A Love Unrequited

For Niver… I hope you like it!

I sure as hell don't. DDDD:

Disclaimer: Nope.

"I love you Sasuke."

Sasuke looked at Suigetsu, who looked down at his ever present water bottle. Karin, on the other hand, looked ready to fuck someone up, namely Suigetsu. Juugo held her back with a calm hand.

The Uchiha sighed. "I'm sorry Suigetsu…" he replied. "But we aren't meant to be."

Karin cheered while Suigetsu looked devastated. "Whaddaya mean we aren't meant to be?!" he exclaimed. "I'm a mutated human, you're a mutated human, I think it's a match made in heaven!"

Sasuke placed a hand on Suigetsu's slippery feeling arm. He winced at the touch, purely because it just felt weird to be touching a watery human.

"Suigetsu, one of my best jutsu is Katon-no-Jutsu… I don't want you to turn into steam just because of a passionate lovemaking affair…"

Suigetsu looked irked. "Uh, are you implying that you blow fire from your mouth during sex?" he asked.

Sasuke nodded emotionlessly. "Yes. Yes I do."

"…Well, I'm a natural penis enhancement!"

Juugo choked on his own spit, and Sasuke immediately moved to help him.

The black-haired teen glared at his subordinate. "Look at what you've done!" he scolded. "You made Juugo uncomfortable with you speech of penis enhancement."

"He's a big boy…literally…he can handle a little shock. Besides, I really truly kind of love you, Sasuke!"

Sasuke looked away. "…I love you too…"

(It shall be mentioned here that the words "sort of" don't really seem that important…until put after certain phrases.)

"…sort of."

Suigetsu seethed. "Well why the hell not?" he demanded. "I'm, I dunno, PERFECT for you! We're, like, complete opposites! Like a square and a circle that form to create a HEART!"

Sasuke stared. "A circle and square do not form a heart," he deadpanned. "They form a squircle. The bastard child of a circle and a square."

The white-haired Mist ninja threw up his hands in defeat. "Well excuse me for my ignorance!" he retorted. "It's not my fault that NOBODY explained the basics of shapes and their love lives to me as a child!"

Karin nodded. "See, Sasuke? THAT is why you should not be with him, because he is a complete dumbass!"

"Bitch!" growled Suigetsu. "Why don't you say that to my face?"

"Fine! You. Are. A. Complete. Moron."

"You know what? Let's take this outside!"

"We're already OUTSIDE, you dipshit!"

"Well then, that makes everything easier!"

"Guys, we shouldn't be fighting," Juugo said hoarsely. "We should be friends and stay united in unity or something."

Suigetsu and Karin both paused in their bickering to stare at him.

"Are you some kind of ninja-hippie?" the Mist ninja asked incredulously. Juugo sighed and looked away, making the arguing two continue in doing what they do best. Argue.

Sasuke sighed. "I don't think arguing is sexy at all."

And all was silent.

"Good, now let's get going."

And get going they did, beginning the long, fruitless trek of life and Itachi-related things.

"C'mon Sasuke, you don't even love me a little more than sort of?"

"Ask me again later, after I've killed my brother."

But mainly Itachi-related things.

The END

I was totally going somewhere with this, but I got lost halfway through and fell asleep on my keyboard.

I'm serious, it was like "…I love you Sasuke okfhdjhsdgfhagysgfbjshdga;;sadl;lad THE END"

I revised it, so that it was a little better.

It's these new drugs, they knock me out so easily! I'm actually serious!

DDDD: I'll try harder next time, Niver!