Disclaimer : I do not own Death Note or anything associated.

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.:. Number One To Me .:.

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I had never been in the top, and I didn't really mind. Being in the elite, of the elite, would have been an immense accomplishment, not bringing with it only the recognition among your peers, but also a secure future. Almost everyone at Wammy's House wanted to be the next L, and who wouldn't with all it could offer? However, the fact was, not many of us had a chance, myself included, and so our fates were left hanging in the balance.

I had been maybe...fifth or sixth in line, but to be honest, I really don't remember. Most prospects stopped caring after three, because we knew we couldn't beat that trio, and nor did the more vicious ones see the hope in over three of them dying so they could reach the top. With these facts in mind, I decided to be content with my situation as it was, honestly not knowing if I wanted to be the next great detective anyway. That's not a career you can say no to, and who'd want to be trapped like that?

Since I wasn't in the top three, I wasn't given a protective alias, along with all the others who were on the bottom of the intellect pyramid. It wasn't a particularly important subject, but every child grows excited at the prospect of mystery and hidden secrets. We all used to make up our own little code-names, half the time changing them each week just for the fun of it.

I never changed mine though. Early on, I decided on the name Ivy for myself. Outside of my small window, there was a patch of forest green ivy that always grew up the decrepit wall, spreading its thick, luscious vines over whatever surface it could reach. Every spring, Roger would hope it had been killed by the harsh, winter frosts, but it never completely crumbled. The man himself had taken whatever measures he could to remove its traces from the gritty bricks, but the plant always returned, determined to live with a will stronger than I had ever known. So I took on its name (in my childish mind), because I wanted to be like that. I wanted the courage and strength to persevere through all hardships and traumas, never letting anyone tear me away from what I desired.

My life was quiet and simple, like the other inhabitants of the orphanage. Things rarely became unsettled, and the only real excitement only blossomed when the actual L would come to visit. This wasn't a common event, and even an almost worthless mind such as I could appreciate its importance.

Everyone would crowd through the halls to see him, the younger kids pushing and shoving desperately to reach the front, often crying harshly until the older one's ears began to bleed, causing them to push the whiners forward until they hushed. Our mentor would appear without ceremony, his hands buried into his jean pockets casually with his messy black hair falling into his face. To many of us, it was the most dazzling thing we had ever seen, and when his dark eyes settled on our group we couldn't help but beam, good moods lasting for days afterward.

Nonetheless, our anticipation was nothing compared to that of another, a little blonde boy named Mello.

When L trudged down the hall, Mello was already rushing out of his room, racing down the corridors so fast it was a wonder he didn't set the wood on fire. Once he found the one he admired so greatly, he would beam at him in childish delight, staying by his side for as long as possible, and almost growling at the others who tried to see him.

This would last for a few hours maybe, depending on the day, but the inevitable always occurred. L would grace Mello with a few kind words, dismissing him somewhat bluntly before visiting the actual reason he was there; Near. Near was the top candidate for L's position, with grades and scores so high not even Mello, the second, could touch him, ever.

Mello would watch this all happen, his shining eyes dulling and growing empty as his lips twisted into an ill-suited snarl. We'd watch him stomp off angrily, thrusting his teeth into a bar of chocolate before munching his way back to his room.

As years passed, Mello lost the youthful exuberance when L came to visit, instead staying in the shadows as he watched his greatest enemy receive what he wanted more than anything, acknowledgement. Looking into Mello's eyes, anyone could see the hatred boiling inside, seething under his skin with a fury greater than anything I could ever have imagined.

This was also the time that he began only wearing black. The inky color seeped through his wardrobe like a virus, tainting everything with its smoky disease. It was probably to stand out from Near, who wore white with a zealous consistency. It was just one more way for Mello to try to stand apart.

