Disclaimer: Gossip Girl isn't mine.
AN: This is a fic I've been writing for a while now...I just needed to write this. This should only be a few chapters long, maybe two or three. Please review and let me know what you think. There are quite a number of flashbacks so it might be a bit choppy, and the characters are a bit OOC. All mistakes are mine.

I Do
Part 1

The Archibald–van der Woodsen nuptial was a success. All the glitter and glam that was expected from an Upper East Side wedding was present. Everyone who was someone was invited, they were the people whose trust funds could feed a third world country.

The Palace ballroom was decorated with calla lilies, daisies, and cosmos. There were candles on every table and people drank Dom Pérignon from crystal flutes.

The groom looked handsome in his tuxedo and the bride...well, she was Serena van der Woodsen. Enough said. People oohed and ahhed and sang her praises. She looked beautiful in her strapless Monique Lhuillier gown and her golden hair cascading over her toned shoulders.

Blair watched from the sideline as her friend and ex-boyfriend mingled with their guests. Serena and Nate had gotten together a few months after she and Nate broke up, a few weeks after Dan broke Serena's heart. To say that she was angry and hurt was an understatement. But with Chuck's help by going to bars with her, holding her hair away from her face and rubbing her back while she puked every drink she consumed into the toilet bowl, and listening to her rant for weeks, she was slowly able to get over it. She looked for a distraction and she found it in Carter Baizen. Soon she and Serena were friends again, and she and Nate were on speaking terms. But for some reason, she and Chuck began to drift apart.

Chuck Bass watched Blair watching the golden couple. He shook his head and went to the bar to ask for another drink. He looked down at his scotch on the rocks and watched the liquid swirl in his glass. How long was she going to pine after him? He thought that she was over Nathaniel. Apparently she wasn't and it made him sick to his stomach.

He felt someone stand beside him turned his head to see a woman in a red gown. She was a brunette with blue eyes. He looked at her appraisingly and gave her a slow smile.

From the corner of his eye, he saw Blair get up from her seat and leave the room. Following her form with his gaze, his stomach dropped. He wondered if she was going to wallow in self-pity…just as what he was doing right at that moment.

He shook his head in disgust. Bass men never wallowed.

- 0 -

After the debacle with Blair, he went to Monte Carlo to regroup. He had to get away from all the drama, and needed to forget about Blair. He didn't know what he felt for her, but it was something he has never experienced before. There was fluttering in his stomach, butterflies as she called them (He would never be caught saying anything sappy). But she would always choose Nate, and when he saw them kiss to seal their reunion he felt as if somebody stabbed him in his chest, and twisted the knife to add insult.

He needed to see if what he felt for her was a passing thing, an infatuation, or if it was love. But how could it have been love when it was not something that was shown to him by his father? It just couldn't be.

He had purchased a return ticket to New York, but he fell in love with the place and everything else that is Monaco that he decided to stay and finish the rest of his schooling in an international school. He refused to believe that he was pulling a Serena, but the thought of seeing her back together with Nate was definitely one of the deciding factors. His father didn't like it, but Chuck didn't give him any choice. Thanks to his grandfather Bart gave in.

After graduation, his cousin had invited him to go backpacking in Europe and Asia. No, thank you. Why carry your own luggage around when you could have someone do that for you? Who would want to stay in a hostel room with strangers? But his cousin was able to convince him. If they got tired, they could always use their credit cards and stay in hotels. Surprisingly they hadn't needed to use it; that would have ruined the whole experience. And Chuck didn't do things halfway.

It was during this trip when his world widened beyond the Upper East Side and Monaco, and learned that the world does not revolve around Chuck Bass. He had met new people, fellow backpackers, travelers, and even locals.

He had met people who hadn't known who he was, and those few people who did didn't give a rat's ass that he was a Bass. They had befriended him not because of this money or his name. This he found oddly refreshing. Though, he had gotten his ass kicked once or twice, a sign that he needed an attitude change.

He was still Chuck but a better version of him. He was still…extra charming to the women, though to a lesser degree. He had even tried having relationships with a few of them.

He still loved Scotch. But he learned to drink beer, but Bud was out of the question. Only Belgian, Czech, and German beer would do.

He could still be an ass. He kicked out his roommate…just because.

