Author's Notes and Disclaimer: This story occurs in the early part of Season Four and disregards Homecoming Upset. Brick Flagg has graduated and gone off to college so Bonnie Rockwaller is left boyfriend-less for her Senior year of high school. The Gods Of Animation conspire to make that problem go away... well, maybe. I just love playing God here, making the characters jump and dance with my every whim. This is rated M for a very good reason so if you're underage, DO NOT READ THIS STORY. I don't own the rights to the series Kim Possible. The Walt Disney Company owns those so I receive nothing for my toils here. This is just a hobby of mine so pay me with reviews.

Bon Bon and the Food Chain

Chapter1

It was autumn once again. It should have been a typically normal Middleton Colorado autumn for those concerned but it wasn't. The weather was truly summer-like leading to many of the students not wanting to be indoors, but school was back in session and the Class of 2007 was starting their final drudge filled days at Middleton High School. They faced a final nine months of homework and friendships and rivalries that would most likely fade away after June graduation and then finally disappear all together shortly thereafter.

Speaking of friendships; The red-haired girl and blond boy walking down the corridor seemed to make the perfect Senior couple with their life-long friendship that had blossomed into love the previous spring at a certain school dance. Their friendship and coupling seemed to be one of the few in school that would last a lifetime.

And speaking of rivalries; "Hey Possible, why are you and Stoppable still dating?" It was a perfectly valid question that Kim Possible had heard and fielded quite often in the mere weeks since school began. It was the teal-eyed brunette rival which had asked the question that irked Kim so. Bonnie Rockwaller stopped in the hallway and turned to face the couple who had completely ignored her and continued on their way to their lockers. "Kim, I'm talking to you and I'd really, really like an answer."

Kim stood stock still in the halls of Middleton High School facing away from the antagonist that had given her and her now boyfriend (and recently designated fiancé) Ron Stoppable, no end of grief over the last fourteen years. She tightly clutched the blond boy's hand in frustration over the interruption in their pleasant, covert groping stroll to their lockers. "Why the sudden interest Bonnie?" Kim queried warily trying to keep the tweak out of her voice. "Keep calm," Kim thought to herself. "No use throwing gasoline on a combustible sitch until Bonnie causes real trouble... And she will cause trouble. Then you can lose your temper and burn her to the ground,"

"Wellll," the brunette seemed to be stalling with her answer, not a sign of forthrightness. "I'm going to take Psychology next semester and one of our assignments is to do a profile on someone we know. I thought Stoppable would make an interesting subject and I want to get a jump on the assignment."

"Psychology class Bonnie?" Kim indignantly questioned and spun to face off with her rival in just about everything at school. Her demeanor suddenly softened in dreamy contemplation of her beau of only five month, eight days, twelve hour, thirty-five minutes and some even seconds. (Kim's calculation, not mine.) "If you'd really like to know why I'm still going steady with Ron... it's because he's my perfect partner for life. We're just so compatible it's seems like we were made for each other. He's kind, considerate to all my needs, loyal and generous to a fault," Kim looked Bonnie dead in the eye as they stood toe to toe, "and he always has my back. We're lifelong friends that will get married next summer after graduation and live happily ever after. Is that a satisfactory answer Bonnie?"

"But Ron dresses down all the time, eats like a pig and you have to admit he isn't much to look at."

"I'm right here Bonnie!" Ron yelled defensively. "KP!"

"I know Sweetie," Kim cooed and stroked his cheek to calm him down, "but she asked me and I'll handle the sitch if you'd only hold your horses for a minute. Okay?"

Ron immediately settled down and his goofy grin reappeared. "Anything you say KP."

Kim turned back to the teal-eyed irritation at hand. "Ron's attire might not be up to your Food Chain Standards Bonnie but to tell the truth he's color blind and can't coordinate his clothes to save his life. I found that out when we switched bodies a few years ago and that's why he dresses the same every day. It's less confusing for him and I don't mind. As to his manners, well," she chuckled lightly, "Ron is hungry all the time and craves food way too much so he tends to tear through his meals. I just love a man who's passionate about things and Ron's definitely passionate about food! And for his looks," Kim full out laughed. "I love the way he looks. I find Ron's freckles adorable and his big ears are great for hearing every word I say. Plus they're great handholds when we're in bed making..." Kim's face ran through nine shades of red in the second and a half it took for her to regain her composure as she coughed to clear her throat. "Anyway, he'll eventually grow into them, I hope, and if not..." Kim shrugged, stepped back and smiled smugly.

Bonnie spun away from the conversation, crossed her arms and muttered under her breath, "That's exactly why I'm gonna take a run at him." Her barracuda smile graced her face as she thought about the many lurid rumors of the couple that were circulating throughout the school.

"I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole!" Ron growled loudly and took a menacing step toward the teal-eyed brunette, only being restrained by Kim to prevent a fight in the halls.

Bonnie spun back around. "What makes you think I'd even consider it Stoppable?"

Ron calmly brushed Kim aside, took another step forward and got right in Bonnie's face. He quietly, calmly smirked at her as he stated, "Cause I heard what you said with my big ears and you don't deserve the ten foot pole I got in my pants."

