Chapter 10

Hermione scrubbed furiously at her skirt. As she was occupied in her task, she didn't notice that Snape had come over to investigate and was now looking over her shoulder. "Shit, shit!" she muttered under her breath.

"Miss Granger, as hard as this is to believe, I do think there is something called magic that would be able to aid you with your skirt," Snape said.

Hermione turned bright red. "Oh, um, yes..." She muttered the cleaning spell to herself and was immediately ink-free. Without warning, Snape bent over and grabbed the large book that had fallen out of Hermione's bag.

"Pleasure reading?" Snape asked, a small grin playing across his lips. He had seen the title before it had changed itself into The Behavioral Mating Patterns of Hippogriffs. He knew this type of book all too well- it was the kind of book that witches read before their honeymoons, the kind that promised all sorts of techniques to make their "man" never want to leave them. But he knew better- the only thing a girl needed to know was unconditional love, no matter the stupidity of the man was who that affection was bestowed upon.

"Yes, in fact," said Hermione. She had recovered slightly and now had a modicum of composure, enough, in fact, to imbue her answer with a touch of sass.

Snape immediately pulled back. "I do not appreciate your tone," he hissed. "You'd better watch it." Then, he moved in closer, so that only Hermione could hear, "I'm coming for you witch, and you'll be coming for me before you can say bertie bott's."

Hermione would have laughed at the ludicrosity of his statement, but her brain was too clouded by lust to think straight. "Okay," she muttered.

Snape withdrew, having stirred up all of Hermione's molecules.

--

Later that night in her room, Hermione found the courage to crack open Sinistra for some help.

Taking a deep breath, she placed her palm on the book.

Welcome! We are so glad you have decided to join us on this journey to ultimate pleasure for both you and your man.

Hermione sighed at the use of "your man." This was so cheesy as to the point of ridicule. The book, almost as if reading her mind, quickly rearranged itself.

In order for this book to be 100% effective, you must not question any of the tasks set for you or any of the advice given. If you do, you will be cheating yourself.

Hermione giggled, but then put a more serious face on for the book.

That's better. Moving on! Welcome to Tutorial #17: How to Make Him Scream. In order to successfully complete this tutorial, you must finish each task as assigned to you. After completion of the tasks, the next one will appear. Through these tasks, you will learn exactly how to make him scream-- with pleasure, that is.

Pleasing your significant other is not that difficult, but pushing them to the brink and making them scream for more can take some practice. Tonight, when you and your man are together, your first task is to focus on his reactions to your touch. It will be necessary to stimulate him physically in order to achieve the desired effect- high mast, if you will. Once there, you will continue to finish him. Note every single moment of this interaction and try to memorize exactly when he loses it.

Task #1: Pay attention.

The book stopped writing.

This was ridiculous! How was Hermione supposed to read this book if she would actually have to jump through hoops to learn from it?

She slammed the book shut in frustration. The title of the book innocently changed to "Patience & Fortitude: How to Avoid Frustration." She almost laughed, but instead, kicked the book across the room. Who wrote that damn thing anyway?