A/N: This fic was inspired by a drawing by Kawaiibunny3, which can be found here http : / kawaiibunny3 . deviantart . com / art/ cl-sing-a-song-74793176 ...it's a plot bunny that's been bouncing around the inside of my head since I saw that pic, even though it took me a while to write. I was also inspired by the Barenaked Ladies song "Down To Earth", which (in my opinion) fits Raj/Patsy to a "T".

Also, I was experimenting a little with the writing style here...it's a little minimalistic, since, although it's written from a third-person perspective, I also tried to "get into Raj's head" a little. Meaning that a lot of things are described as if from Raj's point of view, so the description only really includes the kinds of details that Raj would bother to notice. ...It sounds a little weird, but I'm anxious for feedback on how well it worked (or whether it worked at all), since writing for Raj like this is REALLY fun.

AND ONE LAST NOTE: This fic posted in honor of Valentine's Day, since it DOES get just a little romance-y in there...

Just A Smile And A Song

(The Illustrious Crackpot)

It was the day she dropped an ice cream sandwich wrapper on his head that Raj finally realized that Patsy Smiles had no idea that he existed.

Okay, so he'd been standing next to a trash can at the time, and yes, she had been busy chatting with her friends rather than watching how she threw away her garbage. But still, had she known he existed, she would have noticed him standing there at least after she had released the wrapper, and she would have at least uttered an "Oh" or an "I'm sorry". But the fact of the matter was that she had walked on, and he had stood there with sticky ice cream residue on his forehead, and he had realized that she simply did not have any knowledge of his existence.

And that hadn't even been the first time Patsy had acted like that. Raj would be walking through the woods and suddenly she would crash into him, then step back, brush herself down, and go sprinting past him as if nothing had happened. Or he would be at the back of a line for something, and she would just step into the spot in front of him with an incredibly oblivious smile. Or he would be sitting somewhere and, with no warning, she would show up, remark, "Good, this seat's empty!" and sit right down on top of him.

Raj found it downright frightening! Why was it that Patsy never seemed to notice him? Was she blind or something?! ...No, she could always spot Lazlo from over a mile away. What WAS it that kept her from noticing him?? Was it the color of his eyes? The fact that he occasionally forgot to brush his teeth? HIS HAT?! OH, DEAR S.M.I.T.S., WHAT WAS IT??

B-but it wasn't like he cared if Patsy noticed him or anything!!

...Except, he did.

But that was because being ignored like that reminded him of what always happened to Samson, and if there was ANYTHING he didn't want, he didn't want to be like Samson!!

...Who was Samson, again?

Oh, yeah, that was the entire POINT.

And so Raj became determined to avoid becoming like that bespectacled guinea pig he vaguely remembered! HE WOULD MAKE PATSY NOTICE HIM IF IT WAS THE LAST THING HE DID!

It didn't work.

But not for lack of trying—he slipped notes under her door, made sure to compliment her profusely whenever he spotted her, stood directly in front of her at times, even spent an entire day wearing a flashing neon sign that read "HI! MY NAME IS RAJ! LOOK AT ME, PLEASE!".

At one point Patsy hung her beret on his trunk, mistaking him for a hat rack.

It was depressing. It was demoralizing. It was—

"What's'a matter, Raj?" Lazlo asked suddenly, startling the elephant boy in the midst of drowning his sorrows in marshmallows.

Raj hiccuped, straightening up spastically. "NOTHEENG! ABSOLOOTELY NOTHEENG!!"

Lazlo blinked. "Ya sure?"

"YES."

"...Really?"

"YES."

The monkey narrowed his eyes, a sly smile crossing his face. "...Reallyreallyreally, beyond a reasonable doubt, positively exactly SPECIFICALLY nothing?"

Raj gulped. "...Yes...?"

Lazlo blinked, then shrugged. "Okay then."

And so he went back to poking the ladybug he'd found mere moments before.

Raj let out a sigh, picking up a stick and scratching something in the sand. Just aimless doodles, really; he was too depresssssssssssssssssed to do much else. He was vaguely aware of Clam running around by the shore of Leakey Lake, searching for wildlife in the tide pools. If only life were that SIMPLE, Raj thought wearily, extending his problem into the realms of hyperbole. Oh, Clam, innocent little pygmy albino rhinoceros, you don't know the HORRORS I've experienced, the pure ATROCITIES committed! Consider yourself lucky, poor child, that you are merely a pygmy albino rhinoceros, with no sense of how the world runs, like your lovingly faithful and INTELLIGENT companion Raj—

Suddenly Raj noticed that, somewhere in between his increasingly less coherent mental ramblings, he had scratched a little picture of a heart into the sand with the name "Patsy Smiles" inside it.

