Something I wrote years ago. Thought I might as well post it since it was Valentines Day recently. Enjoy! Reviews and criticism are highly appreciated.
Disclaimer: One Piece belongs to Oda Eiichiro, Toei Animation and Shonen Jump Comics. Duh.
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Today is the day!
And not just any day...
But the day Nami-san will fall in love with me!!
……
hopefully…
maybe…
…most likely….
not.
But I must not give up hope! A true man wouldn't give up on his one and only true love!
Everything is prepared! The meal that will conquer all meals!
Nami-san's favorite citrus smoothie with extra grenadine, poured carefully to make a heart!
Her favorite main course grilled and sauced to perfection, petit (heart shaped) hor d'oeuvres, and the light, melt-in-your-mouth chocolate mousse for dessert.
And chocolate is an aphrodisiac…
Ahhh! Happiness! I can't wait!
"Nami-saaaaan!! Your dinner of love is ready!! May I come in?"
"The door is unlocked, Sanji-kun,"
Ahhh...Mellorine! Her voice is so heavenly!
I present my hours of hard work before her eyes.
She takes a look at it and gives the smallest of smiles.
Oh cupid! Why has thou stuck me with thy arrow with such strength? Oh treacherous, beautiful love!
"Ne, Nami-san….you know what day is it today, right?"
"..Oh. Yeah, I do."
She's so cuuuteeee!
"Well! I was just wondering…!"
Calm down, man. Relax. Be cool...confident, you sly dog you.
"Ahem, if you would like to spend valentines day with me, milady."
Here it comes! The moment of truth!
Her acceptance of me on the most romance day of the year! Aahh, my heart is burning with such passion!
"No," She takes her fork and starts eating. "….Sorry."
…………
Oh.
"Oh…I mean, that's okay!" I smile my best smile.
I'm an idiot.
A total…fucking. Idiot.
"I don't celebrate Valentines day…"
Obviously! Why would her answer be any different today?
Did I actually think that winning the heart of such perfection and loveliness would be that easy?!
That's insulting her, you bastard! I'd ought to kick your ass!
…...
"O-of course! A silly holiday like Valentines day is much too trivial and immature of a day for someone like Nami-san to celebrate!"
Yeah…only idiots like you celebrate it. Retard.
"I just think it's stupid…"
"Of course! Completely idiotic! It doesn't deserve to be celebrated by Nami-san!"
She gave me a quick glace and continued to eat her meal, her knife cutting deep into her heart shaped main course, splitting it perfectly in half.
I really hope that was just a coincidence.
"It's just a scheme for stores to make and sell products to gullible idiots who are willing to spend obscene amounts of money just to be noticed."
Better use those roses in the kitchen for a salad or something before she finds out….damn.
Gain your composure, man! Don't let her see that you're the depressed loser that you are!
"Of course, Nami-san. After all, how could you ever be mistaken?"
"And it's stupid that people choose only one day a year to do something special for those they care about. That should be done everyday; not just on Valentines."
"Of cours-"
Wait.
What?
Did she say what I thought she said?
"Ummm, pardon me?"
"It's stupid that most people only celebrate their love for one another on one profit-based holiday."
"Nami-san….that's…..that's….SO ROMANTIC!!!"
I can feel the core of my very being warm up with a love even deeper than the love that I had already felt.
Oh Nami-san! How do you keep proving that there are no limits to adoring you?!
I have to ask now. There is no better time to ask. Even if she rejects me, I'll still be swimming in love and happiness from having to love her more!
"Nami-san! Will…will you be my Valentine?!"
She gives me a look.
"Are you stupid? Did you just completely miss what I just said?"
I shake my head, smiling like a loon.
"Nope! I heard it all completely! That's why I'm asking. Because if Nami-san is my Valentine today, then that means that she'll be my Valentine everyday! All year round! And we won't have to wait until Valentines Day to be each other's Valentines and to show that we love each other! Right?"
She gives me another look.
"You're completely retarded."
Shot down.
"Oh…I was just asking. In case, you know…"
"But fine."
"….What?"
"I'll be your Valentine. Shesh."
"Re-…REALLY?!"
"Yes. As long as you shut up."
"Nami-san! Does that mean…does that mean we're…."
"Yes, it does, Sanji-kun. Didn't we go through that?"
"Nami-san!! This is the happiest day of my life!"
"Yeah. I know. So are you going to join me for dinner, or what?"
"Nami-san! Marry me!"
"No."
"That's okay! This is still the happiest day of my life!!"
"Didn't I say that I would only be your Valentine if you shut up?"
"OH! I mean…oh. Right. Sorry. But can I kiss you?"
"I suppose that's what Valentines do. Sure."
So I did. And it was indeed what Valentines do.
But not just on Valentines Day.
End.