Standard Disclaimer Applies

It was a Friday morning at the office, we had had a distraction last night and everyone was in a pretty good mood

It was a Friday morning at the office, there had been a distraction last night and everyone was in a pretty good mood. Well that is except the boss.

Thursday Evening

Stephanie was just finishing up the last minute touches to her make up when her door was jimmied open.

"You know it wouldn't kill you knock."

"Babe."

"I'll be ready in a minute."

Steph made him wait ten.

"Okay all set to go."

Ranger's eye darkened when Steph stepped out of the bathroom. She had on a barely there skirt with a shirt that showed a lot of cleavage.

"We have a few minutes longer." Ranger said before he had her up against the wall kissing her.

Her hands were traveling up his stomach as his made their way up the back of her thighs. At the rate they were going they weren't going to make it to the bar tonight.

"Hey break it up." Ranger and Steph jumped apart. Morelli stood just inside the doorway with Tank behind him.

"Boss we have to get going, Lester called the skip is in the bar."

Ranger nodded in Tank's direction and the big man left.

"Steph you ready?"

"Let me fix my lipstick and I'll be down."

Ranger left the apartment but stayed in the hallway.

"Cupcake, what was that?"

"That was our pre-distraction ritual Joe."

"Jesus. You did that while we were together too I take it?"

"Joe, we aren't together anymore."

"I know Steph. I was coming by to see if you wanted to watch the game tonight but I guess you got to work."

"Sorry Joe."

"You think Ranger would let me come watch?"

"Watch what?"

"You work?"

"Why would you want to do that?"

"Well now that we are just friends I probably won't have the urge to punch some guy that is pawing you. "

"That isn't an answer Joe, why would you want to come watch?"

"I just wanted to see what he makes you do once you get… I guess you could call what you're wearing dressed."

"If you're going to be like that then no you can't come."

"Come on Cupcake."

"I never got to go to a crime scene with you and watch you work."

"Steph most of the scenes I was called to you were already there."

She couldn't argue with that.

"You'd have to ask Ranger, Joe."

Joe nodded and left the apartment. Steph followed grabbing her bag and locking her door.

Joe and Ranger were standing in the hallway discussing whether Joe should be able to go or not.

"You can't get in the way."

"I swear it." Joe held up his hand.

Ranger nodded and walked towards the stairs.

"I'm not taking the stairs." Steph called after him.

Ranger looked back at her, then down until he got to her shoes. Four inches of heel.

He turned and pressed the elevator button.

"Steph you have him twisted around your finger." Morelli commented.

"Sssh, Joe don't let him know it."

Ranger glared at her, but she just smiled at him until he stopped.

Joe stood there shaking his head.

When they got out to the car Tank was in the driver's seat. Ranger opened the back door for Steph and then went around to the other side and got in the back with her. Joe stood still not knowing if he should get in with them or if he should take his own car.

"Morelli you coming?" Tank boomed.

"Yeah, yeah." Joe got in, buckling up.

Ranger told Steph what the skip, Lance Adale, looked liked and that he was seated at the bar. After that they sat in an eerie silence.

Tank found a parking space right in front.

"You too!" Steph said from the back seat.

Tank turned and looked at her. Ranger had a smile on his face, which was the equivalent of his laugh.

"Steph what are you talking about?" Morelli wanted to know.

"He got a space right in front, it's like a Rangemen thing."

Morelli turned and looked at her disbelievingly. "I'll be inside."

Morelli went off in the direction of the bar, and Tank handed Ranger the mic. Ranger took it and looked at Tank expectantly waiting for him to get out of the truck.

But he didn't.

Steph didn't move to take the mic away from him, waiting for him to put it on her while Tank is sitting there. Ranger let out a sigh and slid his hand up under her shirt to place the mic. He didn't stop to fondle anything or take any side trips.

Steph could see Tank shoulders shaking; she knew that he was laughing at Ranger.

"All right, go get 'em Tiger." Ranger kissed her lightly and let Steph get out of the truck.

