A/N I might as will say that this paring was really freaking difficult for me, and I kind of rushed it because I thought the deadline for the contest was today. So forgive any moments of OOCness or the usual mistakes I make.
I will however say I did have a lot more fun towards the end of the story.
I hope you guys enjoy it.
And check out all the other stories that are part of the Valentine's Day contest..
Feb 12:
The green-skinned villainess yawned loudly as she drew near her employer. "You know Doctor D we can't call ourselves villains if we're not dabbling in any villainy."
"Just a moment Shego" Drakken quickly snatched a pencil out of an open drawer. He then used it to trace lines across massive blueprints hanging against the walls.
"I mean it's been a long, LONG time since we've done anything close to evil."
"Shego, do me a favor."
"Yes?"
"Zip it" he said irritably. "If you haven't noticed, I've been working on something all night and I'm just about finished"
A smirk came to Shego's face. She had gotten used to these moody outbursts from her "boss." And he would get this way whenever he is working on something big. It was Drakken's version of a certain monthly visitor. Staying up all night to work on a plan usually made him tired, agitated and edgy.
Shego leaned over his shoulder and peered at the blueprints "what airtight, foolproof plan to take over the world, do you have in the works this time?"
Drakken froze when her hair brushed against his face.
"Well I…." After reflecting for a moment he realized his mind had gone completely blank. "Shego there is a thing called personal space."
"Fine" she backed up. "So spill, what's your latest brain baby?"
"Allow me to finish, then I will tell you" he put the pencil to paper and worked it furiously.
A minute later it dropped from his hand and landed dramatically onto the ground
"This is it Shego, this is my most….." He gazed at the plans "…..pathetic plan yet!"
Drakken tore the blueprints of the wall and tossed them into a trash bin.
"What's wrong with me?" he cried out.
Shego drew back "oh no, sulking"
"I can't think of anything remotely insidious or even a bit dastardly. I'm shooting blanks Shego, blanks!"
"Just so you know, you shouting that out loud is not making me feel uncomfortable."
"What's happening to me? An evil genius of my magnitude, unable to come up with a single idea? It's inconceivable!"
"Look doc if it makes you feel any better you're only barely evil and you're not that much of a genius either, so if you think about it, you're actually overachieving."
Drakken glared at her "ah Shego have I ever told you how unwarranted your attempts at humor are? Because they are very much unwarranted."
Shego contemplated the sadness in his face; she searched herself for a biting remark but came up empty.
In fact what she did discover was that she actually felt bad for him.
Her hand seemed to move on her own and before she knew it, she was patting him on the shoulder. "Look doc I know you're going through a slump right now. But you've had your high points before, remember the diablo job? You probably won't ever be able to top that one, but hey it's more than Dementor has ever done right?"
Hearing his name used positively in contrast to Dementor's immediately picked up Drakken's spirit. As she knew it would.
"You're right I have been there before and I can get there again!" he grabbed another sheet of blueprints. "I shall return to the mountain top with this new plan."
Shego looked on as he wrote erratically on the new sheets of blueprints.
"Alright, you do the mad scientist thing and I'll catch some rays."
There was a loud and sudden crack as the pencil snapped in Drakken's hand. His eyes darted from Shego to the pencil stump.
"Did you say you were going sunbathing?"
"Uh yeah what of it?"
"And you're going to be in your swim suit?"
"Doy, how else am I supposed to expose my skin to the sun lamps?" Shego flippantly turned on her heels and walked out of the room.
Drakken peered at the broken pencil in his hand. Then he ran his fingers through his hair "now what was I doing?"
"Shego…..SHEGO!"
Drakken entered "Shego's place" the latest wing of the lair that he had been recently coerced into adding.
Inside he found her doing laps in her Olympic sized swimming pool
"SHEGO!"
"I'm off the clock" she shouted at him from the water
Drakken walked to the pool's edge "I need you to get something for me."
"You mean you need me to steal something for you."
"Semantics" he took note of her grace as she flirted with the surface of the water. Saliva collected in his mouth and he swallowed.
Eventually she swam to the ledge and climbed out of the pool in her swimsuit. She tore off her swimming cap, shook out her hair, and bent over to pick a towel off an conveniently low towel rack.
"What's with you doc?" she asked as she wiped herself off.
Drakken blinked "what?"
"You're tugging on your collar to get air into your neck and torso like you're in a nineteen fifties comedy."
"I am?" Drakken glanced down to see that his right hand was indeed at his collar. "That's……peculiar."
Shego clapped her hands together "a little game of snatch and run, I think I'm up for that. What's on the shopping list?
"We're doing the what now?"
She folded her arms over her chest "didn't you come in here to ask me to steal something?"
"I know what I came in here to do" he snapped. "I may have forgotten what I came in here to do but that doesn't mean I don't know what it is."
"I hate to tell you this Doctor D, but maybe you're burned out on the evil genius thing. Why don't you try something easier like politics?" She teased.
"Mock me if you must Shego--"
"Oh I must."
"But I will, I will….." he took another peek at her and he again lost his train of thought "I will try to figure out what is wrong with me."
Drakken scribbled into a notepad as he paced back and forth throughout his lair.
"I'm just one step away from completing my masterpiece. One step away, one step away." He muttered this repeatedly to himself, as he wandered into the kitchen.
Shego grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and watched in amusement as he absentmindedly bumped into an overhanging spice rack.