People stayed clear of Mello when this began, doing their best to leave him to his own devices and hoping this would assist in taming his wild temper. Instead, this seemed to have the opposite effect, his looks becoming even darker when he approached and the others shied away. He took comfort in the third most intelligent, named Matt, rarely speaking to the rest of us at all.

The others were happy with this solution, easily adapting without concerning themselves. Yet, the entire thing seemed odd to me, the obsession and frustration that radiated from Mello in a poisonous aura. Then again, I was never going to be number one, and I probably couldn't understand the desperation of always failing and being second place. It made me curious, and it was obvious there was only one person who could satiate my wonderings.

"Hey Mello?" I asked, speaking up as I saw him pass by in the hall. He stopped and eyed me suspiciously, eyes narrowing into catlike slits as he curled back his lip.

"What?" he replied coldly, probably from being ignored by us lower-levels for so long. Brushing some of my honey colored hair behind my ear, I inquired,

"Why do you want to be the next L so much?"

Mello gave me a blank stare, one that was definitely questioning my sanity. The glassy look in his eyes confirmed this, the teal pools wondering if I was really that stupid.

"Because," he finally responded, looking down at me contemptuously, "he's the best there is."

I cocked my head, closing my icy blue eyes for a second in thought before opening them again.

"The best detective? The best L?" I questioned, Mello nodding shortly.

"Why would you want to be the best L, though?" I continued, watching his eyes widen. "What about just being Mello for a while?"

I didn't talk to Mello much after that, but whenever we saw each other he'd give me a bizarre sort of look. It was a weird mix of things, confusion, uncertainty, possibly even disinterest. On the other hand, it was about this time that I began growing a friendship with Matt. He was quiet, which wasn't an oddity, and he possessed an extreme obsession with all things containing either video or game. While rather impassive about everything else, he was fun to talk to occasionally, his rather quick mind easy to bounce opinions and ideas off of. The fact that I wasn't a half-bad gamer also created a nice bonding atmosphere.

Occasionally, when the two of us were shrieking over making it to the next level of something or other, I'd feel eyes pricking holes in the back of my head. Turning around, I would find Mello poking his head through the door, gnawing on his bottom lip as a substitute for chocolate. His eyes would be wary and worried, but soon enough he'd spin on his heel and stalk down the hall noisily.

I think he was always scared that I'd steal Matt away from him, just like Near had snatched L out of his needy grasp.

"You're Matt's best friend you know," I stated, having followed Mello when he fled the room. He had stopped by one of the grand windows, his body silhouetted against the harsh, summer light. Glaring at me over his shoulder, his flaxen hair swished snootily as he turned his head.

"Yeah, I know that!" he huffed indignantly, placing his hands on his hips defiantly.

"Just because you're not number one," I continued, watching him stiffen with sure agitation, "doesn't mean you're going to lose everything."

Mello turned around, digging a piece of chocolate out of his pocket and biting down on it rapidly before giving me a heated glance.

"Don't think I'm worried over stuff like that," he hissed, tilting his head in the direction of Matt's room with obviously recently conjured distain.

"Its just...not fair!" he mumbled, crunching down on his chocolate furtively and peering at me over the aluminum wrapper. "He doesn't even try, but he's still on top!"

I immediately knew who he was referring to, as most anyone would. It should have been expected; Mello's thoughts simply revolved around Near, almost unhealthy in the fixation.

"Then accept it," I sighed with a shrug, causing Mello to almost choke on his candy.

"What?" he growled, giving me the most virulent look I had ever received.

"He's number one, and you're second. Why's that so terrible?" I went on, rubbing my shoulder in discomfort. Mello stared at me for a few seconds, stepping forward furiously as I backed away, intimidated.

"Why?" he scowled, his hand shaking so much he almost dropped his chocolate. "Because second means nothing!" He glowered, clenching one hand into a fist at his side.

"Being second isn't going to make me the next L! All it'll prove is that I'll never be better than Near! He'll always beat me!"

