Author's Note: So, remember when I said I was going to post this chapter soon? Well, that obviously didn't work out so well because this chapter ended up needing multiple rewrites and life kinda got in the way of that. The last couple months have been some of the busiest I've ever endured, but the good news is that I'm done with all that was keeping me busy. All of it. And I come bearing gifts of a final chapter. So yay! I hope you enjoy this. I haven't decided what my next project (besides responding to feedback) will be yet, but there will very likely be another project coming. Happy reading!

Meredith sat on an empty gurney in the hallway near the surgical wing, oblivious to the whir of activity going on around her. The test results had confirmed the blockages Derek had been concerned about, and her mother was being prepped for cerebral angioplasty.

"Shepherd requested me. Shocker, there," Cristina interrupted as she sat on the gurney beside Meredith. Her hair was drawn up into her scrub cap, making her sarcastic expression look more severe than normal.

Meredith snapped back into reality. "What?"

"I get to scrub in on your mom," Cristina said. She locked her elbows and pushed her shoulders up as her legs dangled off the side of the mattress.

"Oh," Meredith said. It wasn't too surprising. Derek needed an intern, and he knew that Meredith would be comforted to have her best friend watching over him, protecting her mother. "Good," she whispered.

"I really can't imagine what it must have been like for someone like your mother to get early onset Alzheimer's," Cristina said.

Meredith sucked her lips between her teeth and nodded. Ellis had barely talked to her when she'd received the diagnosis and had waited to share the details until the disease progressed to the point of making it necessary.

"It would suck for anyone, but…Ellis Grey—had to be devastating," Cristina continued.

Meredith's eyebrows lifted. "Are you upset that I didn't tell you about it?" she asked. She didn't think she could handle another argument over things she should've said but never had.

Cristina scrunched her face and shook her head no. "Why would I be upset? It's your mom," she answered.

Meredith sighed with relief. "You're not angry to find out this way?"

Cristina laughed. "No," she said. "Of course not. I don't need to know all your deep, dark secrets."

A weak smile crept across Meredith's face. This was why Cristina was her confidante. "He's mad I didn't tell him," she said. Tears crowded the lower lids of her eyes all over again, and she tried to force them away by making her smile bigger. "I think we're done."

Cristina's jaw dropped, and her eyebrows got lost somewhere beneath her scrub cap. "He's gonna dump you for this after he hid his wife?"

Meredith shrugged. That wasn't exactly the way the conversation had gone down, but she wasn't sure that Cristina would understand the layers of guilt and conflict this issue raised with Derek. "Not exactly, but…" She wrung her hands together. "It's fine. He's going to do the surgery, and that's all that matters."

Cristina's face twisted into an expression that said, "yeah, whatever." She scooted off the gurney and reached her arms over her head into a long stretch. "I need to finish prepping her, so…"

"Yeah, you should go," Meredith said.

"She'll be okay, you know," Cristina stated. It wasn't even a question in her mind or her voice.

"I know," Meredith said. "Thanks."

Meredith watched Cristina walk down the hall with the same confidence and determination she always shouldered. She envied that about Cristina. No matter what the challenge or circumstance, Dr. Yang would kick its freaking ass. Meredith, however, sometimes left herself open to be on the receiving end of the ass kicking.

Distractions. It was going to take a while to operate, and she needed something to occupy her mind in the interim—something besides Derek and the surgery and his ultimatum. She'd already been taken off duty for the day, and although she was still in her scrubs, the fear of getting caught by Bailey served as enough of a deterrent from even venturing to the pit. The cafeteria was another option, but the snakes writhing through her gut left no room for food. She could change her clothes, maybe grab a textbook, and curl up in some corner to study. If the corner happened to be in the gallery of the OR her mom was in, so be it.

Her body transitioned into autopilot as she navigated the halls of Seattle Grace. She wondered how similar the halls had looked when her mother had roamed them so many years ago. Ellis had probably known every nook and cranny of the hospital by the end of her intern year. She'd probably specialized in key details like what halls to avoid when in a hurry or what wings were best to slip away to when she needed space. If Ellis had been honest in her confession about having an affair here, she would've known a lot about the on-call rooms, too.

Meredith shuddered. She hadn't wanted to know that detail about her mother, yet somehow, she found it comforting. Part of her had always wondered if she'd been a catalyst for her parents' divorce, and now, at least, she had a plausible alternate explanation.

As she finished changing into street clothes, she wished she'd never taken an interest in neurosurgery. If she'd never done that, she never would have sought him out in the neurology discussion group. He could've ended up in Seattle anyway, but at least then, there wouldn't have been this history between them. If their paths had crossed and they'd found themselves interested in each other, it would've been far less complicated. Far, far less complicated than a situation with mommies and ex-wives and secret rendezvous and ultimatums.