"Doc you are now one hundred percent whacked."
Drakken massaged his forehead "I'll have you know Shego. I'm only one step away from completing my masterpiece."
She rolled her eyes "so I've heard."
He glared at her as she sauntered past him "lippy remarks do not aid the creative proc--" he stopped.
"What?" she asked.
"Are…..are you comfortable in that suit?"
"Huh?" Shego looked down at her trademark green and black "what do you mean?"
"I just noticed that it's tight, skin tight actually."
Shego nodded "that's a good observation. It really syncs up with the school of thought that jumpsuits are tailor made to be tight."
"Right I knew that" he replied quickly.
"Doctor D"
"Yes?"
Shego leaned in close "whacked" she said before walking out of the room.
Standing quietly in the kitchen it took Drakken close to a minute to realize that he had been holding his breath. He let it out and looked back down at his notepad.
"Now where was I?" Scratching his head in bemusement Drakken skimmed through his notes "Wait a minute I can't make heads or tails of this."
Frustrated he crumbled the pad in his hands and threw it over his shoulder
The henchmen assembly started innocently enough with the question on whether the rumor of an organizational transition away from villainy was true or false. However the discussion between Drakken's employees soon degenerated into something completely different.
"Do they like each other?"
The assembly leader made a hand gesture towards a gigantic screen hanging from the ceiling. On the screen was a picture of Drakken and Shego wrapped together by a vine. The recently blossomed flower in between them accentuated the scene.
A henchman in the back of the room stood up.
"The way I see it" he began. "The flower represents an awkward "blooming", if you will, of their relationship. Allow me to theorize that they both have feelings for each other but being who they are, they are not used to expressing it. I say this believing that the flower is directly under the orders of Drakken's subconscious."
"Speculation! For all we know that flower could be a third party" someone shouted.
Another henchman jumped to his feet "it seems to me that Drakken is robbing the cradle"
"I say she's robbing the grave!"
A torrent of random shouts immediately followed.
"Age ain't nothin' but a thang!'
"We should all be happy that Drakken is finally going to get some."
"I'm pretty sure they haven't gotten that far."
"How do you know?"
"Because Drakken hasn't been broken in half. You know he can't handle a woman like Shego."
"If you ask me, the last thing that guy seems to care about is getting laid.
"I think it's cute."
"Cute? Nothing involving Drakken is close to cute."
"One is green. The other is blue. Their child will be what color?"
"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!"
Every head in the room snapped towards Shego when she stormed in. The screen rose into the ceiling and the room became as quiet as a graveyard.
"Um" the assembly leader stepped up as the rest of the henchmen shivered in horror. "We were just discussing about our future roles."
Enraged Shego crept closer her hands aflame
The assembly leader staggered backwards "you know…..are we bad guys or good guys?"
"I'll tell you what you are; you're a bunch of fudgin' gossiping hens!--"
He gulped "now hold on there's no need for pseudo profanities."
"--And I'm about to have a roast."
"EEEP!"
Shego found Drakken channel surfing in the lair's living room area. "What, is it break time already?"
"More like research time, I'm in desperate need of ideas. Television has been a source of inspiration in the past."
Shego plopped herself next to him "you need to crack the whip with these henchmen doc."
"Pfffft the henchmen, sleeping beauty does more work than those pea brains."
"Well they need something to do blue boy. Or else they'll just sit around all day talking about us."
"Us?" Drakken's eyebrow arched "us, us, us, us, US!"
"Are you ok doc?"
He jumped to his feet "Shego we need to talk about us."
She scoffed nervously "what?"
"Shego, do you deny that ever since the alien invasion, things have felt different?"
She nodded "yes I do."
"The awkward tension between us--
"Huh?"
"The veiled intimacy"
"The what?"
"It all correlates!"
"It does? What does?"
"I cannot believe I didn't see this before--"
"See what?"
Drakken sat down beside her "Shego I must get this off my chest."
"Wait a minute doc" Her eyes darted anxiously from side to side before she squeezed them shut "just think about what you're about to say--
"Shego people have this idea, probably from the media that it's just fine to date your co-workers. But it's generally not. Office romances are actually counterproductive."
She opened her eyes "excuse me?"
"Trust me I did the research during the modulator incident, I mean I would have told you then but I was too busy fearing for my life."
She shook head back and forth "you are such an idiot……...How did you even get this ridiculous idea in your head?"
"Well how do explain the fact that I'm unable to concentrate when you strut around in revealing outfits--
"Strut around?" she said incredulously
"Shego no offense but the future ruler of the world has no time for trivial pursuits of love."
Shego bit her bottom lip a second before bursting into laughter "like I would even dream of having an "office romance" with you."
Drakken clucked in confusion "so you're saying you didn't have any feelings….."
She laughed harder "me? Have feelings for a complete loser like you?"
Visibly hurt Drakken turned his back to her "it's for the best then, because I wouldn't dream of having an "office romance" with someone so lippy and disrespectful."
"Excellent, because I wouldn't dream of having an "office romance" with an adult who still drinks chocolate milk and refers to it as cocoa moo."
"Tremendous, because I wouldn't dream of having an "office romance" with someone who eats like a pterodactyl."
"You've never seen a pterodactyl eat" Shego countered
"I have so and you eat just like one."
"You're a mama's boy."