Horrified, Raj attacked the blasphemous drawing, smacking it repeatedly with his stick and furiously rubbing it out with his sleeve, panting and gasping with the exertion. Forget the incident with Edward and the potted plants and the banana costume—THAT INSINUATION had been the most TERRIFYING thing he'd ever seen in his entire life!! GIRLS WERE THE ENEMY! THOU DOST NOT LOVE THY ENEMY! THOU ART ALLOWED TO TRY TO GET THY ENEMY'S ATTENTION ONCE IN A WHILE, ESPECIALLY IF THOU ART GETTING AN INFERIORITY COMPLEX BECAUSE THY ENEMY IST CONSTANTLY IGNORING THEE, BUT THOU SHALT NOT LOVE THY ENEMY!

Out of the corner of his eye, Raj saw Lazlo's tail twitch, and soon the monkey was up on his tiptoes, shading his eyes as he squinted at the lake. "Hey...is that Patsy?"

Raj nearly jumped out of his skin.

"Hey, Lazloooooo!" Patsy trilled about the same time that Raj got up the nerve to turn and look. She was perched on the edge of a white yacht, which had pulled up as close to the shore as it could go, with Nina and Gretchen standing behind her—Nina looking slightly amused, and Gretchen seeming outright irritated.

"Oh, hi, Patsy!" Lazlo called right back, trotting amiably down to the beach and smiling up at her. He passed Clam, who looked up, spotted the yacht, and with an uninterested "Ehhhhh" went straight back to his tide pools.

Casting a suspicious glance at his little patch of sand to make sure that the slanderous image had not reappeared, Raj stood—taking pains to make sure that he didn't seem too eager in doing so—and slunk very slowly over to the shore.

For a while he just lurked behind Lazlo, feeling properly sulky and fed up with the world, while his friend just stood there pleasantly and waited for Patsy to start a conversation. It took her a while to do so, as she seemed content to just sit there and toy with her hair, fluttering her eyelashes down at Lazlo, as Nina muffled giggles with her hand. But after a while, when Gretchen emitted an impatient growl from the depths of her throat, Patsy did cock her head and speak up.

"So, Lazlo...how've you been?"

Lazlo shrugged, still smiling, and Raj rolled his eyes irritably. "Not bad," the monkey replied candidly.

And they stood in silence for a moment longer.

Then Patsy leaned over the railing, affecting a softly sweet grin, and very pointedly locked eyes with Lazlo. "Aren't you going to ask me how I am, Lazloooo?"

The way she emphasized that name made Raj sick.

"OK then," Lazlo acquiesced, placing his hands on his hips. "How are you?"

She giggled, flashing pearly white teeth. "Just fine."

Raj just pursed his lips, glaring up at Patsy with the expression of someone who has just had some very sour lemon shoved into their mouth and is not amused. Patsy hadn't even looked at him ONCE during that entire conversation!! It was all LAZLO this and LAZLO that! How rude! (Among other things.)

Judging by the way her smile flickered ever-so-slightly, Patsy had been anticipating some kind of follow-up from her monkey beau. But she didn't let that deter her, and instead just brushed down her skirt, meticulously arranged her beret, and let it all out in one burst of breath. "I'mGoingToBeSingingAtARestaurantInPricklyPinesThisEvening!!"

Lazlo's eyes widened. "Wowwwwww...you are? COOOOOOOOOOL!!"

His excitement made it seem as though she'd just said that she'd be playing Carnegie Hall. Raj's scowl dissolved, and his big boxlike ears stiffened immediately. Singing? There was going to be music involved?

"Y-yeah!" Patsy replied breathlessly, her face beginning to flush a little. Nina nudged Gretchen, who snarled at her, and Patsy began playing with her hair again. "It's—Miss Doe's been giving us voice lessons, and she noticed that I really liked to sing and all, and so, and so, SHE SIGNED ME UP FOR OPEN MIKE NIGHT AT BEEF LUMBERJACKS!"

Clam muttered something unintelligible from where he sat, but Lazlo didn't seem to hear, instead becoming more and more jumpy with anticipation. "You are? You are? NEAT!!" Unable to contain the massive quantities of energy he was building up, he began to jog in circles around Raj, who stood rigidly still with a glassy expression on his face. "I can't believe it! You're actually going to be singing in Beef Lumberjacks? That's just like being a PROFESSIONAL SINGER! I bet you're gonna be on the lounge circuit before long! Just imagine that! A lounge singer! I KNOW A LOUNGE SINGER!!"

