Disclaimer: I do not own the O.C. or anything involved.
This will be a series of memories from the new Fab Four: Ryan, Taylor, Seth, and Summer. Definite Sethummer and Townwood. First chapter from Seth's POV. Rate & Review lovelies!
Reflections
It wasn't supposed to be like this. Nothing could be worse than this. He thought Anna leaving was bad; he thought Ryan leaving Newport for Chino was hell. But both of those were nothing, nothing compared to the hell he was going through now. Ryan going back to Chino and leaving him all alone in the O.C. would have been bad. He would've been shoved around, teased, hurt. He would've been ignored by everyone again; he would be Seth Cohen, and no one could stop it. Maybe if he had a little faith; if he saw that shehad changed and that together, they could live through anything; his life would be good again. It would be bearable.
Ryan was back; that meant everything had to go back to the way it used to be. Right? Maybe leaving was a bad idea. Maybe sailing away on the boat he had named after her hadn't been the smartest thing to do. Maybe trying to stop thinking of his life, of his friends and family in Newport and making new friends in Portland was not the best idea. The worst thing he had done was trying to forget her, and all that she used to be, and all that she was. He had, however, succumbed to calling her at last, only to be greeted by either her long, monotone message service, or a click and a dial tone. Once, and only once, she spoke to him. He never could get her words out of his head.
"What the hell do you want from me Cohen?" Her voice rang in his ears as he grasped the phone in surprise. He didn't think she would answer him. The second he heard her sweet, smooth voice he was greeted by the image of her large, sweet eyes darkening in anger. He had lost the ability to speak, so he just stared at his feet, picturing her pink lips angrily pursed.
"I said, what do you want?!" Her voice came out shriller this time, and he cringed, both inwardly and outwardly. She was probably lying down on her shiny covers, her head in her hands as she mindlessly watched the television or read a magazine, and her feet dangling prettily in the air.
"I-I…I just wanted to talk." His words finally came, stuttering out of his lips.
"Talk?!" He listened to her frantic, bitter laugh as she echoed his words. "That ship sailed long, long ago. Just like you." Her words sounded hollow to him, broken and choked.
"Summer…Summer please, please listen to me." He pleaded with her; who was he kidding? He needed her.
"Listen…I did enough of that last year. And where did that land me? With a boyfriend who didn't care enough to stay with me, and who calls me just to 'talk'. No, I'm done with that." Each word she spoke was a blow, hitting him square in the chest each time.
"B-b-b-but I love you," he sputtered out, biting his bottom lip. He loved her, every fiber of his being needed to feel her with him, around him. Even when she ignored him, when she hated him, she was still there. She was still here; he could still see her smile, or in most cases, frown at him.
"No you don't Cohen." Her words hit him hard, and Seth Cohen was ashamed to admit that his eyes started to water, and soon enough, a tear slid down his cheek. "You never loved me. Who were you kidding? Just leave me alone."
"Summer, please. Please." His words came out half choked, his eyes stared at the ground, refusing to look up at Luke's anxious figure which had just emerged from the house.
"I'm done with this. So just don't talk to me. Ever." He could hear her sobs there, and he desperately wanted to cradle her in his bony arms.
"I need you." Those words rang true in his ears, and he heard another muffled sob, and finally a heated huff.
"No! You can't do this to me. Don't make me feel bad. You left me Cohen so don't start making me the bad guy. All you need is the heat of the chase, and the popularity boost I gave you. You just needed the protection, and nothing else. I'm done, we're done. For good." Her voice was angry, and it would've shattered his hear to pieces if it hadn't already been broken.
"Summer-Summer don't. "He heard a click and the steady ring of the dial tone as soon as he uttered the S. "We-we're over," he stared in disbelief at the phone, and dropping it on the ground. He stated it again, for both his and Luke's benefit. And without another word, he quietly made his way into the house, into the guest bedroom, where Seth Cohen finally let himself collapse onto the bed and fall down in tears.
Reflecting back on that now, as he got out of the car, ready for yet another day of torture at Harbor, he thought himself lucky not to have been a victim of one of her rage blackouts. At least she hadn't yelled at him. Who was he kidding? Those bitter, cool words were much wore than any one of her torrents. Those words were so un-Summer. They were the anti-Summer. The Summer he knew would've yelled for hours; she would've blamed him for everything over and over again. She would've forgiven him eventually, she would've said ''I love you too." All he got was a "No you didn't."
