Author's Note: Written for Sepideh in the "Divine Intervention" Secret Valentine Challenge, 2008. Thanks to htbthomas for the super-speedy beta-reading!
"So, you're actually doing it."
The words were delivered in a flat, uninflected tone but Clark could sense Lois's disappointment.
He continued to empty dresser drawers into a cardboard packing box. "Yes, Lois. I'm actually doing it."
Lois stepped around into his direct line of sight and Clark warily straightened, but avoided making eye contact.
"You're heading off to Nunavut or Namibia or wherever the hell it is on some damned fool quest that I still don't understand and you're going to break your mother's heart," Lois proclaimed with increasing heat.
Clark flinched slightly at her words, and then opened his sock drawer to start tossing those into the box as well.
"Well," Lois asked, "aren't you going to say anything?"
"What can I say, Lois?" Clark asked.
Lois huffed in exasperation, shoving her hands into the tailored pockets of her trousers. "Well, for starters you could say that I'm right and you're wrong and you're not going to leave Smallville, running off to who knows where!"
Clark lobbed another handful of socks into the box and grabbed the packing tape to start sealing the carton. The rip of tape echoed loudly in the quiet of the bedroom.
Lois put her hand down on top of the freshly-laid tape. Clark had to lift his eyes to meet her gaze and saw real concern in her eyes.
"Tell me, Clark, that you're not doing this just because things didn't work out with Lana."
He laughed, but it sounded forced and hollow, even to his own ears. "Lois, that's history. Ancient history."
Lois harrumphed as she shoved the box over on the bed and plopped down on the mattress. "Just like Ollie was for me last year, right?"
Clark shook his head as he turned back to his drawers. They were pretty well empty, now, so he could close them one by one and get ready to move on. His long-deferred promise to go and train at the Fortress couldn't be ignored any longer and some part of him was happy with that: a clean break with the past, from his impossible relationship with Lana, sounded good. "Look, Lois," Clark began, fumbling for the words to explain without giving away too much, "I realize now that Lana and I are never going to work. She's looking for something I'll never be. And I've been hiding here at the farm long enough. It's time to get on with my life."
He deliberately caught Lois's gaze. "I thought you'd be cheering me on, Lois. After all, aren't you sick of this smalltown, hick farmboy?"
Lois wrinkled her nose at the jibe. "Hey, wasn't I the one who said that I didn't need hot, rich and famous as long as I can hang out with you? And now, here you are, running out on me, too. I always thought I could count on you, Clark." Her tone was light but the gleam of tears in her eye was unmistakable.
All of a sudden, it clicked inside Clark's mind. His memory flashed back to a tearful Lois recounting why she'd broken up with Oliver Queen, sure that she would always be left behind.
Clark reached out to put a reassuring hand on Lois's shoulder. "Lois, you always can."
She jerked away from his touch. "Then why are you going away, Clark?"
"Smallville isn't enough for me anymore," Clark said, inwardly marveling at the words that spilled from his mouth; words that, a few months ago, he would never have said. But he knew now that he had to make changes. "Everyone else is growing up and moving on. You and Chloe are taking the journalism world by storm. Why can't I pursue my destiny?"
Lois snorted a bit. "Destiny, Smallville? Don't get delusions of grandeur." But she rose from the bed and strode to the window, sightlessly looking out on the rich greenery of the warm spring sunlight.
"Do you know I haven't had a date in six months?" she asked Clark.
He blinked a bit in surprise. He certainly hadn't been keeping track of all of Lois's comings and goings, he told himself inwardly, but now that she mentioned it, he had to admit that he hadn't seen her on the arm of some guy or another.
"Wondering why?" Lois asked, glancing over her shoulder briefly before turning her face back towards the window. "I've been thinking, since last year. I couldn't stay with Ollie because his destiny was so much greater than my own. And maybe I have a destiny to fulfill, too. I am a good reporter. I think I can be a great one, but I'm going to have to really work at it."
Clark nodded, stepping to join Lois at the window as she continued her explanation. "Lex used to call me a "muffin peddler" and, sad as this is to say, that was as good as things got for a while. I flunked out of high school, got thrown out of college and let's just say that I don't have the best employment history and leave it at that. But I'm good at being a journalist. I like what I do and I think I can make a difference in the world."
