Me: Hey guys, once again sorry for the late updates! Bah! Work and then a new puppy and college is a real time killer! Anyway here's a nice extra long chapter to keep my lovely readers happy! And remember…smile…it confuses people! :)


Chapter 12

In sickness and in health.

So there we were, after our nice hot baths, slaving away in the freezing cold trying to clean the hokage faces. I was freezing my ass off in this weather! And it didn't help that my hands were slowly going numb from the freaking cold.

I slowly breathed into them to try and warm them up and keep the frost bite away before glancing at the hokage face and snickering to myself slight, grinning at one in particular that had a huge icicle formed on the nose.

"What now dobe?" Sasuke questioned as he paused in his work and glanced at me, staring at my grinning face, causing me to laugh even more before I pointed to the faces.

"Tsunade Baa-chans got a huge ass boogar!" With this I actually broke out into hysterics as Sasuke sighed and shook his head.

"Still the same…"

"What was that?" I replied as I pouted and raised my fist, causing Uchiha to smirk.

"I said you're the same immature, irresponsible, idiotic, simple minded, big mouthed loser you were when we first met!" Sasuke replied cockily, putting emphasis on every insult.

So of course I did the first thing that came to mind. I grabbed that Uchiha's scarf, pulled as hard as I could, effectively causing him to choke slightly before he fell over backwards.

"TIMBER!" I yelled out across Konoha, getting many glances from people below me as I watched Sasuke hit the metal flooring with a crash. Wow, and I thought with his so called "reactions" and with him being from the "powerful" Uchiha clan he'd at least of been able to land gracefully!…Apparently not…Hold on…Hadn't he been holding a bucket of water a moment ago?…

Looking up I grinned before falling over in a fit of hysterics as I watched the bucket come hurtling back down, throwing cold water all over Sasuke, the bucket landing on Sasuke's head with a 'thud'

"Oh dear god call Tsu-baa-chan! I cant breathe properly!" I laughed out as I actually started hyperventilating.

"U-SU-RU-TON-KA-CHI!" Ah crap…

Shit I need ammo! Dammit! What can I use? Dammit think uzumaki think!

And as I stared in horror as Sasuke pulled the bucket of and threw it to the side, standing up and looming over me intimidating, I did the first thing that came to mind…I grabbed my bucket of water and chucked it into the stunned Uchiha's face.

"Wow, this is almost as fun as going on a water ride! It's got thrill, excitement! All the best bits! Except I just don't get soaked!" I yelled gleefully as I jumped up, spun around quickly and promptly began to jump down from the monument, being careful not to slip on any ice as I looked back and saw the enraged Uchiha chasing me, reaching for his kunai's that he didn't have out of habit, causing me to smirk as he let out an aggravated growl…But damn was he fast.


And that's how it all started out, and how I had ended up standing in front of the Uchiha dominion known as hell with a steaming bowl of soup and plenty of medical supplies from Sakura and Tsunade…Apparently running about in the freezing cold when your already soaked through can lead to the flu…who knew? If I had known it was this easy to take that bastard down I would of done it sooner!

So yer, I stood there, cursing under my breath as I was ordered by the hokage to nurse the Uchiha back to health as part of my community service, I vaguely had an idea of appearing in a very short and revealing nurses outfit to really torture Sasuke, but it was like Tsunade had read my mind and forbid me from doing it!

I sighed, inhaling deeply the smell of the soup, my mouth watering slightly at the aroma…damn did it smell good! I wonder if Sasuke would mind if I just ate it?

"This is so not worth the whole water incident, if I'd known I'd have to step into hell I never would of done it…no wait…that's a lie…Seeing his face when he was splashed with water was a thing of beauty! And worth every torturous moment!…But the thought of being near that snot oozing Uchiha isn't pleasant!" I began to mumble to myself as I mulled things over, completely disregarding the fact the front door had just opened.

"Dobe…"

"And he's going to be sneezing and coughing mucus all over the place…"

"Dobe…"

"And all weak and helpless, and vulnerable…Hmm…Maybe I should tell his fangirls he's hot, sweaty and vulnerable? Ah that'd be hilarious to watch!"

"DOBE!"

"WHAT? CANT YOU SEE IM THINKING HERE? AND OH MY FREAKING GOD YOU LOOK RANK!" I yelled back as I pointed at Sasuke, taking in his appearance. Sasuke was leant against the door frame, rubbing at his temples, paler then Sai if that was even possible, with a thin sheen of sweat on him, his raven hair clinging to his flushed cheeks from sweat and his lips tinged slightly blue and he panted slightly. ..This has to be the first time I've ever seen him with cheeks that flushed…He looks kina cute- Dammit Uzumaki smack yourself for such thoughts! You're a sick sick individual Uzumaki! Kill yourself now for thinking such things!

