Disclaimer: Don't own.
AN: NC-17. I don't think it's anything too explicit. But, there's your warning anyway. Now enjoy!
Iruka slowly woke up, laying on his side, staring at the pale chest in front of him, his head resting on the warm bare shoulder that belonged to his lover. He didn't move. He laid awake, as he felt the dark, depressing feeling slowly creep up. He shut his eyes, and let out a sigh, before slowly rolling over and getting up out of bed. He was thankful it was Saturday. He didn't have to worry about work. He didn't have to worry. He brushed his teeth and made his way to the kitchen and distracted himself by making breakfast.
He took eggs and milk out of the fridge, cinnamon, bread and vanilla from the cupboard. He broke and beat the eggs, milk, cinnamon, vanilla and a pinch of salt in a bowl. He lightly coated a skillet with oil and placed it on the stove, setting the heat to medium. He took a slice of bread and dipped it into the mixture, letting it sit for a while, making sure it soaked well, before taking and placing it on the skillet.
Warm pale arms wrapped around his waist Kakashi buried his face into the crock of the chunin's neck.
"Good Morning, Ruru," he mumbled against the tan neck.
"Good morning, 'Kashi," he replied as the older man lightly kissed his neck.
"Hmmm, French toast," he took a deep breath, allowing the aroma invade his senses.
"Hm, can you get the plates out?" the jounin moved to the cupboard and took two green plates out, bringing them to the chunin, who placed two slices on one plate as the jounin held them.
"Can you take out the powdered sugar?" Iruka took another slice of bread and dipped it into the mixture, then placed it on to the skillet, repeating the processes one more time, "and the syrup too."
"Alright," the jounin happily hummed to himself as he shuffled around the kitchen, taking out silverware and the necessary condiments for the French toast. He made his way back to the chunin, the empty plate in hand. Then taking the plate to the table, and made one last trip to the cupboard retrieving two glasses take were filled with orange juice.
They took their places at the table, "Itadakimasu," they said before digging in.
A comfortable silence fell over them as they ate, but Kakashi noticed that the man across from him seemed tense while he picked at his food. He thought it would be better not to question it, figuring it wouldn't help the situation.
"Do you have any plans for today?" he broke the silence with a neutral question.
Iruka looked up, a confused look on his face as if he didn't catch what the older man said, "Oh, no. I was just thinking of getting started on that homework I need to grade," he hesitated, "Why?"
"Hmm? Just wondering," He shoved a piece of French toast into his mouth, "I -," he thought he would be better if he chewed his food and swallowed it before speaking. Iruka caught his action and gave him a small smile, making the jounin, for some reason blush and nearly choke on his food. He cleared his throat before continued, "I was going to say, that I was thinking maybe you wanted to out for a movie and dinner."
"Oh," Iruka hesitated, "I...I'll like that," he forced a smile on his face.
Kakashi mentally frowned, What's bothering you Iruka? "Well, I have to go run some errands, so I'll come by say...four? That'll give you about six hours to grade some homework and stuff."
"By four you mean five then, right?"
"Actually, I was thinking three in my head and told you four."
A silence fell, and Iruka turned red, suppressing a laugh.
"Shut up," he mumbled and took the last piece of French toast into his mouth. At least I lightened his mood?
Iruka stood and took the plates to the sink. Kakashi noticed that the chunin hardly touched his food.
"You weren't hungry?" he risked the question.
"Hm, I didn't have much of an appetite," he threw away the hardly touched French toast and placed the plates in sink, turning on the faucet. Kakashi stood up, took a last drink of his juice while looking at his lover's back. He went to the bedroom, and dressed into a uniform. He wandered back into the kitchen and found his lover bracing himself on the edge of the sink, while the water ran. He wrapped his arms around the chunin's waist and rested his chin on his shoulder. They stood there for a while, silent. The chunin brought a hand up and cupped the jounin's cheek, his head leaning towards him.
