Anthology of Love

By: CrystallicSky

Disclaimer: I don't own Xiaolin Showdown, or any of the characters in it, so...don't say I didn't tell you that they weren't.

Warning(s):Ok, cursing, malexmale relationship, strong references to sex, but no actual sex scenes, and...probably general stupidity, corniness, or idiocy aside from that.

Notes: Well, lately I've been seeing a good deal of those one-word prompts for short/one-sentence stories, and so I figured I'd give it a try. I did a few, and found something out about myself: I really like them! XD So this would be the result.

...

741. Quiet-

Chase looked up as Jack stopped right before him, holding out a small slip of paper. He took it and began to examine the thing. "What is this?" he demanded to know.

"I was reading online about this book of romantic coupons," Jack said matter-of-factly. "I wanted to try it."

Chase narrowed his eyes at the text printed on the paper he'd been given. "A 'Shut the Fuck Up' coupon?"

"I think we need it," Jack explained, "but in order to avoid abuse of the coupon, I'm going to lay down some ground rules."

"Oh, really?"

Jack nodded. "This coupon may only be used once every ten years," he said. "There is no such thing as rollover minutes on this: if I don't use it in ten years, I lose it. However, when I do use it, you are obligated to be quiet and stop correcting, making fun of, or otherwise being a jerk to me. As compensation for having to abide by these rules, you are allowed one such coupon, as well. The same rules apply, so use it wisely."

Chase raised an eyebrow, both at the idea of the coupon itself and the formal tone with which his consort was speaking. "I propose that this coupon system is inherently inequitable," he said eventually, mimicking the formality.

"How so?" wondered Jack.

"Your need for this coupon is far less than mine," Chase pointed out. "In order to balance it out, I should be allotted a greater amount of coupons than you."

Jack was silent for a long moment. Then, an identical slip of paper was removed from his jacket and handed over to his master. "I'm cashing mine in now," he said. "Shut the fuck up."

Chase took it and tore it in half, ensuring it could not be used again. Nonetheless, he smirked with tightly closed lips and said not a word as Jack went storming out of the room in a huff.

Thankfully, he was able to resist the urge to laugh until Jack was well out of earshot.

742. Acoustic-

"What are you doing, now?"

"Stuff," Jack replied. "Go 'way."

"What kind of stuff, Spicer?" Chase insisted.

Jack groaned. "Cool stuff, Chase," he said, sounding very much like an affronted teenager—which he technically was, but after 236 years of life, one lost the right to behave as such. "GTFO, already."

Chase raised an eyebrow. "You're frustrated," he observed.

"No shit, Sherlock!" Jack exclaimed, tossing the guitar in his hands to the floor. "What was your first clue?"

"Well, for one, you never speak to me like that unless you're irritated enough to forget your self-preservation instincts," Chase said. "That, and you just broke a guitar on the floor."

Jack huffed. "It's a jerk," he declared. "I hate it."

"Spicer, it's inanimate. It's incapable of being a 'jerk.'"

"Well, it is anyway."

Chase sighed. "What are you having trouble with?"

Jack pouted. "Don't worry about it," he said. "I'll figure it out eventually. It might take a couple guitars and a lot of curse words, but mark my words: I will learn to play that fucker." Red eyes glanced down to the guitar at his feet, the neck cracked and a few strings snapped from the forced meeting with the marble floor. "Well," Jack amended, "a fucker like it, in any case."

Chase coolly observed the electric instrument that was surely a result of Jack's first attempt to stave off the boredom of immortality. "Perhaps you should start with an acoustic guitar," he suggested. "Work your way up."

"A grandpa-guitar?" Jack seemed offended by the very notion. "No way in hell! Grandpa-guitars are for pussies! So not metal."

Despite the indignant reply, Chase smirked. "Good luck with the electric, then," he offered his consort, turning on his heel to leave. "If you ever want to learn how to play the oboe without learning the basics of the flute, come find me. I'm an expert."

And with that, the warlord was gone, leaving Jack to ponder exactly what his master had meant by that.

743. Pillow-

"Remind me again why we've returned to this hovel of yours, Spicer."