"You have awful taste in music." Drakken paused "and what's the deal with the pouch? What do you keep in there anyway, lip gloss?"
Exasperated Shego threw her hands in the air "that's it I'm a ghost"
Drakken glanced over his shoulder just in time to see her march out of the room "Shego where are you going? You're still on the clock."
Shego turned, and offered Drakken a polite suggestion to what he could do with said clock, a suggestion that involved Drakken turning the clock sideways. Flustered Drakken watched her stomp down the curving corridor that connected the lair to the docking area.
Stunned, Drakken fidgeted nervously "fair enough employees are required to have a personal day. When are you coming back?"
"Try never" Shego growled without turning to face him.
"Fine…I……I don't need you anyway. Me without you is like a neck without a pain." He forced out the words causing his voice to sound unnecessarily loud.
She of course ignored him.
"Shego one of these days one of us will have to grow up!"
A few minutes after she stepped out of Drakken's field of vision one of his henchmen reported that Shego had left the area.
"I know that" Drakken grumbled.
"And I don't think she's coming back sir."
"Oh and what gave you that impression?"
"Sir she screamed I'm never coming back right before exiting the perimeter."
Drakken sighed "she'll come back, she always comes back."
Feb 13:
When Shego got out of the lift, a receptionist behind a glossy desk greeted her with a warm smile.
"Ah Miss Go, welcome" the receptionist said.
Shego scanned the immediate area. Plush cream-colored carpeting smothered the floor, egg white paint, mirrors and avant-garde art adorned the ceiling and the walls. Soft melodic instrumentals poured out of the PA system.
She whistled "I've got to say I like the new digs"
"Business has been good. Miss Go you'd be happy to know that for this week only Midas is offering his services to female sidekicks for free."
"Nice."
"Unfortunately though there will be a substantial waiting period."
"I don't mind waiting."
"Great" the receptionist stood up and Shego followed her to the waiting lounge.
The waiting lounge featured an open bar with music blasting from an expensive looking sound system. In the room more than a dozen other female costumed villains wandered between their seats and the bar. There were a few well known names in the room and just as many nobodies. But the one thing most of them had in common beyond being evil was that Shego would not mourn if a bomb had gone off in the room.
"Shego darling is that you?" came a voice from the far side of the room.
Shego cringed "not the Duchess."
Crowds parted as The Duchess of Doom ambled through the room. The Duchess wore an elegant two-piece ensemble made of the finest silk, a hip-length coat, diamonds on her ears and a bejeweled cap with feathered wings. Her clique consisted of less infamous names, such as Typhoon Sally.
"It's been awhile" The Duchess said.
Shego didn't even bother to force a smile "D of D, you're still alive, how wonderful."
"Not only am I alive I'm on cloud nine. I'm sure you've heard of the marvelous caper the Duke and I pulled off last week."
Shego nodded "yeah that bank job in Iowa right? Must be nice to be a big fish in a small pond."
The way the corners of The Duchess' mouth twitched caused an extreme sense of satisfaction to wash over Shego.
"I'm surprised to see you here. Everyone is saying that you have gone straight."
"Who's everyone, the people in your ears?"
"So you and Drakken are still players in this delightful little game of ours?"
"One, you still have horrible metaphors. Two, you're wrong again, he and I have parted ways.
The Duchess smiled "wonderful! I assume you finally realized what little potential you had, was being wasted with that poor excuse for a mad scientist."
"Say what you want about Drakken, but he came closer to taking over the world than anyone here has." The words tumbled out of Shego's mouth before she realized what she was saying.
The Duchess chuckled cheerfully "ah yes the little diablos. Drakken did indeed almost take over the world."
She turned to the other villains "I guess we should also celebrate the Titanic for almost making it to the New York harbor."
Laughter echoed around the room.
"Face it Shego, you've wasted the prime years of your life as Drakken's lackey."
Shego's eyes immediately fell onto a large sign on the wall that read:
Fighting is not allowed in the waiting lounge that means you Shego. Violators will be banned- Midas
Her fists clenched at her sides "when you gals do something a little more risqué than a misdemeanor than we'll talk"
Shego then strolled over to the bar and ordered a drink.
"Oh right, for what its worth we mustn't forget that Shego is wanted in eleven countries. Quite an impressive resume slightly tarnished by horrendous decisions, you might have gotten far if you had chosen a better partner. Why did you align yourself with that joke?"
Shego snorted and drained her glass "whatever"
"But maybe I give Drakken too little credit, maybe his failures are not all his fault. Maybe a certain lazy sidekick allowed Drakken to squalor in mediocrity, instead of pushing him to his maximum potential like I have with The Duke. Hmmmmpf Shego and Drakken the Bonnie and Clyde of incompetence"
Her nose in the air The Duchess laughed uproariously as she and her clique turned away from Shego. However at that point their laughter had no effect, Shego's mind was currently elsewhere. Out of everything that had spewed out of the Duchess' mouth one thing had stuck out. Why had she latched onto Drakken for all these years?
This wasn't the first time that she had bailed on Drakken. But those were more like routine vacations from him; they both knew that she would eventually return.
But why?
She had never thought about it before but why did she always come back? As she reflected on the question she could hear Drakken lecturing her on "office romances." The more she thought about it the more her frustration mounted and it didn't take long for it to hit its peak. She downed another glass and returned her undivided attention to the Duchess and her groupies.