"I'll see you later," he whispered into the chunin's ear, who nodded in response.
When Iruka heard the door shut close, he let out a sigh. He washed the dishes and decided to take a shower. He made his way to the bathroom and turned on the water, letting it heat up while he undressed. He stepped into the spray of hot water, letting himself relax. He shut his eyes and moved his head in the spray of water. Hot drops of water ran from his eyes. He knew they weren't water. He knew they were his silent tears.
Kakashi was standing in front of the monument paying his respects. Today was the anniversary of the Kyuubi attack. Even though, his mind was still wondering about his lover's odd behavior that morning.
What could be bothering him? His eyes roamed over the names on the monument, a silent gesture of respect. He froze as his eyes landed on a nameUmino…
Shit! He spun on his heel and ran back to Iruka's apartment, eventually traveling via rooftops, How could I forget! How could I be so blind!? He cursed at himself, Iruka, I'm so sorry.
He landed on Iruka's rooftop, and entered in his usual fashion; through the bedroom window. He began to look for his lover as the sound of the shower caught his attention. He slowly walked to the closed door, and leaned his forehead against it, listening to the falling water. His ears caught a sound, and listened more closely.
Sniff.
His heart clenched,Is he… He lowered his mask and slowly opened the door, letting out some of the steam that fogged the bathroom. He hesitantly pulled the shower curtain open, and the sight that it revealed made his chest clench. The chunin was sitting on the shower floor, under the spray, his knees drawn up to his chest with his arms resting on top of them, head resting on his folded arms. Kakashi knelt down near the tub of the shower, waiting patiently for the chunin to look at him.
Iruka slowly peered over his arms, his eyes rimmed red. He leaned on his cheek and gave the jounin a sad smile, "You're here early," his voice was strained, and his eyes filled with sadness.
Kakashi removed his gloves and pushed away dark stray strands that stuck to the chunin's forehead. Iruka was overcome by a sad sense of nostalgia and buried his face in his arms again. The pale hand continued to comb through the wet strands in a soothing gesture, as the younger man trembled, choking back his sobs.
"Iruka…" the jounin's voice was above a whisper. He got into the shower, not caring that he was still fully dressed and settled himself behind his lover, placing his legs on either side of the tan body. He wrapped his arms around the chunin's, bring the tan body closer. His hand resumed its stroking in hopes to relax the chunin
"Iruka," he said softly and kissed the tan shoulder in front of him in a soothing gesture. They sat under the spray in silence.
They were dying each off, Iruka avoided to make eye contact with the jounin. Kakashi frowned. He took his towel and looped it around the chunin's neck, pulling him into his arms. Iruka's arms naturally fell around the older man's waist, and leaned his head on the pale shoulder.
"I thought you said you have errands to run."
"They can wait."
"I'm alright," he pulled away from the jounin embrace and gave him a small smile, "I'll be alright, ok? Don't worry about me."
The jounin gave him a hurt look, "I've been through this plenty of times, Kakashi," he cupped a pale cheek making the jounin to make eye contact with him, "I'll be alright." He reassured the jounin. Sadly enough, he has been through this plenty of times, but every year, every single year, it hurts as if it was the first. Memories would flood him and he would find himself overwhelmed. Every year, was a reality slap in the face, that they were gone. They have been. And always will be. This year was different. This year Naruto wasn't there, he was gone training. This year, he didn't have a reason to be strong like in the past, when he would hide and mask his sadness for Naruto's sake, and instead celebrate the blonde boy's birthday.
His hand dropped from the pale cheek to the bare chest in front of him, as his eyes followed.
"I'll be alright…" he wasn't sure who he was trying to reassure anymore.
"Okasan!" Iruka's small figure ran through the grass toward his mother, "Okasan!" The figure continued to walk away from him, as if unaware of his callings.