He threw the candy bar with an angry grunt, and I flinched as it cracked against the wall, dropping to the floor with betrayed noises of discontent.

"You can't understand!" He shouted, eyes large and crazed. "I study for hours to be as smart as him, and it doesn't even make a difference! He always has the top scores, no matter how hard I work! I'm always second, always!"

He threw his hands into the air with a huff, leaning his forehead against the hot window and squinting his eyes from the sun.

"He doesn't even try..." Mello muttered, suddenly tensing and staring at me over his shoulder. Frowning, he abruptly stomped off without another word, disappearing into his room and slamming the door.

Peering down at his broken and neglected chocolate bar, I knelt down to its level and picked up the pieces.

"You're...number one to me, Mello."

It wasn't long after that when the Kira case began sneaking its way into daily conversations. Opinions ran rampant, most children choosing a side and separating themselves accordingly. Those who lost parents and ended up at Wammy's due to a criminal seemed to support Kira more, where others with different experiences were all against him without question. Of course, around the adults, everyone despised Kira, especially since L was the one hunting him down.

I myself was in the gray with my view on the matter of this new god. The world may be a corrupt and foul place, but it is not one man's right to cleanse it with his own regulations and opinions. So in that manner, I knew Kira needed to be apprehended, and quickly, or else his influence would spread with contamination beyond repair. On the opposite end, the idea of freeing the world of cruel, disgusting people was a kind idea, if not with poor execution. Therefore, while some went through the house shouting Kira as blasphemy, I couldn't really blame him.

But then it happened.

The news spread through the halls like wildfire, no one knowing who had lit the match that began the chain.

L was dead.

Before the repeated statement had reached my ears, I had been sitting with Matt and Mello in Matt's slightly messy room. I enjoyed spending time with them whenever they allowed it, not just because I appreciated their company, but because they were so completely different than myself in a way I loved. While Matt and I had grown close, Mello still held that spark of animosity from the past, a fact that caused my stomach to tie into painful knots.

"I still don't see why you like those games so much Matt," Mello complained, resting his arms behind his head with a bored stance. Matt grunted, pushing some hair out of his eyes so he could see the screen without obstruction.

"One more knight and I'm on level six," he whispered onto his breath, oblivious to anything but the game held securely between his grasping hands.

"Jeez..." Mello whined, blowing some of his bangs out of his eyes for something to do. Finally letting them float back onto his face, his eyes trailed over to where I was lying on the bed and staring at the ceiling with an unfocused stare.

"Hey!" he called out to get my attention, and I flickered my eyes his way. "What are you doing?"

Yawning slightly as my eyelids drooped, I answered, "Thinking."

"About what?" Mello pressed, obviously desperate for some entertainment. Allowing my eyes to drop completely closed, I complied sleepily,

"About...chocolate."

"Chocolate?" he yelped, his attention captured as I felt the bed tumble from movement. "What about it?"

I opened my eyes into annoyed slits, searching for a real topic with a mind blanker than an erased chalkboard.

"Uh..." I trailed off, gazing up at the boy above me, completely undeserving of my fifth status.

"Why do you eat it so much?"

Mello froze, his mouth hanging open like a loose door hinge. Finally he focused on me with a small grimace, his lips twitching as if he wanted a piece at that very moment.

"Why do you want to know?" he accused, raising one eyebrow with a slight sneer.

Roger saved me from answering by bursting through the door, his face shining with a nervous sweat. Mello and I turned our heads to the door, while Matt of course stayed too engrossed in his game.

"Mello," Roger addressed him, beckoning to him with his hand. "Come with me."

Mello shared a curious glance with me before jumping off the bed and following Roger without a comment, the door closing behind the two and cutting them off from us, for what we thought was just for the moment.

"What do you think that was about?" Matt asked, flicking his thumb at the door while the next level began to load, a small green bar in the corner of the screen.

"Don't know," I grumbled, burying my head into a pillow from the head of the bed. "He'll probably tell when he gets back."