"……...I don't know what to do. The Duke has spent two days brooding in our loft. And just yesterday he was absolutely livid over nothing at all. The poor baby, I've never seen him in such a state of malaise."
"I think I have an idea why he's so upset. Every time he looks down your dress the only bumps he sees are your knees."
Shego grinned as The Duchess faced her "why don't you send him over to me? I'll teach him the real meaning of dangerous curves."
The Duchess frowned "watch your mouth peasant."
Shego titled her head innocently to the side "maybe that was a little too personal. Would it have been better if I had commented on your ratty dress?"
A glowing scepter appeared in the Duchess' hand "not another word."
"And by ratty I mean it looks like it was knitted by rats" Shego continued.
Abruptly a beam of light exploded from the tip of the Duchess' scepter and obliterated a section of the wooden bar into splinters.
Shego calmly surveyed the wreckage "looks like I'm being provoked" her hands began to glow "I guess I'll have to defend myself."
Rising out of a mud bath like a zombie from its grave, Midas the world's most famous masseuse officially ended his post lunch stress alleviating nap. Tossing mud out of his eyes, he hit the snooze button on his alarm.
"To relieve those of stress one must be stress free."
Midas took in a deep breath and let it out. It was time to heal the world's wounds. He cleared the mud off his skin and dressed quickly before peeking at his appointment list. Next up on the list was a Miss Errible.
"Now serving Miss Errible" he pushed through the door leading to the waiting lounge "Miss Errible you are up nex--
He stopped and stared slack jawed at what remained of his waiting lounge. There were black scorch marks on the rug, most of the furniture had been trashed, half the bar and a section of the wall had been completely destroyed.
Only a single chair had been left perfectly intact and it was currently under the remaining person in the room.
Midas sighed when he saw Shego quietly thumbing through a semi burnt magazine.
"Where is everyone?"
She looked up at him "they had to cancel."
"All of them?"
"Yep"
"Shego…."
"It was self defense check the security tapes."
Midas shrugged "luckily I have the proper insurance for these types of situations."
"She isn't coming back!" Drakken grumbled.
He sat in an armchair covered only by a robe; one hand in a bowl of potato chips, the other clutching a tub of ice cream.
"And how do ya know that?"
Drakken glared at the screen featuring Duff Killigan's face "because she said she wasn't coming back!"
"Ach, are ya daffy man, the lass says that all the time."
"Yeah well this time I think she means it." He ate a spoonful of ice cream "and now my Fonzie has gone completely out the window."
"Yer what?"
"My cool man; work with me here Killigan, try and keep up. Do you realize how hard it is to find a good subordinate these days? Who am I going to find that can strike fear into the heart of interlopers like Shego could?"
"I never found the need for a sidekick, but I agree ye'll be hard pressed to find someone as tough as Shego. She had a sharp tongue and sharp claws."
Drakken dumped a handful of chips into his mouth "I don't know why she freaked on me like that."
Killigan blinked back at Drakken "ya can't be serious?"
"Note the serious robe Killigan." Drakken shook his head "all I did was explain the situation and she blows her top. I swear if I live to be a million years old I still won't understand women."
"Well my old man used to say lasses ain't fer understandin' they're fer lovin', if ya get my drift."
Drakken snorted "it would take someone incredibly foolish to love Shego………you don't think she'd start sidekickin' for Dementor do you? He's always had his eye on her."
Killigan watched in disgust as Drakken shoveled a few more chips into his mouth "what are ya doing to yourself man?"
"What?" Drakken asked as crumbs cascaded down his chin "I get hungry when I'm stressed….it's a glandular problem."
"It's a mental problem." Killigan retorted.
Drakken sniffed "that was nice of you Killigan but it lacks lippyness."
He then stared at the large tub of ice cream for a moment before angrily knocking it over.
"I need to get a grip on my emotions. I couldn't concentrate while she was here, and now I can't concentrate while she's gone."
Duff slapped himself on the forehead "I see now that ya hav' no clue on what's going on. Yer as dense as a brick."
Drakken reached under his chair and pulled out a pack of cookies. "You say something?"
"Drakken ya remember Days of My Children when Brock became a detective?"
"Do I? That was the best story arc of the decade. But what does a soap opera have to do with this?"
"Just listen to what I'm saying ya fool. Yer remember that he was in a coma--
"Yes he got shot by Felicia's evil twin, because he discovered, she was the one who attacked Jody's mom."
"--And when he got out of the coma Felicia asked him to quit the force because--
"She was afraid he would get hurt again. What's your point Killigan?"
"--But Brock refused to quit. He said that police work was more important than her--"
"Right and then she moved out."
Killigan nodded "And then…..?"
"You know what happens next, we watched it together."
"What happened next?!"
Drakken sighed "then when she was gone, Brock realized that he really loved her and that trivializing her love was…..the….biggest…mistake….he…had…. ever…..OH MY GOD! This….that…I……IT'S LIKE FELICIA AND BROCK!"
"Finally" Killian groaned.
Drakken clutched at his hair "this can't be happening, I can't be in love with Shego, she's too violent, she's too lippy, she's…."
"She's the one that ya want o, o, ooooo."
On the verge of hyperventilating Drakken vigorously ran his hands across his face for about a minute. He inhaled; exhaled, took a moment to regain his exposure and then he stared blankly at the screen
"Ok now what?"
The sounds of an orchestra filled the room, a soft and gentle symphony echoing off the walls.
