I AM TREVOR, HEAR ME CROAK by Eggbert
Summary - A different spin on the whole Severus/Neville thing. From Trevor the Third's POV.
Disclaimer - They're not mine, they're JKR's. Except for Trevor Mark III
Rating - PG
A/N. I wrote this to cheer myself up because it's my birthday soon. One of those that, when you were sixteen seemed ages away. Now it's here. Ouch.
Dedication - To Treemonisha who agrees that Trev's in a class of his own.
I was squabbling with my siblings over the last of the rainbow moths when the doorbell of the shop tinkled and a male in long black robes swept into the Magical Menagerie.
The younger male behind the counter looked up, smiled automatically and said,
" Can I help you, oh shit it's Professor Snape, er..."
" Don't panic, Johnstone. " said the other male icily. " I've come to buy a toad. "
In my vivarium there was a mad rush for the glass as we all tried to look worthy. Naturally I beat them all and pressed my forelegs against the glass, giving the stranger the last-cute-toad-in-the-shop look.
He peered into the vivarium and I found myself looking into a pair of cold black eyes. He stared down his long, hooked nose at me and announced.
" I'll have that one. He's perfect. "
Which is how I came to be the much-loved pet of a sweet, round-faced man with grey eyes and an infectious laugh. I think his name is "Neville" but I've heard, at various times, him called "sir", " Professor Longbottom" and, when he is with his black-haired mate who had bought me and there wasn't the chance of another living soul overhearing him, "darling."
Travels in my master's pocket made me realise that I lived in a /huge/ vivarium made of stone. It made me wonder why my master and the big-nosed one not only shared the same room but the same bed as well. Surely they could have had one each?
My master keeps me supplied with endless blowflies and moths and takes me everywhere. In a smaller vivarium he talks to smaller humans. Some have long hair and bumps in the front of their robes where he hasn't. I think they must be the females. Some of them have pet toads as well and I have made the acquaintance of several girl toads (when I can escape my master) who have admired my large, er, warts.
Which brings me to spawning. Humans, if these two are anything to go by, must spawn all the time, and in very funny positions. And they can do it out of water, which I find amazing, even if it is very noisy. And not a single egg between them. The bed creaks a lot and there are a great deal of slurpy sounds.
My master's approaching now and if a toad could sigh, I would. He's covering the glass with a cloth.
They're spawning /again/.
And a young toad on a promise needs his beauty sleep.
Still it could be worse, don't you think?
Summary - A different spin on the whole Severus/Neville thing. From Trevor the Third's POV.
Disclaimer - They're not mine, they're JKR's. Except for Trevor Mark III
Rating - PG
A/N. I wrote this to cheer myself up because it's my birthday soon. One of those that, when you were sixteen seemed ages away. Now it's here. Ouch.
Dedication - To Treemonisha who agrees that Trev's in a class of his own.
I was squabbling with my siblings over the last of the rainbow moths when the doorbell of the shop tinkled and a male in long black robes swept into the Magical Menagerie.
The younger male behind the counter looked up, smiled automatically and said,
" Can I help you, oh shit it's Professor Snape, er..."
" Don't panic, Johnstone. " said the other male icily. " I've come to buy a toad. "
In my vivarium there was a mad rush for the glass as we all tried to look worthy. Naturally I beat them all and pressed my forelegs against the glass, giving the stranger the last-cute-toad-in-the-shop look.
He peered into the vivarium and I found myself looking into a pair of cold black eyes. He stared down his long, hooked nose at me and announced.
" I'll have that one. He's perfect. "
Which is how I came to be the much-loved pet of a sweet, round-faced man with grey eyes and an infectious laugh. I think his name is "Neville" but I've heard, at various times, him called "sir", " Professor Longbottom" and, when he is with his black-haired mate who had bought me and there wasn't the chance of another living soul overhearing him, "darling."
Travels in my master's pocket made me realise that I lived in a /huge/ vivarium made of stone. It made me wonder why my master and the big-nosed one not only shared the same room but the same bed as well. Surely they could have had one each?
My master keeps me supplied with endless blowflies and moths and takes me everywhere. In a smaller vivarium he talks to smaller humans. Some have long hair and bumps in the front of their robes where he hasn't. I think they must be the females. Some of them have pet toads as well and I have made the acquaintance of several girl toads (when I can escape my master) who have admired my large, er, warts.
Which brings me to spawning. Humans, if these two are anything to go by, must spawn all the time, and in very funny positions. And they can do it out of water, which I find amazing, even if it is very noisy. And not a single egg between them. The bed creaks a lot and there are a great deal of slurpy sounds.
My master's approaching now and if a toad could sigh, I would. He's covering the glass with a cloth.
They're spawning /again/.
And a young toad on a promise needs his beauty sleep.
Still it could be worse, don't you think?