This starts right after Edward gets Rosalie's phone call and is on the plane to Italy.

I couldn't believe she was gone. She jumped off a cliff. Because she thought I didn't love her. Because she had believed me in the forest. Because I had thought she would be better off without me and she didn't really love me. My family had tried to convince me that she really did love me and that we were meant to be together forever. I guess they were right and you were wrong, I thought to myself bitterly. The one time I had been wrong was when there was the most important thing at stake! The worse part of her-I shuddered-death was she had died thinking I didn't want her. Even worse the reason she had died was because I had lied to her in the forest that night. I had lied with the best of intentions and had the worst results.

I thought back to that night in the forest with despair. I remembered the torn look on her face when she had asked, "You don't want me?" I had simply said no while inside my heart was breaking we had started fighting and she had said how we had been through worse and why couldn't we get through it this time, what was so different? I had told her it was different this time, I had realized I couldn't stay with her and we would be better off apart. I had been so damn close to breaking there and I wished I had. I knew my true emotions had shown for a heartbeat before I had hidden behind a mask. I hadn't told her a single truth that entire conversation.

I just couldn't believe she was really gone. My angel, my love, my only reason for life or non-life or whatever I was living. But not for long, I couldn't deal with this kind of pain so I would go to the Volturi and ask them to kill me. If they wouldn't I would force their hand, either way I wasn't leaving there alive. I knew that this would tear apart my family apart but I didn't really care anymore. As I had told Bella before I was essentially a selfish creature. I winced at the thought of her name. Figures that the one time I wasn't thinking of myself I had hurt the only one I ever cared about.

I was thinking too much so I put on some headphones on put on the radio.

The final word in the final sentence you ever uttered to me was love

I angrily changed the station.

Let me know that I've done wrong
When I've known this all along

I changed it again.

Now my life is changing, its always re-arranging it's always getting stranger then I thought it ever could

I gave up and let the song play even though it reminded me too much of how Bella had affected my life and how I had felt when I was still with her and she was alive. Damn it Bella! How could she do this to me? She had promised not to do anything reckless or stupid! Well in my book jumping off a freaking cliff was pretty damn stupid. It wasn't supposed to be like this! She was supposed to live a normal happy long life. Not a miserable existence in which she jumped off a cliff! I knew I was using anger at Bella to try and lessen the pain but I didn't really care. She had promised not to do anything like that and she did it anyways! How could she do that to me? It's because you left her by feeding her a lie that made death seem like a welcome alternative. Not to mention the fact that since she loved you, you had broken your promise as soon as you made it because it would be impossible to forget you existed. The voice in my head was right and I let myself feel the grief and started dry sobbing miserably. I let myself wallow in grief until the pilot announced we were in Volterra, Italy. It was time for me to be rid of my pain. Maybe, just maybe Carlisle was right and my Bella would be waiting for me. I quickly crushed that thought. Even if vampires weren't dammed to a life in hell I certainly would be for hurting an angel such as Bella like I had. People were getting off the plane so I stood. It was time…