Lying face down Shego sighed contently "is that Beethoven?"
"Yes it is, you have a very good ear Shego."
"I don't just listen to MC Honey you know." She moaned as her skin and muscles were stroked, kneaded, squeezed, rolled and tapped.
"You certainly are tense. Is there something wrong?"
She chortled "do you want to hear something funny?" Shego then went on to explain the incident involving Drakken.
"Ah I see rejection is a difficult thing to deal with."
"That's what I'm saying its so ridicu--what? I didn't get rejected."
"Then why are you so upset."
"I'm not upset!" she attempted to get up but Midas knocked her back down with a gentle tap on the back.
"You've enjoyed my services for many years Shego and I've never seen you this tense. Your mind may disagree but your body is clearly upset."
"Midas you have the hands of a God but the insight of an ant, you're completely off target with this one."
"Am I?"
"Yes you are."
"So why are you here?"
"I came here for a massage, doy."
He dragged his fingers from her spine to her shoulders before sweeping the sides of her neck "no, you are here for me to heal you, but there are some wounds even Midas can not heal. He can only place a bandage and hope for the best."
"What wounds?"
"The wounds caused by Cupid's mighty slings and arrows" Midas exclaimed.
"Midas I love your work and I believe everyone has the right to be stupid. But you are abusing the privilege! There is nothing going on with me and Dr. D."
"Denial Shego, it's not just a river in Egypt."
Shego stiffened under Midas' touch.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing I just got hit with a massive case of deja' vu."
"Hmmmmm you must know your body Shego, and to know your body you must know yourself. When you speak of Drakken it...your body reacts."
"Of course it reacts" she said angrily "it reacts because I'm pissed at him for trying to lecture me."
Using his thumb Midas pushed down at the base of her neck "and?"
Shego suddenly became very drowsy "and….and for calling me trivial" she said before her head collapsed leaving her drooling and gurgling like a content baby.
"Of course"
Midas walked over to a counter and squirted fresh body oil into the palm of his hand. "No worries though Midas will do his best to bandage you. But know this, you can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close yourself to the things you do not want to feel."
Drakken paced back and forth before all his henchmen.
"Men, here is the situation at hand. I have a friend you see, and this friend has just realized, that apparently he has feelings for a certain woman. Now this friend hasn't played the field so to speak, in a very, very long time, because quite frankly he's been all tied up in his work. But now apparently, surprisingly, strangely, he's found something more important than his work. So I'm here to collect advice from you all about relationships….for my friend. So step up, state your name, and give any pearls of wisdom you can think of."
A henchman stepped up "Paul reporting for duty sir."
"Yeah, yea, why should I listen to you Paul?"
"Sir around here I'm known as kitty litter because I attract all the p--"
"Alright Paul, tell me something……and keep it clean."
"Here's the thing bossman, what your friend needs to do is master the art of attraction. Attraction for women is not the same as for men. It has very little to with preference. Oh sure a woman might prefer a guy who models for underwear but when you've mastered the science behind generating attraction, what a woman physically thinks of you will be the least of your concerns."
"Ok I like Paul, Paul has useful ideas, you can be part of my think tank to solve my friend's problem. Next!"
An overweight henchman stepped up to replace Paul "believe it or not I'm quite the ladies man."
Drakken looked the man over "I choose not to believe it. Next!"
"Ah, women, they make the highs higher and the lows more frequent"
"Great, now can I hear from someone who is not a bumper sticker. NEXT!"
An hour later he was down to the last person.
The last henchmen shrugged "relationships…..love, they're like heart attacks, unpredictable, scary, painful, but when the tough part is truly over. That's when you realize how lucky you are."
"Oooooo I like that, I like that a lot. You can join the think tank; you'll be assigned number four."
Drakken brought his attention to the remaining henchmen "the rest of you go do whatever it is I pay you to do."
Later on that night, Shego parked her hover car in the docking area and went straight to the living room area. She entered without knocking, and found Drakken sitting on the couch, sipping on cocoa moo and staring at the television.
I've had the time of my life, no I never felt this way before. Yes I swear it's the truth and I owe it all to you.
"What are you doing?" She asked
Startled Drakken sprang forward and shut the television off "Shego you're back."
"Were you just watching Dirty Dancing?"
"No, No I was….I was doing some research and it happened to be on and…..Shego you're back!" he repeated
"Listen doc we need to talk, you know clear the air between us."
"Wait before we do that I want you to read this" he reached into his pocket and fished out a small piece of paper. "It's something I got from a fortune cookie."
He handed it to her "it says I'm energetic, bright, resourceful, compassionate, and I have great potential as a lover."
"Huh you're right it does say that."
"Pretty spot on right?"
"It also says that your lucky lotto numbers are one, two, three, and four."
Drakken snatched the paper out of her hand "ok they can't all be gems."
Shego glanced to the heavens as if appealing for help "Doctor D can we focus on something important for just a second?"
Drakken went back to his pockets "hold on Shego, hold on. I've got something really important to say."
He pulled out a handful of note cards and flipped through them "let me uh get a little organized here….um this sounds good. If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever."
Wide eyed, Shego exclaimed "WHAT?"
"You know." Drakken's eyes narrowed as he stared down at the card "now that I've said it out loud it doesn't sound as good as it reads. Actually I think it made me a little nauseous. Let's try something a little more hip."
