Disclaimer: I own no part of Sailor Moon.

Okay, so be warned, some explicit content. Don't read it if you aren't ready for it.

Enjoy the last chapter of After All is Said and Done.

Usagi looked up at the ceiling of her room, Luna's body warming her belly. She couldn't sleep and hadn't been able to for the week since she got back. She remembered everything that happened, every moment, every detail. She could feel Kataki's fingers on her breasts and thighs, her friends' blood on her hands. The girls were recovering in the hospital and had been so wonderful about the whole thing. They were glad to have her back. They were the best friends she could hope for.

Then there was Mamoru. There was something different in his eyes now. She wondered if he still loved her. He had gone to the hospital with her every day to visit the girls, but they didn't feel like a couple anymore. Her blue eyes moved to the pink, heart shaped ring on her dresser. Was that what she still wanted? Did he? She had no doubt that she wanted to be with him, but Usagi was unsure if they were the same people, if they needed to start over as those people. She knew what it was like to be with a man, to feel physical love. She wanted to have an adult relationship with Mamoru. They had been so immature in their relationship. She was giggly and shallow; he was patient and slow moving. They had kissed, his hand had grazed her breast, but never more.

When those moments had happened, she would feel the warmth blossoming inside her, filling her, making her ache, but she had no idea what that had meant. She would grab something to eat or laugh awkwardly. Usagi understood that she had wanted more, then, but she was too naïve to ask. Could she ask now? Usagi bit her lip in aggravation. What was she supposed to do? Being with Mamoru had been so easy before. It was second nature. She would see him and her whole world would light up. Now… now it was different. She felt herself light up, but she held it within her. She didn't run to him. She didn't hug him to her and say she was lucky. Usagi held back and gave him the option to come to her. He could take her hand or put his arm around her and she would know what to do. But he hadn't yet. He'd say "hi" in a voice devoid of emotion and walk with her to see her friends. His eyes were still that blue grey, but there was something missing, something angry, something hesitant in them.

"Can't sleep again?"

Usagi started and dropped her eyes to meet Luna's. "Just thinking."

"About?" Luna jumped off Usagi's stomach and sat on the bed, waiting.

Usagi sat up and wrapped her arms around her knees. "Mamoru. Things are different."

"Yes, but maybe he's waiting for you to make the first move."

Usagi cocked her head and then sighed, looking out the window. "And what would that move be? Do I hug him? Do I kiss him? Do I hold his hand? We haven't touched since the battle. We have barely spoken. I don't know what to do."

Luna paused, looking up at Usagi's pained face and sighed. "What happened was hard, hard on you, hard on him, hard on us all. You were with another man, acting as his wife, and the man whom you always promised yourself to had to see that an—"

"I know that!" Usagi growled angrily, "But, I was being controlled. I fought so hard to push out of the blackness I was in. I tried. I… I have so little strength left now. It was so hard for me to stop the blade from destroying my friends. I'd seen through hated filled eyes and I yet, I was able to love them enough to stop myself from killing them."

"I know, Usagi. I understand what you're saying. But did you say this to Mamoru?"

Usagi rested her chin on her knees. "No. I don't know if he wants to hear it. Something changed once we got back to Earth. When we were in the palace, his eyes were still soft. But something changed when Kataki died and Midori told us about the other women. I don't know if Mamoru really believed that Kataki and I… Kataki and I... had been… intimate." A shudder ran down Usagi's spin and she fought the urge to throw up. The nightmares when she was able to sleep were filled with Kataki's hands, his mouth, and the knife. Usagi shook her head and looked at Luna' kind yellow eyes. "I would never have allowed that if I hadn't been controlled."

"Tell him all this," Luna said softly. "Rest and in the morning, tell him everything. I know Mamoru, I know he'll understand."

Usagi lay back down, curling around the black cat. "I hope so."

"Usagi-chan!" Rei called happily as Usagi walked into the room.

"Hi, Rei-chan," she answered softly, guilt still crushing her. "Is Mamoru here yet?"

Rei's eyes softened slightly. "No, he isn't. Is something wrong?"

Usagi shrugged. "I just need to talk to him."

"Good luck." Rei winked. "Mamoru!"