Jack resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the comment. Only a man who lived in a palace carved into a mountain would refer to such a lavish mansion as a 'hovel.' "I need to pick up some stuff," he said, entirely uninsulted. "You want me to live with you, right?"

"Where else could I train you, protect you, and fuck the living daylights out of you so conveniently?" Chase demanded to know.

"Well, then I need some stuff," Jack declared. "Your place is nice and all, but it lacks certain…amenities."

Chase quirked an eyebrow. "Like what?" His abode could easily service any need imaginable, and the implication otherwise was irritating. He would have to work on Spicer's manners first and foremost now that the young man was his to do with as he wished.

"Homey touches," Jack elaborated, "personal effects. If I'm gonna live with you, I want to have some of my stuff with me so it doesn't feel like I'm staying at a hotel. You want me to be comfortable with you, right?"

"I am your overlord," Chase said as if it explained everything, and in a way, it did.

"Then, let me grab a few things and we can go, alright?"

Chase considered it for a moment. "Make it quick," he said imperiously, and Jack bent down ever so slightly to kiss him on the cheek.

"Thanks, Chase," he said, and disappeared into his bedroom.

The warlord remained in the hallway for several minutes, observing the plush carpet and some of the more interesting paintings hung along the walls, but it was hardly enough to occupy him for even that much. Bored, he entered what he was already thinking of as his consort's old room and looked around.

Predatory golden eyes scanned the living space, finding it to be exactly what one would expect for the room of a goth teenager. Black and red everywhere, of course, but a bit classier than predicted due to the splash of white here and there to counteract the other colors. That, and the quality of the furniture seemed to suggest high-end living: a desk made of the finest wood, a bed with the finest silks and down pillows, a flat-screen television mounted on the wall; no doubt the finest model on the market.

Chase could almost mistake this for a refined billionaire's room were it not for the mess.

Jack was still a teenager. Nineteen, only barely still a teen, but a teen nonetheless, and his living space reflected that. Clothes, books, movies, and completely random objects were scattered about every available space, piled atop one another where there was no space. Chase would be hard-pressed to navigate the area without stepping on something.

"I had thought to work on your manners, first," he said to Jack, who he could hear rustling about in the adjacent bathroom. "A look around, however, tells me cleanliness will be first on the agenda."

"Oh, don't get your panties in a knot," Jack groused, making noises that suggested his was packing away some towels. "You and I both know I don't really live in here. This is just storage: my real room is downstairs, and you've seen how tidy I am down there."

And this, Chase conceded, was true. Jack was very meticulous about the neatness of his laboratory, mainly for safety reasons, but likely also because it bothered him to work around a mess.

"Alright," he amended, "then I'll have to teach you to keep that tidiness up in both of your living spaces."

"Both?" Jack echoed from the bathroom, and Chase could hear the opening of a cabinet. He imagined his consort would be retrieving sunscreen and toothpaste and other such things. "I'm gonna have two rooms at your place?"

Chase took a step forward into the room, gracefully avoiding a book haphazardly dropped while open but ending up standing on discarded t-shirt. "The same as you do here," he replied, sneering ever so slightly at the clutter blocking his way. "A lab to work in and a bedroom to sleep in."

"Among other things," Jack added for him.

"Yes, among other things," Chase openly agreed. "Honestly, Spicer, when was the last time you cleaned in here?"

"Never," said Jack. "When it gets too crazy for me to ignore, I make a bot clean it. More efficient than me tripping over shit and cursing loudly for upwards of four hours, y'know?"

Chase managed another step through the miscellany of things, though he had to toe a bottle of pink nail polish out of the way (its presence alone was a bit troubling). "You shouldn't allow it to get 'crazy' in the first place," he declared. "Really, how are you ever going to—…Spicer."

"What?" Jack called, still in the bathroom.

"Would you care to come out here and tell me what that is?"

The tight, controlled hiss of his master's voice was enough to tell Jack that he had best obey immediately. Exiting the bathroom, his bag of personal effects slung over his shoulder, he spoke. "What's what? What are you—oh, you found the Chase-pillow."

Beneath the bed, where the warlord's eyes seemed to be glaring burning holes, there lay a full-body pillow emblazoned with his likeness.