He was actually smarter than he gave himself credit for and got into Yale. It was Blair's dream school, he hadn't forgotten. He half hoped half dreaded seeing her, but it was a big place and he hadn't run into her until senior year. It was exams week, in the library when he spotted a petite woman with curly brown locks on tiptoes, trying to reach for a book. It was confirmed that it was Blair when he noticed a red headband with a bow that perfectly matched her outfit.

It had been the best and worst day of his life.

- 0 -

Chuck took a swig of his scotch and finished it in one gulp. He needed fresh air. Making his way to the French doors to the balcony, the cool spring night greeted him, as well as the sight of Blair looking far off as if deep in thought.

Blair sighed as she watched the lights from the other buildings, but not really seeing them. She was happy for her best friend and ex-boyfriend.

He had loved her, she knew this. But he hadn't been in love with her. She realized this when she removed the blinders she had on. She was only in love with the idea of Nate, of being with him, and living happily ever after with their beautiful children in their New York penthouse. In the Upper East Side, of course. It had been a school girl's fantasy.

But Blair had grown up. She wanted more than what Nate could give her. Passion. Excitement. Things she had felt that night at the limo and the following days up until her birthday. Only one person had ever made her feel that way.

When she learned that he left for Monaco, she felt confusion, guilt, sadness, anger, and pain rolled into one. She couldn't help but think that she was the reason for his departure. Could he have felt something for her? She was sure he hadn't because Chuck Bass didn't do love…or any feeling that was closely related to it.

Confusion and guilt turned into anger and pain. How dare he leave without saying goodbye? When Nate had failed to convince him to come home, he didn't even call or send an email.

When he left she didn't have anyone to exchange snarky and witty banters with, she didn't have to plot with against the lower class people, and most of all she didn't have anyone to catch her when she fell, when Nate disappointed her –again.

She had missed his smirks and his evil glares. She had missed seeing him with his damned scarf. Once, she saw a dark haired sophomore wearing a colorful scarf in the middle of spring. She marched right up him and said in her bitchy Blair Waldorf tone, "You think you're the next Chuck Bass? Please remove that hideous scarf and that pathetic smirk off your face because, seriously, you look like a flatulent peacock."

When she and Nate broke up right after college, she hooked up with Carter Baizen. He was like Nate, handsome and rich. But some ways he was also like Chuck –adventurous and reckless. But she felt that something wasn't right. He didn't smirk often enough, he didn't make her laugh or smile as much, he didn't make her feel alive. Blair wasn't a silly girl anymore. She cared deeply for Carter, but she wasn't sure if she was in love with him.

A soft wind blew and Blair shivered. She hugged herself to ward off the chill and suddenly something warm and heavy was placed on her shoulders. Surprised and grateful, she turned and saw Chuck, his hair slightly tousled and his tie slightly askew. "Chuck!" she gasped.

As much as she wanted to deny it, there was something about him that drew her to Chuck. He had an air of confidence, unlike the false bravado that he had as teenager.

"Blair."

She wrapped his jacket tighter around her body, the scent of soap and aftershave teasing her nostrils. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he said. "So what are you doing out here, Blair?"

"I needed to get some air."

Chuck raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure that's what you're doing?"

"What do you mean?"

"Didn't you come out here to brood and sulk? I mean the love of your life and your best friend just got married," he said nastily. He wanted to shake some sense into her, tell her that she was just wasting her time and affections on someone who didn't love her.

Her eyes hardened. "What do you care, Bass? Oh, wait. You don't care about anything or anyone at all except yourself!"

Chuck put a hand over his chest. "Ouch. That just broke my heart, Waldorf," sarcasm dripping from his tongue.

"As if you have one. What are you doing here? Finished with your new slut already?"

Chuck lifted an eyebrow. "Jealous?"

"Of what? Of a woman being fucked by a man whore?"

Chuck's hands clenched. "Is that the mouth that you kiss Carter with…or suck his cock with? No wonder it's dirty." He saw a something flash and he caught Blair's hand before it hit his face. "Ah ah ah. Keep your claws to yourself, darling."

"Oh, but they're there to scratch your pretty face with," Blair said with faux sweetness, pulling her hand away.

Chuck smirked. "So you think I have a pretty face."

"For someone who looks like a beast; yes." Blair knew that was a lie. Though Chuck didn't have a pretty face, she would say that his features were striking with his thick brows and sharp nose. But it was his brown eyes and his soft pink lips that balanced his features.

"You got your characters mixed up, Mrs. Big Bad Wolf."