Up on the yacht, Patsy let out another stream of giggles, apparently becoming lightheaded from his intoxicating praise. She was on the verge of dissolving entirely into a puddle when Nina tapped her on the shoulder, and Patsy gasped in remembrance. "Oh yeah!" she chirruped. "Lazlo, do you want to come see?"

"WOULD I EVER! I'm gonna ask Scoutmaster Lumpus to let us all go down an' see ya tonight, and it'll be GREAT, an'—"

"DO YOU NEED ANY BACKGROUND MUSIC?"

The sudden question rang out like a shot, and both Lazlo and Patsy stopped short, staring at Raj, who merely quivered. Well, Lazlo stared at Raj; Patsy just continued looking down at Lazlo, a strangely bemused expression on her face.

"...What did you say, Lazlo?" she asked at length.

Lazlo blinked at her, then at Raj, clearly not understanding what was going on. Deciding that it didn't really matter (and since Raj had a look like he'd just short-circuited), Lazlo just returned to Patsy and stated, "Well, Raj asked if you needed any background music for your concert."

Patsy paused, then turned around to glance questioningly at Nina and Gretchen, who were both glancing questioningly at each other. Then she turned back to Lazlo, wearing a lopsided half-smile. "...Who's Raj?"

Lazlo scratched his head, pointing to his elephantine companion. "Um...Raj?"

Raj hiccuped—a sure sign that he was terrified out of his wits—but managed to speak up again. "DO YOU NEED ANY BACKGROUND MUSIC?"

This time Patsy seemed to actually see him, as she was very clearly staring down at him in mute astonishment.

"I—I—I—I—I CAN BE YOUR DEEJAY!" Raj stammered out, slowly gaining confidence as he began to tap his fingers together rapidly. "You—you joost need to tell me what you are going to sing, und tell me where to get somm equipment, und I can provide a mee-yuu-zih-cal background to your performance!! ...Eef dat's okay."

The girl didn't seem to know how to respond, as her jaws started working up and down noiselessly, and for a moment she almost slipped over the edge of the boat and into the lake. But she pushed herself upright, and her gaze returned instinctively to Lazlo, and she asked, "When did he show up?"

"...Um, Raj's been here the whole time, Patsy..."

"Really? ...Is he a new Bean Scout?"

"Ummm..." Lazlo rubbed his forehead. "Well, he's been here as long as I have..."

"...Are you sure about that?"

Lazlo looked at Raj, who was still staring anxiously up at Patsy, then nodded. "Yup."

Patsy still appeared skeptical of this fact, but fell into thought nonetheless, shooting glances alternately at her two boatside companions and at Lazlo. They all either nodded or shrugged, and so she looked, reluctantly, back at Raj, who seemed as though he was going to keel over at any given moment.

"...Okay, then...uhhhh...'Raj'...I guess it's all right..."

She proceeded to recite her playlist, so he knew what kind of music she needed for each song, and then said that she'd arrange to have someone bring the Squirrels' old, disused turntable to the restaurant—that was the only machine that they would allow a Bean to use. Raj nodded emphatically at every point, and she responded with another uncertain half-smile, and, after bidding an extremely extended goodbye to Lazlo, the yacht turned around and headed straight back to Acorn Flats.

"WOW, buddy!" Lazlo exclaimed as the boat drifted out of sight, slapping Raj on the back. The elephant stumbled forward, but otherwise didn't react. "You're gonna be playing for a LOUNGE ACT?! I know two lounge players now!! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW AWESOME THAT IS!!"

"Hoopla," Clam called from somewhere behind them.

Raj didn't hear either of them—neither Clam's sarcastic remarks nor Lazlo's incessant chatter. He was nearly boiling over with anticipation, so ecstatic about the day's accomplishment that nothing else seemed to matter. Patsy had noticed him! SHE KNEW HE EXISTED NOW! And tonight he would give her musical accompaniment that she would NEVER forget, and so she would remember him forever! She would tell her GRANDCHILDREN about him, and they would beg for the story of that virtuous, musically-talented elephant night after night after night, and she would respond with a sigh, "Ah, yes, I remember that elephant. I never noticed him before that night, but I remember him. His name was Raj, and that's something you must press into your mind so that you may tell your grandchildren about him someday!"

It would be the best night EVER.