"Okasan!" he tripped and fell forward onto the grass. He lifted himself with a grunt, his chunin uniform dirty by dirt. He stood up on shaking legs and looked up at the full moon surrounded by grey clouds. His gaze slowly fell back to his surroundings.
Bodies.
Blood.
A shrill cry.
"Mother…" his whisper was strained and unheard, "Father…" His legs wouldn't move. He suddenly couldn't breathe.
Iruka snapped his eyes open, his breathing coming his harsh pants. A warm hand was on his shoulder. He adjusted his eyes and looked up at the mismatched eyes filled with concern.
"You…fell asleep while grading the papers," Kakashi explained, and dropped his hand. He wasn't going to tell the chunin that he was whimpering in his sleep. It was painful enough to hear them.
"Oh," he sat up and took the hold of the red pen again, and realized that his hand was shaking. He was shaking.
Bodies.
Blood.
He shut his eyes as his whole body shuddered, and let out a ragged breath.
"I'll make you some tea," the jounin stood up and wandered into the kitchen.
It's never been this bad, his face expressed concern as he put the water to boil,I'm thinking that it has to do with Naruto not being here. The jounin braced himself on the counter and let out a sigh in defeat. There's nothing I can do, is there. I can only be here for him, and I just hope that's enough. His musings where interrupted by the whistle of the kettle. He poured the hot water over the tea bags of chamomile, hoping that it would help the chunin relax. He wandered back into the living room, and found the chunin working on his grading again. He looked up and gave the older man a small smile, while reaching up for the offered cup. Kakashi let the cup go too soon and nearly all of it splotched onto his hand in his attempt to grab hold of it.
"Shit," he cursed as his hand turned red. Iruka immediately stood up and took the other cup before that fell to.
"Come on," he pulled the jounin back into the kitchen and ran the burned hand under cold water, "I'll go get the first aid kit," he began to walk, "Keep that hand under the water."
Dang, that stings, the cold water was making the burn redder. The chunin returned and turned off the tap, and suddenly, the cold water didn't seem that bad. Tan fingers gently rubbed cool salve on the burn spreading it evenly.
"You can be really clumsy sometimes," he teased him as he messaged the balm on the burn.
Kakashi scratched the back of his neck, "I was a bit distracted." He gave a nervous chuckle.
"Oh? By what?" Iruka took a bit more of salve, making sure it was an even layer.
"You mean by whom," Iruka looked up and blushed at the grin the jounin was giving him.
"Figures," he murmured as he ducked his head back down. Taking the bandages and wrapping them around the burned hand.
"Okasan!" tears rolled down his face as he freely sobbed.
"Now now, Iruka. This is going to help, ok?" his mother gave him a sweet smile as he messaged the salve on to the burn on his hand, "You have to be more careful next time you help mommy cook, alright?"
Iruka nodded as tears rolled freely down his cheeks, the cool salve calming him down. Gentle hands wrapped the bandages around his smaller one. She brought it up and gave the bandaged hand a kiss, "There, all better."
Kakashi looked at the sad look that rolled on his lover's face, as he bandaged up the hand. The chunin lifted the hand to his lips and gave it a soft kiss.
"There," he smiled up at the jounin, "all better."
Kakashi leaned in and gave the chunin a soft kiss on the lips, "Thank you."
A small blush graced his cheeks, "Be more careful next time."
"Sure thing," Kakashi followed Iruka's figure with his eyes as he retreated back to the living room.
Yeah, be more careful, idiot, Kakashi's mind mocked him and followed his lover back to the living room.
Iruka looked up at the clock in the living room; it was 1:15pm. His grading wasn't getting done. He was distracted and time seemed to be going by slowly. He let out a sigh, and looked over to the jounin, who was reading his new book.
You're procrastinating, he told himself, you need to go.
He stood up and looked over at the jounin who looked back at him, "I need to…go run some errands." He told the older man.
"Want me to go with you?" he asked softly. He knew where the chunin was going. He was actually surprised he didn't go earlier.