"Explain yourself," Chase demanded in what could almost be called a growl.

Jack, far less embarrassed about the item than he should be, only shrugged. "You've seen those kinds of pillows before. They're popular in Japan, where they put pictures of scantily-clad anime girls on 'em. I think somebody even married their pillow, once. Basically, I saw those and figured, 'why not'?"

"That is the most vile thing I have ever seen in my life," Chase said, affronted. "You will dispose of it immediately, or I shall do it for you."

Jack frowned. "Oh, come on, it's not that bad."

"It's disgusting," Chase snapped, "not to mention unsanitary. I'd be willing to bet it's covered in enough genetic material to ensure you'd be a father in nine months' time should anything female come near it."

Here, Jack scowled. "Oh, so, what, you just assume I was fucking it?" he demanded. "I couldn't have just been cuddling it or something, I was being nasty with it. That's allI could've been doing with it. Is that what you're saying?"

Chase gave his new consort a very pointed stare.

"…alright, but jeez!Give me the benefit of the doubt, at least!"

Chase watched, only vaguely pleased as Jack snapped his fingers and a robot zoomed into the room, then ordered to take the offending pillow and burn it.

"Happy?" Jack asked, already beginning to collect things from his room again.

"Somewhat," Chase said, folding his arms over his chest. "I still don't understand why you had it in the first place."

"Really? You don't?" Jack put down his bag of belongings and made his way over to Chase. "You don't get that I've been crushing on you since I hit puberty? You don't get that I've been in love with you since a year after that? You don't get that I was a virgin until two weeks ago? You don't get that I was so damn crazy about you, I needed a stand-in to keep from dry-humping your leg in the middle of a Showdown? That's what you don't get?"

Chase frowned, considering this. Jack's logic certainly made sense, and it didn't hurt that everything he was saying stroked the dragonlord's ego like nobody's business. "Never again," he said eventually. "If I catch you trying to replace me with a 'stand-in' even once, you will be punished."

Jack only snorted. "Why would I ever need a stand-in again?" he asked, bending down to kiss Chase. "I've got the real deal, now. I'm not settling for less, ever."

Chase grinned, pleased. "See to it that you don't."

744. Call-

Jack had the distinct impression that he would rather blow his brains out than remain here a moment longer.

'Here' just happened to be the abode of his aunt and uncle. His delightful cousin, Megan was having her 'sweet sixteen' and for whatever reason, it had been insisted that he show up and have a good time.

Showing up, he had most certainly done. Having even the semblance of a good time was decidedly less accomplished.

But really, how in the hell was he expected to enjoy himself? Pink and cutesy girl things everywhere, surrounded by a bevy of teenagers as the only male andthe only adult around?

Guh.

"Jaaaaaaaack," one of said teenagers cooed at him, Danielle, he thought he remembered, "c'mon over here! We're playing Spin the Bottle…"

And there, the source of his ultimate dismay at the setting: surrounded by adolescent girls who thought of him as a 'cute older guy' and 'sooooooo hawt'!

"No, thanks," Jack said, forcing back the worst of a sneer.

"Awwww, but why not…?" whined another girl. This one looked like an Amy, but Jack was pretty sure her name was Samantha. "Don't be such a stick in the mud! You don't want to ruin Megan's party, do you?"

Megan, as well as Jack, rolled her eyes. It was clear the gesture had some root in genetics.

"I don't think she cares much," Jack assured. "Y'know what would really ruin her party? Having to make out with her cousin. I'll sit this one out, ladies."

At that, the girls tittered amongst themselves (Megan not included). Jack could hear a few whispered snippets from where he was. Most prominently, 'so funny,' 'he's shy,' and 'what a cutie.'

Guh.

If Jack had ever needed to be rescued like a damsel in distress, now was most definitely the time.

As if on cue, his pocket began to ring.

Feeling the eyes of the girls on him, he sent them a glance. "I have to take this," he said, already answering his phone. "Hello?"

"Hello, my delicious little sex-slave."

Jack, naturally, recognized the voice on the other end of the line. Keeping his audience in mind, his face and tone remained neutral. "Hey, Chase," he said. "What's up?"

