toy Story -
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Sasuke cringed when Naruto squealed at all the toys lined up in front of him and sped off to indulge himself with those various fluffy and childish things; tch, typical Naruto for you.
He himself would scowl every time Naruto brought one of those things that had caught his attention and stuffed straight into his face before putting them aside and skipping off to pick another one, a more horrible one if he might add.
Sasuke frowned at the green thing in Naruto's arms, a frog it seemed, and concluded that his lover's taste in toys was the same as his choice of clothing. In other words beyond horrible and tasteless. Moreover, he would not risk of ending on the wrong of side of Sakura – they had to choose a present for her son's birthday party – and all because of Naruto's ineptitude choice.
No, he will not let that happen.
Picking up a toy was the same as picking up a weapon for one of their missions. Choose the wrong one and suffer the consequences of it. Moreover, he really, really – he cringed at that thought again – did not want to deal with Sakura or her wailing child for that mater.
No, fucking way.
"Naruto" he growled, finally gaining some of the undivided attention from the blond "put that thing away and find something more suitable instead of wasting our time here"
"Bastard" Naruto gritted his teeth, his face flushed with anger "Instead of complaining you could help, you know"
"Hn"
What could a ten-year boy want for his birthday? He did not interact with that annoying brat and had no idea about his interests or what toys were popular among them and fell into the category of 'must have'. Besides, the whole thing was starting to get him a headache and Naruto's bending or stretching to reach some of the toys didn't help his neither regions at all.
Sasuke sneaked up to Naruto from behind and snaking his arms around his waist pulled the other male flush against his chest in attempt to emphasize what other problems did he have beyond the amount of toys he had to choose from.
As expected, Naruto detached himself from the said bastard, spun him around and punched him square into the face because of the immature and inappropriate behavior in the place that was full of young and innocent children, forgetting the fact that he himself resorted to violence in front of a bunch of said innocent children with their mothers in tow.
Sasuke bit the inside of his cheek from blurting out that for a fact Kakashi had done more indecent things with Iruka and in more inappropriate places non the less. He made a mental note to consult with that pervert later on.
"What about this one?"
He narrowed his eyes inspecting the box wrapped in the transparent wrapper before snatching it away for the further investigation.
A video game full of fighting, killing, blood and with some fucking unidentified creatures thrown in the mix "No"
"What?" Naruto seemed shocked as if he had anticipated to win this and crossed his arms in the defensive manner "Kids love this kind of stuff, especially boys!"
"No"
Naruto felt like banging his head into the hard surface. Really, that bastard had no idea about what kids these days desired the most "So, how about some armor or ninja stuff?"
"No"
"Action figurines?"
Sasuke though for a moment, really thought before answering "No"
Naruto threw his hands in to the air "To hell with it!"
"Watch your mouth, moron"
"Ass-"Naruto winced at the glare he received from one of the fuming mothers who dragged her daughter as far away as possible from him and not forgetting 'If I fucking see you here one more time ruining children's eardrums with obscenities, you'll regret by opening that filthy mouths of yours' kind of glare. Gees, talk about indecency, he thought scratching his neck nervously.
"A plushy?" asked Naruto ignoring the visible amusement lingering on Sasuke's face from the previous incident.
Sasuke stared.
"Um, you know one of those anime or game related ones" a glare "of its main character or animal?"
"No"
"You know what? I don't care anymore"
He picked up a plushy that resembled one of the characters he had seen drawn on the anime or game or was it on the poster in the kids' room and he hoped that this would do. Besides, the price was not that expensive "I'm buying this one" and before Sasuke could open his mouth, obviously to say something negative against it, he stalked off to the cashier to pay for it.
Note to self, Sasuke and toys do not get along, no matter how cute and innocent they might be.
Sasuke was not mad. No. He was pissed. That idiot had the decency to doubt his ability to distinguish worthless toy from somewhat a decent one. He glared at anyone that appeared in his field of vision and blatantly ignored every Naruto's attempt to strike up the conversation or to ease his rage.
Naruto sighted running a hand through his hair, stared at the bag with the warped present in it, and cursed that asshole for being so difficult when it was not necessary. Leave it to the bastard to make things more complicated than they already were.
"Hey" Naruto broke the silence by stopping in his tracks to stare with awe at the playground in front of him. "These look the same we used to play in!" he exclaimed in his bubbly and energetic way, that even Sasuke with his pissed off look had no other way than to look at the direction the blond was pointing at.
"Hn"
Indeed, these houses looked rather similar to ones they would visit in their childhood times. These houses were made of logs and were like the smaller versions of the real houses except that they were with limited space, had cutaway windows and doors, had a rooftop, wooden floor and two benches installed inside.
"Can we go inside in one of those?" Naruto bounced up and down, his eyes impossibly wide and cheeks flushed with excitement.
Who was he to say no to this side of Naruto? "Fine by me"
"Woohoo"
Unnoticeable smile appeared on Sasuke's face as he fallowed his lover. When they were younger this sort of house would look so huge in his eyes, but now it was hard not to bump your head into the hard surface of the rooftop and you had to walk all the way till one of the benches and it was hard when Naruto bumped into something with every step he took.
Now that they finally sat down he took the chance too look around when Naruto cursed and nursed his abused head.
He could sit straight, there still was some space left between his head and the rooftop, and when he stretched his legs, they reached more than half of the space. It appeared that the design have been done specially for parents who wanted to play with their children inside; although a more weighting parent might be stuck in it, he mused.
"Do you remember those times when you would hide in one of those from your fangirls?"