"I know. I don't care. If I want to have Scarlett O' Hara go to the woods and visit the three bears, I will do so."

Chuck shook his head. "I don't know if Ms. Porter would be proud of your creativity or be horrified that you don't remember your fairytales. Hmmm…I wonder how she is. I do remember that she had nicely shaped breasts and a husky voice. Do you think she's married?"

Blair scrunched her nose. "That's disgusting! She must be ninety!"

"So what? I like women with experience. We could learn a thing or two from each other," he said with a mischievous grin.

"Is that all you think about? Sex?" she said, rolling her eyes. But she couldn't help but picture him with his sleek body on top of hers, pinning her on a four poster-bed while thrusting in and out of her.

"Who says anything about sex? I was talking about literature. Get your mind out of the gutter, Waldorf!"

She crossed her arms over her chest and shook away the unwanted images. "And what do her nicely shaped breasts have to do with literature?" she asked, keeping her voice steady.

"Poetry, m' dear. They could my inspiration."

Blair burst out laughing. A smile formed on Chuck's lips. "What? You don't believe me?"

"You?" She said disbelievingly. "Poetry?"

Chuck's gaze bore into hers as he took a step towards her.

"Body of a woman, white hills, white thighs
You look like a world lying in surrender"

Blair's eyes widened and she stared back at him. Chuck continued, and moved even closer to her. He leaned down, his mouth touching her ear.

"My rough peasant's body digs in you
And makes the son leap from the depth of the earth"

Blair's entire body was tingling by the time he was done. She sighed at the loss of contact as Chuck disentangled himself from her.

Chuck moved away from her. If he didn't he would have kissed her right then and there. He ran a hand through his hair. Christ! Baizen was a lucky bastard. He couldn't understand what Blair saw in him. Carter was a prick, but she has been dating him for about a year now so she must see something in him.

It was fucking ironic how the one thing that he wanted the most, he couldn't have, he couldn't just covet. Chuck still took what he wanted, when he wanted it, but not Blair, not with Blair. Her happiness was important to him. Was she happy with Carter? He wasn't so sure.

"So where did you learn that poem?" Blair asked in a breathy voice.

"Lit class in Yale. I only remember the first stanza though."

"I'm surprised that you even remember something you studied in school."

"What can I say? I'm just amazing."

She rolled her eyes and laughed. Once again Chuck noticed how beautiful she was. Her hair was pinned up at the back of her head with a few wisps framing her delicate face. He had always loved her hair with its shiny chocolate colored whorls.

Blair noticed his eyes on her and started to feel conscious. Her gown was matte gold and it wasn't her best color. She looked down and away, crossing her arms. "You look good, Waldorf," Chuck blurted. He almost winced and chastised himself inwardly.

Her eyes lit up and she smiled at him, not noticing his cheeks turning a shade of pink. "Thanks, Bass," she said shyly. "You don't look so bad yourself."

"I know."

"Egotistical ass!"

"Well, it wouldn't be me if I wasn't."

"How true!"

"But you love me anyway," he said with a smirk to hide his secret longing.

"In your dreams!" she shot back, her heart sinking.

"Every day, Waldorf. And every night."

Blair wished he would stop saying things like that. It just made her hope for something she knew would never happen. "Must be hard for you then," she said with a smirk.

Chuck's mouth twisted in a grin. "For you...always."

"You're disgusting!"

"You already said that, Blair. You need to improve your vocabulary."

"How about you're a pig."

Chuck snorted. "That's the best you could come up with?"

"You're an asshole."

"Much better, but we already know that."

Blair just rolled her eyes. She didn't feel like arguing with him about what he is. "So until when will you be in New York?" she asked, changing the topic.

"I leave for London tomorrow." Though he considered New York his home, Chuck flew quite often London with a few stopovers in Monaco for business. He had opened his own chain of hotels, two of them in Europe and one New York.

Blair's face fell. "So soon?"

"Why Blair, if I didn't know you actually want me to stay," Chuck said with a grin.

She let out an unladylike snort. "That's just because I don't have anyone to argue with. Serena is not into that and Nate…well forget about him. Most of the time he's totally clueless about what I'm saying."

"And Carter?"

Blair lifted a shoulder. "I never really tried with him."

"Why not?" Chuck asked curios. He had to admit that it sent a thrill knowing that this was something he shared with Blair.

"I don't know…I guess…I don't know." Banter. Witty comebacks. It was theirs. Hers and Chuck's.

