This is purely dedicated to my Matt. She's just endured a family tragedy, and my heart goes out to her, even more than it ever has in the past. I love her deeply. Thanks to Mahri Lellan for being the inspiration to this, as well as Chasing Cars, a Snow Patrol song. It's a somewhat song fic for a club on DeviantArt which is holding a contest. If it's a bit too much like Hung on Powerlines, sorry, it's just a songfic. Anyways enjoy this.

I love you, Matt. Seriously. This one's for you.

"Mello?" I say, peering into his room. It's empty…Empty here meaning, lacking him. Papers, clothes and the like are strewn about the room in a mad, chaotic frenzy. "Mello?" I say again, stepping into the room.

I step out.

My heart stops.

I bolt from the room, I need to find Near.

"Near!" I scream, running through the halls. Other kids are looking from their bedrooms and from the recreational room. I never speak much, and everyone knows…if me or Near are screaming…

Something's wrong.

Other students begin to file out of their rooms after me. My screaming has intrigued them.

I need to find Near.

Where is he?

"NEAR!" I scream again, turning to the doors leading outside. I can't see anything.

It's dark out.

"NEAR!" I scream again, peering into the dark library. Other students have collected behind me. They know something's wrong.

In the dark, fire lit room, is a white dot near the fireplace. He's playing with one of his puzzles. "Near, where is he?" I ask, approaching him.

There's a massive, Old English M on his puzzle.

"He left." Near says softly, not looking up at me. "You can still catch up with him." He adds. Near sighes. "L…he…he's…" He has to say nothing else.

My heart is still dead.

He can't have…

"Which exit?" I ask quickly.

Near raises his hand, and points to the doors I had just passed. I say nothing. Neither does he. We both know what's happening.

I push past the crowd of other orphans.

They don't matter to me right now.

I burst through the doors.

It's pouring. It's dark out.

I'm barefoot.

It's November, and I'm freezing already.

The rain beats down on me, soaking me to the skin.

My hair flattens to my face.

"MELLO!" I scream loudly into the blackness, beginning to run across the lawn of Wammy House.

"MELLO!" I scream again, raising my hands to my mouth to project my voice. "WHERE ARE YOU?" I'm shaking and I feel the texture of ground beneath me change.

My only light comes from behind me. The doors are still open and everyone is watching me. Watching me as I break down, crying and pleading for Mello.

They don't come to help me.

They all know how independent Mello and I are.

But how could he leave me like this?

The light begins to diminish.

I glance back.

I see the silhouette of Roger shutting the door, bringing the children back inside.

And I'm alone.

In the dark cold of night.

"MELLO!" I scream again, stopping in the middle of the driveway. "PLEASE! DON'T GO WITHOUT ME!"

I hear a faint sound in the distance…

"matt?" I hear. It's soft, almost inaudible from the rain. "is that you?"

"YES MELLO!" I shout loudly, beginning to run in the direction of my friend's voice.

"stop running idiot!" he calls back. "i'm going alone!"

"NO YOU'RE NOT!" I reply in a loud holler.

I begin to run again. I won't lose Mello.

I see a blip of gold in the distance.

It's him.

He can tell it's me.

He starts to run.

"DON'T GO!" I scream. "NOT WITHOUT ME!"

I begin to run faster.

I have sneakers in the backpack I'm wearing.

I knew Mello was leaving.

But I wanted to go with him.

Mello tries running more, but the golden dot in the distance lowers.

He falls to the ground and begins to say words that shouldn't come out of a fourteen year old kid's mouth.

"Idiot." I say, coming up behind him. "You honestly thought you'd leave me behind?"

Mello's face down in the dirt, his face is soaked. His clothes are ruined.

But I won't leave him.

"We'll do it all." I say to him, offering him a hand. "Everything." Mello stares at it. "On our own." He reaches up for my hand. "We don't need anything. Or anyone."

He grasps my hand tightly, a smile appearing on his face.

"On our own…" he says.

I don't think anyone remembers me…

M2…

Joining Mello.