"Ten... foot?" Bonnie stammered in shock, gulped hard and shied back a step. Her eyes darted down for a quick peek at the slight bulge in his baggy cargo pants as a small slaver of drool seeped from the corner of her mouth.

"Ten foot, ten inches," Ron chuckled lightly to her. "You know how bad I am at math."

Rufus popped out of his pocket abode and nodded, "Uh huh uh huh, ten inches." The naked mole rat blew a raspberry at the brunette.

Ron swiftly about-faced, linked arms with Kim and they strolled away down the hall. "Oh Yeah?" Bonnie yelled at the receding couple after she regained some of her Queenliness. "Like I'd believe you and your rat Stoppable!" She slurped and wiped the salacious drool that dribbled from the corner of her mouth and puddled on her chin.

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"Tara," Bonnie said hesitantly, not looking up from her homework as she and her platinum blond girlfriend sat on her bed, "why did you have a crush on Stoppable a few years ago? I mean why him... besides the fact he saved our hides at Wannaweep from that mutant freak Gill?"

"Why do you ask?" Tara Monroe, Bonnie's best friend in the world and most trusted confidant, queried not looking up from her assignment.

"Oh, no real reason," Bonnie nonchalanted. "It's only we're Seniors now and I don't have a boyfriend since Brick finally graduated and I'm trying to figure out what Possible sees in that goofball. You know, for Psych class next semester. I'll probably do my thesis on him."

Tara laid her pen down and sat up on the bed. "That goofball as you put it, is the kindest, most considerate boy in the whole school. Ron may not be much to look at physically but he's adorable anyway... and he'd crawl through a burning building to make sure you were safe. Ron's a real hero to go along with Kim on all their missions to save the World. God Bonnie, can't you see why anyone would love a guy who's so dedicated and devoted to someone that he'd risk his very life just to be there for them?" Tar picked up her pen and tried to write something, crossed it out and tried again.

A minute passed as more homework was worked on before Bonnie asked, "Are you still crushing on him?"

"Yes," Tara blushed as the pen fumbled from her fingers, "but he's Kim's boyfriend now so I don't have a chance with him and," the blond's voice went to just above a whisper, "you won't let me pursue him so I'll just have to find a Ron of my own; As if there is another one out there like him." Tara's blush deepened as she continued to look down at her books and her voice rose back to a normal conversational level. "Besides, I'd like to find out if any of the rumors are true."

"You don't mean..."

"Yes Bonnie!" Tara exploded and slammed the pen down. "I wanna find out if Ron is hung like a horse! Good Gracious God Almighty! Aren't you curious!?!"

It was Bonnie's turn to blush as she squeaked, "We got into it this morning in the hall. Ron all but told me he's ten inches."

"Really?" Tara marveled as her face brightened ten megawatts and she bounced closer on the bed for a gossip break. "I heard he was only seven or eight inches but that was a few years ago during the full-on crush and I've heard he and Kim go at it for over an hour each night now that they've turned eighteen."

"Rumors are best ignored," Bonnie huffed as she shuffled a few pages of the report she was working on and tapped them on end to tidy them up. "You know how things get exaggerated and distorted when they get passed on from one person to another; Like in the game of Telephone we used to play when we were kids."

"Well... maybe." Tara sighed and picked up her pen. She gazed at the cylindrical object as she lustily stroked its length between her delicate fingers. "But there are so many rumors and they all say the same thing. He's very well hung and knows exactly how to use it... They sneak off somewhere during school and do it during their lunch and free period... Even the one that says Kim got herself fixed so she can't get pregnant."

"Maybe," Bonnie conceded under her breath and went back to her homework. She waited until Tara was wrapped up in her assignment before she took the opportunity to covertly wipe the pooling moisture from the corner of her mouth again.

Three more minutes passed before Tara, not looking up from her work, quietly spoke again. "I know you know they're not offering the Psych class next semester. Mr. Glockenspiel, the teacher, is taking a sabbatical next Spring to tour cuckoo clock factories in Switzerland." The blue-eyed blond let out with a light titter as she continued to focus on her homework. "And you missed the unspooled drool coming out of the left side of your mouth."

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"Alright People Listen Up!" Vice Principle and sometime substitute teacher Steven Barkin said loudly even though the classroom was dead silent with all the students attentively sitting up in their seats. "Some of you don't think you belong here in Health Class again but the school's administration had a little snafu. It seems that while your transcripts were being transferred into the new computer system a few of your grades were, misplaced." Most of the class let out with a moan. "The ones taking this class over because of a failing grade are extremely lucky because they'll be be doing so with a clean slate." Three people let out with a cheer. Of those, there was a very distinctive BooYah.