"Nothing much," the warlord on the other end of the line returned casually. "I am fantastically horny, though."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Mmm. Imagine your poor master's dismay at being so in the mood to fuck and not a single consort in sight!"

"You have more than one?" Jack demanded.

"Only one," Chase promised. "It's terribly inconvenient, though. What am I meant to do when that one isn't around?"

"Wait?" Jack suggested.

There was laughter. "I'm your lord, Spicer," Chase reminded. "I do not wait on you. You wait on me."

"Well, I'm a little busy right now. I think you'll have to."

"You think so?" There was something wicked in Chase's tone. "I say otherwise."

Jack sighed. "Look," he said, "I'm at Megan's party. I told you about it. I don't have time to—"

"I'm going to fuck you silly, Jack."

Instinctively, red eyes flickered over to the gaggle of girls watching him with thinly veiled interest, as if they could have heard what Chase had just said. They couldn't, of course.

"Oh, are you, now?"

"Of course I am," said Chase. "I'm going to take you like the dirty slut you are and you're going to beg for it."

Jack suppressed a shiver. "And what makes you think I'll go along with that?"

"What makes you think any different?" the warlord challenged. "You can't resist me. Not even you can delude yourself into believing if I asked you, right now, to drop to your knees and suck me off regardless of who was looking that you wouldn't do it."

This time the shiver did come. Already, he knew it to be a futile effort to ask Chase to leave him alone and considering what he was interrupting…well, he only had one thing to say in response.

"So, start talking."

The devilish smirk on the other end of the phone was practically palpable.

"I'm going to strip you fully in a minute flat," Chase declared. "Your clothing will be shredded, of course, but I could care less."

"You'll have to reimburse me, then," said Jack.

Chase snorted. "I'll do no such thing. Why would I buy you more clothes? You're only going to wear them."

"You've got a point," Jack conceded. "Then what?"

"I'm going to collar you," Chase practically purred. "I'm going to leash you to the headboard and put you on hands and knees like a dog."

"Dogs are pretty noisy," the goth pointed out.

"Just as you will be," Chase concurred. "As soon as I touch you, I'll have you howling my name. I'll make you shriek such filthy obscenities that even the most weathered of sailors would blush like Catholic schoolgirls. By the time I'm done with you, you'll be mute from all the screaming—that is, if you don't simply pass out before I had my fill of you."

Jack couldn't help his smirk. "You think it'll take that much of a toll on me?"

Chase chuckled, low and smoky across the phone line. "Spicer," he said, "you'll be lucky if you don't slip into a coma once I'm satisfied. I can't guarantee you'll ever walk again, either."

Jack laughed. "Granny's wheelchair is still around somewhere, isn't it? I can use that. Not like she needs it anymore."

"Then, I won't hold back even a little."

"Not at all?"

"Why on earth would I want to?" Chase demanded. "You like it rough, Jack. I know you do."

"Maybe," Jack allowed, "but that still doesn't tell me what you want."

"What I want…? That should be obvious."

"Spell it out for me, Chase."

"If you insist," the warlord acquiesced. "I want to touch every last inch of you. I want to brand myself all over your deathly white skin. I want to ruin you for other partners."

"You've already done that," reminded Jack. "Let's get to the point, here."

"If you must know, I want to dominate you completely. I'm going to hold you down and take you, whether you want it or not."

"Oh, I will."

"I know you will," Chase practically groaned. "Why do you think it turns me on so much? You'll always be willing for me, Jack: you will never say no."

"You're right. I can't say no to you." The way Jack said it was playful, friendly instead of lusty. After all, he still had an audience.

"That's why I'm going to fuck you mercilessly," said Chase. "Considering my current…passion, I'd call it a miracle if we only went through six bedspreads…and three beds."

"You really don't take care of your things, do you?" teased Jack.

"Perhaps not, but I take excellent care of my toys. I may see several pieces of furniture destroyed with my ferocity, but I would never injure you, my Spicer. If I broke you, how could I ever play with you again…?"

Jack grinned. "That sounds about right, but for some reason, I can't see you as the gentle type right now."

