Disclaimer: Um...why would Tamora Pierce even WRITE this??? Well, the world and the characters are hers, we just kinda...borrowed...them for our insanity...

A/N: Buggy sees London, Buggy sees France, Buggy sees Numy-pie in his underpants
Lioness: Well, we obviously know who BUGGY has a crush on...
Buggy: I have no comment other than that I am not in love with a fictional character ( Numy-pie is real!!)
Lioness:...Okay...Numair is real...(SAVE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Buggy: Just read the story (if you review I will give you chocolate covered Numy-pie's)
Lioness: What she said, but without the 'Numy-pies'...Enjoy...
Buggy: That's right he's mine so back off!
Lioness: O.o (steps away from Buggy) Whatever...
Buggy: You're just jealous because we wrote the story about Numy-pie and not Rosto(who Lioness has an unhealthy obsession with[including a disturbing shrine)
Lioness: I have what, now? (Okay, she's right about the obsession, but it's not unhealthy, and I do not have a shrine dedicated to Rosto. That would be blasphemy - I'm a Christian...)
Buggy: Enough of our inane blabbering please read the story and if you don't like it I'm sorry, if you do you are my new best Friend)
Lioness: Hey! I thought I was your best friend...

How will this author's note end? Just wait until chapter two!

A Tale of Two Mages

Chapter 1: The lemony-chicken potion

Once upon a time there were two mages that were madly in love with each other. Like every other normal couple they had lovers spats. Only problem they were both insanely powerful. Beware to anyone that got in their way when they were at war.

It was a bright sunny day when the first "incident" occurred. Unfortunately Numair Salmalin was not enjoying it with his fiancée, he was in his work room slaving over an experiment he had been working on for the last week. Said fiancée was plotting an evil plan to distract said mage from his work. Said fiancée had already done everything within her power short of dropping an elephant on said mage to allure him away from his tedious hobby.

Hearing Arra-Numair (sorry wrong name) collapse she crept quietly into the workroom and over to the table that was housing the experiment. Inside a heinously bulbous container was a slimy yellow liquid that smelled like chicken. Roasted chicken with scallions and fresh herbs with a hint of lemon to be precise. Carefully she tipped said heinously bulbous container over and poured said lemony-chicken liquid out the window. Everything would have been perfect had the Lioness not been walking below said window. Showing her ever present temper she threw a tantrum the likes of which shall not be described in detail. In order to preserve innocence most of the words she screamed (at a pitch no human ears could hear[except for Daine) at a certain master mage with black hair, deep brown eyes and a dashing wonderful, handsome (cough) …will not be recorded. Daine giggled maniacally at her extremely ticked off friend. Num(y-pie)air would not be able to ignore her now.

Num(y-pie)air woke to his fiancée laughing out the window with a missing experiment and an odd buzzing in his ears(Alanna's high pitched shrieking could be heard by his wonderfully, sensitive, masculine…[cough ears). "Dainy-poo where is my potion." Dain(y-poo)e turned around and thought for a few moments with a decidedly too innocent look on her face. "What potion Numy-pie?" He had seen that look before, the same look when she had done something naughty. "Veralidaine Fuchsia Sarrasri how dare you touch my lemony-chicken) flavoring potion!!" With a cry of sheer monstrosity he launched himself into the next room and flew (literally) out of their rooms.

Three hours (though it feels like years without a certain master mage with black hair, deep brown eyes and a dashing wonderful, handsome [cough not there) later:

Dainy-poo (as she will now be called for all eternity[maniacal laughter from Buggy and Lioness) walked into the rooms she shared with Numy-pie (see above parentheses). Observing her surroundings she halted and fainted in an un-elegant heap on the floor. You may ask dear reader what would cause such an awful reaction from our dear (master mage stealing) wildmage. I am sorry to say you will have to wait till the next chapter. SO HURRY UP AND REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!