A/N: Ok, I did it! I finally took 10 Things to Twilight. Yay me!! So, here she goes:

10 Things the Volturi do on Their Downtime

Complete with Comments from ME! Aro!

10. Have a 'Steal Heidi's Shoes' Day, where they break into her closet and walk around in her stilettos. After 'Steal Heidi's Shoes Day' they often have a 'Fix Castle Walls Because Aro fell into Them Multiple Times Because He was Wearing Two-Inch kitten Heels Night'. Hey, that doesn't happen EVERY TIME. Sometimes I wear her ballet flats and then I don't fall as often.

9. The Volturi actually run a charity daycare center! How benevolent (look it up) of them! I do love the little human fleshbags!

8. In circumstances "completely unrelated" to number 9, they often have baby-eating contests. Felix is the reigning champ. I'm in second place. Just wait until next week, Felix! I'm gonna kick your little white baby-eating ass!

7. They like to have old-fashioned sleepovers complete with sleeping bags and girl talk! Caius braids everyone's hair while they rock out to Britney Spears. She is such a great girl. It really stinks that she's having such a tough couple of years. I keep telling Caius and Marcus that we should change her . . .she could be useful, but they won't have it. Party poopers!

6. Force Heidi to accompany an acne-prone chess club captain human boy to his junior prom for the entertainment of the rest of the Volturi. Now, THAT was interesting. Heidi was a mini-mini-mini skirt and when the poor boy came to pick her up, he went into a girl-induced coma and has yet to wake up. We felt a little bit bad about that, but don't worry. We sent him a fruit basket.

5. Since (technically) everyone in the Volturi is a senior citizen, they have a Senior Citizen Happy Hour on Tuesdays and Thursdays. They play bingo and shuffleboard and drink prune juice. Wow, we've had some pretty crazy Happy Hours. We used to have this guy Jeff who was in the guard, but he drank all the prune juice and Jane and Alec killed him. Wow. Crazy nights.

4. Seriously confuse humans down in the village. That's it? That's all the information you're going to give on that one? PATHETIC! Anyway, this one time, there were these two humans, one guy and one girl, down in the village talking to each other, and every time the guy touched the girl, Jane would send agonizing pain to the girl. The girl broke up with the guy and ran screaming "You are a monster! MONSTER!" Then we followed the guy around all day and did the same thing to everyone he touched, so eventually he decided that he wasn't fit for human company and ran screaming into the mountains, "I'M A MONSTER!" We felt a little bit bad about that too, so we sent him a 'Feel Better' teddy bear and some balloons.

3. Kidnap the cast of 'High School Musical' and force them to perform the entire movie whenever they are called to do so. That's the best entertainment there is. That Zac Efron is SOOO dreamy! He kinda reminds me of that one Mike Newton kid . . .wait a second, how do I know Mike Newton? I'M SO CONFUSED!

2. With their enhanced senses, the Volturi are quite the Guitar Heroes. That's RIGHT! I'd forgotten. I totally tricked out my wireless Guitar Hero guitar. I've got like My Chemical Romance stickers on it . . . and bleeding hearts and skulls and stuff. Oh, yeah. I'm a total badass.

1. Spy on Bella and laugh every time she falls and/or every time she and Edward have a fluffy 'I love you!' scene. I can't blame the poor girl for liking that Cullen boy. He IS quite the fox.