"Far from gentle," Chase agreed. "You may very well loathe me before I finish with you. I fully intend to make you absolutely mad with need. I'm so eager to have you wild for me that I just might bring you to the very brink and leave you there for hours until you've been reduced to blind desire and the only words on your lips are my name and 'please.'"

A quick, almost furtive glance at the teenage girls. Staying here any longer…with the way Chase was talking…it could get risky.

"Sounds like fun," he said, trying desperately and just barely succeeding in keeping the hunger out of his voice. "When can we make it happen?"

Chase scoffed. "I've already gotten started," he said on what sounded like a moan. "Where are you?"

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

"Do make it ten, Jack," the overlord suggested. "If I get any harder, I might very well injure myself."

There was an audible click as Jack's phone snapped shut and was shoved back into his pocket.

"Sorry, girls," he said apologetically, "I've gotta split. Something just came up."

Even as the majority of the girls groaned in disappointment, watching the young man leave, Megan rolled her eyes again.

"I'll just bet something 'came up,'" she said under her breath, quiet enough that none of her friends heard her.

It was bad enough they all somehow thought he was attractive. She really didn't want to find out how much worse it would be if they found out he'd just had phone-sex with his boyfriend right in front of them.

Guys were absolutely disgusting.

745. Donkey Punch-

"Chase…?"

"Hm?"

"You're not…kinky, are you?"

Chase blinked. "Quite kinky," he said. "Why do you ask?"

Jack looked almost nervous. "Well…how kinky are we talking?"

"On what scale should I answer you?"

"From one to 'What is this I don't even.'"

The warlord honestly considered it. "I would rate my kinkiness roughly around, 'What are you doing, I don't think—mmmm, oh god, yes, do that.'" He stared at his consort. "Again, Spicer, why do you ask?"

Jack tried to nonchalantly shrug. After a few seconds of silence, he said, "Well…you know I'm just about up for anything with you. But, uh…recently, I've been forced into the realization that…my limits do exist, and—"

"Is this about that video with the lesbians and the cup?" Chase demanded. "I forbade you from ever watching that again in my palace, Jack, and if you disobeyed me—"

"No, no, no," Jack assured, shaking his head. "That's a whole 'nother can of worms I don't want to get into. Not what I'm talking about but it's…kind of internet-related."

"Then what?" Chase asked. "The internet is a cesspool of sex and filth. Asking me to guess would get us nowhere."

Jack sighed. "You don't like to…get rough, do you?"

The warlord tilted his head to one side. "Of course I do," he replied. "You've been on the receiving end of my roughness quite a few times, Spicer."

Jack shook his head. "Not like that," he denied. "Not, like, biting and scratching and the stuff you usually do. I meant more like…hitting."

Chase stiffened. "Hitting?"

"Yeah," Jack elaborated. "Like…you don't get a kick out of smacking people around in bed…right?"

"Spousal abuse, you mean?" Chase sneered, disgusted by the idea and not bothering to hide it. "No, I most certainly do not enjoy that. The purpose of sex is pleasure, not pain."

"But…you hurt me sometimes when we're…y'know?"

"Because slight pain can enhance pleasure," Chase pointed out. "I may occasionally grip you a bit too firmly, suck on your neck a little too hard, or use a tad more force than I need to, but I've never hit you. I will never hit you. That is assault, Spicer, not 'getting rough.'"

Jack seemed to relax at his master's declaration. "That's a relief," he said. "'cause I've seen some videos… Have you ever heard of a 'donkey punch'?"

Chase frowned. "Yes."

"Well, that was what I saw. My only thought was that I would never want anybody to do that to me ever."

"Why do you keep looking up porn on the internet?" Chase demanded. "It's disgusting and it clearly disturbs you."

Jack half-blushed and looked away. "Some of it's hot," he muttered.

Chase couldn't resist bringing a hand up to massage the bridge of his nose or the long-suffering sigh that escaped his lips.

746. Resting-

Jack flopped backwards onto the massive, fluffy pillow, a satisfied sigh coming out of him in a whoosh. "Good god,you're awesome."

Beside him, Chase grinned through a particularly nice afterglow. "You weren't too shabby yourself, Jack."

"I'll have you know," the goth said imperiously, "that of the many things I'm amazing at, sex is one of them. I practice constantly."