Hours later, with nearly the entire population of Prickly Pines and the surrounding areas clustered into the cramped wooden halls of Beef Lumberjacks, Raj sat rigidly straight in his chair and listened to the flappingly rapid palpitations of his heart. He was ready. He was so, so so so, so so so so SOOOOOOOO ready for this! He didn't even hear the other performers as they came and went, singing their parts or performing comedy routines or whatever the hooey they were doing. It didn't matter. Soon it would be HIS hour of glory—it would be HIM on that stage, him and Patsy, and she would sing and he would give her music and she would never ever forget him and neither would ANYBODY in that entire building! He would be set for life, famous, known in all corners of the world, and everybody would ALWAYS know who he was and why he mattered!

It was after a very large armadillo had finished belching an entire chorus of "Piano Man" that Patsy looked over to him from the Squirrel Scouts' table—SHE WAS LOOKING AT HIM! SHE REMEMBERED HIS EXISTENCE!!—and nodded curtly. Raj nodded back, though he was less brief, as he forgot to stop even after he stumbled to his feet and instead just kept nodding until his head could nod no more. Then, after an encouraging pat on the back from Lazlo, Raj followed Patsy to a little alcove by the restaurant's side entrance, where...was her name Almondike? Almondinni? Well, whatever her name was, that owl girl was waiting there with a dust-covered turntable that looked old but usable. Patsy jerked her head pointedly at the equipment, still not deigning to speak to him—but that was okay, she'd have the courage to speak up in his undefinably empowering presence soon enough—and skipped lightly off, leaving Raj to lug the heavy equipment over to the area designated for the performers.

Once he managed it, huffing and panting and nearly breaking the turntable as his weak noodly arms dropped it all onto the wooden floorboards—he froze.

Patsy was seated neatly on a stool just behind her microphone, legs crossed primly, skirt draped delicately over her knees. He had seen her earlier that evening, had seen the modest, pale pink dress she'd managed to dig out of one of her suitcases, had seen the way her vibrant hair had been so carefully brushed and arranged to make it presentable. Maybe it was because of the glow being thrown on her from the large, old-fashioned lantern trained on her in lieu of an electric spotlight, but even though he'd seen it all already, it felt like he was laying eyes on her for the very first ti—

"What are you staring at?" Patsy snapped, voice lowered to a whisper, and Raj was jerked out of his unintended reverie. "Come on, hurry UP!"

Raj jumped, blushed a fine red (as much at being caught looking at an icky girl as it was at the fact that he was wearing his old Bean Scout uniform instead of anything fancier), and fumbled to arrange his equipment so he could reach everything he needed without too much effort. He was already mentally running through the playlist he had decided upon ever since Patsy had told him what she was going to sing—first a soft, smooth opening, which would start shortly after she started her first piece, then a bit of salsa music for the next one, transitioned into a bare percussion beat for the third and a rollickingly rousing accompaniment for her fourth and final tune. That last one was the one that counted; if he could get the audience wrapped up in Patsy's singing throughout the first three, and then WHAM them with the last one, the entire audience would fall in love with the duo! They'd throw roses, and parade the two of them around town, and the story of this four-song concert would become one of the mightiest legends that Prickly Pines had ever—

"HEY!"

Raj jumped again, but covered it up by pretending to move one of the speakers, and allowed himself a brief glance over the audience. Just as he'd thought, he affirmed as his heart began to speed up again, nearly everyone he'd ever seen in that town was in the audience, with the Beans and Squirrels taking up at least three long tables by themselves. Everyone was watching him—them.

EVERYONE.

"O-okay then," Patsy announced into the microphone, voice trembling just a little, once she'd decided that Raj was ready. "I'm Patsy Smiles, f-from the Squirrel Scout troop staying at Acorn Flats this summer, and I'm going to be singing a few selections for you. Next to me is..." Her smile faltered. "...Is..."

"Raj!" Raj managed, feeling sweat building up on his palms. He'd gotten so nervous so fast, he didn't even think to give his last name. "Raj. I'm Raj. Und I'm going to...I'm with the...I'm Raj..."

He chuckled nervously, and she chuckled nervously, and both of them took in parallel deep breaths. Then Patsy coughed, cast an experimental glance at Raj as if to make sure he was still there, and coughed once more before her expression became settled and she started to sing.

"Oh my darling,

Oh my darling,

Oh my darling Clementine..."

Raj gulped, and, as he had decided he would do at that point in the song, reached out to turn on the "soft music" mix, resplendent with tinkling (synthesized) piano and the light undercurrent of bells.