And did he stop making mistakes? No, Seth didn't. His latest one was trying to convince Summer he still loved her. Instead, he had made a fool of himself, and worse, her, in front of everyone, including Zach. Every word she had said at him in front of the car; every single word had been true. Except a few. He wasn't just after her for the chase, he wanted everything. He didn't just love her when he couldn't have her; he loved her all the time. He treasured every moment he spent with her; imagine him, Seth Cohen, dating the goddess, the absolute queen by the name of Summer Roberts!
He loved every single thing about her; he even found her rage blackouts beautiful and adorable, even when she was mad at him and scared him. He loved the way she bit her ripe lower lip when she was anxious or nervous; the way that same bottom lip protruded when she wanted something. He loved the way she wouldn't take no for an answer; he loved the way her large, doe-like eyes glinted with determination and sparkled with mischief. Even the way she was picky about the clothes she wore, and how she did her hair. There was no label to put her under. Definitely not Ice Queen, in no way a Bitch; not a Ditz, not a Fashionista. She was Summer Roberts; there was no label that she could fit under. She was cute, quirky even; smart, sweet, passionate, strong, confident, brave, and don't even start on her appearance. Piling into the school, walking among the water polo players and the preppy girls, Seth kept his eyes trained on the ground.
Ryan was probably studying, like he had been for awhile, and god knows where Marissa was, and who she was with. He was completely alone, and already had a blooming bruise on his shoulder from being shoved around the crowd. He couldn't stop his eyes from searching out the familiar small, bobbing brown head; the curvy body that he could never take his eyes off of. All of a sudden, he found his books on the ground and the brown head he was looking for furiously snatching her books back up.
"Summer…" He began, unsure of how to continue. Better to be awkward and apologetic than to be confident and defensive. Or, at least, that's what he thought. "Hey."
"Go away Cohen," she mumbled, her glossed lips pursed in an angry, irritated frown, one of the sexiest looks she had. Or at least it was in his opinion.
"Look Summer, I'm sorry." He bit his lip, more irritated with himself than with her.
"You're sorry. You should be."
"I really am. I didn't mean to embarrass you in front of your boy-…in front of Zach." He managed to say. "I just wanted to show you how much you mean to me."
"You showed me by running in front of Zach's car?! You showed me by breaking our promise; our shot at being friends? What you wanted was forgiveness, what you wanted was to win this little game you're playing. But I'm not playing it anymore." She got back on her legs, turning around to walk away and averting her eyes.
He did the only thing he could. Seth grabbed her shoulder and walked in front of her. "Summer, Summer please. I really am sorry. And I do, I do want to be friends." He wanted to be so much more than that to her, but friends would do for now.
Summer rolled her beautiful eyes, but gave him a small smile. "Fine." He had to resist the urge to pump his fist up in the air triumphantly like he usually did. "But, and this is the one condition." He nodded, listening. "There will be no 'Summer I love you' or 'Summer, I want you back'. Friends are friends, and this is your last chance with me." With those words she stalked off, but managed to shoot him a smile. Seth Cohen grinned triumphantly, waited for her to turn to corner, let out a hoot, and pumped his fist up in the air. "Yes!" Unfortunately, he was Seth Cohen, and the next thing he felt was a hard shove and the hard metallic ground under his cheek."
…
"Aw, poor baby," Summer Roberts teased her boyfriend, shoving his shoulder playfully. Seth Cohen cursed lightly and took her in his arms, ignoring the light giggles coming from Taylor Townsend and Ryan Atwood's mouths.
"And that was how I ended up with that shiner. And how I got you back." He couldn't resist gloating again, and for that he earned a punch from Summer.
"I got to hand it to you man; you did a good job of getting Summer's forgiveness without being screamed at." Seth shrugged modestly, giving Ryan a high five and ignored Taylor and Summer's cries of protest.
"Well I think you did the right thing Summer. I mean, what was this boy thinking, leaving you all alone in Newport," Taylor teased, leaning on Ryan affectionately.
"I know, I know," Summer giggled, the girls doing their own versions of high fives.
"And again, I'm sorry for sailing away for three months." Seth kissed his girlfriend lightly on her head, and earned himself a small peck on the lips.
"It wasn't your entire fault," Summer began. "I mean, I wasn't being the most gracious girl ever. I was sort of being a bitch."
"Summer? A bitch? Never," Ryan taunted, wrapping Taylor up in his arms. "OK Roberts, time for your side of the story."
"Well," Summer started, eyeing Seth teasingly. "I think that you should go first Atwood, make it more suspenseful."
Ryan rolled his eyes, but Taylor's eyes had lit up. "Go Ryan. Please, I want to hear what you were thinking."
"Oh but Taylor, you always know what I'm thinking."
"Ryan…"
"Fine, here we go."