Mr. Barkin ignored the outburst and pressed on. "I know it's not fair to those that had a good grade the first time but that's life people! So to make things fair for everyone the only assignment for this class is an oral and written report on a single aspect of the Human Body." Groans arose from all the students. "And since I don't want this to drag out all semester and sit here listening to you butcher Latin names and body parts, you'll be paired up." The students all started to make suggestions as to who they'd like to work with. Barkin waved them down. "Quiet down people, I'm trying to be fair about this. I'll use the class roster and go straight down the list. Anderson and Andrews, you're together. Culver and Dawson. Flanders and Flynn. Henson and Johnson. Mankey and Marx. Possible and..." He looked up at the class and pointed to Kim. "Possible, you're excused from this assignment since we have an odd number of students in this class and I remember you had perfect marks in the last one. Besides, I know you won't get along with the next person on the roster. You only need to be here for attendance then you can work on your other homework... as will the rest of you when this assignment is finished. When the reports are complete you can all consider this a free study period."

"Who's next on the list Mr. B?" Ron Stoppable asked.

"Bonnie Rockwaller," the teacher slyly stated as he leaned over the blond boy. An evil smirk arose as Mr. Barkin growled, "And that question just earned you five extra laps before football practice. Anyway, I can't skip around the list so Stoppable, you're paired up with Rockwaller." Mr. B glanced around the room. "Oh yes Taylor, you and Zimmerman are paired up. Now people, since I don't want to sit through the same old passé Hawkeye Pierce speech on the hand from the TV show MASH, you'll be choosing your topic from the ones in this hat." He held out his sweat stained tan baseball cap and shuffled it around. "Come on people we don't have all day! Half of you come up and pick out your topic!"

Bonnie turned in her seat to face Ron who was sitting directly behind her. "I suppose you'd like our report to be on something simple like the taste buds. That way you could bring food into class for a demonstration."

"That would be spankin," Ron smiled and leaned back in his seat, fully stretching out, "but I'll be a gentleman and let you go up and pick out our topic, if only so you can't blame me for what we get."

Bonnie stood in line while the others picked their topic out of the hat and showed it to Mr. Barkin. Unfortunately, or fortunately if you're so inclined and can block out the raucous laughter from the Animation Gods at the events they were creating, Bonnie was the last to draw and there was only one slip of paper left in the hat. "Human Reproduction!?" Bonnie screamed as she stared at the paper.

"Ah, an interesting topic," Barkin sighed in revelry. "I expect a lot from you and Stoppable in your, oral, presentation." The teacher turned to the class. "I expect an oral report backed up by a well written, well documented paper on Monday people." There was an overall groan from the class. "Since it's Friday, you'll have two days to work on the project and I'll give you the rest of the period to start." Mr. Barkin got up and left the room.

Bonnie turned on Kim who was sitting across the aisle from Ron. "This is all your fault Possible!"

"My fault?" Kim begged in disbelief.

"Yes Little Miss Perfect!" Bonnie harshed. "I was only two points short of perfect marks in Health class last time!"

"Well two points are two points Bonnie," Kim laughed. "I'm going to start on my Latin homework. I suggest you Carpe Diem and huddle up with Ron."

"Well?" Bonnie turned on Ron sitting directly behind her, "are you going to be a gentleman and pull your desk up next to mine so I don't get a neck sprain or back spasms or something?"

Ron stood up with a huge smile on his face. "I'm coming Bonnie dearest." He picked up his desk and swung it around to face Bonnie's.

"Do you know anything about the topic Stoppable? I take it you were born with reproductive organs," Bonnie snarked as Ron sat down in his desk in front of her, "though I thought I heard you lost your balls on one of your damned missions a long time ago." The brunette sighed as she calmed down just an iota. "I also know you were out on your stupid missions and missed quite a few of the other Health Classes."

"I know enough to get by Bon Bon," Ron chortled.

"Don't call me Bon Bon!" the brunette growled between gritted, pearly white teeth.

"Sorry Bonnie," Ron apologized sheepishly as he cowered a bit in his chair before he sat up straight and became serious. "Look, can we call a truce to hostilities and get this done? I know you take your grades seriously so I'm willing to buckle down and do some work for you. I need this class to graduate too you know."

"Do you honestly mean that Stoppable?" the Queen Of Middleton High begged warily.

"Note serious face," Ron stated, pointing at his firm set countenance, "but only if you stop calling me Stoppable. My name is Ron! R O N, Ron!" He calmed down after taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. "Look. You take your grades serious-like and I'm all about helping people. It's what me and KP do. Can you understand that?"

"Yes, I guess that'll work," Bonnie conceded. "I want a good grade in this class to keep up my GPA and I guess any assistance you can give me will help Stop... Ron."

"Good, we got that settled." The end of class bell rang. "Unfortunately we ran out of class time to work on our project soooo, what do you want me to do for it?"

"We can plan out our report before cheer practice. Meet me in the gym."

"Nope," Ron shook his head as they made their way to the door, "no can do. We might not have a football game this week but we have practice and I'll have to be out on the field right after classes end if I want to get in my five extra laps. Besides, I'm a doer not a planner. You decide how the report will go and I'll get 'er done."

"Okay," Bonnie huffed and quickly formed a plan. "I hate to say this but... meet me at my house as soon as you're finished with practice."

"It's a date," Ron cheerfully chimed as he peeled away and speed walked to catch up with Kim who was waiting for him down the hall.

A small grin broke out on the brunette's face as she looked to the Heavens and mouthed a silent thank you.