Meredith sauntered back to the OR gallery and was surprised to see Izzie and Alex already huddled in a corner to watch the procedure. An area of snacks and textbooks were spread out on the ledge in front of the window, creating a mini-buffet as they chatted on, unaware of Meredith.

"News travels fast," Meredith said as she walked down the steps to the front row toward them.

Izzie jumped, startled. "Oh my god, Meredith," she said. "Are you okay?"

Meredith huffed as she took a seat beside Alex. "Yeah, I'm fine." It was her stock answer for everything.

"Shepherd's doing the surgery?" Alex prodded. It wasn't a real question; Derek's name was clearly written on the OR board outside.

"He is," Meredith said numbly.

"Is he okay with it given, you know, everything?" Izzie asked.

Meredith shrugged. "Not exactly." She hugged her textbook against her chest. "I have a choice."

"A choice?" Izzie echoed.

"After the surgery, we're either breaking up or going to the Chief," Meredith said.

Alex crinkled his nose and shook his head. "That's rough," he said.

Izzie cast him a disbelieving glare before resuming her efforts to support Meredith. "I'm sure the Chief will be completely understanding—"

"I don't know. I haven't decided if that's what I'm going to do yet." As soon as the words left her lips, she found herself on the receiving end of Izzie's disapproval.

"How can you still be thinking about this?"

"How can she not?" Alex responded.

The three sat in silence and watched as the anesthesiologist below monitored Ellis and waited for the thiopental to take full effect so Derek could begin. Ellis was barely recognizable beneath the maze of sheets and wires and endotracheal tubes. Meredith preferred that; it made it easier to pretend this was a standard procedure that involved a random patient. She'd watched Derek perform several of those successfully. This would be no different.

"Let's consider your options," Izzie continued after a few minutes. "Say you stay with Dr. Shepherd. What happens?"

Meredith took in a deep breath. "Then I become the slutty intern that seduced the department head to get special treatment."

"She would probably get blacklisted from procedures," Alex added. "Everyone would talk."

Izzie shook her head disdainfully. "What if you transferred to Mercy West?"

Alex responded before Meredith even had a chance. "Mercy West? Seriously? She may as well transfer to peds or dermatology."

Meredith snickered. She felt like a cartoon character with an angelic Izzie sitting on one shoulder and a devilish Alex sitting on the other. They could just debate her life for her. "Yeah, it's really not what I had in mind," she agreed. If she stayed with Derek, she'd have to accept her fate as the spectacle to behold. A cautionary tale for all future interns to prove the policy that barred relationships between interns and attendings.

"So, you'd break up with him?" Izzie seemed mortified by the prospect, as if she was the one getting dumped.

Meredith stared down at the OR and watched Derek walk into the room. "I don't know," she mumbled.

It took him a moment to notice her in the gallery, but he froze as soon as he did. With the cover of his surgical mask and ferryboat scrub cap, the only facial feature clearly visible was his eyes, but she'd learned to read them well. An endless abyss of concern swirled with fear and sadness there, and she knew she was the source. She forced herself to smile at him and nod, encouraging him on, but she wasn't sure it was enough.

Cristina noticed Meredith's presence next, and Bailey soon followed. Bailey shook her head and stepped back from the operating table, ready to call up to the gallery and order Meredith to leave, but Derek must have mumbled something to stop her. She returned to the circle of doctors and nurses and watched Derek.

"You have to go to the Chief," Izzie said. Her voice was strong, almost angry. "You guys love each other. You have to go—"

"Izzie," Alex interjected. "It's not our decision. It's not that simple."

Izzie stood up and gathered her snacks and books, agitation evident in her sharp movements. "No, it is that simple. Do you even get how lucky you are?" she said, pausing to turn toward Meredith. "You think going to the Chief is bad? Imagine spending the next several years working with Derek, knowing what you gave up."

Meredith felt nauseous. Izzie had a point. How could she scrub in on his surgeries, study his every move, and not remember how safe she'd felt when he'd held her in his arms and kissed the top of her head? Or his ability to turn everything into sexual innuendo? How could she ride another ferryboat or sleep in another on-call room without wanting to smell his aftershave on her skin? He'd shattered the fortress she'd spent years building for herself.

"It still might be better than spending the rest of her career forced into a field other than neuro because no one would trust them working together," Alex said.

Meredith was being drawn and quartered, the ropes tugging her strongly in all directions.

Izzie glared at Alex one last time before storming toward the door. "I need to study," she grumbled as she stomped past. "I hope your mom's okay," she said to Meredith.

