I'm putting Invader Dib on hiatus for a little bit, at least until everything settles down in the country (me making jokes about the white house at this time would be in bad taste after all.) So consider Invader Dib off for a while to make a remembrance for the people who died in the terrible tragedy of 9/11/01 including a parent of a friend of mine. *moment of silence.*
Anyway, this is a story that popped into my head and I thought would be very funny if I wrote it down and turned it into something. You get to be the judge. Hmmm I guess I should do something funny to lighten the mood....*pours a shake down a nearby man's pants, man gets a relieved look on his face, author backs away slowly.*
INVADER ZIM IN COLLEGE!
Chapter 1: Zim U.
"7 years." Zim said sitting in a dark corner of his house. It had been seven years since he first arrived and of course, he still looked the same due to his Irken origin. "7 years I've been trying to conquer this world and I haven't been able to. What is it about this place?"
"Tomatoes." Gir said in an opposite corner, squeeking a small Spooky toy.
"Tomatoes?"
"Tomatoes."
"Hmmmmm....OF COUR...Wait a minute, that can't be right." Zim said scratching his head. "Dammit Gir, stop polluting my mind. I should be enjoying this time when I get off school."
"School is cool for me and you!" Gir began to sing to himself, squeeking like mad.
"Let me see, maybe if I made some kind of catapult to launch people into a wormhole filled with Salsa....NO!" As Zim became more frustrated, he heard a knock at his door. Getting up from his dark corner, he quickly put in his contacts and wig. He then flung the door open to see a tall teenager with glasses, spikey black hair, baggy jeans, a goatee dyed blonde, sandles on his feet, and a long shirt with a picture of an alien being dissected.
"Whattup Zim?" Dib said, leaning against the side of the house. "Looks like your still a midget."
"DIB! GET OFF MY LAWN!"
"Up yours Narc!" Dib said jokingly, noogieing Zim into the ground. "I would be asking what you were doing but I would probably get the same answer I always do, which would be...."
"Trying to take over the world." Zim replied.
"But thats what we did last night Brain!"
"What?"
"Inside joke."
"You certainly are acting rather non chalant around me. Aren't you going to try to destroy me like you always have?"
"Like I always have? Zim, I stopped trying to destroy you after the pudding incident where I realized that you have a better chance of pulling monkeys out of your...uhhh...squeedily spooch then take over Earth."
"THAT PLAN WAS FOOL PROOF!" Zim screamed at the top of his lungs.
"You waved a pudding cup at a clown and demanded he give you English citizenship."
"That was only stage one of a two part plan."
"Really? What was the second part?"
".....Second part?"
Dib slapped his hand against the front of his face and shook his head.
"Look, I just came here to give my goodbyes and wish you luck on your little crusade."
"Goodbyes? You're leaving! NOW MY PLANS CAN GO UNFETTERED!"
"Yeah whatever. I'm going to college and so won't be here to 'stop' your plans." Dib then began to laugh heartily, remembering all the stupid attempts Zim made at conquering the world.
"QUITE! DO NOT MOCK AN IRKEN INVADER! AND FOR GOD'S SAKE TAKE YOUR SISTER WITH YOU, SHE'S BEEN IN MY HOUSE FOR 3 YEARS!" Zim yelled pointing back at a crazy looking Gaz, picking the petals off a flower.
"IloveZimIloveZimIloveZimIloveZimIloveZimIloveZimIloveZimIloveZim." Gaz kept repeating, malnourished to the point of near death.
"What the heck's wrong with her?" Dib asked, pointing at his crazy skeleton like sister.
"Too many romance stories."
"Ah. Anyway, you can keep her. I just convinced Dad he didn't have a daughter and since he's never home, he believed me."
"That's great." Zim said sarcastically. "Oh look at the time, looks like you better be going."
"What?" Just as Dib said this, all the gnomes on Zim's lawn sprung to life and began to attack Dib. They bashed their tiny hands against him and tried to move him, but their attempts were pathetic at best. "Oh yeah these things are really dangerous. You know this may have worked when I was the same size as you, but me being 6'2 and all tends to change things."
Dib then simply stepped on the numerous amounts of gnomes, crushing them beneath his heel.
"MY GNOMES!" Zim cried.
"I'll catch you in about 4 years Zim. Try to think of something better then pudding next time." Dib then walked out of the yard and onto the sidewalk.