"I hope for your sake that you haven't had many teachers," Chase warned.

Jack scoffed. "Why would I need a bunch of teachers? My mentor is the best there is."

Pleased, Chase smirked. "Caught your breath yet, Spicer?" he inquired.

Consideringly, Jack nodded. "Just about, I'd say. Why?"

Chase pounced. "It's time for another 'lesson'…"

747. Size-

"Are you ready, Spicer?"

"Oh, god,yeah, I am. Let's do this, already, before I wake up and realize this was just a dream."

"This is no dream, Jack, I assure you."

"Then, prove i—…damn."

"Awestruck?"

"You could say that. I have never seen one like that before."

"I don't doubt that. Not too many men these days are uncircumcised, but I assure you it works the same."

"I'm sure it does. That doesn't bother me. I was more looking at the size of it."

"You aren't scared of it, are you?"

"If it were another inch, I might be. How in the hell are you…?"

"Handsome, powerful, well-endowed…I've always been cursed so; since birth, really."

"Blessed, more like. By the God of Gigantic Penises."

"I'd hardly call it gigantic."

"Well, follow my logic for a second here: you were born fifteen-hundred years ago. People were a lot smaller back then, in more ways than one."

"Your point, Spicer?"

"Back in your day, a guy was huge if he was six inches down there and people too much over five feet were giants."

"Ask what you really want to ask me, Jack."

"Be straight with me: were you gawked at as a freakshow or worshiped like a god?"

There was a laugh.

"A little bit of both, if you must know. Now, considering the situation, I'd say the last thing for me to be with you is 'straight.' Are we done discussing my genital situation?"

"Yeah, I think so. I'm still not sure that's gonna fit anywhere, but we can give it a try."

"Spicer, I can promise you that it can and will fit several somewheres, and we're going to attempt them all tonight."

A soft meep. "Be gentle…"

"We'll see."

748. Cheat-

Chase snarled like a hellbeast and flung the controller away from him. It hit the wall not entirely hard enough to break it, but close. "I refuse to play this," he proclaimed loudly. "This game cheats!"

Jack snorted from beside him. The TV screen in front of the both of them was still flashing with the words, 'PLAYER 2 WINS.' "Suuuuuuuuuuuuuure it does," he said in a tone several degrees away from placating and closer to condescending.

Naturally, this did not much please his overlord, who petulantly folded his arms across his chest with a growl.

Chase Young was in full-on pout-mode.

Realizing this, Jack leaned over and kissed his cheek as sweetly as he could manage.

Chase accepted the kiss with no more than a grunt, but it was obvious enough that he was no longer quite so irritated.

Taking this as his cue, the goth took his sweetness even further and snuggled up against Chase so that they were comfortably pressed together.

Chase was quiet for a moment. Then, "...Very well," he said imperiously. "I have decided that, regardless of your cheating game, I shall not destroy you at this time."

Jack grinned. "Good," he said, "I can't give you a victory blowjob after the next game if I'm destroyed."

And again, Chase stiffened. "…I have mixed feelings about that statement," he admitted.

Jack raised an eyebrow. "What for? Whether I win or lose, it's you who'll be getting the blowjob. What's to be upset about?"

"What else? The implication that you'll win."

Jack laughed. "Yeah, well, we don't have to play again if you wanna chicken out."

Chase balked immediately. "Chicken?" he demanded. "Excuse me?"

Jack was abruptly struck by the beauty of his master in fury. "Y'know," he said sincerely, "you are ridiculously pretty. You're even more ridiculously pretty when you're mad. Your eyes glow, they narrow, and that mouth of yours... Talk about sex personified."

Immediately, Chase's frown deepened. "You're trying to distract me. It won't work."

His consort only shrugged. "Nah, I'm just telling it like it is. It's a good thing you're so pretty, 'cause otherwise, the chickening out might be a turn-off for me."

And there was Chase's ire again as he snarled hideously. "I will destroy you, Spicer!"

Jack offered a challenging smirk as Chase retrieved his controller. "I'll believe it when I see it," he said. "In the meantime, prepare to eat Izuna Drop!"

749. Dancing Bear-

"…and he's promised us quite a show: a thousand dancing bears."

