DISCLAIMER: We don't own them … just Cliff and he's not worth much!

What a trip!

Cliff turned to a different screen, afraid that if he didn't, he would be a murder witness. Even if this was just a dream, that was not something he wanted.

The new screen Cliff picked was of the paint and spackle aisle. Esme was standing with Emmett.

"I am warning you right now, Emmett McCartney Cullen. One more hole in any of my walls and you will be doing the spackling from now on, young man," Esme chided.

Emmett looked a little terrified of his mother as he put two gallon-size tubs of spackle on to the fifth pallet containing their items for purchase. Emmett found some painter overalls and masks. He put on one of each and walked over to Bella. He took her wrist and dragged her over to the power tools. He left her at the end-cap and then grabbed a chainsaw. He started it up, revving it loudly. He jumped out and scared Bella, making her scream.

Edward and Rosalie showed up suddenly. They each stood next to their partner. Rosalie grabbed the chainsaw from Emmett and put it back on the shelf. Edward was glaring at Emmett as he stroked Bella's hair and rubbed her back. The girl was obviously crying against his shirt.

Emmett had an apologetic look on his face and seemed to be trying to say he was sorry through his mind.

"You tell Bella that," Edward laughed.

"Sorry, Bella," Emmett said. "I just thought you might enjoy a hint for what movie I want to watch tonight. If it helps, you can take a swipe at me with the chainsaw."

"Are you kidding, Em?" Rosalie asked. "She would trip and end up cutting herself in half!"

Cliff was wondering why Emmett would offer for Bella to use a chainsaw on him. He also wanted to know why they thought Bella would trip and get hurt.

A blonde man walked up to them wearing a suit. He was looking very frustrated. Cliff thought this guy might be the father. Jasper, Alice, and Esme joined the group just as the man cleared his throat.

"Hello, Carlisle," Esme said, taking hold of his arm.

"What are you all doing?" Carlisle demanded. "I walk in the store to see Emmett holding a chainsaw near Bella. Edward looks ready to kill Emmett. Jasper isn't even trying to reign in Alice! Look at all of those pallets!"

"Dad, those are for mom," Alice informed him.

Carlisle's eyes grew wide. "Esme! You know better. You can't just come in here and buy out half the store. We're supposed to be keeping a low profile."

"I'm sorry, dear. Bella and I came to get a new toilet because Emmett blew his up. Alice tracked us down and then showed me the appliances. And then I found the garden center," Esme rambled.

"I've heard enough," Carlisle sighed, waving a hand in defeat. "Just get this place cleaned up as fast as you can. And when I say as fast as you can, I mean move it now, my vampy children!"

Esme cleared her throat.

Carlisle turned and looked at her. "And you, my beautiful, vampy wife, you need to learn to control your shopping. You're supposed to set an example for Alice, not join in her shopping addiction!"

Cliff sat there, puzzling over the word 'vampy'. He knew some of the newer street slang of the teenagers today, but he couldn't recall hearing that one. He knew 'bootylicious' and he'd heard of 'forshizzle', but never 'vampy'.

The strange family, except for Carlisle, began running around the store, cleaning it up at almost invisible speeds. Bella tried to follow Edward for a bit, but soon gave up. Every time she took a single step toward the direction he'd gone in, he was already moving off somewhere else.

Cliff watched as Edward changed direction once again, coming straight for Cliff's office. Cliff started panicking. One of them was coming to his office! He had watched them all day and now one of them would be standing in front of him. This was by far one of the oddest dreams he had ever had.

The door to Cliff's office swung open and the one called Edward flew into the room. Edward had the oddest grin on his face, showing his perfectly white teeth.

Cliff sat there in awe, wondering how his mind could have created such crazy characters.

It was as if Edward could read his mind, because the boy told him, "Poor Cliff has no idea what's real anymore."

Cliff tried to talk to the boy, but he blinked and then Edward was gone. Cliff shook his head, slightly worried about his own mental state. How could he have had such a crazy dream? Cliff looked down at the monitors and noticed a little message was blinking across every one of them … No tape! Cliff started to panic. What if this wasn't a dream? And Edward had just stolen the tapes! How would Cliff ever prove what he's seen today? He didn't want to be like those people who claim to have seen a UFO!

Cliff looked down at the pizza box open on his desk, glaring at the mushrooms. He realized he had no idea where the pizza came from or what kind of mushrooms those really were. Cliff decided right then and there that his entire day had just been one big drug trip and that none of it was really real.

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Two hours later:

"I love home movies," Esme sighed, leaning against Carlisle.

"Alice, hurry up with the popcorn!" Edward yelled. "Bella's hungry."

"No, I'm not," Bella protested, but her stomach growled, giving her away.

Everyone laughed and Bella blushed a deep red.

Alice flew into the living room, putting a bowl of popcorn in Bella's lap. Alice moved and sat down with Jasper on the loveseat.

"You can all thank me for us not being discovered!" Alice said smugly. "I sent the security guard a mushroom pizza. Now, he thinks it was all a drug trip!"

"And thanks to Edward for grabbing the tapes," Emmett added, holding out a fist for Edward.

Edward leaned over Bella and smacked his fist to his brother's.

"All in all, I'd say it was a productive day," Jasper chuckled.

"I still don't know why we were there in the first place," Rosalie stated.

"Why don't you ask the mad scientist there?" Edward chuckled, pointing at Emmett.

"I guess it works better when it's not your toilet," Emmett laughed.

That is sadly the end of our little tale. Which of course was written by My-Bella and Hellopants. All good things must come to an end.