Summary: Watari's calling, Misa's pounding on the door, Ryuk's watching and asking questions… Yet another couple that just can't get any privacy. Raito/L one-shot.

Rated M for being a huge sexual reference.

Word Count: 2,583

Disclaimer: Never shall I own any character used.

Men Interrupted 3: Death Note Style

…

It was a quiet, peaceful day. The entire building was silent, L having given the detectives on the Kira case a much-appreciated day off to spend time with families and out in the sun's warm glow. This left the headquarters entirely to L and Raito, constantly handcuffed together and never once leaving the building.

…

"Nn-"

L had taken the liberty of shutting off all cameras in the bedroom they shared, and the door to said bedroom was locked. They were cautious, just in case someone decided to stop by.

The room itself was brightly lit by the light overhead. It was a plain room, merely with a large bed, a table and dresser. The dark, thick curtains were tightly shut to block out the outside world.

…

The sound of a thin chain moving pierced the silence. Raito paused at his lover's pale chest, grunting in annoyance against his skin.

"Get these off."

A tiny silver key was brought from L's pocket, quickly threading it into the keyhole on the cuff on his own wrist. The metal went slack, then went to work on Raito's own cuff. It took barely a few seconds for the handcuffs to be completely shrugged off, falling to the floor with a thud to already be forgotten.

…

"Ah…"

A quiet chuckle escaped. "You usually don't make sounds…"

…

A shirt was tossed unceremoniously, hitting the back wall before falling to a heap on the floor.

…

The faint sound of jeans being unzipped went ignored.

…-

BAM BAM BAM!

L practically jumped out of his skin, gasping at the sudden intrusion. Raito's entire body tensed, hands freezing on the other detective's jeans. He instantly put a finger on L's lips to silence him.

"RAITO! ARE YOU IN THERE?"

Said person mentally growled. He suddenly wanted to fetch the Death Note and finally rid himself of Misa. He controlled himself enough to keep from groaning in exasperation.

The doorknob rattled, attempting to let herself inside. The brunette watched L's wide eyes look at him.

"I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!" She pounded on the door a few more times. When that didn't seem to do anything, she took hold of the doorknob and pulled repeatedly, shaking the whole door. "ARE YOU SLEEPING? WELL, I KNOW YOU'RE NOT ANY MORE! RYUUZAKI, GET RAITO UP!" The door rattled more as emphasis.

The couple relaxed as Misa pounded on the door some more. L brought Raito lower to whisper in his ear. "Can she not think to pick a simple lock?"

Raito gave him a skeptical look- was he kidding? This was Misa… L nodded, understanding.

Misa huffed in frustration. "Fine!"

Silence reigned once again. A moment passed, then two. Sure that the bubbly actress was finally gone, the lovers gave a sigh of relief. L's dark eyes looked up into deep emerald; both pairs were still glazed over in lust.

"Continue?" he quietly asked, simple, eager to go on.

Raito could sense his excitement. A wide smirk appeared upon his lips. His hands finished undoing the jeans, beginning to slide the articles of clothing down. "Of course."

…

…

…

A faint buzzing could be heard in the dead silence. The jeans were only down to L's knees and still in Raito's hand. The brunette could feel them slightly vibrate in his grasp. Both attentions went to it, quizzical.

"Oh!" L's face lit up, suddenly understanding. His right hand dove down to his pocket, fishing around in its folds. His cell phone emerged from it, the buzzing and vibrating becoming more pronounced. He laid back down as he flipped it open. "Yes, Watari?" he answered.

Raito glared down at his lover for answering it, let alone bringing it into the room in the first place. L took to ignoring him, listening to Watari.

"What is it?"

The younger detective's impatience was already flaring and poked at L's partially exposed thigh, telling him to hurry it up.

The hand not holding the phone reached down, tangling amongst velvety brown locks. "Why?"

Raito stared down at the other's nudity, waiting. L still wasn't paying any attention to him, having more interest in what Watari had to say. But it'd been forever since they'd had the chance to do this, and now L would rather talk? He wasn't to have that… A conniving smirk graced his lips, leaning downward. His lips parted, his teeth white as they nipped at the inside of L's thigh, knowing exactly what it would do.