Jack's eyes were wide. "Dude," he said. "That is way too many dancing bears."

Chase merely shrugged. "It should be mildly entertaining."

Jack did not seem convinced. "Ehhh…"

The warlord raised an eyebrow. "You aren't scared of them, are you?"

Jack made a face. "A little."

Chase rolled his eyes.

"Well, come on, they're bears!" Jack exclaimed. "And they've been pissed off by being made to dance! I mean, maybe if they were on unicycles…"

"…what?"

"Unicycles are scientifically proven to reduce the intimidation factor of anything by 80%. It's nearly impossible to take things seriously when they're on a unicycle."

Chase stared. "Scientifically proven, you said. Scientifically proven by whom?"

"Me," said Jack. "I conducted extensive experiments involving hours of putting stuff on unic—what's wrong?"

Chase said nothing and shook his head, hiding his face in the palm of his hand.

750. Novel-

"Chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase…!"

Chase flinched almost imperceptibly as he was quite soundly caught by his consort. His 'Spicer Antics' sense had been going off all morning and he'd really been hoping to get somewhere private before Jack found him.

But damn it all, he'd just been caught.

"Yes, Jack?" he asked in a very neutral tone.

A manuscript was shoved into his hands. "Read my novel," Jack sternly insisted.

Chase was momentarily relieved. A novel didn't seem too ridiculous or annoying…until he saw the title.

"'Clicky Kisses?'" he read aloud. "You wrote a novel?"

Proudly, Jack grinned. "I was inspired by Stephenie Meyer," he declared.

He was met with a blank stare.

Jack decided to elaborate. "After seeing that steaming pile of bedazzled crap that Meyer chick wrote, I decided it was up to me to show the public what real vampire romance is all about."

Chase was beginning to experience that familiar feeling of dread that meant he really shouldn't ask. He asked anyway. "Oh, really?"

Jack's smile brightened and he pointed to two emoticons emblazoned upon the cover page, just under the title. "This is Loppy," he said, pointing to the little face made up of an equal sign and a capital 'f.' "He's a vampire and one of his fangs is longer than the other."

Chase was not sure what the correct response to that was, and so said nothing.

"And this one," he pointed to the other face, also made of a equal sign but this time with a capital 'e,' "is Tri. He has three fangs instead of two."

"Does he, now?"

"Yeah!" Jack exclaimed, clearly excited. "Aren't they cute?"

Chase hesitated. "…I don't know that I'd say that."

Jack frowned. "Well, what's wrong with them?"

The dragonlord observed the tiny emoticon faces carefully before answering. "It seems to me that this is a story of two dork-vampires exiled from the rest of vampire society for being dorks."

"And finding love in a fellow outcast!" Jack insisted. "It's, like, the perfect dork-love story!"

And Chase decided that he really couldn't (and shouldn't) argue with that. "Sure," he said, "let's go with that."

...

A/N: WELCOME TO THE SEXY CHAPTER OF SEX. ENOJY THE SEXYTIEMS NAO.

Quiet-Possibly my favorite of this chapter. XD

Acoustic-Is that a Metalocalypse reference? Yes, it is!

Pillow-AND SO BEGINS TEH SEX. XD

Call-While planning this sexy chapter of Anthology, I realized I'd never really written any Chacky phone-sex. PROBLEM SOLVED. :D

Donkey Punch- Errr...no comment.

Resting-Considering this is the transition-prompt between the first half and the second half of the chapter, I figured a breather was in order. ;P

Size-Yes, I totally just went there.

Cheat- Sexytiems are done with! From this point on, it's just plain silliness. XD

Dancing Bear-Thank you, Silvarbelle, for an excellent prompt! :D

Novel-This one requires a teensy bit of explanation. When I chat online with my friends, I make a smiley face like so: = D Some of you may be noticing, looking down at your keyboard, that the F is very close to the D. Well, yes, that's exactly what happened- a single typo created Loppy, or by his full name, the Lopsided Vampire. His beau came about later when one of my friends made a similar typo, but with an E instead of an F. Their beautiful love was born.

=F & =E

Anyways, that's Chapter 75! Thanks for reading and I hope you all liked it! :D