Title: I Feel Pretty
Author: Shannon
Rating: G
Summary: I'm too masculine to be emasculated. - George O'Malley
A/N: This is what happens when alaira and I email stupidly late on a Friday night. Completely un-betaed and ever so slightly cracky.
I Feel Pretty
John stared down at his plate. Mush for lunch. That's all he could call it. It wasn't even approaching baby food edibility, it was just… mush. Oh, he hoped the Daedelus would arrive soon.
He grabbed a piece of bread, before pushing the tray aside. At least they had a lifetime's supply of bread now.
He was spreading peanut butter on the slice, contemplating whether the one packet was really enough, when Ronon approached.
"Sheppard."
He glanced up. "Ronon."
"What does love mean?"
John could only blink. "It's a word people use when they care about someone very much."
Ronon crossed his arms in that big manly way of his, shoulders glistening in the mess lighting. "No. Not that. I knew that. What does it mean when Beckett uses it?"
"It's… It's a term of endearment. It means he likes you." He took a bite from the bread.
"Does he call you love?"
John choked and swallowed. "…No."
"So Beckett doesn't like you?"
John straightened up. "No! He likes me! He likes me just fine. He just doesn't call me love."
"Why not? If he likes you, wouldn't he call you it?"
"He doesn't call me love because I'm not a girl."
"So if he calls you love, he's calling you a girl."
John stared. "…Yes."
"Why do you think I'm a girl and not Sheppard?"
Carson jerked his head away from the microscope and stared at Ronon. "What?"
"You called me a girl. Why am I a girl and not Sheppard? He's prettier than me."
Carson gaped. And gaped. And blinked. "When did I call you a girl?"
"Yesterday."
"Son, you're going to have to be a little more specific than that."
"During my medical."
God, it was like pulling teeth when you weren't even a dentist. "When?"
"I sat down. And you said 'I'll be there in a moment, love!' You called me a girl."
Oh, for the love of- "I don't think you're a girl, Ronon. I think you are a perfectly fine and healthy physical male."
"So you think I act like a girl."
"No."
"So why did you call me a girl?"
Carson sighed and tried to resist hitting his head with his hand. "Because I was tired. And you sounded like one."
"I don't sound like a girl!"
"You do when you inhale helium."
Ronon stared at him. "So why didn't you call Sheppard a girl? He sounded more like a girl than I did. And he looks more like one. And acts more like one."
"Exactly."
Ronon leaned back. "Oh." He grinned. "Okay. I'm going to go spar with Teyla. She beats Sheppard."
"Aye, she does."
"You call her love."
"Yes, I do."
"She's a girl."
"I hope you already knew that."
"I did."
"Good." Ronon didn't move. Carson sighed. "Goodbye, Ronon."
"Bye, Doc."
Teyla met him in the gym. "You look pleased, Ronon."
"I am."
"Why?"
"Because Sheppard's more of a girl than me."