"OH YOU'LL SEE! YOU'LL SEE WITH YOUR EYES....AND POSSIBLY WITH YOUR TEETH!" Zim then slammed the door, fuming.
"Want a hershey kiss?" Gir asked, holding the small candy between his two fingers.
"....Yes." Zim gulped down the candy and stopped fuming.
"Uh oh."
"What?"
"That wasn't a Hershey Kiss." Gir said as Zim began to vomit all over the ground.
Moving Day.......
"You have everything you need son?" Professor Membrane asked from his floating video monitor.
"No problem. I'm ok dad."
"Thats terrific, I'm going to go over here now." Dib's father's monitor then simply turned around to Dib and stared at the wall. Dib let out a sigh as he finished unpacking all his stuff. It was getting toward the evening and he still hadn't seen his roommate or even got to find out what his name was, but he figured he would get some dinner anyway.
"This is how you remind me! THIS IS HOW YOU REMIND ME OF WHAT I REALLY AM!" Dib began to sing along with his cd player as he walked out of his room. As he walked past other people preoccupied with packing all their clothes and various things into their tiny rooms, he hummed a few more bars of the song he was listening to. It took Dib about two minutes to get to the cafeteria where everyone ate.
"I wonder if they have any Fruit Loops?" Dib perused the wide assortments of foods and still found nothing what he wanted. "No Fruit Loops. Christ, I'll never survive."
"So I said 'Dude, don't touch that racoon, its got viruses and stuff.'" Everyone laughed at the joke told by the mysterious stranger. Dib tried to see who it was, but the crowd was to thick, so he gave up and took a handful of gummi bears. "How much?"
"7.50." The cashier said.
"WHAT? DOLLARS? BUT I ONLY HAVE A HANDFUL OF GUMMI BEARS!"
"Yes, its on sale today." The cashier said, ringing up the sale. Dib grudgingly took out the money and put it on the table. He pocketed the gummi bears and began to walk back to his dorm room. As he finally made it, he reached for the door knob and turned it. Before he finished opening the door, he heard sounds from within. "Oh good, my roommate must be here."
Dib opened the door only to see....
"Why hello there Dib." Zim said, making his bed. "Looks like we're gonna be roommates."
End Chapter 1
JOIN US NEXT TIME FOR BEER.....and other things not pertaining to beer.
Chapter 2: Roomie from H-E-Double Hockey Sticks!
Anyway, this is a story that popped into my head and I thought would be very funny if I wrote it down and turned it into something. You get to be the judge. Hmmm I guess I should do something funny to lighten the mood....*pours a shake down a nearby man's pants, man gets a relieved look on his face, author backs away slowly.*
INVADER ZIM IN COLLEGE!
Chapter 1: Zim U.
"7 years." Zim said sitting in a dark corner of his house. It had been seven years since he first arrived and of course, he still looked the same due to his Irken origin. "7 years I've been trying to conquer this world and I haven't been able to. What is it about this place?"
"Tomatoes." Gir said in an opposite corner, squeeking a small Spooky toy.
"Tomatoes?"
"Tomatoes."
"Hmmmmm....OF COUR...Wait a minute, that can't be right." Zim said scratching his head. "Dammit Gir, stop polluting my mind. I should be enjoying this time when I get off school."
"School is cool for me and you!" Gir began to sing to himself, squeeking like mad.
"Let me see, maybe if I made some kind of catapult to launch people into a wormhole filled with Salsa....NO!" As Zim became more frustrated, he heard a knock at his door. Getting up from his dark corner, he quickly put in his contacts and wig. He then flung the door open to see a tall teenager with glasses, spikey black hair, baggy jeans, a goatee dyed blonde, sandles on his feet, and a long shirt with a picture of an alien being dissected.
"Whattup Zim?" Dib said, leaning against the side of the house. "Looks like your still a midget."
"DIB! GET OFF MY LAWN!"
"Up yours Narc!" Dib said jokingly, noogieing Zim into the ground. "I would be asking what you were doing but I would probably get the same answer I always do, which would be...."
"Trying to take over the world." Zim replied.
"But thats what we did last night Brain!"
"What?"
"Inside joke."
"You certainly are acting rather non chalant around me. Aren't you going to try to destroy me like you always have?"
"Like I always have? Zim, I stopped trying to destroy you after the pudding incident where I realized that you have a better chance of pulling monkeys out of your...uhhh...squeedily spooch then take over Earth."