L hissed, his voice not as crisp and collected as he continued to talk. "Kind of…"

Raito continued his attack, making a slow, steady line upward. The higher he went, the more sensitive the skin appeared to become.

The detective let out a shuddering breath, fingers tightening in Raito's hair. He didn't catch what Watari had said, being momentarily distracted. "What?"

He was inches away, then taking to kissing and licking at the reddening marks he'd made. He wanted so badly to smirk, looking up in time to see L pull the phone away from his ear to openly pant at his teasing. His ego was fueled, pleased with himself. He could just barely hear the assistant still talking away on the other end, not knowing that L was far from listening.

…

Raito heard a pause on the on the phone, then a question be asked. He nipped harder at a particularly sensitive spot, practically daring him to answer it.

"Nn!" He quickly put it back to his ear. "Yes, of course-" Raito bit closer to nether regions. "Ah-! But now's not a good time," he said rather breathlessly.

The phone was still at L's ear, meaning the damned old man still was talking. What could he possibly have to say for so long? His annoyance was at the maximum- it was time to move on. His mouth opened wider-

"Ah-!" His knuckles were suddenly a pale white amongst chocolaty brown locks. "Busy, Watari," he said hurriedly. He snapped the phone shut in a flash and threw it to the floor, both hands instantly pulling at his lover's hair. "Nnn!"

…

"That's what you get for ignoring me…"

…

"Hah…"

…..

It was as Raito slinked up the lithe body below him when he noticed. It was out of the corner of his eye, just barely in his line of sight to his right. A monstrous black figure, taller and uglier than any human. Seeing his shinigami made him stall for a split second but chose to disregard him.

Ryuk had stepped closer, coming out of nowhere to get a better view, curious.

"What're you guys doing?"

Raito went on ignoring, as did L.

"I know you guys hear me…"

He finally took to taking the rest of his lover's jeans off, flinging them to the floor at Ryuk's feet.

"Do the others know you're doing this? I don't think they'd be too happy to know you're slacking on the job."

…

"Are you even allowed to do that? 'Coz I heard that it was supposed to be a guy and a girl…"

…

"Hey Raito, how come you don't do that with Misa? I think she would like it just as much as he seems to…"

The teen winced at the mention of the annoying young woman, but went on without pause, attacking the sensitive nipple as he felt his jeans quickly become undone.

…

"Ooh, where're you gonna to stick that at?"

"SHUT UP!" was collectively yelled by both. Ryuk's eyes widened in surprise, deciding it was better to keep his mouth shut for the time being and slink back to a dark corner to watch from afar.

Raito sighed, head hanging down. "Much better," he said quietly.

"Yes," L agreed. "Now if only we can go on without any more interruptions…"

…

"Mmm…"

…..

tap

The younger detective faintly heard it, but thought nothing of it. He didn't even bother opening his eyes.

tap tap

His eyebrows furrowed together. It was unmistakable that time; he looked up to his raven-haired rival. L's eyes were still closed, like he had still taken no notice of it-

"It's probably a bird or something. Never mind it."

So he had heard. But he obliged and went on ignoring.

Tap Tap Tap

It was more persistent now, louder. Both pairs of eyes opened. Raito looked up to see L glaring at the ceiling.

"Go see what it is and get it away." He picked up the hint of agitation in his voice.

Raito was feeling it, too, but had it in check. What could possibly at their window? He slid off L's body and the bed, getting to his feet. He let his jeans and boxers drop, getting them out of the way. His footsteps were silent as he padded over, completely nude, and opened the curtains.

And then jumped back slightly, startled.

Rem was there, floating beyond the glass, her wings wide and hovering a few feet away. He couldn't tell if she held an expression or not, but found he didn't really care at that moment. He glared intensely at her, and was about to violently shut the curtains when he saw her point downward.

What? He leaned forward, trying to see the street below. His eyes focused on the dots of people and cars, looking around- what could the shinigami be pointing at? Then he spotted it- her, for that matter, making him want to smash his forehead into the glass.

Misa was there, enthusiastically waving up at him with a large grin. A deep scowl graced his features; Misa was to pay for this once they were finished…He made sure to angrily flick Rem off, sure she would relay the message to her master as he snapped the curtains shut and went to return to the bed.

"What was it?" L questioned.