Usagi turned to see him walking in, his green pants and black turtleneck so familiar. "Hi," she said as he came to her side.

His eyes were still that strange mixture as they focused on her. "Hi." He turned back to Rei and looked at the rest of the sleep scouts. "How are you feeling?"

"Much better. But I think I'm about ready for a nap." A sly smile crept onto her face and Usagi wanted to laugh, but something stopped the sound.

"We'll let you sleep." Mamoru turned and started heading out of the hospital wing.

"Bye, Rei." Usagi placed a soft kiss on her friend's forehead.

"Just be honest, Usagi." Rei smiled.

Usagi nodded and headed out the door. She jogged to catch up to Mamoru and followed him out into the cold December afternoon. "Can we take a walk?"

"Of course." His voice was edgy and they headed towards the park.

The wind was chilly, but Usagi's deep purple turtleneck kept her warm and glued her heart in place. Nerves were making her shake and she begged for the courage to talk to him.

"What do you want to say, Usagi?"

Usagi started as he stopped and looked at her. "I think we need to talk, Mamo-ch—"

"Don't call me that."

Hearing her words thrown back at her broke her heart. "Okay. I need to know why you can barely look at me. Why are you so angry?"

"Why? You want to know why?" His hands were balled up into fists and he eyes were dark with rage. "Another man took what I always waited to be given to me and you let him do it. You were with someone else, Usagi, after you said that we couldn't be together anymore! Of course I'm angry!"

Usagi's own rage flared. "I was being controlled! Don't you understand? It wasn't a decision that I made, it was the decision that Kataki made for me. He raped me!"

Mamoru stepped back. "I… I don't think so."

"You have no idea what I went through." Tears were hot on her face as she saw his disbelief. "The cuts I got were cursed, Mamoru Chiba. They were turning my star seed black and that was controlled my emotions and my actions. When he took me, I wasn't fully controlled. He cut me again, here," Usagi pointed to the white scar on her collarbone. "Then I was almost completely under his curse, but when he took me… he took me… to his bedroom… something inside me was fighting him. I was fighting to gain control of my body. Fighting to keep what I wanted to give you, but he cut me again." Usagi pulled her turtleneck lower, grateful that the material was soft and stretchy, and showed him the white scar on the top of her breast. "Then I was completely changed and I was under hi control."

Mamoru was silent as she put the turtleneck back in place. His eyes were confused, but anger and betrayal still swirled inside them. "Another man has been with you. Another man has kissed you and touched you. He has been… in… inside you. I can't do this." Mamoru turned and started walking away.

"Mamoru, stop! Please! Onegai!" She dropped to her knees, her heart breaking, her chest aching. "Onegai," she whispered.

"I can't."

She looked up and he had stopped walking. He wasn't looking at her, but at the sky. "I can't, Usagi. I can't be with you, knowing another man has."

"That's so stupid, Mamoru! I'm yours. I have always been. I will always be. You don't know the pain I went through. Can't you imagine, for a moment, what it was like for me to be unable to control my body and watch as that man raped me. I haven't been able to sleep since, seeing it, feeling it in my dreams." Usagi shook, the memories still feeling so real.

"Usagi, I'm sorry. I'm not strong enough for this. I'm not strong enough to heal you and heal myself."

Usagi looked up and he was gone. Sobs broke from her lips and filled the night. Eventually she quieted and stood, feeling the eyes on strangers on her. She didn't care. She walked home, no paying attention to anything around her. Luna had been wrong. He hadn't understood. She had been screaming and crying in that dark place that the knife had locked her in. The entire time, she had thought of him, had faith in him, and he had disappointed her.

She found herself in her room, Luna waiting on her bed. The little cat said nothing, sadness and disbelief on her face. Usagi's eyes moved to the ring on the bureau and fought the renewed tears. "I need to give him back the ring, I guess."

"Don't do this now, Usagi." Luna's voice was soft and full of pity.

"If I don't do it now, I'll never have the courage. Besides, I can't stand to look at it. It wasn't real, anyway." Her voice caught and she closed her mouth, picking up the ring and running out of the house. She slowed to a walk again and she headed towards his house. She would give him the ring and say goodbye forever. That would be it. Today hadn't been a real goodbye and she needed it. She needed him to look her in the eyes and say it.