"THAT PLAN WAS FOOL PROOF!" Zim screamed at the top of his lungs.
"You waved a pudding cup at a clown and demanded he give you English citizenship."
"That was only stage one of a two part plan."
"Really? What was the second part?"
".....Second part?"
Dib slapped his hand against the front of his face and shook his head.
"Look, I just came here to give my goodbyes and wish you luck on your little crusade."
"Goodbyes? You're leaving! NOW MY PLANS CAN GO UNFETTERED!"
"Yeah whatever. I'm going to college and so won't be here to 'stop' your plans." Dib then began to laugh heartily, remembering all the stupid attempts Zim made at conquering the world.
"QUITE! DO NOT MOCK AN IRKEN INVADER! AND FOR GOD'S SAKE TAKE YOUR SISTER WITH YOU, SHE'S BEEN IN MY HOUSE FOR 3 YEARS!" Zim yelled pointing back at a crazy looking Gaz, picking the petals off a flower.
"IloveZimIloveZimIloveZimIloveZimIloveZimIloveZimIloveZimIloveZim." Gaz kept repeating, malnourished to the point of near death.
"What the heck's wrong with her?" Dib asked, pointing at his crazy skeleton like sister.
"Too many romance stories."
"Ah. Anyway, you can keep her. I just convinced Dad he didn't have a daughter and since he's never home, he believed me."
"That's great." Zim said sarcastically. "Oh look at the time, looks like you better be going."
"What?" Just as Dib said this, all the gnomes on Zim's lawn sprung to life and began to attack Dib. They bashed their tiny hands against him and tried to move him, but their attempts were pathetic at best. "Oh yeah these things are really dangerous. You know this may have worked when I was the same size as you, but me being 6'2 and all tends to change things."
Dib then simply stepped on the numerous amounts of gnomes, crushing them beneath his heel.
"MY GNOMES!" Zim cried.
"I'll catch you in about 4 years Zim. Try to think of something better then pudding next time." Dib then walked out of the yard and onto the sidewalk.
"OH YOU'LL SEE! YOU'LL SEE WITH YOUR EYES....AND POSSIBLY WITH YOUR TEETH!" Zim then slammed the door, fuming.
"Want a hershey kiss?" Gir asked, holding the small candy between his two fingers.
"....Yes." Zim gulped down the candy and stopped fuming.
"Uh oh."
"What?"
"That wasn't a Hershey Kiss." Gir said as Zim began to vomit all over the ground.
Moving Day.......
"You have everything you need son?" Professor Membrane asked from his floating video monitor.
"No problem. I'm ok dad."
"Thats terrific, I'm going to go over here now." Dib's father's monitor then simply turned around to Dib and stared at the wall. Dib let out a sigh as he finished unpacking all his stuff. It was getting toward the evening and he still hadn't seen his roommate or even got to find out what his name was, but he figured he would get some dinner anyway.
"This is how you remind me! THIS IS HOW YOU REMIND ME OF WHAT I REALLY AM!" Dib began to sing along with his cd player as he walked out of his room. As he walked past other people preoccupied with packing all their clothes and various things into their tiny rooms, he hummed a few more bars of the song he was listening to. It took Dib about two minutes to get to the cafeteria where everyone ate.
"I wonder if they have any Fruit Loops?" Dib perused the wide assortments of foods and still found nothing what he wanted. "No Fruit Loops. Christ, I'll never survive."
"So I said 'Dude, don't touch that racoon, its got viruses and stuff.'" Everyone laughed at the joke told by the mysterious stranger. Dib tried to see who it was, but the crowd was to thick, so he gave up and took a handful of gummi bears. "How much?"
"7.50." The cashier said.
"WHAT? DOLLARS? BUT I ONLY HAVE A HANDFUL OF GUMMI BEARS!"
"Yes, its on sale today." The cashier said, ringing up the sale. Dib grudgingly took out the money and put it on the table. He pocketed the gummi bears and began to walk back to his dorm room. As he finally made it, he reached for the door knob and turned it. Before he finished opening the door, he heard sounds from within. "Oh good, my roommate must be here."
Dib opened the door only to see....
"Why hello there Dib." Zim said, making his bed. "Looks like we're gonna be roommates."
End Chapter 1
JOIN US NEXT TIME FOR BEER.....and other things not pertaining to beer.
Chapter 2: Roomie from H-E-Double Hockey Sticks!