Iruka hesitated, contemplating Kakashi's question, "No, it's alright." He walked to his bedroom and dressed into a pair of dark jeans and a black collar shirt. He redid his ponytail and grabbed his wallet on the out.
"I'll be back in a while," Iruka told the older man as he slipped on his shoes.
"Don't feel like if you have to hurry."
Iruka gave him a smile and headed out the door.
The day was rather gloomy. Grey clouds hovered above the village, giving the impression that it would rain. He made a trip to the flower shop and bought a dozen yellow lilies, before making his way to the monument.
No one was there.
Maybe they already paid their respects, he thought as he knelt and placed the lilies down in front of the stone. He didn't move. He gave his silent respects and prayers to all of those that sacrificed themselves for the village. Including his parents. He spftly talked about memories of the past, making his way to the present.
"One day, you'll meet a nice young girl and have a family of your own," his mother told him, a sweet smile gracing her features.
"Okasan! Girls are dirty!"
His mother giggled, "When you grow up, you'll see what I mean. You'll fall in love, and you'll be happier than you'll ever be."
Iruka sat in silence, Would you be disappointed in me? A drop of water hit his hand, then another. It began to lightly rain, Would you be disappointed that I didn't fall in love with a girl? But rather…with a man?
His clothes became soaked, but he didn't move. He didn't know how long he had been sitting there, in front of the monument. A nagging feeling told him that he should get up, and get out of rain before he caught a cold. A warm hand placed itself on his shoulder; he didn't have to look to see who it was.
"Iruka, we should get you inside before you catch a cold," Kakashi told him quietly as he knelt down beside him. Being the genius he is, he forgot to grab an umbrella before leaving Iruka's apartment.
Iruka placed a hand on top of the one on his shoulder, "Mom, dad…" he began, "This is Kakashi, Hatake Kakashi, he's also known as the famous Copy Nin or whatever, but I don't care…this is the man that I've fallen in love with," his grip on the pale hand became firmer, and Kakashi felt himself blush and for some reason, he felt nervous.
"The strangest part about it, is that he loves me back," a small smile graced his features, "He might make me worry sick when he's off on a mission, or sometimes prove to me that he really isn't a genius, but despite all of that, I'm the happiest I've ever been…just like you said I would, mom." He paused for a moment, tears welled up in his eyes, "Dad, if you met him, you would think he was strange and aloof…," he gave a small chuckle as he felt Kakashi slump, "and mom, you would think he's mysterious because of his ever present mask and…eccentric," he smiled fondly at the name of his parents on the monument, his vision becoming blurry through his tears, "But once you get to know him, he's actually very kind, and sweet…and surprisingly romantic," he felt himself blush, "and you would love him…" he choked on a sob and the pale hand firmed its hold on his shoulder, "because I-I love him s-so much…" he began to cry, not being able to hold it back, knowing the fact that his parents would never meet this wonderful man he speaks of.
Kakashi wrapped his arms around the chunin's shoulder and held him against his chest, letting the man sob freely. While the rain poured on their figures.
"Iruka…" he said softly, as a tan hand gripped his soaked shirt. The younger man nodded against his chest and they both stood up. Iruka looked at the monument and smiled softly, before taking him lover's hand and turned to walk back home.
Kakashi roughly dried his hair with a towel, a robe loosely tied close. He glanced to over to Iruka and found him in the same state. He stalked over to the chunin and began to dry the brunette's hair. Iruka gave a noise of surprise and relaxed into the ministration. The towel was looped around his neck as lips placed themselves on his own.
"Where's your brush, Ruru?" the chunin gave him a dazed look.
"Huh? Oh, should be on the dresser," he pointed at said dresser as the jounin went to retrieve it. Kakashi turned back towards him, brush in hand, and grabbed the chunin's wrist, pulling him to the living room. He sat on the couch and Iruka gave him a hesitant look, and blushed as his eyes traveled to opening of the robe the exposed a pale thigh. He took his spot and sat on the floor, in between the pale legs. Kakashi began to brush the chocolate locks, gently detangling the knots.