"No, don't get me wrong, you always look rank, but today your like rotting corpse that's been left in the summer sun for over a month rank…"

I replied as I looked him up and down…He really didn't look good.

"What do you want? I've already got a headache, I don't need another one." Cheeky son of a bitch! Just for that I'm going to make his life even more miserable! There's no way I'm going to let him get away with this!

"For your information I don't want to be here! Tsunade sent me to look after you as part of my community service! I'd rather be scrapping dog crap up from the Inuzuka household then spend a day with you!" I spat out as I placed the soup down so I could place my hands on my hips, turning my head away from him as I pouted once again.

"Then just leave, I'm not exactly ecstatic about the idea of you being here so just go, I'm not about to tell anyone." Sasuke spat out irritated before a coughing fit overtook him and he clutched the door frame tightly for support, his breathing ragged as he tried to intake air between his coughs.

And although I hated the thought of being anywhere near that egotistical bastard I felt a slight pang of sympathy as I sighed, picked up the soup with one hand and looped the Uchiha's arm around my back as I helped him inside, slamming the door shut with my foot looking at Sasuke who was still coughing…I wonder if he'd suffocate?…

Shaking the thoughts out of my head I placed the soup on the side before placing my free arm around the Uchiha's waist to balance him properly before helping him to his room.

"Come on, before you only get worse and fall down dead. If that happened who would I have to spar against? Besides, Tsunade's probably sent someone to tail me to make sure I'm doing my job, it wouldn't surprise me if we walk into you room to find Ino licking your windows." I mumbled out as I heard Sasuke actually try and hide a chuckle through his coughing.

"Just remember to cough and sneeze AWAY from me."

"Baka…"

"Don't think for a second I wont drop you here and leave you to die." I growled out threateningly as I moved my hand from his waist briefly, causing him to stumble and me to smirk as he glared at me weakly.

"Don't get any ideas dobe!"

"I don't know what your talking about! It's not like I'd defile you during your sleep, or draw on your forehead in permanent marker, spit in your soup, put curry powder in your tea, cut your hair so you were bald, let all your fangirls in…Nope! I wouldn't do that! The most I'd to is stare at you while you sleep…and possible let Ino in to braid your pretty hair with lots of pink flowers…Ah you'd be so beautiful!" I replied as I faked wiping a tear away, grinning at all the ideas that were passing through my mind, eyes slanting and becoming very Cheshire like with intentions.

"Get. Out." Sasuke blankly spoke as he looked at me from the corner of his eye.

Aw poor Sasu-squirrel was actually worried I might try something! I'm glad I make him react like this…best feeling in the world in the contentment I get from riling him up!

"Aw come on Sasu-puppy you love me really!" I spoke as Sasuke sighed, jiggled the handle open on his bedroom door and paused to look at me.

"Quite the opposite, I loathe you actually. I'm guessing being in this form has caused your brain to muck up."

"Wow, I see being ill hasn't weakened your asshole abilities!" I mumbled as I guided him over to a rather plan looking white bed…did a bit of colour ever hurt?

And as I stared around the room that was darkened by thick black curtained I took note on the things in his room…or lack of.

I swear to god with how dark it was in here if Sasuke activated his sharingan he'd look like a freaking vampire!

"If I open the curtains what are the odds of you bursting into flames from direct sunlight?"

"What?" Sasuke looked at me like I was some retarded ninja, eye twitching slightly as if just waiting for the stupid comment I'd reply with..

"Well you know, with being a demon from hell and everything I thought direct sunlight might just kill you…" I replied as I pulled a thoughtful expression.

"Baka…" was his tiresome reply as he pulled himself onto his bed, falling onto his pillow and placing the back of his hand to his forehead in exasperation.

I grinned as this before pulling up a stool and sitting down upon it, placing my head in my hands and staring intently at him like one of his fangirls, I knew this was bound to irritate him slightly, and within a couple of minutes the Uchiha cracked open and eye and stared at me.

"Usurutonkachi what are you doing?"

"Silly Sasu-kitty I'm watching you sleep!…you look so peaceful…" I trailed off in a childish high pitched voice.

"Baka, as if that would irritate me. Nice try." I continued to stare at him, making my eyes glisten like most of his fangirls as he continued to stare right back, our eyes looking in a staring contest to see who'd crack first.

Go on Uchiha, have another coughing fit and die so I win!

"Baka…"

"What?" I didn't move my eyes for a second, and I moved to the edge of my seat and leant closer to try and put him off by creeping him out.

"Your about to fall of your seat." And as I leant further, effectively losing my balance, I promptly fell of my seat, breaking eye contact and hearing a 'heh' of victory from Sasuke.