His hand met a speaker.

The elephant paused, heart nearly popping into his mouth. And he looked.

There was no "soft music mix" button there.

...And it hit him.

HE DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO WORK THIS EQUIPMENT.

He could see Patsy looking anxiously at him out of the corner of her eye, and he grinned in what he hoped was an encouraging way, though a nervous tic was jumping on his face. She coughed again—stalling for him??—and went on with the song.

"You are lost and gone forever

Oh my darling Clementine..."

HeWasNotGoingToPanicHeWasNotGoingToPanicHeWasNotGoingToPanicHeWasNotGoingToPanic!!

But he did.

WHERE ARE THE BUTTONS ON THIS MACHINE?? WHAT THE HECK DO THEY ALL DO?! WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?! WHAT DO I THINK I'M DOING?! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHGHGGHGHGHGGGHHHH!!11!!1!

Although each button, switch and lever on the old turntable had once been covered with neat little labels describing the intricacies of their functions, these labels had long since fallen off, gotten torn up, or been smudged into all oblivion. So Raj—horrified, panicky, and desperate—began to button-mash like there was no tomorrow.

The machine quacked. It beeped, and sputtered, and emitted random bars of something that sounded vaguely like techno music. Trying frantically to ignore the incredibly more terrified stares he was getting from Patsy, Raj kept smashing, hoping against all possible hope to land on the right thing.

He got salsa music.

Though still horrendously confused, Patsy took this as a cue to switch to her next song, which she did with only one quiveringly deep breath.

"Take me out to the ball game,

Take me out to the crowd—"

Now, had Raj let the salsa music continue playing as he had planned for that number, the song might have progressed without any further incident. But the fact of the matter was that Raj did not realize that Patsy had switched to the salsa-musicked song, and by the time the mongoose was "root root rooting for the home team", she was doing so to the sounds of HEAVY METAL.

Ooooooohkay, Raj, DO NOT PANIC!! YOU MUST NOT PANIC!! IT'S ALL GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT! NO, REALLY!

...OH, WHO'M I KIDDING, YOU'RE DOOOOOOOOMED!!

Finally, somehow, he managed to turn on the "soft music" mix, and with a sigh slumped back in his seat. Now Patsy could just start over from "Clementine", and now that he was (he thought) absolutely proficient with the machinery, her entire performance would go on completely smoothly.

But Patsy didn't realize that her divine mission at that point in time was to start over from "Clementine". Instead, she switched to her third song.

"Found a peanut,

Found a peanut,

Found a pea-nut last night,

Last night I found a peanut,

Found a peanut last night..."

Raj's eyes snapped open. WHAT WAS THIS BLASPHEMY?? The peanut song was supposed to be sung to a PERCUSSIVE BACKGROUND, not the soft music! Patsy was doing it all WRONG!!

She clearly didn't even notice.

"It was rotten,

It was rotten,

It was rot-ten last night..."

Fists clenched at his sides, nearly biting through his lower lip, Raj tried to ignore it. After all, the peanut song DID sound all right to the soft music...

"Last ni-ight it was rot-ten,

It was rotten la-ast night..."

NO! IT WAS HORRIBLE!! PATSY'S ANGELIC...ISH VOICE DESERVED BETTER THAN "OKAY" ACCOMPANIMENT! SHE NEEDED THE BEST THAT THERE WAS!!

He slammed another button.

And got an accordion solo.

Patsy stopped short, her shoulders jumping into the air as the mix blasted out of the speakers beside her. She glanced around fearfully—though never once looking at the audience, neither of them had the courage to look at the audience—and gulped, and whimpered, and began,

"Flintstones—

Meet the Flintstones—"

There was a sputter, a gasp, and a couple of clanks (four, to be exact) before the turntable exploded.

It was a rather spectacular explosion, actually; the machine shuddered, emitted a few puffs of smoke, and blew up into a thousand brittle little pieces. But all this Raj only learned from secondhand accounts later, as he was already sprinting for his life, diving for the door to the side entrance—

And Patsy was right behind him.

Before Raj could even stumble two steps into the alley, he was pinned against a wall, Patsy's hands closing like vices on his wrists, her nose mere inches from his face. Gone was the hesitancy, anxiety, confusion—she was absolutely positively beyond-a-doubt red-in-the-face LIVID.