Why should they?

I'm just number three.

---

Mello's lying in his bed, his face is covered in bandages and his flesh is hot to the touch. Whether it's the burns or the fever, it doesn't matter. I need to keep him cool.

"Matt…" he says to me, glancing at me from his eye that remained free of burns. "What ever happened…" he heaves in a breath. There's more ash in his lungs from the explosion than there ever will be from my smoking. "To us…on our own?"

I shake my head, contradicting him by taking a drag of a Newport cigarette. The smoke exits my nostrils and floats around the room.

"Fuckin' hypocrite." I sneer. "You ditched me."

"No I didn't," Mello says. He's shocked. "We got lost, remember?"

I shake my head. Obviously, no.

"We were in LA?" he asks. I shake my head. "And I was freaking out. I started calling your real name to try and find you."

"Don't remember." I snort, placing a plastic ice pack over Mello's bandages.

"Some guy offered to help me." Mello whispers softly. "It was Rod." I don't know who Rod is, I think it's some guy from the mafia. "He said he'd bring me to meet some people to help find you." Mello makes a discomforting grunt. "Pretty stupid thing to do for L's successor, huh?" Mello shakes his head. "I shouldn't have trusted them…They…they never helped me."

"I don't believe you." I grumbled. "I think you joined the mafia on your own, dumb ass."

We've changed a lot.

I secretly do believe him.

A part of him, at least.

"I was sixteen, Matt…" he sighs, leaning back on the bed, shifting on the icy towel I placed behind him. "That's something Wammy House never taught us…" We're both silent for a moment. "They never taught us…who we really can trust."

I glance at Mello.

He looks terrible.

Regardless of his criminal record.

I feel like I should take him to the hospital.

But I'm respecting him.

I start to change the subject. "If I don't see some improvement in your condition…" I say. "Like, within the week…" I take another drag. "I'm bringing you to the hospital."

"Matt." Mello says sternly. "I'll go to prison."

I shrug. "You can use my name." I dig around in my pocket, and pull out a fake ID.

It's my real name, but Mello's picture.

It's not really him. But close enough.

It's an intensely photoshopped image I had Linda do for me.

I talk to her still now and then.

She was my first girlfriend after all.

"Who did it?" Mello asks, examining it. "It's…My nose is wrong."

"Linda." I say. Mello's eyes widen. "She's been called on to do a lot of work lately. She wanted to know how you were."

"What'd you say?" Mello asks, handing the card back.

"I told her that you were extra crispy with a side of pancakes."

I'm a sarcastic bastard.

Mello laughs. He hasn't laughed like this in a long time.

He pats the bed.

"If I lay here…" he asks. "If I just lay here…Would you lie with me? And just forget the world?"

It'd be nice.

I miss being a kid with him.

I sit down on the bed with him, and smile. I shift around and find myself lying down on the bed, staring at him.

"I sometimes wish I hadn't left." He says dreamily.

I quirk an eyebrow, rolling on to my side.

"I like things how they are." I admit. "With me being a chronic smoker and drinker, and you deep fried…" I smile gently. "I wouldn't know you as well."

I force all my weight on to my elbows and lean over to look at Mello. He's a mess. A horrible, horrible mess.

But I like him like this.

I'm careful and reach forward and brush some of the blonde from his face.

"I like things as they are, Mihael." I say, using his real name.

I know it's not from the burn.

But his cheeks redden.

"I like you as you are." We both smile.

I place one of my hands next to his head, and twist some of the dry, golden locks in my fingers.

"M-mail…" he whispers softly, as my fingers trail against his burn-free cheek.

I can't help myself.

My body bends down, and my lips catch his.

I know that I'm not gay.

Mostly likely not bisexual either.

But Mello has a special place in my heart.

Whether it's in love or friendship.

I can see myself spending the rest of my life with him.

I expect Mello to push away from me.

But he doesn't.

His lips press against mine as well.

It's a wonderful feeling.

I'm pretty sure, that this isn't just friendship anymore.

I'm pretty sure…

That I love him.