Your Halo Has A Screw Loose, Angel

Summary: Takes place a month after "The Thin Line Between Chuck and Nate." The eve of Lily and Bart's wedding. Blair is working steadily on her revenge, with the help of Serena and Dan. Now she just needs to get back at Chuck… Blair/Chuck with some Serena/Dan and eventually some Serena/Nate.
Author's Note: I just had the urge to start writing some GG fanfiction to help me out until episodes start up again. Feedback is much appreciated. :D

Ch. 1: Watch Your Back, C

Good morning, Upper East Siders. Gossip Girl here…

Hear those wedding bells ringing, kids? Hard to believe that two of the most unromantic people in our little community are tying the knot on the most romantic day of the year: Valentine's Day. But why so short an engagement, one might ask? Here's hoping Lily Van der Woodsen's already got one in the oven, just so we can see the first Van der Woodsen-Bass spawn and forget all about our own problems. I'm off to put on my fabulous Manolos and get ready for an evening to remember. Still think I'm talking about the wedding? You've got another one coming. I'm just looking forward to whatever vengeance our Ex-Queen B has in store to regain her throne. If you're one of those unlucky people who had a hand in her downfall, you better watch out. Any of you worth seeing, I'll see tonight.

XOXO,

Gossip Girl

The caterers had all arrived. The flowers were in place. Serena had made her mother change the place settings at least 15 times to make sure Blair didn't have to go through the unpleasant experience of sitting within the vicinity of any of her enemies (read: victims). As the two girls looked around, they breathed in the glorious decorations of the beautiful wedding hall. It was almost enough to make them forget who Lily Van der Woodsen was marrying, after all. Serena was not looking forward to being Chuck Bass' stepsister, and spent most of her energy planning strategies with which to avoid his interminable come-ons and possible attempted rapes. Blair Waldorf, meanwhile, was far more focused on the present. Sure, it would be tricky to ever spend the night at Serena's with her ex-lover just lounging around there, possibly with prostitutes. But that problem was easily solved by having Serena over at her own apartment whenever necessary (something soothing to both their frazzled minds). She was more worried about getting through this very wedding. Blair's comeback was moving along steadily: Kati and Iz were already back on her side like the mindless clones they were. All it took was a couple more Eleanor Waldorf originals and the promise of being bridesmaids in Lily's wedding alongside Blair (Serena was maid of honor, of course). Hazel was still ruling the roost of Constance Billard alongside Penny and that little bitch, Jenny, but Blair would soon bring them down. Or bring down Hazel and Penny, at least. She hadn't yet figured out what to about Jenny, out of respect for her best friend and (grudgingly) Dan.

Ever since her "downfall," Dan Humphrey had been gracious enough to give up much of his Serena time in order to accommodate Blair's needs. He had even joined in on some of their more successful revenge missions. As much as Blair hated to admit it, he was just the perfect blend of her own wiles and Serena's sweet innocence. He knew just how to bring someone down, but in the nicest way possible. So while Blair firmly believed Jenny would have to learn her lesson, she was more and more starting to think she might just leave it up to Dan. Jenny had been a good little servant, after all, and her betrayal had taken some gut and brains—enough that Blair continued to bestow a hateful respect on the little freshman. The main issue now was making Chuck Bass pay for all he had put her through. Of course, as much as Blair tried to convince herself that there was nothing personal per se in this attack, she could not help but feel deeply wounded when she thought of Chuck's last words to her. It was too much to bear, so much that she hadn't even told Serena what really happened at that bar. As far as her best friend knew, Chuck was guilty only of informing Gossip Girl that Blair was not as pure as she seemed. Besides, it's not like Blair cared about Chuck or anything. It was just that what he said cut to the very core of her insecurities. It had nothing to do with who said those words, right? No one called Blair Waldorf a used horse and got away with it. Absolutely no one.

In a misguided attempt to "bring the family together," Lily and Bart had made Chuck best man and poor Erik the ring-bearer. All the girls kept coming up to the younger Van der Woodsen and pinching his cheeks as if he were an effing five-year old. Poor guy was never going to live this down. Worst of all was that he couldn't even look to Jenny for consolation, even though she was at the wedding, because he couldn't be seen cavorting with her in the presence of Blair and his sister—unless he wanted to be given a major smack-down at home. Besides, the way she had been acting lately, he wasn't so sure she'd even deign to speak to him in public anymore...

The girls lined up in their sparkling Waldorf gowns to make their way down the aisle. Serena tried to suck up all her feelings of uneasiness and pasted a brilliant smile on her face. She knew this wedding was partly her own fault, for asking her mother to give up Rufus Humphrey in favor of her own relationship with Dan. But seriously, couldn't Lily live just one year without any man in her life? Aside from the general creepiness of his nature, though, Bart Bass had treated her and Erik very well, and he doted on their mother. Serena supposed she could forgive him for raising Chuck, after all. She scanned the crowd and caught sight of Dan, who gave her a sweet nod of encouragement. Next to him was Jenny, someone for whom Serena could not decipher her feelings. She had thought that girl was going to be a good friend, she was so sweet and innocent, but then she went and betrayed Serena's trust by ruining Blair's reputation and relationship with Nate. Serena didn't wish her any harm, for Dan's sake, but she did want to see justice served. Suddenly, Serena realized there was one more person next to the two Humphreys: their father, Rufus, looking not-at-all happy to be there. Seriously? Serena had made sure he got an invitation, because she knew it would be unacceptable to invite his children and not him, but never in a million years had she expected him to come. He must be a glutton for punishment, she thought to herself sadly.

She took her place next to Chuck and prepared herself for the biggest façade of a wedding ceremony she hoped to ever experience. A whisper in her ear made her groan inwardly.

"I'm so glad we have the opportunity to be close again, sis," Chuck simpered in his sleaziest way possible.

Serena gave him the death glare she had learned from her best friend, and shot back "Message from Blair, darling brother. You're going down, and your little boyfriend is, too."

An almost imperceptible change took place in Chuck's face at the mention of Blair's name, but at this distance Serena could easily see something was bothering him deeply. "I'm tired of these games, Van der Woodsen," he said in his best effort to sound nonchalant, "I won last time and I'm going to keep on winning." His tone softened a little as he continued, "Just let her know I'm truly sorry for all those things I said. I was… upset about losing Nathaniel and took it out on the wrong person."

Serena's eyes were getting wider with every word Chuck uttered. What words? Blair hadn't told her about anything except the text message to Gossip Girl, and that most definitely happened before "losing" Nate. She started to ask Chuck to clarify, but he interrupted quickly.

"Can't we just all forget this unpleasant phase in our lives and be friends again?"

Serena forgot herself for a second and snorted loudly enough to interrupt the ceremony. Everyone stared at her, and she blushed a deep shade of crimson, but then she saw Dan laughing silently and Blair fighting back a good-natured giggle and immediately felt better for providing entertainment. "Listen, Chuck, I will never be your friend again. Not after what you tried with me last year. And I highly doubt Blair will, either. So you better up your game, because your name will be nothing but a laughing-stock in this town by the time we're through with you." She couldn't believe she had heard herself correctly. Where was she getting all this delicious malice from? Blair had obviously been teaching her well.

Chuck's eyes narrowed immediately. "Have it your way, slut," he spat out quietly. Serena ignored the massive urge to grind his feet to a bloody pulp beneath her sharp 4-inch stilettos, and instead turned her full attention to her mother's "I do," spoken with perfect elegance and without a single trace of enjoyment.