"YOU STUPID ELEPHANT, RAJ!" she screamed, and he hiccuped with fear, too distracted to realize the irony in that, now that he finally had her full attention, he wanted nothing else but for her to ignore him. "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! YOU MEANT TO MAKE A FOOL OUT OF ME, DIDN'T YOU?! YOU'RE HORRIBLE, YOU...YOU JERK-FACE, YOU GARBAGE BOY, YOU STINKY OLD BANANA PEEL—"

"I...I, I—" he stammered.

"STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID!!" Her grip was tightening, his hands were getting numb, she was mere minutes away from bursting into tears. "WHY DID I TRUST YOU?! WHY IS LAZLO EVEN FRIENDS WITH YOU, YOU POOPY-HEAD? TOO STUPID TO EVEN WORK A STUPID TURNTABLE—"

"I—"

"—TOO STUPID TO CARE ABOUT A GIRL'S FEELINGS, OR HER PRIDE, OR SELF-ESTEEM—"

"I—"

Even with her eyes swimming in moisture, there was a blazing fire raging through them, and she shoved her face even closer to his as she kept on screaming. "WHY, RAJ?! WHAT SORT OF SADISTIC PLEASURE WOULD YOU GET OUT OF TORMENTING ME LI—"

At last Raj erupted, voice high-pitched in terror, hardly daring to look at her: "I—I joost wanted you to like me!"

And.

She.

Stopped.

"...what?..."

Raj gasped, chest heaving, gaze averted to the dirt-covered ground, a flaming red seeping into his cheeks, and was utterly unable to elaborate.

They stood there in silence for a few moments longer, Patsy too stunned to release her captive, Raj too mortified to try to duck out of her grip. Then Patsy's lips parted, and she seemed about to say something when—

"Hey, there you are!" beamed Lazlo, and both Raj and Patsy snapped around to stare at him. His hand was still on the doorknob and he was leaning out of the restaurant, apparently oblivious to the intense drama that had taken place in the alley not even ten seconds before his arrival. "Everyone's looking for you guys, you GOTTA come back!"

Suddenly aware of her close proximity to Raj, Patsy flusteredly jumped back, wiping her sweaty palms on her pink skirt. Raj just slid down the length of the wall as though Patsy's grasp had been the only thing holding him up.

"Go—go back?" Patsy stammered incredulously, gaze flickering (seemingly unconsciously) between monkey and elephant. "Wh—wh—"

"Of course!" Lazlo cut in, jumping up and down on his tiptoes in excitement. "You guys were the best act ALL NIGHT! Everybody's still laughing about it—it's the funniest comedy-song routine I've ever SEEN!! How'd'ja get the machine to explode like that, anyways? IT WAS SO COOL!"

Raj blinked, and blinked, and, when he spoke, his voice was trembling. "De...de best? US?"

"DUHHHHHH!!" Bouncing from foot to foot, Lazlo looked like he was trying very hard to restrain himself from grabbing the pair by their arms and physically dragging them back into the restaurant. "That's why you gotta come back in to do your ENCORE! Everybody's gonna remember it years an' YEARS from now!"

They...ARE?...

Suddenly, without warning, Patsy had stepped between Raj and Lazlo, facing the monkey boy. "We'll be back inside in a minute," she was saying hurriedly, clasping her hands together. "He...Raj and I have to have a quick talk."

Apparently pacified, Lazlo hopped back inside the building and scampered off, leaving the door slightly ajar. As soon as he was aware that he was indeed alone with Patsy, Raj quivered, shoulders hunching—afraid of something, but he wasn't quite sure what...

"Raj."

The name was spoken softly, and he looked up at Patsy, who standing just in front of him. She was...she was smiling. At HIM.

"...Patsy?"

She sighed, and ran a hand through her hair, but the sweet, tentative, forgiving grin lingered in place. They had a bit more silence for a while, and all sorts of possible words and phrases and paragraphs were whirling through Raj's chest, bursting to get out. And then one made it.

"'Joo wanna...give them dat encore?"

Another pause.

"Sure."

Remembering his position, Raj began to squirm, preparing to push himself up to his feet. Then he was aware of a slim, dainty brown hand extended in his direction, and he looked up, and she nodded, and he grasped it, allowing her to pull him up. And, although the contact made his insides jump, and although she didn't let go even after they had stepped through the door...

Actually, none of the "although"s mattered. Surprisingly, Raj realized, neither did the eager audience he knew was waiting for their return.

It was on the day that Patsy Smiles finally recognized his existence that Raj realized that he didn't particularly care if anyone else knew who he was.

And, he deliberated long afterwards, still remembering the soft and sticky touch of a mongoose's hand, maybe girls aren't all THAT bad after all...

Finis