A/N.

I went to the Disney homepage of Hannah Montana today and I finally saw that Moliver is the only practically "canon" ship in the entire show (and if you've been on my profile, you know how much I like canon ships).
In Lilly's profile it says that she's going to have to keep an eye on Miley with Oliver and that's exactly what she's doing this Valentine's day.


I think this is the second 1st-person fic I've done since I started writing fan-fiction and Lilly is harder to write than I expected. She has one wacky head to get into... that's for sure.

Here's the first part of the "Miley Watch"

I don't own Hannah Montana.


A Happy Non-Valentine's to You!


4.45 pm.

This is Lilly Truscott. 14th Feb. 2008. On Miley Watch.
Of course there wouldn't need to be a Miley watch if a certain someone would be honest about their feelings.
That certain someone is the so-called BFF who is rolling her eyes at Oliver's attempt to pick up three girls at almost the same time outside of Rico's. Simple, simple boys.
None more simple than the "Okenator" but I'm not going to say that to him when he's on a roll with the "ladies".

4:49 pm.

OK... I said it anyway. But he was asking for it. Who does he think he is thinking that girls get more desperate on Valentine's day? I am perfectly fine that I didn't get any Valentine's this year. Perfectly fine.

4:52 pm

I'm still watching Miley. I squint one eye to get a better look. Does she seem jealous or is it just the afternoon sun in my eyes?
Anyway, last night 'Hannah' had a concert for Valentine's day. Of course she was bitter about the whole thing - I mean - Jake Ryan was her first BF and she didn't even get a Valentine's with him. But I'd always been suspicious of her and Oliver. Now I know why. Or at least I think I know. She wishes that note in her locker this morning was from him. She's thinking about it right now. I know who it's really from. I'm staring at him right now, and it's not the three-chick-at-a-time Smokin' Oken by the showers. It's the blowing-every-girl-a-kiss-over-the-counter Rico. If I told her that I'm sure she'd freak though.

5:06 pm.

Miley slapped the journal out of my hands. Some nerve. "She's got nerve". He-he. OK, Stupid Hannah joke. But now she's left in boredom to go to talk to Oliver. Perfect chance for Miley Watch to continue. Doesn't she know that grabbing his shirt isn't winning him over? Ah, sigh. It appears she's a little ticked off that he's spent the entire afternoon cruisin' for chicks than spending it with us.

5:20 pm.

Oliver, Miley and I had a chat over our perfect Valentine's. Oliver's groaning. He says he doesn't want to do chick stuff today. Miley says she'll make it worth his while. I had to cover my mouth to stop an attack of the smirks. Oliver the simpleton. He doesn't even get that Miley's flirting with him. Wait. I don't think Miley gets that Miley's flirting with him! Am I the only one who can tell what's going on? Am I the only one doomed to see my two best friend's falling for each other and be unable to do anything about it?!! Am I the only one... OK... I'm done. I got carried away there. Anyway, Miley is asking Oliver if he wants to take a walk with us. Time for me to make a hasty exit and follow them secretly.

5:45 pm.

I yawned and pretended I was going to go home and sleep, when Miley didn't buy it I pretended I had a secret Valentine to meet. Yeah, I wish. Why do boys avoid me like the plague on Valentine's day? Is it because of the 'desperate' sign that Amber and Ashley stuck on my back today? Miley got 'dateless', which I much would have preferred to have - but it's not like I could have told them that. Walking up to Amber and Ashley and saying "Hey, can you make me dateless? Because I don't want to be desperate"
Anyway, I'm getting off track. Miley and Oliver bought it and went off on a nice romantic, V.day beach walk together!
Eep! I'm following them right now. Owch. These branches scrape. I hope they don't get too close to the water. There really isn't any coverage over there.
Oh! Shhhh... they're talking!
Time for me to transc... um, write it down.

"It's almost the end of the day and I don't know what to do about this Valentine!" (Oh, that's Miley BTW.)
O: You got a Valentine?
M: Yeah, but it could be from anyone...

Ha! From anyone! How much more obvious can you get Miley! That's like slapping him in the face with a wet, cold fish. Speaking of cold fish - I haven't forgotten about that. If Miley doesn't come out with it, I'm going to go into the ocean, come back with a cold, wet, slimy fish and slap her in the face with it.

O: You have no idea who?
M: If I did I would know what to do with it.

After that Miley mumbled something under her breath that might have been cheap giblets, or sweet niblets, but I'm not close enough to hear it correctly.

O: So it looks like we're both free on the V-day.

Then Oliver felt possessed to turn it into a rhyme. And he doesn't know why he's single on Valentine's day? I'll seriously never know about that boy.

O: So we be instead be getting B-zay

On a lil beach wal-kay

Where we be havin' a lil talk-ay

'Bout how we gots nobod-ay

M: But I'm thinking that is ok-ay

Cause I wanna spend it with you tod-ay.

If I was out in public with them right now I would be covering my face in shame. They're making a song and dance out of it.

Miley has her hand on her hip and Oliver with his hand on his is moving in sync with her. Is he trying to get a job as one of her back-up dancers? Because she promised me the first opening!
Owch. Branch.

O: This is fun. (Oh, "O" means "Oliver" just in case you don't get my super secret, secret codes)
M: Yeah it is.

She rests her head upon his chest and he puts and arm around her, but only hold it for a second because they both turn towards the bushes. Did I really squeal that loudly?

O: Hey, Miley?
M:Yeah Oliver?
O: How about we make this a non-Valentine's day?
M: What's a non-Valentine's day?
O: The opposite of Valentine's day. Just take everything and opposite it.
M: So instead of saying I love you, say I hate you?
O: And instead of giving someone chocolates give them... sand!

Oliver picked up sand and threw it at her. Smooth moves, Smokin' Oken.
She giggled and threw some back. This sucks. They don't know I'm here. I want to join in. Guess I'll just have to settle for sticking my head in the sand instead.

6:05 pm.

Ah! That is not good! That's the last time I have a sand fight with myself.
Oh, I'm missing Miley Watch.

Oliver's gagging with sand in his mouth. Donut. Seriously, how does he get any girls?

M: Oliver! Sorry!
O: (through splutters) All in the spirit of non-Valentine's day.
M: Boy, there isn't a romantic bone in your body.
O: Nope. This is how valentine's should be for the non-romantic.
M: Fine then. I hate you.

Oliver just swallows and stares at her.

O: Aren't you aware that means the opposite?

"Just say it already!" I shout. Oh oh. I shouted. This is not good. Noooooottt good.


Happy Valentine's Day Moliver Fans!