Smiling

By FeralPirate

A/N: I don't own these characters, but I do own this plot- so that's a good thing right? I was bored and I wrote this, it isn't a real story. I just hope it makes you smile.

"You wanted to see me sir?" The young student asked at the door way, his hand lingering on the door handle in an unspoken prayer that he wasn't called for.

Alas, Snape nodded and motioned to a chair across his desk. Harry groaned inwardly and slowly shuffled to the chair and slumped down, lifting his head barely to see his professor through his hair. Snape opened up a drawer and lifted something out.

"Please explain what this is," Snape said in his low tone.

"A… uh… a paintball gun, sir."

"And please explain to me, Mr. Potter, how exactly Peeves got a hold of it."

"You suspect that I had-"

"Mr. Potter, I have asked every other student who has access to muggle objects; I would suspect the Weasely twins but seeing they both are gone."

"On what grounds are you accusing me?!"

"My gut."

"Your gut," Harry scoffed. "You gut is not hard evidence, hard yes, but not hard evidence."

Snape blushed and scowled.

"Well, you did poke a Hufflepuff with a spoon-"

"ON A BET!" Harry glared. "Which if I remember correctly came from yo-"

"You drew the dark mark on Mr. Weasely's arm when he fell asleep!"

"That was funny," Harry chuckled.

"I heard you started a death pool."

Harry nodded. "I heard that too."

Snape cocked an eyebrow. "Condoms with lotion thrown on the ceilings."

Harry giggled. "Sure, lotion,"

"And I believe in all the bathrooms you cannot see the ceiling because of toilet paper which I pray wasn't used being up there along with the condoms."

Harry smiled. "And all of this is due to your gut?"

"The passing out of Magic Eight Balls along with some fictional writing by one J.K Rouw-lling… er… roll-ing… some muggle- and claiming that it is a prophetic book!"

"Uh, about that-"

"Getting students to randomly bust out in dance and sing 'The Chicken Song' during breaks."

Harry laughed outright. "Yeah, I admit that one, Dean helped me with that one. It was just supposed to be Gryffindors, but I am shocked how quickly the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs picked up on it. And, you want to know a real secret? I saw some Slytherins doing it too."

Snape gasped.

"We're also working on one for the Numa Numa song." Harry nodded.

"Which reminds me- are you playing the end of Tchaikovsky's 1812 overture before I comment a non-Slytherin?"

"And in whenever a mass of Gryffindors is walking down the halls charming the suits of armor to jump down and chase after the Slytherins, charming stacks of books the Ravenclaws carry to return to the library to reshelf themselves, and charming the Hufflepuffs robes to buzz like a swarm of bees."

"I suspect you also started a beauty contest for drag!" Snape pointed his finger viciously.

Harry nodded. "I admit that too, we're not all straight and let's face it, I get bored and want to look at other people too."

Snape growled. "You're only allowed to look at me damnit!"

"Sorry sir, I don't think you'd fit in the contest, the hair- have your checked your staff mailbox lately? Look for blue bottles- they say they can extract some of the grease to fuel the fries fryer at the closest McDonalds! The nose- which I do like by the way, but others don't. You'd scare my contestants and judges away," Harry stood. "If that's all sir, I need to go and get the KY jelly all set up in the Room of-" Harry stopped and looked back, but Snape was nowhere to be seen. "Awesome."

So that was my first fic in a long time, sort of a Snarry. Umm, The Chicken Song was supposedly written by AFI and can be veiwed at - one of my favorite song LOL. I may add later chapters when I think of more things to add, so I will list this as a WIP. Please review.