"Thanks," Meredith whispered. She leaned back in her seat and continued to stare down at the scene below. "You think I'll have to give up neuro?" she asked softly once Izzie left the room.

Alex shrugged and folded his arms across his chest. "I don't know," he said. "Maybe." He paused for a long time and seemed to be lost in thought. "I know that your mom has been as much a curse as a blessing for you," he said. "You've had to work your ass off to prove that you got here on more than just your name. I get that. I get why this is a tough decision," he said. "And I'll support you either way."

Meredith felt the tears begin to rise and swell all over again, but she fought them back. "Thanks," she said. "I'll need it."

Alex patted her arm soothingly, as a brother would do, just as the gallery door opened again. Meredith expected to see Izzie return to make one final point, but instead, the Chief stood in the doorway.

"Meredith," he said, unable to mask his own surprise.

"I should go," Alex said. He gathered his stuff quickly and escaped like he was leaving a party moments before the police would arrive to break it up.

"Hi," she said to Richard. She shifted in her seat and opened her textbook, but she could feel the weight of his stare upon her. She looked up again and closed her book, leaving the highlighter inside to mark her place. "I know family members don't usually get to be up here," she said, "but I thought maybe—"

"Don't worry," he interrupted. He wove into the aisle of chairs and took one beside Meredith. "I'm not here to kick you out." He looked down at the OR table, and his authoritative expression began to melt away. "She has Alzheimer's?" he asked quietly, although the question seemed to echo in the now empty gallery.

"You heard about that?"

"I read her chart."

Meredith curled her fingers around the side of her textbook, trying to crush the highlighter inside. "She was diagnosed during my last year of med school. It's the reason I chose to come here, sir."

Richard nodded without tearing his eyes away from Ellis's form beneath them. "I wish you'd told me. I would've visited her had I known."

Meredith smiled. "I'm sure she would've liked that," she said. A small laugh escaped her lips. "I bet she still will."

Richard looked sheepish as he glanced back at Meredith. "Of course," he said.

Meredith took a deep breath and tried to relax. Richard seemed far more intent on watching the surgery than striking up a conversation with her, and she was grateful. Surprised, but grateful. She hadn't expected to see him in the gallery this late, and she hadn't expected him to be so concerned about Ellis's condition. She'd seen him react to surgeries on colleagues before, but this seemed to be different. It was as if he was watching over one of his own – a person he cared for and loved like Meredith did for Cristina, Izzie, Alex, and George.

Meredith ran her teeth over her lip as a thought danced through her head. He'd shared a past with her mom. Did he know about her mother's secret lover?

"So, you two started your internship together?" Meredith asked. She held her breath as she waited for the response.

Richard nodded. "We were in the same group on day one through the end. Even chose the same specialties," he said. "She was really something. Made me a better surgeon. Forced me to learn more just to keep up with her."

"You must have known her well," Meredith mused. She watched for any subtle hints in his reaction.

Richard lifted his eyebrows, but didn't stop staring at Ellis. "You could say that," he said. A nostalgic smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. "Sometimes I'd say she knew me better than I knew myself."

"You were close?" she said. Her fingers tensed around the spine of the textbook.

Richard nodded, seemingly lost in nostalgia, before his expression hardened. "It was a long time ago," he said.

Meredith was beginning to grow suspicious and her curiosity only increased. She needed some little kernel of information – a hint about the man that turned her mother into a giddy school girl when they'd talked. "My mother talks about you a lot," she lied. "She likes to live in the past these days."

Richard flinched. "Really?" he said. He was becoming visibly uncomfortable, and he shifted away from Meredith in his chair. "What does she say?"

"I know about her affair," Meredith said bluntly. She wasn't directly accusing him, but she knew she'd find the truth in his reaction. Either he'd admit to the affair, or he'd lead her in the right direction of the man it had been with.

Richard looked back toward the door of the gallery. She couldn't decide if he was surveying the room to confirm they were still alone or just avoiding her. He took a deep breath and turned his attention back toward the surgery. "It's not something I'm particularly proud of," he mumbled.

Meredith felt the blood rushing toward her cheeks. She'd expected to be angrier about this, but instead, she felt like a gawker at a train wreck. Even if hers was the body trapped inside the wreckage, she'd already expended too much energy on other issues to feel more pain now.

"It lasted much longer than it ever should have," he said. "We were foolish for thinking we could keep things confined to the hospital, and we hurt a lot of people." He still wasn't looking at Meredith, and she felt like she was sitting on the opposite side of a confessional.

