A/N: Takes place in Season 3ish. Written for the second ChocFic challenge, for Feb 16. Also for Tielan, who's been asking me to write Teyla forever.
In the middle of an unremarkable forest on an unremarkable planet in the Pegasus Galaxy, sat an unremarkable village. In fact, there was only one remarkable thing to be seen for light years around, and unfortunately, that thing was now Teyla's problem.
Teyla blinked once in surprise as she stepped between two particularly tall men and found all three of her teammates sitting in the center of a ring of villagers, leaned back to back with nearly identical grins on their faces.
Pursing her lips, she decided that John would describe their expressions as "stoned."
"Yes," she said to the village chief. "I'm afraid these are my missing teammates. I hope they have not...caused you any difficulties."
"Not at all," Amalia said, with a strained smile. She looked like she wanted to say something else, and Teyla sighed to herself, making a mental note to return bearing gifts soon, or this day would mark another old friend lost. Even as she thought that, Rodney's eyes closed and he started to snore.
Dipping her head toward Amalia and the other villagers, Teyla said, "I thank you for your assistance in retrieving my friends. If I might presume, I could use some help to get them back to the ring of the Ancestors."
"Of course," Amalia said, her smile growing even more strained.
Teyla sighed again and started forward to lift John from the ground. His eyes finally focused on her. "Hey, Teyla. Guys, it's Teyla."
John jabbed Ronon and Rodney with his elbows and Rodney started awake, staring around with bleary eyes. "Wha? No, Radek, I didn't take the lass coffee."
A man hiding an amused grin tried to lift Rodney, but dropped him when Rodney flailed his arms at him.
"Rodney, stop that," Teyla said sharply.
The wounded animal look Rodney gave her was even more annoying. "Whas wrong?" he asked, the slurring even worse.
A deep breath and a quick prayer to the Ancestors steadied her voice. "Please allow this man to help you, so we may return to Atlantis."
"Oh." Rodney blinked. "Thas okay then." He let the man help him stand, wobbling the whole way. A woman caught his other arm and put it around her shoulders and he beamed at her. "Hi! 'm Rodney."
"Hello," the woman said, mouth compressed in what Teyla guessed was annoyance, not amusement.
John didn't fight as she helped him stand, but even without struggling, it took two men to lift Ronon to his feet. He didn't say anything, but gave her a soppy look over the men's heads.
"Fortunately," Amalia said, "the ring is not far."
Teyla nodded. "My thanks again for your care of them. This was not..." She ran out of words.
Amalia's expression softened. "I do understand. Take care."
"And you."
And with that, they set off through that unremarkable forest toward the Gate, her teammates stumbling happily over every small rock and branch and rodent.
"You shoulda been with us," John said, nearly bouncing his head off a tree trunk. "They had this great berry drink and Rodney thought--"
"I've heard about the drink," Teyla said, resisting the desire to help John hit his head instead of pull him back up.
"It was really good," Ronon said in a dreamy voice.
"I'm sure it was." Teyla ran through a calming meditation that Kate had taught her the week before. It did very little to improve her mood.
After that, she tuned out what they were saying, finding that it was much more relaxing to consider what Elizabeth was going to say when they arrived in Atlantis.
As Teyla so fervently hoped, Elizabeth had a great deal to say, and she was perfectly ready to say it at length when she got a look at John, Ronon, and Rodney stumbling through the Gate and landing in a heap on the gateroom floor like the rag dolls that John had made for the Athosian children last year.
However, sadly for the spectators, Elizabeth broke off after only a few moments when she realized that the three men were simply too intoxicated to follow what she was saying.
Teyla stepped back and waited, arms crossed, as Elizabeth broke off mid-sentence, face lined with frustration. "Never mind," she said, sounding weary. "I'll save it for when you have a chance of remembering."
Ronon blinked up at her. "Okay. Hey...you're pretty. I didn't notice that."
Elizabeth closed her eyes and Teyla wondered who she prayed to for patience at moments like this. "Where's Dr. Beckett?" she said when she'd opened her eyes. "I want these three checked out and detoxed."
"I'm here," Carson said, pushing between two amused Marines. "Goodness," he said as he got his first look. "They've certainly gotten well and truly pickled, haven't they?"
Teyla made a note to ask someone what pickles had to do with it. "I believe," she said, "that they are all suffering from an overdose of ratla berry juice. Fermented ratla berry juice, that is."
"Aye, pickled," Carson said, nodding sagely as he took Rodney's pulse and peered at his glazed expression. "And you'll have brought me a sample, of course."
"Of course," Teyla said, slipping off her pack so she could take out the small bottle.
Carson waved at a few lurking Marines and in a few moments had gotten Ronon, Rodney, and John onto gurneys and wheeled out of the room. As he passed, he absently took the bottle of juice. "I'll have them good as new in no time," he said.
"Thank you," she said, finally giving in to the sigh.
"I agree," Elizabeth said from behind her. "Now, if you could, I would really like to know why you're returning your team somewhat worse for wear. Not that I blame you," she said quickly. "I just need to know what to leave off the report."
Sighing again, Teyla followed Elizabeth up to her office, where she was grateful to find that Elizabeth had a new box of Darjeeling and was willing to share.
Over a cup of steaming tea, Teyla finally relaxed. "It all began when I was asked to assist in mediating a dispute with the next village. I left my team in the midst of negotiations..."