"Your hair looks really nice long, Iruka," his mother commented as she brushed his hair, "but are you sure you don't want to cut it?"
"Hn!" Iruka gave an exaggerated nod, "I kinda like it like this." His mother giggled in response.
"Whatever makes you happy, Iruka."
The brushing continued only because Kakashi noticed that the man relaxed under the action. The strands slowly began to dry, and Iruka leaned his head on the exposed thigh, sending a tingling up the muscle.
"Iruka?" Kakashi softly called his name; Maybe the brushing...maybe it triggered something. He mentally frowned at himself. He gasped as Iruka kissed his inner thigh, catching him by surprise. A shiver ran down his spine as the chunin kissed it again, this time licking and nibbling at the spot, "Iruka?" his voice cracked as the chunin stood up and straddled his lap, the robe sliding over and off the tan thighs.
Iruka nuzzled the jounin's jawline, kissing below the earlobe. His hands slid into the robe and trailed his fingers over the clavicle, before traveled over the pale chest. He buried his face into the exposed neck, breathing in the scent of soap and the older man's chemistry. The younger man raised his head and kissed the pale chin, before looking into the mismatched eyes, a light blush dusking his cheeks.
Kakashi brushed away a few stray strands, cupping the chunin's cheek and brought him into a kiss. Kissing him passionately, tenderly. The chunin brought a hand up to the base of the jounin's neck, bringing him closer, and sighed into the kiss. They broke the kiss to breath, to only claim each other's lips again. The kiss stayed tender, it didn't turn heated, nor desperate.
Iruka pulled the kiss and gasped for air as he looked into mismatched eyes. The pale hand cupping his cheek ran a thumb under his eyes, grazing the end of the scar that crossed his nose. He closed his eyes and leaned into the touch, placing his own hand over the pale one, as if not wanting to let go. A small smile graced his lips as he opened his eyes and kissed the palm of the pale hand. He locked his gaze with the mismatched eyes, one that Kakashi understood oh too well, but there was something different about this gaze. This gaze, filled with so much love, made his heart flutter and rise. This gaze, told him to be gentle.
His pale hand dropped to the covered shoulder, slowly moving away the fabric to expose tan skin. He kissed it as his free hand pulled down the other side of the robe, opening it further, revealing more expanse of skin, the tan chest and stomach, the robe framing it in a V-shape. He made a slow trail of kisses on the exposed kiss, as his hands caressed the younger man's biceps.
Tan hands slipped back into the robe, making it slip off of pale shoulders, as he caressed the sides of his lover's torso. A low moan slipped through his lips as his lover's mouth found its way to a nipple, kissing it and teasing it to a nub. He felt the warm hands slide down to his exposed thighs and gently stroke them, making him shiver.
Kakashi managed to stand up, wrapping the tan legs around his waist, while kissing the younger man's neck. He gently laid the chunin onto the bed, settling himself in between the parted tan legs. Kakashi untied the robe and slid it completely open, revealing the younger man's erect member. Gentle fingers trailed over the tan skin, as his mismatched eyes followed. Tan arms snaked their way out of the sleeves and pulled the older man into a kiss, sighing into it as it expressed tenderness, and promise. The kiss was reluctantly broken, the older man finding purchase on the tan neck. The younger man tipped his neck away from him, giving him better access. He gave a low moan as the pale hands glided along his upper thigh. He untied the older man's robe, and looked at the newly exposed skin. He traced delicate scars on the pale chest as a hand came up and held it in place, over his heart. He looked at the older man, and found a loving smile, and blushed cheeks. A tan hand contrasted on the older man's cheek.