"Te'me!" I growled out as I picked myself up and glared at him over the bed, beginning to smack that smirk off his face.

Him and his damn cockiness! How on earth do the girls find him attractive? I mean sure he was strong, well built and good looks, but he was a total ass at heart!

I mean I'm strong, well built, good looking and totally amazing but they don't bat an eyelid at me!

I glared at Sasuke more as I stood up and made for the door.

"Kitchen?" I questioned with a slight edge to my voice.

"Down the hall, second to the right…your being awfully helpful…"

I stared at Sasuke's vacant expression, eye twitching as my teeth gritted. Never in million years would I actually do this if I wasn't forced.

"Quite the opposite. I just want to get the hell away from you!" I growled out as I turned around, my long hair swishing behind me as I stormed out and made my way to the kitchen, grabbing the soup container as I looked at the kitchen and how clean everything was…what a neat freak he seriously needs to get out more…find a girl…restore his clan…

And that's when a thought his me, right smack bang in the face, like BAM! And I'm sure Sasuke would be able to hear the insane evil laughter coming from the kitchen…along with all the plates crashing and choruses of "bloody hell that's freaking hot! Why is it turning green? Is that fluff on the top?…eh he wont notice!"


It took me all of just over half an hour just to warm his soup up, of course I had to taste test it to make sure it wasn't poisoned, but as Sasuke stared as the half a bowl of soup and back at me, he didn't seem to understand the fact that I had to taste test it!

"Dobe…What is this?"

"Don't look at me! Tsunade-baa chan made it! It tastes fine though!" I spoke as he picked up the spoon and tentatively took a taste, blinking slightly before he took another spoonful.

"Hm, guess your right."

"I'm always right! Dattebayo!" I grinned out as I held a thumbs up for a couple of minutes until Sasuke had a good mouthful of soup and I put my plan into motion.

"So I think you should repopulate your clan with me."

And having the desired effect, Sasuke immediately began choking on his soup as I grinned, patting him on the back.

"Breath man BREATH!" I yelled out as Sasuke finally stopped choking and glared at me.

"what? It's a good idea isn't it? I mean were both powerful ninja! Think how powerful your clan would be! I mean I'm a women, you're a man, we have needs dammit! And when your close rivals like us it's natural that we'd want to do one another!" I began trailing off, inwardly cringing at the idea as I sat down on Sasuke's bed and placed a hand on his leg, smiling slightly as I continued.

"Dobe-"

"When a man and a women-"

"Dobe-"

"Share there love in a passion filled explosion!-"

"Dobe-"

"I mean with you kunai and my shuriken, if we join them-" And as I was about ready to finish my sex education story of the kunai and shuriken, it was then with lightning fast reactions, that Sasuke moved forward, the soup clattering to the ground, grabbed the back of my head and slammed his lips against mine, leaving me stunned and speechless as he pulled away.

"Finally some peace and quiet!" He exclaimed as he laid back down and sighed dramatically.

Son of a bitch did he just…No way…that's so wrong! It's a meant to be me making him cringe not the other way around!…and yet I'm not cringing…what the frick!

"We'll if you wanted some freaking quiet why didn't you just slap a hand over my mouth like you normally do you freaking frick!" I yelled out angrily as I abruptly stood up and began spitting everywhere, showing my dislike for what he just did.

"Because that way I could shock you into silence for a bit and also transfer my germs over to you, hopefully making you ill later on and ensuring me some peace and quiet in the near future. U-su-ru-ton-ka-chi…"

I'm going to fucking kill him! I'll sever his head, turn him into mince meat, make burgers out of him and feed him to his fangirls!…wow…that was kind of dark…

And as I looked at Sasuke I saw the smirk on his face, he was trying to rile me up the bastard! Ok Naruto, calm down, think of Ramen…mmm, mizo pork…

And as I breathed calmly I brushed myself down and flicked my hair, choosing for once not to let Uchiha get to me.

"yer well whatever. I better report to the Hokage. There's water over there with some aspirin." I replied calmly as I pointed to the far end of the room where I'd left the jug of water, glass and the aspirin, before walking over to the door and turning to face Sasuke.

Ah what the hell might as well leave with a bang!

"Oh and Sasuke-kun?"

"What?" He spat out.

"I Haven't finished my talk on making Uchiha babies! I look forward to our next passion filled moment! Oh what until I tell Sakura and Ino that you kissed me! Gosh there going to be so excited!"

And with that I proceeded to wink and blow Sasuke a kiss sexy jutsu style before I left.

Score another point to Uzumaki Naruto!

…And maybe just one to Sasuke…


Me: Ok guys that's it! Feedback would be much appreciated! And thanks for reading!