After recounting the entire sorry tale to Elizabeth, Teyla concluded that sleep would be the most useful next step, so she set an alarm to wake her in six hours, at which point she knew her team would be more coherent.
When she entered the infirmary, she found, as she expected, all three men sitting on gurneys and looking very sorry for themselves.
"Good morning," she said.
"There you are," Rodney said, waving a finger in her direction. "You abandoned us! Left us with those...alcoholic pimps! Do you have any idea how many vitally important brain cells I lost because of--"
"Rodney, chill," John said.
Rodney gave him a vicious look. "Fine."
"Now, I'm not saying that Rodney's totally wrong." John gave her that easy grin that got on her nerves at moments like this. "I mean, we coulda used a little more warning about this juice."
Ronon just put his head in his hands and growled.
Teyla stared at them. "Pardon me? Before I left, I specifically noted you should limit your intake."
"Well, yes, but--"
"Are you children, that you need your hands held?" She could hear her voice rising, but couldn't stop it. "Perhaps I should suggest to Elizabeth that you need a teacher rather than a teammate."
Everyone in the room was staring at her and Rodney's jaw had dropped.
Taking a deep breath, Teyla turned on her heel and stalked out of the room, heading toward the gym as she rehearsed every profanity she had heard from the people of Earth in her years on Atlantis. She had amassed quite a long list.
When she entered the gym, the two Marines lifting weights in the corner took one look at her face, sketched hasty salutes and made themselves scarce. Picking up the bantos rods, Teyla tried to clear her mind.
After she nearly smacked herself in the forehead for the second time, she concluded her mind wasn't clear, and set the bantos rods down again. Looking around the room, she decided she would attempt the tai chi that Chen was teaching her.
The effort of properly reproducing the forms finally allowed her to clear her mind. Soon there was nothing but the next form and the balance needed to acquire it.
She wasn't sure how long it took, but when she was done, she was surprised to find John watching her, applauding softly when she opened her eyes.
Two slow breaths helped her keep from ruining all the hard work, and she bowed her head slightly. "Hello."
"Hi." Slouching against a wall, he didn't seem in any big hurry to get to the point.
"May I help you?" She was pleased that her voice remained even.
"Well, that kinda depends on whether you would be willing to accept my apology or if you wanted to bite my head off again."
Teyla took another deep breath. "I'm sorry, J--"
"Whoa!" Waving his hands, John pushed himself from his slouch. "I didn't ask for you to apologize. You had every right to say what you did."
"No, I did not. It was inexcusable for me to do so." She was about to go on when she realized John was staring at her as if she'd just grown horns. "John?"
"Uh...you're on my team, right? The one with Rodney? Rodney and his tendency to call us dimwitted malcontents who couldn't think our way out of a garden maze? And that's on a good day." John spread out his hands. "If you can't chew out your teammates, who can you yell at?"
"Rodney..." Teyla paused, searching for the words to make John understand. "Rodney is a scientist. He is not a leader, he was never trained as one. His behavior is...excusable."
"Depends on who you ask, I think," John said with a shrug. "But you're human too, Teyla. You're allowed to occasionally blow up at us when we're being idiots."
"That is...not how I was brought up."
John looked at her for a second. "I need some coffee, I think. Join me?"
Teyla followed him, knowing the request wasn't entirely that. Occasionally, John remembered that he was also a leader.
Before long, they were settled in the mess, John huddled over a coffee mug looking pensive, and Teyla sipping at a cup of tea.
"So explain to me why you're not allowed to yell at us when we deserve it."
Through the fragrant steam, Teyla looked at John, who was actually giving her his full attention. (Visibly, that is. He was always paying attention, but he rarely let anyone see that fact.)
"I always knew that I would lead my people," she said, gathering her thoughts. "My father taught me many things about the duties of a leader, and one of them was that we must remain calm and set an example for our people. Mindlessly lashing out provides no gains against the Wraith, and it would not help our people survive."
"Huh. My commanding officers would have loved you."
Raising her eyebrows, Teyla laughed softly. "I will choose to take that as a compliment."
"You do that."
"Among my people, it does not suit a leader to lash out at those they lead. And although you lead our team, I am a leader on Atlantis. I may once again be called to lead the city, and I must act properly."
Without looking away from her, John waved a group of scientists walking by their table. He took a sip of coffee. "I'll admit we had a rough beginning, but I don't think there's anyone in this city who wouldn't follow you through the gates of hell in search of Satan if you told them it was necessary."
Teyla caught her breath. That...was unexpected. "I thank you," she said, bowing her head.
"I mean it. I'm not just flattering you."
"I know."
John grimaced. "God, I suck at this stuff." When she grinned, he waved an admonishing hand. "None of that, young lady. Look, I'm sorry we didn't listen to you. It's happened before and it'll happen again--we're only human. But you're allowed to call us on it when we're stupid. Nobody here will think less of you for losing your temper once or twice in a few years."
"That is a cultural difference I may never become accustomed to."
"As long as you don't give up on us, I can live with that." John held out his hand.
She shook his hand. "So can I."
--end--
Final note: My prompt was "Stargate: Atlantis, Team (Gen): It's a lot like nature. You only have as many animals as the ecosystem can support and you only have as many friends as you can tolerate the bitching of. - Randy K. Milholland"
Subject line: Like Fiddle Strings [Stargate: Atlantis, Teyla Emmagen, G
Tags: Mara, Stargate: Atlantis, Teyla Emmagen, February 16