Author: Snow Tigra
Fandom: Death Note
Pairings (expected at this time, this may change): Mello/Matt, L/Light, Matt/Near, Mello/Near and possibly more
Warnings: YAOI, that should be obvious. But this is also an AU story that doesn't follow the events of Death Note. Spoilers for L's real name.
Summary: It's the house at the end of the block that's been there forever. It's the house they say the teenagers around town disappear into and never come back from. And it's the house Mello couldn't get out of his mind and finally wandered into...
Teaser
Lack of sound woke him up and old tired eyes from a mismatched body opened to look around the room. For a moment he expected the familiar in the form of a non-descript bed, grey walls and a floor carpeted in an equally nondescript color. He expected to hear sounds from the floors above, warmth emanating from the ceiling and mirrors reflecting dark images to make up for the lack of windows. What he received, instead, was complete silence from an apartment which was smartly furnished in modern sharp edged shapes and a deep burgundy carpet that buried one's toes in its softness. He could still remember how he'd spent a couple days just laying on the carpet itself, enjoying the feel of the softness under his body.
Sitting up in the bed, Lawliet stretched his body and buried his toes in that same carpet. A rare smile crossed his thin lips as he tilted his head, not used to the expression. He actually found he was enjoying the quiet from the room, the halls and the neighbors beyond the walls. For once in his life he didn't hear voices, emotions, thoughts, feelings... it was just a splendid quiet that made him feel hollow and empty but at the same time made him feel unshackled.
He felt human in the silence and it was a wonderful feeling.
Bare feet carried him from the bedroom, loose jeans and a shirt that didn't belong to him hung off his body comfortably as he wandered into the living room, his eyes sweeping over the wall mounted TV, the perfectly arranged thick leather bound volumes speaking of laws and proceedings. The leather couch was almost as comfortable as the carpet, though he preferred the carpet, he still enjoyed the sinking feeling of the cushions and how his thin body just seemed like it could disappear into the couch itself, given enough time. His long fingers passed over the fabric now and he smiled a bit again, remembering curling up against Light to just enjoy the feeling.
He loved enjoying feelings again.
His mind wandered to Light and he looked up, seeing the dim lamp light from the office across the apartment, visible through the bottom of the closed door. Lawliet walked a little faster, moving to the door and pressing it open. He knew Light stayed up late at night to read his books and work on cases for his job, but he also knew that he wouldn't mind being disturbed for just a moment. Besides, Lawliet just wanted to see him for a moment, the expression on his face, and then he'd go back to sleep. His needs and wants were very simple since he'd come here a week ago.
Opening the door revealed an equally modern and tasteful office with a real wooden desk that matched the shelves surrounding it. A pristine quality laptop sat open on the desk, it's lights blinking as it processed one thing or another. And as always, Light was sitting at the desk, pouring over a thick leather bound book, highlighter in hand and laptop positioned for quick typing when needed. Small reading glasses perched on his nose, making the words clearer and thoughts flow easier through his mind.
But something was off on this night and Lawliet didn't like how even the computer was quiet. Stepping into the room he found the screen was black and the small green button had turned to orange, showing that the computer had gone into a sleeping mode a while ago. Then there was also the troubling fact that when Lawliet entered the room, Light hadn't responded. Even if he was deep in his work, he usually stirred and gave Lawliet at least a nod of acknowledgement.
But not today.
Lawliet shifted from foot to foot and stepped closer to the desk, his toes curling tentatively in the carpet. He brushed his fingers against Light's shoulder, but still received no response.
"Yagami?" Lawliet spoke the man's last name out of habit, liking the sound of how it rolled off his tongue much better then the simple name 'Light'. He received no answer or movement.
Panic moved through his body, a new sensation he wasn't used to in any way. For the first moment he froze, shaking from the emotion, then he reacted and moved forward, grabbing onto Light's shoulder. Without a though he jerked the man back so he was no longer leaning over the desk , sending the highlighter and large book crashing to the floor with a sharp snap and thump. Light landed back in the chair, limbs flopping like a doll to land at his sides and not move.
Lawliet stared at his face, his own twisting in pain as he saw the expression there.
There was no expression. Eyes, mouth and face were completely blank, slack without any thought or emotion passing through. The normally dark brown of his eyes was faded, covered with an all too familiar grey mist and his skin was pale, dried out, as if he'd been completely drained.
Lawliet looked down at the man sadly, his own face a war of the new emotions he wasn't used to feeling on his own. For moments he remembered the smiles, the frowns and the determination that had alternately passed over that face. The very expressions he'd fallen in love with and the feelings that had passed with them. But now there was nothing, and he finally understood why the complete and utter silence in the apartment had disturbed him so completely. He had woken up to the feeling of Light dying and being drained to nothing.
And he'd done it. He was responsible.
Lawliet slipped down to the soft carpet, laying his face down in it near Light's slippered feet. Laying there he simply cried.
He cried for Light, for his own stupidity and for the fact that he knew this would happened. He knew leaving would kill him. He'd even told Light this would happen... but that didn't make the inevitable truth any easier to bear. It just made it all that more real.
Lawliet cried away all the emotions he'd ever allowed himself to feel and just let himself sink back into the familiar hollowness he'd become accustomed to. The one thing he kept, the most important thing, was Light Yagami's rare smile. The one thing the stiff seeming man had shared with him so easily. It was the single thing he allowed himself to keep as he banished all else from his mind.
Nearly a week after promising himself he'd never ever go back, Mello found himself in front of that same thick, old, oak door, opening it. He wanted to see that boy again and even with the promise he'd sworn to himself, he just couldn't help coming back.
Mello sighed softly and pressed the door open, stepping into the large house, not even giving a second thought to the world he'd just left.
And would probably never see again.