As Steph was leaving the truck she heard the smacking noise of Ranger hitting Tank on the back of the head. "You ass."

She didn't get to hear Tank's reply.

She made it in to the bar with out any difficulty, but she did get stopped twice on the way to the bar. Both guys were drunk off their asses and couldn't walk in a straight line.

She made it to the bar where Bobby was tending.

Bobby nodded in the direction of the skip. She walked over and sat in the vacant seat next to him. She sat there sipping a drink that Bobby placed in front of her. In the mirror behind the bar she saw Ranger walk in.

"Oh My God!" The skip next to her proclaimed.

"What is it?" She tried to get his attention.

"Did you see that man that just walked in?"

"What?" She saw Bobby juggle glasses and Ranger hesitated as he crossed the room.

"He is HOT!!" Steph couldn't help but stare; this rough and dirty man was gay.

She couldn't stay there any longer she was going to lose it. She picked up her drink, got up and looked around. She saw Lester standing agape near the pool table and Joe sitting at a table near the back, clueless. She headed towards Joe.

Joe looked at her surprised.

"What are you doing?"

"He wasn't interested."

"What?"

"He's gay."

"So now what?"

"Now we get to watch Ranger bring him in."

Joe sputtered his drink all over the table. "You serious?"

"Very."

They both turned to watch, Lester was no longer even trying to act interested in pool and Bobby wasn't paying a whole lot of attention to his customers anymore. All of them had their eyes glued to Ranger, waiting to see him go for it. She even saw Tank and Woody peer in from their posts outside.

You could visibly see Ranger prepare himself before going over to the skip.

Steph talked down into her cleavage. "Next time I want an ear piece, I wish I could hear Ranger flirt with a guy."

Ranger obviously heard her because he stopped to glare at her on his way by her to get to the bar.

Ranger sat down on the stool that Steph had been sitting in and started talking to Bobby.

"Beer, please."

Bobby plunked one down in front of him, his eyes still glued to him.

Ranger gulped down half his beer, then turned towards the skip. He opened his mouth to talk and nothing came out.

"Uh-oh Joe, he is going to blow it."

Joe sat there shaking his head. "Does this happen a lot?"

"Nope, this is the first time I get to see Ranger in action, usually they go for Lester."

"Why?" Joe nodded.

Steph's head whipped around at him. "What do you mean by that?"

"Not like that Steph."

"Un-huh. They usually go for Lester because Ranger hides out in the parking lot waiting to nab them."

"So he's scared?"

"Maybe. It doesn't look like he is doing too well now."

Ranger sat at the bar listening to Steph and Joe talk about him. He gritted his teeth, looked at the skip and tried again.

"Hey."

The skip looked at him. "Yeah." Even from where Tank and Woody were standing in the doorway they knew he had just batted his lashes at Ranger.

"Could you pass the peanuts?" Through his mic he could hear his guys.

"Oh come on Ranger you have to do better than that. Ask him to dance." Lester egged him on.

"Yeah Rangeman," Tank chimed in, "You can do the bump and grind together."

Ranger could hear his men openly laughing at him. He grabbed a handful of peanuts and threw them in his mouth. When he looked back he saw that the skip was watching his every move.

"So…" Ranger tried again but he could think of nothing.

The skip leaned towards Ranger and he instinctively put his hand behind his back to where he gun was. When he did his hand brushed fabric, he turned around in his chair to see Steph and Joe sitting there. Steph gave him a Cheshire cat grin and smiled.

When Ranger turned back around the skip started talking to him.

"You're in the closet aren't you?"

"What?"

"It's okay when its time its time. Though I don't think you have anything to worry about," the skip put his hand on Ranger's thigh and leaned in even closer. "Men will be all over you once you're on the market."

"Ya think?" It sounded as if Ranger wanted to come off as skeptical but it came out pissed.

"Uh-huh sounds like that wasn't what you wanted to hear, some guy told you otherwise didn't they?"