She swallowed hard and her heart thumped wildly against her sternum, beating in her ears. "Did you love her?" She wasn't sure if or why it mattered, but she needed to know his answer.

"Yes," he said without any hesitation.

She sensed that maybe he still did.

"How did it end?" She didn't think she'd ever get another opportunity to ask this of either one, and she needed to capitalize on the moment as much as possible.

Richard sighed. It seemed to be painful for him to talk about it, and Meredith almost felt guilty for taking advantage of his remorse. "When Ellis decided to leave Thatcher, she wanted me to leave Adele. I considered it for a while, but your mother was very driven – like I see in you with neuro. I always knew she'd put her career first, and I couldn't bring myself to hurt Adele. I knew your mom would be okay on her own, so I stayed."

Meredith nodded. Even as he talked about it now, she could hear the doubt and uncertainty in his voice. She wondered how different her life could have been if she'd been raised by Richard and her mom. What would it have been like to have a father figure? How different would those last few months in Seattle have been before they moved to Boston? An alternate version of her life flashed before her eyes, and she couldn't help but resent Richard for abandoning her mother.

She couldn't help but resent her mother for choosing her career over her and their hope for a family, either. Ellis had never been the type to find a balance between the two, and Meredith could never compete with the opportunity for a surgery.

Meredith stared down at the OR and watched Derek work meticulously to clear the blockages in her mother's basilar artery. He glanced up at her and lifted his eyebrow when he noticed the company she was in, but she did her best to smile reassuringly back.

"It's not something I'm proud of, and I'm sorry for any problems it caused you, Meredith." Richard folded his hands together and leaned forward. "You can't help who you love, and sometimes you can't help who you hurt."

"I know what you mean," Meredith said. It was one of the many lessons Derek had already taught her.

They watched more of the surgery, lost in quiet contemplation. Meredith couldn't believe that she'd extracted such a confession from the Chief, and her perception of him changed completely. He wasn't the threatening figurehead she'd built him up to be anymore. He'd made choices that somehow bound him into her personal life.

I always knew she'd put her career first…

Her mother had chosen her career over a man she'd loved, and she ended up alone. She'd wanted to delay exposure of their relationship until after her intern exams, but what if Derek wouldn't wait for her or was too hurt by her putting her career first? Could she live with herself knowing she'd had this amazing relationship that she'd walked away from? It was only a few more weeks, but still. She hated the idea of losing him even temporarily. She'd liked their previous arrangement and the built in delay before being open about things.

The thoughts ran through her brain, bouncing back and forth like ricocheting ping pong balls until she was too tired to process them anymore.

"I'm in a relationship," she blurted.

Confusion washed over Richard's face. "You're…" He folded his hands together and appeared more fatherly than bossy. "That's good. I'm happy for you."

Meredith blinked. She'd left out the most important part. "No, you're not happy. At least, you shouldn't be. It's with Dr. Shepherd."

The Chief-of-Surgery-Head-of-the-Whole-Freaking-Program façade returned. "Excuse me?"

"He wanted to tell you months ago. Months – that's how long it's been going on. Before he moved here and took the job and became my boss and told me about Addison, we had a thing." She could feel Richard staring at her. She just needed to keep talking. "And now it's complicated because he says gooey stuff about love and our future that makes me kinda want those things enough that here I am, babbling about our relationship and risking my ability to specialize in the field where he'd be supervising me." She exhaled what little breath was left after her rant, and the reality of what she'd said began to hit her. "I really want to become a neurosurgeon. That part's not a Derek thing, just so you know. That part's always been there."

The Chief grunted. Meredith couldn't bring herself to look directly at him, but she could see him staring at the OR below in her peripheral vision. He didn't seem like he was getting ready to yell or storm out, but he didn't seem overjoyed either.

"Hospital policy says that he can't be your supervisor. That's not my policy, that's the Board," Richard stated.

Meredith instantly deflated like a balloon that hadn't been tied. She wished she'd thought this through more.

Of course he'd say that.

"But…" He hesitated as if looking for precise words. "You and Derek should come to my office tomorrow, and maybe we can talk through some alternate arrangement," he said. He placed his hands on his knees and pushed himself up out of the chair.

"Okay," Meredith said, dumbfounded.

"And as a family member of the patient, you shouldn't be in the gallery," Richard said sternly. "I'm not about to bend all the rules for you."

Meredith glanced back at the OR and nodded. She knew the Chief was only half-serious in his order, but she wasn't about to push her luck. The surgery was wrapping up, and everything seemed to be under control. She gathered her things and followed Richard out the door.