She let her gaze turn to his and smiled brightly. "So I thought that what I need to do is dedicate myself to my career for a while. Because, before I can feel comfortable in any relationship, I think I need to feel certain in myself."
Clark interrupted. "Lois, you're one of the strongest, most capable people I know. I think you can be in a relationship and follow your dreams. It's not too late to phone up Oliver. . . ."
Lois raised a hand, "Oliver is history, Clark. Not only have I heard that he's dating someone new, but he's doing things that aren't where I'm going. I need to base myself in Metropolis for a while and work my way up the ladder at the Planet. If I keep chasing after a guy, no matter how great, I'm never going to get where I can go."
Clark nodded in reluctant understanding. "So maybe, Lois, you can understand why I have to go away. I need to learn about things I'll never know here in Smallville" is arm flailed around to indicate not only the Kent family farm but also the sleepy countryside outside his bedroom window.
Lois shrugged her shoulders. "Then why not Metropolis? Or even Star City?"
It was Clark's turn to stare out the window. "I need to do something different Lois. I don't know if I can ever explain. There's a part of me that wants to stay in Smallville, forever, but I have to go away for a while. Maybe a very long while." He might be resigned to going to the Fortress, but Clark couldn't suppress the fear that he'd come out of his training, at some unknown point in the future, as mechanical and soulless as the computerized version of Jor-El that presided over the icy palace.
"Okay, Smallville," Lois said, breaking the spell that held him silently brooding. "I don't pretend to understand what's so important up there in the Yukon or wherever it is you're hankering to go. But let's make a deal."
Clark lifted one eyebrow in suspicion. Lois's deals were infamous for getting someone into trouble, usually himself.
She seemed to sense his uncertainty. "Have faith in me, Clark," she demanded. "We're friends, right?"
Clark nodded slowly. "Right."
"Almost brother and sister, right?"
Clark cocked his head at that. "Well, not quite, Lois."
She waved her hand dismissively. "Close enough, Clark. We're family, in a way. And we're always there for each other. So I want you to promise me something." She looked at Clark expectantly.
"What?" he asked.
"That you'll be there for me just like I'll be there for you. Even when we're thousands of miles apart, Smallville, I want to know that you'll still be there for me where it counts." Lois's hand flashed out and thumped Clark right over his sternum, "In your heart."
In spite of himself, Clark smiled. "And how exactly am I supposed to do that."
Lois smiled widely. "Promise to think of me, every day. I'll do the same for you. It'll be just like old days when I used to have your room and drive you nuts."
"I'm not sure, Lois. I'm going to be pretty busy and you are, too," Clark said doubtfully.
Lois snorted confidently. "I might be pretty busy but I doubt that whatever walkabout you're on is going to be that absorbing. And if I can make the time for this, you can, too."
Clark couldn't help but grin at Lois, strong, confident and as pushy as ever. He raised his hands in surrender. "Okay, Lois, I give. Every night before I go to sleep I'll. . . ." his voice trailed off as he tried to think what he could promise her.
Lois filled in for him, "Every night before you go to sleep you'll say 'Good night, Lois. Remember I'm there for you.' And every night before I go to sleep, I'll say the same for you."
"Oh-kay," Clark said and dutifully muttered "Ouch!" as Lois whacked him on the shoulder for his seeming reluctance.
"I need you there for me, Smallville. Don't let me down," Lois ordered and began to head for the door, bringing their heart-to-heart to an end.
"Aye-aye," Clark offered in a chipper tone. Lois whirled and glared at him. "I said never to mention that again, Mr. Nightlight," she growled.
Clark just raised his eyebrows at this and held his tongue. Satisfied, Lois raised her chin and smiled. "Have a great trip, Clark. Make sure to write your mother and not get into too much trouble while I'm not around to save the day."
As she flashed him a last brilliant look before leaving the room, Clark rocked back on his heels and grinned ruefully. He had a feeling that it wouldn't be hard to keep her in his thoughts and keep his promise to her while he fulfilled his vow to Jor-El. He heard the front door slam shut and saw Lois run out to her car. As she got to the door, she looked up to his window with a confident wave.
Clark waved back and watched her drive away before he went back to packing up the remains of his old life with a lighter heart.