He snorted at that. Of course that he remembered, they were annoying as hell and would pester him no matter what he did to shoo them away.
"And you would drag me here with you" a snicker from Sasuke" because according to your logic if you had to suffer then I might as well suffer along with you"
"Hn" Yeah, those were fun times even though he will not admit it if he was ever asked. "And if I recall correctly, you seemed to enjoy it"
Naruto's face flushed while his lips were set into adorable pout "Humph" and his head tiled upwards. He looked rather cute in Sasuke's opinion.
Sasuke lowered himself down on the ground with a bag placed on the ground for him to sit on – he grimaced at the dirt around him – before urging Naruto to join him on his lap of course.
Naruto complied just for the sake of comfort, he would choose Sasuke's lap than any kind of hard surface any day, but not before complaining about the ruing of the bag that was for the present to carry; from fear that it might be damaged the present was safely put aside by Naruto.
"That's rather comfy," stated Sasuke placing his hands on Naruto's hips while he busied himself with his neck.
"Sasuke, stop it"
"Why?"
"Some of the kids might see us"
Sasuke wanted to say 'screw those brats, I'm horny' but refined from doing so for the sake of ruining his chance of being intimate with Naruto. "Relax" he licked Naruto's jaw line "there's no one in here" a suck on the throat "you saw for yourself that this place is deserted" a hard thrust upwards and bite to the earlobe.
"Ah"
"That's more like it" he smirked at the aroused blond who snaked his arms around his neck to get more friction between their bodies and Sasuke didn't waste his chance to undo the buttons of Naruto's jeans.
Fuck, this felt so good.
Sasuke's tongue slid down from Naruto's ear to his exposed collarbone as Sasuke slipped one of his hands into Naruto's boxers gripping his already fully erect member.
Naruto arched his back when he felt Sasuke's hand stroking his cock and let out a delicious moan when the other hand began abusing his nipple "Ngh...Sas'ke"
Moreover, when Sasuke was about lean and kiss Naruto, his eyes widened and he stilled all of his movements.
To say that Naruto was frustrated was beyond comprehension, he was beyond mad now. He looked up to glare at Sasuke and give him a piece of his mind, but when he saw Sasuke all serious and all, he turned his head to see what Sasuke was looking at and was shocked too see a child, about ten years old or maybe younger, standing in the doorway with evident curiosity written on his face. "Umm...hi?" he managed to squeak out before burying his head into the Sasuke's crook of neck.
That was so utterly embarrassing and humiliating that he even did not have the guts to face the child. And that bastard was smirking, he could tell, and boy will he kick hiss ass once this was over.
"Um, mister?" the boy asked shyly "Why are your hands in his pants?"
Naruto almost choked on his saliva and mentally cursed the boy's observant skills and his great eyesight. Boy's around his age all should be blind from the time they spend on their computers or video games. It was not fair, wailed Naruto.
"Did he steal something from you?"
Sasuke's smirk widened, if that was possible, before answering "Why yes, he did" The boys eyes widened as he clasped and unclasped his hands, dying to know what will happen next "You see" Sasuke leaned a little bit forward "I want my candy cane back"
"Oh"
Sasuke winced when he felt Naruto bite hard on his shoulder with a silent 'take that you bastard', but apparently, that went unnoticed by the kid.
"Here" Sasuke tossed the neatly wrapped present for the sake of his eardrums, which he was sure, will be horribly suffering later on "take this and forget about what have you seen here. Do we have a deal?"
After inspecting the packet, the boy dumbly nodded and with a final confused glance aimed at Naruto, he disappeared.
"Let go of me"
"Hey, it's not that bad as it seems" Sasuke tried to reassure.
"I SAID LET GO OF ME"
"Fine"
When Naruto straightened his clothes, shouted all the curses he had remembered and punched Sasuke a few times - which were hard to do when he was in full concentration – and wasted a lot of breath and strength by doing so, he still wanted to punch him and to wipe that damned smirk of his face for good.
That fucker did not look like he was sorry at all.
"I already said that I'm sorry"
"No you're not"
"Hn"
The nerve of that bastard. "Besides, who deals with children like that?"
"Like what?"
"You bribed him!"
"You're right. Next time I should demonstrate him visually"
"I fucking hate you"
"Hn"
- - - - - - - - - -
"Look! Look what I received for free!" shouted a boy running down the hill were his friends were playing.
"Wow"
"Can I play with it too?"
"How did you get it?"
"I want one too!"
He stopped to catch his breath, clutching the plushy to his chest "See those two" he pointed at the boys fighting not far away from them, on top of the hill "The one that looks like an idiot and the other like a mean duck?"
Five small heads nodded vigorously with shinning eyes "I caught them doing something wrong" the group of children gasped with disbelief.
"Well, I think they were doing something bad" he scratched his cheek, clutching his plushy more firmly to his chest "because that taller one said that the other had stole some candy canes and... and...he wanted to get them back which were hidden in the other pants"
He took a sharp intake of breath, before continuing his story, "and to keep other out of trouble" he extended his plushy for all to see "he gave me this! So if you're lucky enough you might catch them again and receive some presents!" he announced happily bouncing up and down.
"Oh!" they all exclaimed enthusiastically.
- - - - - - - - - -
Naruto sneezed loudly and swore that tomorrow he will buy that video game that bastard had flatly refused to consider as a present while Sasuke in turn groaned at the prospect of spending another day in the toyshop with Naruto. And no, he absolutely had no intentions of damaging Sakura's son's eyesight and it didn't have any relation to today's incident; definitely not.