Meredith walked to her mother's room. She knew Ellis would be in recovery for at least another hour before they brought her back to her hospital room, but Meredith thought it would be the best place to wait. She'd be undisturbed for a while, and she wanted time to herself to consider the magnitude of the day's events. A padded chair in the corner of the room looked like the best possible waiting place, so she moved it out closer to the empty bed and folded into it so she was sitting sideways with her legs bent and feet up on the chair with her. She hugged her knees into her chest and rested her forehead against them. Exhaustion weighed heavily on her, and before long, she was lost in sleep.

When Meredith woke up, she was surrounded by the quiet hum of monitors, and a blanket was draped over her. Her mother was back in the room, and she couldn't believe she'd managed to sleep through that transition. She must have been more tired than she thought. A dim light shone in the corner of the room, and Derek was sitting there with a mound of paperwork in his lap. Despite his exhaustion, he continued to work, and he didn't seem to notice that she was awake. It couldn't have been the most comfortable place to be working, and his presence surprised her.

Meredith pulled the blanket tightly around her and shifted in the chair. "Hey," she whispered.

Derek looked up from his papers and smiled. "Hi," he whispered back. He shuffled the paperwork out of his lap and onto a nearby cart. "I don't know how you managed to sleep in a chair like that. How's your back?"

Meredith shrugged. "It's fine," she said. In reality, she was tense and stiff from the awkward position she'd been sleeping in, but she didn't want him to worry. "I'm flexible," she said.

"I know," he answered. A suggestive grin spread across his lips but soon evaporated.

"How is she?" Meredith asked as she turned her attention back to her mother. Many of the same monitors from the OR were still in place, and it was hard to see her mother like that. She'd become so frail in the last year as it was. The army of machines only made her more Lilliputian.

Derek stood up and carefully carried his chair beside Meredith's. "She's fine," he said. "Everything is within expected limits." He sat back down beside her and sighed. "I'll need to monitor her for the next 24 hours and make sure the stents hold, but I think she'll be okay."

Meredith frowned. If everything was normal, why was he hovering? Why had he camped out in her mother's room like that? Was it for her? Her mother? She had to ask.

"If she's okay, then why are you here?" It came out sounding harsher than she'd intended. She loved that he was there when she woke up, keeping vigil over her mother.

Derek winced and his expression was flooded with sadness all over again. "I told you I wasn't going anywhere," he explained. His voice was gravelly and full of emotions she couldn't entirely pinpoint. Anger? Hurt? Defiance?

Meredith softened. She couldn't continue to provoke him. "Thanks," she said. "It's nice to have you here. You really don't have to stay, but I'm glad you did." She reached over and ran her fingers over his arm. His skin was cool to the touch, but it had an underlying sense of warmth that Meredith longed for.

"Of course," he whispered. He was still tentative in his words and behaviors. "Look, I'm…I'm sorry about before – in the supply closet. I was angry, but I shouldn't have insisted…To put you in that situation when you were already stressed."

"It doesn't matter," Meredith said, shrugging.

"Of course it matters—"

"No, I mean... yeah, it sucked, but it doesn't matter because I already talked to the Chief."

Derek's eyes nearly sprang from their sockets. "You did?" he stammered.

"I think so," Meredith said. She could feel blood burning her cheeks as she blushed. "To be honest, I'm not entirely sure what I said exactly, but we're supposed to meet in his office tomorrow to figure out the logistics of all this."

"You went to Richard?" Derek asked, still disbelieving.

Meredith giggled uncomfortably. "Yeah, I did."

He drew her closer to him, and the corners of his eyes crinkled, highlighting the deep blue of his eyes. "Meredith," he whispered. His breath was warm and damp against her ear.

She smiled and turned until her lips met his and kissed him like a long lost lover who'd been separated from her for years, not hours. She hadn't known how much she needed his touch until she found herself lost in it once again. It still wouldn't be easy to face the Chief or Bailey or her peers, and she knew they'd be dealt professional challenges as a result, but no matter what road this decision set her on, she'd endure however many the miles it took to make things work.

Derek pulled away first, but he continued to run his fingers through her hair and along her cheek. "Are you okay with this?" he asked.

Meredith nodded, and his fingers tickled the side of her face as her head moved. Having all of her secrets exposed left her feeling liberated. It was exhilarating.

Derek turned in his chair and wrapped his arm around Meredith, hugging her toward him as they watched over her mother. If anyone were to walk in, there would be no mistaking the fact that they were together, but it didn't matter anymore.

Sunrise was only a few hours away. Meredith and Derek sat together in silence, knowing that when the sun streamed through the windows and glowed reddish-orange over the bridge at Seattle Grace, they would step out of the shadows and walk across to the Chief's office.

Together.