"Umm…"

"Say no more I'll show you how a guy is supposed to be treated."

From all the laughing that was coming through on his mic he wished he had just knocked the guy out and dragged his ass out of the bar. He was never going to live this down.

The skip grabbed his hand and led Ranger out of the bar hand in hand. Steph hopped off her seat dragging Joe with her.

"Come on Joe walk faster I don't want to miss any of this."

The skip had opened the door and held it so Ranger could walk through it. Ranger then whipped around, his fist striking out, catching the guy in his jaw.

Ranger stalked off leaving his men to take care of the skip.

He was pacing in front of the truck when Steph caught up with him.

"Come on Ranger, it wasn't that bad. It happens to Lester once in a while too."

"Babe, that's not helping."

Joe placed his hand on Ranger's shoulder, "Come on Manoso lighten up."

Ranger turned and glared out Joe, "If this makes it to the station…"

"You'll what?"

Tank wandered over to where Joe and Ranger were facing off. "All set to go? Bobby, Lester and Woody are taking the skip to the station. Safety in numbers I think, in case Lance wakes up."

"Yep, Tank lets go." Steph said.

Joe and Ranger continued to glare at each other.

Tank got in the driver's seat surprised to see Steph seating in the passenger's seat.

"Ranger's going to kill you for making him sit next to Morelli right now."

"He would never do that, but he might drive himself and make you seat in the back next to Joe."

If it was possible the huge black man paled. "He wouldn't do that."

"Ten says he does."

"You're on." Tank agreed.

Steph's door was opened to reveal a stunned Ranger, "Babe?"

"Ranger." She smiled at him.

"Tank let me drive." Ranger shut the door before Tank could answer. Tank in turn glared at Steph.

When Ranger opened Tank's door, "Out."

Tank got out and then into the backseat. From the backseat Tank handed Steph a ten.

"What's that for?" Morelli wanted to know from his seat besides Tank.

"Nothing." Tank grumbled.

Ranger lifted his eyebrow in Steph's direction, but she only smirked and put the bill in her purse.

Ranger dropped Joe and Steph back off at her apartment, pausing only long enough for them to get out. He then took off back in the direction of Haywood.

"His guys are in for a beating tonight." Steph commented.

"You'll let me know what shit they give him tomorrow?" Joe wanted to know.

"I thought you didn't like me working at Haywood with Ranger?"

"It has it advantages I guess." Joe walked off in the direction of his car.

"Hey Cupcake!" he called back to her.

"Yeah Joe?"

"I still want to still you in action."

"You think Ranger will ever let you go on another distraction job?"

"No probably not." Joe got into his car smiling the whole way home as he remembered the evening.

Steph got up to her apartment without a problem, there were no scary men waiting under her bed amongst the dust bunnies. Rex was busy running his marathon in his wheel and didn't bother looking at her as she crossed to her room undressing. She pulled on one of Ranger's shirt then collapsed for the night smiling as she replayed the evening through her head.

Friday
Haywood

Ranger walked onto the fifth floor and there was silence, but not the usual silence. This was a silence that screamed that everybody was up to something. Ranger walked into his office and sat down to finish up the paperwork so everyone would get paid this week. He never got to it.

He sat in his chair dumbfounded; there on his desk was a picture frame. It was gaudy and sparkly and pink. The picture was of him sitting next to the skip, as if that wasn't bad enough the skip's hand was on his thigh. Shit.

He grabbed the frame slid the picture out and tossed it. He logged onto his computer and waited for his desktop to boot up. There as the background was the same picture.

"SHIT." Ranger couldn't hold it in, that's it they were all dead. He didn't care anymore who was responsible they were all dead.

He brought up the security feeds and looked through until he found one of Steph he liked. He printed it off and stuck it in the frame.

He was going to start in on the paperwork, when the icon on his screen caught his eye. He didn't know what it was for but it looked like audio clip. He should have known better but he clicked it.