She knocked on his door, taking a deep breath.

His eyes were full of surprise as he opened the door. "What do you want?"

She held up her hand. "To give this back to you. I wanted to say a proper goodbye. You know, a clean break. I don't want to hurt you anymore."

Mamoru picked the small ring up from her palm and looked at it. His face was haggard, his eyes tormented. "Okay."

"So, Chiba Mamoru, goodbye. Daisuki desu. Always. Please be happy." Usagi turned and walked down the hallway.

"Goodbye, Usako," Mamoru whispered and closed the door.

Pain split her chest and she clutched at her heart as she frantically pressed the elevator button. Disappointment was filling her, ripping open her insides. She had thought, for some reason, that maybe this would make him change his mind, but it seemed that she would never be with him again.

"Wait."

She stiffened and turned. He stood outside his door, tears on his cheeks. "Please wait."

"What is it?" she asked softly, clutching her chest still. Hope was shattered and he would only shattered her more if he didn't let her go.

"I…" He looked down at the ring in his hand. "I'm sorry."

"For?" She felt her body shaking.

"For giving you this ring."

Usagi bit her lip, trying to hold back the scream. She had no idea he could be so cruel. "Forgiven. Now… Now… I need to go if you're through hurting me."

"That isn't what I mean."

"Then what do you mean!" Usagi screamed, falling to her knees. "Oh god, Mamoru, I can't take much more of this. Please, just finish torturing me. I'm not strong enough for more pain. Kataki killed so much of me. Please just kill the rest and let me be so I can try to piece myself together again."

She heard a sob and looked up at him. His face was in his hands and he was shaking. "Please forgive me." He dropped his hands and the eyes she knew and loved were there again. "I was so stupid. I didn't… I didn't want to listen. I wanted to believe the betrayal instead of the truth. I don't want to torture you. I don't want you to go through more pain."

"I… I don't understand," Usagi whispered, closing her eyes.

"Daisuki desu, Usako. More than anyone in the world. You are everything to me. What I meant before is that I'm sorry for giving you this ring when I didn't know what I wanted it to mean. You were right. I gave you the ring, which should have meant that I wanted to be with you for ever, but instead I ran away. I left you to fight on your own. I left you to think I didn't love you because I could never return your letters."

She heard him crouch beside her, putting a hand on her wet cheek. She opened her eyes and looked into his face.

"Will you ever forgive me? I have done you so many wrongs. When I broke up with you because of those dreams, you fought endlessly to get me back. Yet, when you broke up with me, I let you go. I let you go, believing that was what was best. I didn't fight you. I left you alone again. I've been so wrong. Please, forgive me, Usako."

"You were always forgiven, Mamoru. That's part of loving someone with every piece of your heart."

Mamoru pressed his forehead to hers, closing his eyes, fresh tears trailing down his cheeks. "I love you with every piece of me, Usako. Trying to say goodbye to you was like trying to cut myself in half. I'll never say goodbye to you again." He opened his eyes and swept her into his arms, holding her tightly to his chest. "I'm never letting go of you."

Usagi pressed her face into his throat, smiling. "I don't want you too."

"This place is beautiful, Mamo-chan. Isn't it a little expensive?" Usagi asked as the hostess sat them at a table by the window of a French restaurant, the most expensive one in Tokyo. Usagi smiled widely at him, feeling her heart swell at his happy blue grey eyes.

"I'm glad you like it, Usako. Just enjoy. I wanted to take you out on a proper date and I thought this would be a nice place to celebrate our anniversary."

"It's perfect!" She giggled softly and opened her menu. It had been a year and a half since they had gotten back together. They had taken it slow. Everything was so new again and Usagi loved it. It wasn't the same as before. Things were so innocent. But, they hadn't made love yet and that was okay. Usagi didn't want to push Mamoru. He had seen her naked, though, and that was a memory that burned her with pain, but also joy.

Flashback

Mamoru's heated lips trailed down her neck making Usagi cry out and arch her body into his. She captured his mouth again and hungrily kissed him, rubbing her touch along his. His hands crept up her shirt, leaving shivers in their wake. She shuddered and arch against him more as his hand cupped her breast, the lace of her bra grazing her nipples softly.