"Doc what are you doing? Did you take too much Nyquil again?"
"Ok how about this. Your daddy must be a demolitions expert because you are the bomb…..what does that even mean? What am I paying these henchmen for?"
"Are…..are you trying to woo me?"
Drakken coughed into his fist and suddenly as if part of a magic act a bouquet of hydrangeas appeared in his hand. The flower power that he had gained during the alien invasion was still with him to this very day, and occasionally he found the power very useful.
"Shego some people have a way with words and uh…………………………….So to answer your question yes I am trying to woo you. Happy Valentines Eve."
Shego took a half step backward
"Shego I'm going to be honest, you backing away is not the reaction I was looking for."
"I'm backing away, because you're freaking me out!"
"I thought you liked hydrangeas?"
She shook her head rapidly "I do, but this….."
"Shego I assure you I had the same reaction at first, but then I thought. Why not?
"Why….not…?"
Drakken grimaced "alright that wasn't the most romantic line in the world. But cut me some slack here, the game's changed since I've been away."
Shego put her finger up to her right eye to stop it from twitching "I've got to get out of here."
She spun on her heels and sprinted out the door.
"Wait a minute Shego you can't walk out on me twice in less than twenty four hours."
"Just watch me" she rushed to her hover car and jumped in. "And this time I'm leaving for good."
Helplessly Drakken watched as she sped out of view.
"I'd say that the relationship has gotten off on the wrong foot" he told himself.
A few minutes later he gathered his think tank together to berate them "you guys were of no help at all! You're all off the think thank. The think tank now consists of me, me and me."
"How were we supposed to know she was allergic to wooing? You should have known that yourself."
"What does that have to do with you being incompetent?" Drakken shouted.
"We're trying our best" said henchman one
"That's the problem!"
Henchman two raised his hand in the air "so you're going to quit right?"
"Quit?" Drakken grinned "show me the man who can find Drakken and quit in the same sentence. And I'll show you a liar."
Valentines morning:
Mego mumbled quietly to himself as he yawned and stretched his way to the Go Tower kitchen. He walked in to see the usual sight of his costumed brother sitting at the kitchen table and the highly unusual sight of his sister sitting next to him.
"Sis what the heck are you doing here?"
Hego peered from behind the newspaper he was reading "Shego's on the run."
Mego glanced at his sister; she sat completely motionless with her arms crossed over her chest.
"From the law?"
"Good guess, but you are incorrect. She's actually hiding from Drakken, apparently she thinks this is the last place he would look for her."
Mego studied Shego's face it was much paler than usual and she was staring blankly into space.
"What's wrong with her?"
"I think she's slipped into a state of shock."
Mego whistled softly before strolling towards the table and pouring himself a cup of coffee.
"So what happened? Did Drakken finally get tired of sis' quick "wit?" Did he finally snap?"
"Nope from what I gather Drakken's in love with her."
A geyser of coffee spewed out from Mego's mouth and into the air.
"I did not see that coming." Mego said after wiping his mouth.
Hego shuffled the pages of the newspaper "I don't think anyone did."
"I'll go get the mop."
When Mego was gone Shego sprang to life "he's not in love with me he's just confused!"
Hego put the newspaper down and glanced at his watch "looks like you were running a minute behind the rest of the world. But more importantly how did Drakken get confused?"
"Because…..because of the flower blooming thing at the medal ceremony….and he some how got it in his head that I've been tempting him with risqué clothing."
"Well were you?"
There was a moment of hesitation "no, I mean ok I spend a lot of time in my swimsuit but that's because I have sunlamps and a pool in the lair."
"Uh-huh"
"No. no "uh-huh" Hego, this is Drakken. He is…..well he is OLD."
"Yeah it's not like I've never seen you chase older guys before."
"Hego you're not listening to me, this is Drakken……I don't even know if he's ever had a single date in his life."
"Hey look at it this way at least you know he's not just trying to get into your pants."
Shego smacked her hands onto the table "Hego stop making points and listen to me. This is Drakken we are talking about!"
"The same Drakken you've worked with for over six years. And no matter what happens, no matter how insane things may have gotten. You always go back to him and he always lets you come back."
"It was a job; I had to do my job didn't I?"
"Sis I said you could hide out in the Go Tower on one condition, you had to be honest."
Shego rolled her eyes "ok I was comfortable there alright. I was more comfortable there than anywhere else I've been in my life. For example Drakken doesn't ask me a lot of idiotic questions" she said bitingly.
Hego took the insult in stride "right"
"But just because I'm comfortable with Drakken doesn't mean I'm in lllllllllllllllllll--" she took in a deep breath "--in love with him."
"I'm just saying you could do much worse than Drakken."
"Hego allow this to penetrate your thick skull. Do you understand where this dark path may lead? The last thing I need is more Drakken."
"Ironically this may be the first stable relationship you've ever had."
Shego's eyes narrowed as she stared at her brother "Hego why are you doing this? You know he's evil."
"He's not just evil, he's insane. But so are you, and though I deplore your "lifestyle choices", I wouldn't mind seeing you happy for once."
The two siblings stared at each other from across the table.
"Hego…."
"Yes dear sister?"
"You're an idiot."
Hego was about to reply when Mego reentered the room "um guys I just checked the security cameras and Drakken's hanging out outside."
"Here is the specially modified boom box you asked for sir. We guarantee that the sound will reach the top of the tower."
