Five sleepless nights have pushed them back further than possible.

"... could have used a decoy. You know he's sneaky."

Lando's words are forced, unbelieved. The image of Fett's exploding ship is too random and unexpected to be a trick. Luke and Leia know any confirmation will only be by word-of-mouth. It was the same lead they've had for two months, only a few days after Bespin. Regroup, collect, plan. Story of their lives.

"Th-- thank you, Lando. Goodnight."

Leia retreats to the Captain's quarters. Luke follows her, anxious for sleep himself.

"He's dead, Luke. How could-- the ship--"

There are nightmares about his father. He wakes up, and sees her; the only anchor left in his life. If they stopped sharing a bed, would they fall apart? There are bumped knees in the night under shared blankets. A quick neck-rub before drifting off to sleep. Small feet dwarfed by large ones. There is no touching that can't be dismissed as a dream's after-thought.

His arm wraps around her shoulders. When she excuses herself to take a shower, he has to think twice from asking to join.

----

The scalding water makes her skin a violent red. It looks painful, but he knows it's what she finds comforting. Leia has wrapped her wet hair up half-hazardly. Already, it begins to spill onto her face and shoulders. It's her pants that draw Luke's eye. She catches his gaze, and knows that he's staring at the Corellian blood-stripe running down her leg. Han's pants swallow her narrow hips, completely hiding her toes.

"Do you miss him as much as I do?"

She falls into Luke's embrace, startling him.

----

Luke doesn't understand why her legs aren't spreading apart further until he realizes that her ankles are still caught in Han's pants. He doesn't have the heart, or patience, to remove them. It just makes her feel even tighter.

He loves her, but there's something in the back of his head telling him to stop, and for a brief second he considers . As her back arches, she grips his chest to her own, with more strength than he thought her small body had.

She's crying, but smiling. It's genuine. The dark circles are still under her eyes, and her forehead is still creased. But the smile is there, a real one, not just a slight grimace to make him or anyone else think she's all right.

Luke's body has stiffened. It's not an inkling from the Force, it's not a warning from destiny; it's his heart.

He loves her more than anyone could. He would do anything for her. But he will never make her happy.

Leia closes her eyes and gives a luxurated sigh as he traces her hairline.

"I needed that," she murmers, eyes bright and coy.

----

15 years later, Mara Jade-Skywalker will be dead. An angry ex-Imperial made a lucky shot.

He'll cry for days, so will Leia and Han, and so will their children. They will mourn; Han won't oppose to Luke staying in an extra bedroom at the Solos'.

Later on, Leia will be yelling at Jaina, grounding her for sneaking out in an old speeder. Jacen will roll his eyes as he feeds some new pet. Han will pretend not to be proud, getting distracted as Anakin dismantles an innocent piece of kitchen machinery. They'll spend all evening putting it back together. Luke will listen to the laughter from within his own bed.

But I was supposed to be the hero, he will think.