"Can I take off your shirt?"

Usagi stilled, biting her lip. "Okay."

"You don't have to..."

Usagi felt determination fill her. "It's okay. I want you to see me." She lifted up off the bed as he pulled the shirt up her torso, over her head, and off her arms. She heard his intake of breath and looked at his eyes. The horror inside them made her reach for her shirt again.

"No, don't cover them." His voice was sad as he brought his fingers to her cheek, her collarbone, her stomach, and her right breast. The scars were sensitive, causing her to hiss. "Do they hurt still?"

"More then memories of how I got them than the actual scars."

Mamoru lowered his head and placed a kiss on the scar on her cheek. He moved down her neck, the kisses becoming less gentle. His licked the scar on her collarbone and moved down to her breast. He suckled the skin, dragging back the lace to reveal her nipple, bringing it into his mouth. Usagi moaned, rising to meet his mouth. He started to kiss lower, nuzzling the scar on her stomach as he undid the zipper on her pants.

"What are you thinking?"

Usagi looked back at Mamoru and smirked, "Oh, nothing." She winked. "Well, nothing appropriate for the dinner table."

Mamoru laughed and his eyes sparkled. "Maybe you'll share with me later?"

"I'll think about it."

Their food came before he could retort, but Usagi felt the laughter hidden inside him. She fought to keep her own down and concentrated on the meal. She never imagined what being with Mamoru would be like, what a relationship with a man could be. That she would thank Kataki for, but nothing else.

"Usako, what are planning for after you graduate this year?" Mamoru asked the waiter took their plates.

Usagi shrugged. "I don't know. There isn't anything I really want to be or to study."

"And what about us?"

Fear sliced through her. "What do you mean?"

"What do you see for us after high school?" Mamoru's face was unreadable, his eyes and face calm.

"I don't know, Mamo-chan. I want to be with you wherever you are, always."

Mamoru smiled and suddenly he was on one knee beside her. Usagi's eyes widened as he took a small black box out of her pocket and opened it. Inside was the ring he had given her that day in the airport, but in the center was a diamond heart, surrounded by pearls. "Tsukino Usagi, will you marry me?"

Usagi brushed back the tears and smiled widely, disbelief, surprise, and absolute joy crushing her. "Yes, Mamo-chan. Of course I will." He slipped the ring on her finger to the claps of the other patrons in the restaurant. He took her into his arms, kissing her softly, before sitting back down. Usagi looked down at her hand, unable to stop grinning.

"Oh, it's beautiful and perfect, Mamo-chan. I love it. I love you," she gushed, taking his hand in hers.

"I'm glad, Usako. Let's get the check and go home."

Usagi nodded. Her heart was so full of joy, she thought it would explode as they walked hand in hand back to his apartment. Her parents hadn't protested to her spending nights there and she was glad. She hated being away from him, the nightmares always came when she slept alone.

Anticipation filled her stomach as the walked to his apartment and opened the front door. Usagi walked into the living room and stood waiting for him. She had prepared for this night. This was when they would make love. She was ready, she wanted to. They would be together forever. They would start a family and that was all she wanted. That was her plan for after high school, to be his wife.

Usagi smoothed out her black, floor length dress. It shimmered in the moon light and hugged her body, slits up the legs revealing her calves and a small portion of her thighs. Beneath was a secret, something she had bought with the girls and she felt beautiful.

Mamoru stood at the end of the hallway looking at her. "You look like the goddess of the moon."

She smiled, opening her arms to him. "Come here, Endymion, and find out if I am." Her heart jumped as his eyes filled with raw passion and he walked towards her.

His lips crashed onto hers and she wrapped her arms around his neck grabbing onto his hair. The hunger she felt inside him kindled a need of her own. She feverishly kissed him back, licking inside his mouth and pressing herself tightly to him. One of his hands thread into her hair, running his fingers through the long, loose, strands while the other pressed against the small of her back.

He let go of her mouth, running his lips down her neck, his breathing panting against her skin. He lifted her, walking towards the bedroom. He lay her on the bed gently, then lay on top of her, her dressing riding up her thighs.