When it opened he waited for it to load, and clicked play. This is when he found out that some jokester decided to turn his speakers up as loud as they could go.

At full volume he heard:

"Men will be all over you once you're on the market."

"Ya think?"

"I'll show you how a guy is supposed to be treated."

He heard the entire floor outside of his office burst out laughing. Heads were going to roll.

We stormed out of his office. "Tank, gym."

"Oh come on man why me?" Tank complained but he followed after him anyways.

After sparing with Tank a few rounds Ranger used the showers on three to get cleaned up. When he came out of the shower his black shirt was gone, it was replaced by a pale pink polo. There was a note laying on top it stating:

For when you come out.

Ranger's fist clenched at his sides this is why he usually uses his apartment. He got dressed putting the shirt on and strode out into the gym. All movement stopped. Everyone that was using the gym had their eyes glued to Ranger's shirt.

Lester came bounding in. "Hey boss, an account called they want to meet with you this afternoon. That…" He froze finally looking up from the file he was carrying. "What is that?" He asked pointing at his shirt. "That better not be a new uniform. Cause I ain't wearing it. Hell no."

"The account?"

"What? Oh yeah, they wanted to meet with you this afternoon. You had an hour at three I wanted to know if I could go ahead and schedule them in?"

"You're my secretary today Lester?"

"Well, they dialed the main extension and Woody got it, he asked me to give you the message."

"Three is fine, which account?"

"The McLarty family."

"All right tell Tank to come too."

"Sure no problem, boss."

Ranger made his way up to the seventh floor. No one else asked about his shirt, or even met his eyes when he walked past.

In his apartment he tore the shirt off and strode into his closet. They were all gone. All of his black shirts were gone, even the ones that had been in the laundry. All he had left was another pink shirt that had the words JUICY spelled out on it white sparkles. He was going to kill them, whoever they were.

He walked over to his nightstand and pressed the speaker button for Ella.

"Hello, Ranger."

"Hi Ella, could you bring me up one of my shirts?"

There was silence from Ella's end.

"I'll bring one right away."

"Thank you, Ella."

Ranger paced in front of the door waiting for Ella. As soon as she knocked he swung it open. She stood there with his shirt folded nicely in her hands. He reached out and quickly pulled it on. He stepped outside then waited for the elevator with Ella.

"What happened to the rest of your shirts?" Ella finally asked.

"Gone."

"Do you need me to go shopping?"

"No it was a joke that was done in poor taste."

Ella nodded; she had probably expected it to happen eventually with a building full of men.

Ranger made it through the rest of his day without any more reminders of the horrific distraction.

When it came time to go to the meeting Tank knocked on the door.

"Hey, boss? You ready?"

"Meet you there."

Tank nodded and made his way to the conference room.

The meeting went as expected, the McLarty's wanted a more elaborate security system with all the bells and whistles. And of course Rangmen would help them upgrade.

Ranger made his way back to his office, stopping to see Steph first.

"Babe."

"Ranger."

He looked past her face to see that she had the same wallpaper on her desktop as he had this morning.

"What is that?"

"It's you from last night."

"I know that but why is that on your computer?"

"It's on everybody's, they were all like this when we got in today."

Ranger turned back around and went into the safety of his office.

On his desk was a file folder, probably one of his searches that he had requested. He opened it up and there was only one piece of paper in the folder. On it was:

Next time you need a pick up line here's a few:

There's some lint on your collar.

I love your smile.

I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.

I'd ask you to dance, but the kind of dancing I want to do can't be done in public.

I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away.

This is your lucky day, because I just happen to be single.

Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?

I'm feeling kind of insecure right now. Could I have a hug?

If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.

Do you find duct tape erotic?

Ranger shook his head and crumpled it up and threw it in the garbage like he had done with the picture earlier. This day felt like it was never going to end.

I wrote another story that could be considered a sequel to this one called Not My Fault.
Let me know what you think and if you have any ideas for other stuff the guys can pull on Ranger.