He crawled onto the mattress. He wanted nothing more than to vent his rising frustration. "Doesn't matter," he said stiffly.

L smiled, picking up his partner's anger. "Come on…" he said just above a whisper, wrapping his legs around him and pulling him into a fierce kiss.

…

Raito realized something in the back of his mind, distracting him. "… Wait," he said, cutting the kiss short. He glanced around the room, searching.

"What?" asked L, clueless.

"… Where's Ryuk?"

"EARTHQUAKE TEST!"

"AHHHHHHHH!" L screamed at the top of his lungs, hugging Raito against him and clinging for dear life as the bed they lay on was viciously shaken. The legs of the bed frame banged against the floor loudly, and everything in the room seemed to tremble from the power of it. Raito's body was tensed like a rock, but was glaring at the wall, anger still growing.

"RYUK!"

The shaking stopped, the room going back to its normal state. "Heh heh…" they heard Ryuk say underneath the bed. "Sorry…" The shinigami let himself fall through the floor to finally leave them alone.

L took a deep breath, releasing Raito from his relentless grasp. "That almost gave me a heart attack…"he said quietly. He looked to the brunette detective. "But I think we finally have some privacy to ourselves now…"

His body slowly relaxed. Emerald eyes traveled south, and his irritation instantly ebbed away a fraction. "That last startle made it start to go away…" he softly observed. A hand reached down; L's sharp intake of breath easily said that he was still responsive, however. "I'll have to fix that…" he whispered, leaning in.

…

"Mm-"

…

A hiss cut the air.

…

"Ah… Better."

…

"Now. Do it."

…-

"Nnn!"

squeak squeak squeak

"Ahhh!"

"Nn…"

squeak squeak-

BAM!

The door was slammed open, the lock having been successfully picked. Both attentions whipped to the now open doorway, sight transfixed onto all who was interrupting their fun. Souichiro Yagami was the first to dart inside, his hand still on the door handle, apparently the one who had picked it and let them inside. Mogi and Aizawa were squeezed in beside their superior in the doorway, trying to also see inside. All three's gazes were locked onto the two on the bed, eyes wide, expressions horrified at what they saw.

They all could hear Matsuda in the back, oblivious, chattering away. "There were five more Kira deaths already today- Five!- and we couldn't just take the day off...! Then we come here and the cameras in your room are all off, and Misa Misa said that you guys locked the door and wouldn't even talk to her!" He finally managed to squeeze in to look. "So wha-! Uh…" His brain registered what he was seeing, immediately stopping his thought. His own eyes bugged out as if his innocence was now completely smashed.

All the detectives were frozen, having been completely caught off guard at what was before them. Not knowing what to do or even say, they just stood there gawking, making the couple feel all the more uncomfortable.

Souichiro was the first to recover, finally looking away from his naked son and clearing his throat. "We seem to be interrupting something here, boys. I think we should leave them with some privacy…" He began to move out, not waiting for anyone's reaction, just pushing them out of the way and out the door. It was shut behind all them once they exited.

Raito and L were still unmoving, even though they were left to themselves. It seemed like an eternity passed in silence.

…

"Sorry," said L, breaking the ice, "But I don't think you can fix it again."

Raito relaxed against his detective lover with a sigh, head falling to the other's shoulder. "Don't worry. I don't think I'll be able to fix mine, either." He allowed himself to practically melt in L's embrace, recovering from the shock of being discovered. He waited for his thoughts to be more lucid before speaking. "I guess we have to get back to work. Five more deaths, I heard." He went to push himself up with full intention to get up and dressed, but L's hold around him tightened. He looked down quizzically.

His eyes were closed. "Just… a moment longer… if you don't mind, Raito-kun…" he said just barely above a whisper.

He stared down at his serene face. Here L was, showing a more vulnerable side. It was strange to him, still recovering from the prematurely cut fire that they'd had just minutes before. But knowing L, he was most likely analyzing what had just happened in that mind of his- several somebodies had found out a big secret of theirs, so of course L had to analyze it and figure how he was going to handle it later on, when they decided to walk out and face them all. Raito wasn't exactly a cuddly type person, and was quite ready to go ahead and get up, but…

… Maybe just this once.

END

Written 1-16 to 2-5-08; edited 3/17/12