"You're so beautiful, Usako, my Usako."

"Mamoru, please, I need you." Usagi moaned as on of his hands gripped her thigh, the fingers digging into her flesh. "Wait…"

His hands stilled and he looked up, his passion heavy eyes confused. "What is it?"

"I want to show you your present."

His eyebrows knit together as he let her up. She turned towards him and lowered the zipped of her dress. The material dropped to the floor and Mamoru sucked in his breath. She wore a sheer black bra with cream lace trim and a matching thong. Mamoru stood grabbed her to him, crushing her to him and his turned and practically threw her onto the bed. Usagi giggled as he covered her body with is, kissing her, grinding against her. She moaned, throwing her head back and closing her eyes she felt his kisses trail down her neck, his tongue lick her collarbone, then move down to her breasts. He kissed her through the material, hardening her nipples. He unlatched the front clasp and pushed the material away, bringing one of her breasts into his mouth. He fingers rolled the other nipple and Usagi panted, feeling her body heating up, shivering with need.

She felt his hand on her thigh, trailing down to her inner thigh and then inch up to the place she needed him the most. She cried out as his fingers grazed her and he groaned. "Oh, Usako, you're so wet."

"Please… please… please…" she panted, her fingers digging into the mattress.

Mamoru's fingers pulled the fabric back and she heard the laughter in his voice. "Is this what you want, Usako?"

His fingers dipped into her and she choked on her scream, her hips rising. "Yes!"

He thrust his fingers in and out of her as he kissed down her stomach. Usagi screamed loudly as his mouth replaced his fingers, licking and suckling her, making her body shiver and coil tightly with pleasure.

"Mamo-chan, stop."

He lifted his head and she smiled, sitting up. "Come here."

He crawled up the bed and Usagi pushed him onto his back, unbuttoning his shirt as she kissed him. She placed kisses down his neck to his chest, his breathing getting heavier as she got lower, licking his nipples. Her fingers undid his pants and her fingers hooked onto his boxers as she got to his navel. She ripped her pants down, exposing how hard he was. He moaned as she brought him into her mouth, licking and sucking him. She moaned, aroused by how good she was making him feel.

She crawled up his body and he watched her, his eyes hesitant. "Mamo-chan, I want to make love."

"Are you sure?" he asked softly, anxiety lacing his voice.

"I only want to be with you, Mamo-chan, forever. I want to make love to you. I need to." Usagi paused, biting her lip. "If you want me."

Mamoru flipped her onto her back, cradling her head in his hands. "Always, my love, always." He kissed her lips softly, his kiss building with intensity and she ground herself into him.

Usagi cried out and arched her back as he entered her, filling her, making her complete. The last piece of herself with in place and the last piece of Kataki was gone. She was Mamoru's and always would be.

She wrapped her legs tightly around his waist as she moved within her, thrusting in and out. "Harder," she gasped. She meant his thrusts, gripping his back and shoulders, digging her nails into him. He kissed her neck and face, moaning her name over and over again.

Usagi flipped him over, moving over him and around him, growling his name as he kissed her breasts and cupped her butt. Usagi could feel the white-hot coil inside her abdomen get tighter and tighter, ready to crash over her.

"Mamoru! Oh, Mamoru, I'm… I'm…"

He kissed her, turning her over and thrusting into her harder, making her scream as pleasure engulfed her. She gasped as shivers of it danced all over her and she gripped onto his waist harder as Mamoru came inside her, moaning into her hair.

He withdrew from her and lay on his back, curling her into his chest. "I love you, Usako. You're mine forever now."

Usagi kissed his cheek, feeling her eyes droop. "I know, Mamo-chan. That is all I've ever wanted."

I hope that was okay. I almost... ALMOST... did a sad ending. I was going to let her leave the building and never see him again, but I figured everyone would kill me. I hope this made sense and felt like a good ending. I think it was good. I tried not to go to corny, but after everything that happened, there needed to be some lovey dovey stuff if I wasn't going to leave it just sad.

So I hope you enjoyed it. I want to thank everyone for their reviews. They were wonderful. I'd like to especially thank Rachel P. for her touching review. It made my day. Thank you.

KuteKitsune21