"You can call you know. There's this thing called the phone."

"But it's not the same," she pouted. "When will you be back though?"

Chuck sighed. "Ah…I might not be coming back for a while."

Two notches formed between Blair's perfectly arched brows. "What do you mean you're not coming back for a while? How long is 'a while'?" she asked, panic starting fill her chest.

"I might not come back in three or four months," he said quietly.

"Oh," she whispered. She wanted to ask him why…and to ask him to stay, but she didn't have the right. She plastered a smile on her face. "Well, I'll miss you, Chuckie," calling him his nickname when they were still children.

Chuck grimaced. "Don't call me that."

"Aw…but it's such a cute nickname." Blair giggled.

"Want me to start calling you Shorty again?"

"Not fair! Shorty is an ugly nickname."

"And so is Chuckie."

"Fine, I won't call you Chuckie anymore."

"Good! And I won't call you Shorty."

"Deal!" Blair nodded. She let out a deep breath and looked off into the night. "Don't you miss it?

"Miss what?" he asked.

"Being kids? Not worrying about anything. The world seemed so much simpler before."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. But I do like being an adult. There are just some – no – a lot of things you can't do and enjoy when you were a kid," Chuck said with a naughty grin.

"Ugh! There you go again!" she said, but was also grinning. She tilted her head thoughtfully. "And I honestly enjoyed Yale. I could be myself, no psycho mother to watch what I eat, and no one to judge me. I didn't need to be 'perfect Blair' or 'Queen B'."

There, they had been normal teenagers, studying and worrying about grades, going to college parties, and going to Bulldogs games. One of her fondest memories was when they watched a football game. It had been a cool night and they were sitting at the bleachers. Blair was wearing a long-sleeved shirt under her jacket, but she still felt cold. She kept on snuggling closer to Chuck for warmth when he had said, "Blair, if you move an inch more, you're going to end up pushing me off this bench."

"I will not!" she had cried indignantly. But he had removed his scarf and wrapped it loosely around both their necks. Putting his arm around her, he pulled her closer to his body.

At that moment, she had felt a fluttering in her stomach. But they were barely acknowledged.

Blair smiled, thinking about that night. "You remember that night we watched a football game? The one and only football game we went to?"

Chuck returned her smile. "What about it?"

"It had been so cold you bought hot chocolate for us."

"Yeah, but you were eager to drink it that you removed the cover to cool it a bit. And the Bulldogs touched down…"

"Everyone stood up and cheered…including me…" Blair continued.

"And you ended up spilling half of your drink on the girl in front of you," Chuck said finishing her sentence.

Blair smile widened. "Did not! I spilled it on her jacket."

"Same thing."

"No, it's not. And it was a cheap and ugly jacket!" she said snottily. "And not to mention out of fashion!" And they both laughed at the memory.

Soon they were both silent, just enjoying each other's company. A whisper of wind blew Chuck reached out and tucked her hair behind her ear, his fingers brushing her cheek. She felt soft like petals of a flower. Suddenly the air shifted and it turned warm.

Blair stared into Chuck's eyes and they were like chocolate…liquid, dark. His pupils dilated and his gaze shifted to her lips. Unconsciously, she bit her lower lip…inviting him for a taste.

Chuck's control was slipping. He wanted to kiss her. What would they taste like? Sweet like chocolates or tart like the champagne she drank. He started to lower his face and Blair tilted her head back, anticipating the touch of his mouth.

"Blair? Chuck?" Serena's voice called out and the pair sprang apart like children caught doing something naughty.

Blair took a deep breath, calming her heart. "Yeah. Hi! Did you need something?" she asked in a shaky but cheerful voice.

Serena entered the balcony. "No, Nate and I were just wondering where you guys were. What are you guys doing here?"

"Nothing. We just needed some air," Chuck answered.

Serena lifted her gown to keep from stepping on her skirts. "Well come on inside! You guys should dance!"

Blair nodded. "Ok. Yeah, we'll be there."

"All right." Serena turned and went back inside, leaving the two frustrated yet relieved Blair and Chuck. But still, Blair wanted to scream at Serena and Chuck wanted to punch something.

The door closed and they waited for the other to say something. Both were silent and the sound of tinkling crystals from the ballroom could be heard.

Finally Chuck held out his hand, "Shall we?"

Blair smiled and shyly slipped to his, electricity running from her arm to her spine. Could Chuck feel that? "We shall," she said.

TBC ...