Matt nodded slowly to show he heard, but except for that there was a comfortable silence between us for around half and hour until it was shattered by the sound of heavy footsteps from the corridor.

Mello stormed through the doors, his eyes wild and his breaths coming in with sharp pants.

"L is dead!" he roared as stopped in front of us. I sat up as if electrocuted, and worst of all, Matt dropped his game.

"W-What?" Matt stuttered, his goggles falling down over his face in a lopsided manner.

"Hes dead!" Mello cried, his eyes shining with unshed tears. "Kira killed him! And they wanted me to..." He bit his lip, eyes glowing with a enmity I knew was saved specifically for Near.

"What?" Matt pressed, getting up and walking over to where Mello stood like a statue and shaking him roughly by his shoulders. "Who's the new L, Mello!"

"Near!" Mello hissed, prying Matt's hands off of him with a dirty glare as he backed away, looking at Matt as if he was a stranger.

"I'm leaving..." he revealed, looking at us with a frosty glance.

"Mello..." Matt whispered as his friend ran out the door, disappearing into his room across the hall and slamming the door with a final bang. Giving Matt a worried glance, I stepped around him and knocked on the door to Mello's room, opening it and stepping inside when I received no response.

Mello was throwing his clothes into a black duffel bag sloppily, not caring when a t-shirt landed with one sleeve still hanging out. He zipped it up with the fabric caught in the zipper, probably tearing the thread. When the door closed behind me, he didn't even lift his head, nor did he show any sign of acknowledgement as I took a few tentative steps closer.

"...Mello?" I broke the silence, but he only replied by throwing the strap of his bag over his shoulder, gripping it tightly as he pushed past me and towards the door. As he went by, my hand leaped out and grabbed his sleeve, digging into the dark cloth enough to halt him.

"Let," he ordered through clenched teeth, "go." I bowed my head, my hair falling between the two of us, making us separate.

"Where are you going?" I asked, Mello's movements ceasing what I knew was momentarily. Neither of us talked for a few moments, but he finally went on.

"I'm going to solve the Kira case myself," he spat, trying to pull his arm out of my hold, but I refused to relinquish it. "I'll prove to Near I'm better the only way I can."

"How are you going to do that?" I turned my head away, ignoring the way my throat began to close. "All alone?"

Again, he tried to wrench his arm away, but still I clung to him.

"I'll do what I need to," he finalized as he took in a deep breath. My heart began to pound, but I didn't acknowledge it as a bitter laugh seeped out of my mouth.

"It's going to kill you," I whispered, feeling Mello's eyes burning the tresses between us. "This competition."

"This competition is all I'm living for," he replied cruelly, finally ripping his shirt from my grip and moving a few steps back.

Lifting my head, I met his serious gaze, finding his face completely hidden for the first time. This wasn't Mello anymore, but someone much older, someone...changed.

"We'll...come with you," I offered, inviting myself along on a ride I wasn't really a part of. Mello gave me a calculating once-over, one hand slipping into his pocket.

"Not now," he ordered, taking out a piece of chocolate and popping it into his mouth. "You'll find me when you leave."

"Okay..." I muttered, and before I could second guess myself, I wrapped my arms around him in an embrace. It was the first time I had ever really touched him, revealed by the heat in my face and the way my arms were trembling.

For a few seconds we just stood like that, my pulse racing at an alarming rate. Finally, he lifted his free arm and wrapped it around me in response, tentatively drawing me to him before pushing me away and heading towards the door, slamming it behind him in his characteristic way.

Once the footsteps faded away, I collapsed on the floor, crying the tears I hadn't known I was holding in.

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Author's Note : I wrote this for one of my best friends, who adores Mello, and one of my other best friends gave me the courage to post it here. Please leave a review, as this is a multi-chaptered story, and I want to know if it is worth continuing.

Thanks for reading.