"Excellent" Drakken said gleefully as he accepted the boom box from Henchmen two.
"But I thought she uh hated wooing?" Henchman one said.
"That's the genius of the plan! There's only one way to truly get Shego's attention, and that is to annoy her."
Drakken pushed the on button on the boom box and lifted it over his head.
Many times I've tried to tell you
Many times I've cried alone
Always I'm surprised how well you
Cut my feelings to the bone
Don't want to leave you really
I've invested too much time
To give you up that easy
To the doubts that complicate your mind
We belong to the light
We belong to the thunder
We belong to the sound of the words
We've both fallen under
"I'm so annoyed right now" Shego stated as she stuffed cotton balls into her ears.
Mego peered out the window and laughed heartily "I can't believe this is happening."
Shego nodded "you and me both."
"Drakken's idea of foreplay is probably a half hour of begging" Mego chortled.
"You see Hego, Mego gets it."
Hego shrugged "I guess he does have some faults, but you can't help who you love."
Shego stared daggers at her brother
"Come on sis it's Valentines Day. Love is probably the answer to all your problems."
"If love is the answer Hego someone need to rephrase the question."
Just when I believed I couldn't ever want for more
This ever changing world pushes me through another door
I saw you smile and my mind could not erase the beauty of your face
Just for a while won't you let me shelter you
"Oh I love this song" Hego exclaimed. "At least you can say he's got great taste in music"
Then to Mego and Shego's horror Hego began to belt out a few notes.
Hold on to the night
Hold on to the memories
I wish that I could give you something more
and I could be yours
Shego placed her face in her hands "oh my god I'm surrounded."
Uh don't be cruel
'Cause I would never be that cruel to you
Uh no, oh oh, no
Uh don't be cruel
Uh girl, you need to change your attitude
Uh no, oh
Uh don't be cruel
"Do you think its working?" Henchmen three asked.
"Well…." Drakken was cut short when a green bolt smacked into the boom box smashing it into a million pieces. "Yes I'd have to say it worked."
"Ok doc you've got my attention" Shego said as she stepped before them.
"Did you have to destroy the boom box Shego. Scientific equipment doesn't grow on trees."
"What do you want?"
"Henchmen would you give us a little privacy?"
The henchmen scattered quickly leaving Shego and Drakken alone.
"Well?" Shego inquired.
"I'm sorry."
"What?"
"I just wanted to say I'm sorry about yesterday, the wooing and the trivial talk. There were a lot of things I didn't take into consideration when I--
"Don't worry I'm completely over it" she interrupted.
"But I'm still sorry" he said. "Shego sometimes I get things wrong--
'Sometimes?"
"A lot of times I get things wrong, but I can't help but think this is right."
"How? Before yesterday you didn't feel this way. You can't just decide to love someone on a whim. That's not how it works, that's now how it's supposed to work."
"How is it supposed to work Shego? The thing is I don't think I decided on anything. It just kind of happened, maybe it happened for me a long time ago and I'm now just recognizing this."
"Doctor D why don't we just forget about all this, we can go back to the lair, you can start working on your plans again."
"The world can wait Shego"
"What did you say?"
'The world can wait until we sort this out."
Shego found that she was momentarily speechless. She closed her eyes and chuckled softly "wow"
"Alright I think it's time for a quick recap. I have feelings for you and you have……" he let his words hang in the air.
She opened her eyes "whether or not I have feelings for you is kind of irrelevant--
"I really think I should be the judge of that."
"I'm not the relationship type, Drakken….I'm….like… I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away I don't know where my soul is. I don't know where my home is."
"Are those song lyrics?"
"It's the only way I can explain alright" she exclaimed. "I'm really sorry about messing with you earlier but I mean come on, who saw this situation coming."
"You don't think I find this strange. You're not exactly the girl you bring home to mother."
"I don't what anything to do with your mother!"
"My mother doesn't want anything to do with you! And I don't want you to have anything to do with my mother! My worlds are colliding here Shego, everything is weird, but that won't change the way I feel."
She walked up to him "It should! Face it doc we weren't that successful as an evil duo how are we supposed to work as a couple?"
Drakken ran his hands together, hurt filled his eyes, but what could he say? Technically she was right.
"Good point, very good point" he said before leaning over, embracing her, and kissing her. He was then surprised when after a moment's hesitation she kissed him back.
But the moment didn't last long. When she regained her senses Shego gasped in disbelief and pulled away.
"Why did you do that?"
"I did that because quite frankly, you frustrate the heck out of me."
"And you annoy the heck out me Drew" Shego replied.
He stared into her eyes "Shego I may not be perfect but parts of me are really good."
"Was that some kind of double entendre?"
"No….." he paused "would that help if it was."
Shego met his gaze "no it wouldn't."
Drakken turned with a sigh and started walking away. "Well ok, farewell then. I'll uh…catch you on the flip side or something."
When Drakken was gone Shego heard Mego cluck disapprovingly "so what do you get when two anti social people realize they like each other?"
"A huge mess" Hego answered as he and Mego marched out of the Go Tower.
"What do you guys want?" She snapped.
"Are you ok?" Hego asked.
Shego answered by blasting him in the gut and sending him crashing into a nearby wall.
"Oooof" Hego massaged his abdomen as he picked himself off the ground "that brought back memories."
"I'm fine" she said casually. "But there's no use in me staying here anymore. I'll be going now."
"Wow" Mego muttered as she walked away "that was really sad."
The hover car sped down the desert highway as a dozen or so black and whites gave chase. Behind the wheel a masked Shego peeked at the rear view window and frowned at the approaching law enforcement. A tattered trash bag filled with bills, bounced around in the backseat.
The rewards of a sloppy but so far successful bank heist.
"PULLOVER NOW OR WE WILL OPEN FIRE" someone shouted through a megaphone.
"PULLOVER OR ELSE!"
Shego extended her hand out of the car and gave the fine officers of the law a proud one finger salute.
"It's a bad day when robbing a bank is no fun" she uttered sadly.
She looked around her, bullets were pinging loudly off the hover car's bullet proof dome, police sirens were blaring noisily from behind her, and a moron with a megaphone was shouting threats at her.
She turned on the radio.
You're listening to Fresh kiss 103.6. We're here with your Valentines Day play list; because we could all use a little loving.
She spat and turned the dial.
I 'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you. I know you were right believing for so long, I'm all out of love, what am I without you. I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong.--
She gave the dial another turn
--I try to go on like I never knew you, I'm awake but my world is half asleep. I pray for this heart to be unbroken. But without you all I'm going to be is, incomplete--
A frustrated snarl escaped her lips as she turned the dial a third time.
--When the night has been too lonely, and the road has been too long, and you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong. Just remember in the winter far beneath the bitter snows, lies the seed, that with the sun's love, in the spring, becomes the rose--
"Has the whole world GONE MAD!" Shego continued to scan the dials.
--Here is my confession. May I be your possession? Boy I need your touch. Your love kisses and such. With all my might I try, but this I can't deny. I play it off but I'm dreaming of you, I'll keep my cool but I'm fiendin. I try to say good bye and I choke, I try to walk away and I stumble. Though I try to hide it it's clear. My world crumbles when you are not near.
In a fit of massive vexation she reared back and smashed her fist into the car radio. For a moment there was a wondrous moment of silence but then…
Welcome back to KROCK 92.3 we're rocking your V day all night long. Next up is Poison by Alice Cooper.
The officers trailing Shego were befuddled when the hover car swerved wildly from side to side across both lanes.
"You think the perp has gone nuts?" Said one officer.
'Who knows?" answered another.
Shego wrestled with the wheel as she sang—screamed along with the radio "--I hear you calling and its needles, and pins. I want to hurt you just to hear you, screaming my name. Don't want to touch you, but you're under my skin. I want to kiss you but your lips, are venomous POISON! You're POISON running through my veins, you're POISON, I don't wanna break these chains. POISON!"
With a fervent passion she drummed on the steering for a moment before…….
--One look could kill, my pain, your thrill--
……..she sang again "I want to love you but I better not touch. I want to hold you but my senses, tell me to stop, I want to kiss you but I want it too much. I want to taste you but your lips are venomous POISON. You're POISON running through my veins. You're POISON, I don't wanna break these chains. POISON, burning deep inside my veins. Its POISON, I don't wanna break these chains. POISO--
She stopped when a bullet pierced through the dome and struck the dashboard. Alarmed Shego initiated the quick escape feature on the hover car. Camouflage activated, she pulled discreetly off the road, as the cops roared past her unknowingly pursuing a hologram.
Minutes later she was lying on the hood of the hover car staring up at the star infested sky above her. The stars seemed to twinkle along with the slow song that was playing on the radio.
Shego closed her eyes drew in a deep breath--
"AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAA"
--and screamed at the heavens
With that done her eyes opened and a hazy smile came to her face.
"Enough" Drakken slapped his hand against the off button on his clock radio "I've had enough of silly love songs"
Weary from the draining day Drakken slipped between the sheets of his bed. After an hour long staring contest with the ceiling, sleep finally overtook him. He was eight minutes into REM cycle sleep when his comforter was yanked away from his body.
His eyes snapped open "Shego, is that you? You've come back?"
"I always come back"
Drakken looked down at his pajamas "what if I had been naked what would you have done?"
"That's for me to know and for you to find out" she said with a smirk.
Drakken swallowed the cotton in his throat. "So….?"
"So I was thinking we could wing it, hope that the crap doesn't hit the fan. It's worth a shot right?"
"I'm ok with that." He then glanced at the clock "Valentines day will be around for a few more hours, do you want to catch a play or something?"
"Hell no" she replied.
"Oh thank the heavens." Drakken exclaimed "I hate plays. So what do you want to do for the rest of the day?"
"Actually I'd really like to figure out a way to take over the world" She said.
"Take over the world" sparkles shone in Drakken's eyes. "Yes I remember now a few seconds before you woke me up Shego I had a vision."
"A vision?"
"It's brilliant really, and it was inspired by you. You remember when you said I'd be a better politician than a mad scientist?"
"You don't mean--
"Shego we'll take over the world the legal way. I am going to run for President, and you'll be my running mate." He opened his arms out wide "what do you think?"
"Um"
Drakken stared at her expectantly.
She smiled "Why not?"
Drakken grinned "happy Valentines day Shego"
"Right back at ya Doctor D"
TBC
A/N Ok it wasn't EXACTLY a Valentines day fic but hopefully it was enjoyable. I know it's not my best work either. But there you go my first attempt at D/S. And man it was a pretty rough ride