"Iruka…" he spoke softly into the younger man's palm, before kissing it. He lifted himself enough to slide the robe off, getting it out of the way. He blushed as he noticed that his lover was looking at him, admiring him. His lover pulled him back down, making their bodies flush, their erection trapped against their stomachs. They both let out a soft moan, and briefly rocked their hips to get more of that friction.
Kakashi fumbled in the drawer of the bedside table and retrieved the small tube of lube, opening it and slickening his fingers. Iruka moaned and gasped as a finger teased his entrance, while Kakashi distracted him by clamping his mouth onto the tan neck, and pushed a finger in. The tan hips bucked and a groan passed the parted lips.
"'Kashi," he breathed out as he wrapped his arms around the older man's neck.
Another finger joined the digit, spreading the liquid along the inner muscles, lightly messaging the younger man's prostate. Iruka moaned into the jounin's ear, and wrapped a leg around the man's waist.
"'Kashi," he said breathlessly as the man prepared him.
"Ruru," he kissed the younger's man's temple and added another finger, turning his wrist to spread the liquid. Iruka rocked his hips towards him, stabbing his erection into the pale stomach. Kakashi groaned and slowly withdrew his fingers. He leaned back, pulling out of Iruka's embrace. He lifted the tan hips on his lap, using his thighs as leverage. He placed himself at Iruka's entrance, and glanced up. Iruka was looking at him through half-lidded eyes, face flushed, and parted lips panting for air. He moved to hover over the younger man, bracing himself on his elbows, and began to push into the tight heat.
Iruka moaned and arched his neck, bringing his hands to grip at Kakashi's shoulders.
"'Kashi," his name turned into moan as the older man pushed in deeper. He stilled as he became fully sheathed within the chunin. Moaning at the tight heat around him. Iruka rocked his hips, and Kakashi pulled out slowly and pushed back in, keeping a slow and steady pace. Thrusting deep, but slow and tender. Iruka looped his arms around the older man's shoulders, making their bodies flush, his erection trapped in between their taut stomachs. Kakashi wrapped his own arms around the chunin's shoulders, returning the embrace, as they kept the steady pace of their hips rocking together. Tan legs firmly wrapped around the jounin's waits, allowing deeper penetration. One of his hands trailed down the jounin's spine and rested at the small of his back. His body tensed and he gasped against the jounin's neck as the thrust began to stroke at his prostate.
"'Kashi," he moaned and closed his eyes as the pleasure overtook him, "'Kashi." The older man was moaning his name into his ear, moving a hand down his side, caressing the skin as it traveled up his thigh, eliciting a low sigh from the younger man. Kakashi began to roll his hips, giving more desired friction to Iruka's ignored member.
Iruka gasped and arched under him, his embrace tightening around him, "'Oh…'Kashi." Kakashi raised himself enough to brush his lips against Iruka's clavicle, kissing it lightly.
"'Kashi," he breathed out as his body tensed, "'Kashi," he said more desperate. Lips found his, engaging him in a deep sweet kiss, one that expressed so much effection that it was enough to throw him over the edge. His body bucked under his's lover's as he came in between them, breaking the kiss to breath and pant for air. The resulting contraction pushed Kakashi with him, finding his release in midst of his of his lover's, burying his face as his hips rolled through his orgasm.
They laid in each other arms, panting, and enjoying each other's warmth. Kakashi shifted his weight enough to pull out of Iruka, who shuddered in response. Kakashi rolled them onto their sides without breaking their embrace, ignoring the stickiness in between them. The chunin sighed and snuggled closer to him. Kakashi pulled away enough to peer at the chunin in his arms. His eyes were closed, a blush on his cheeks, and a soft smile gracing his lips. He opened his eyes and chocolate eyes looked back at him.
"They would have loved you…" he said barely above a whisper, "I know they would have…," he closed his eyes, "…You are so good to me…" he trailed off as his stated body drifted him off to sleep. Kakashi reached over and managed to pull the blanket over their bodies.
Kakashi combed his fingers through chocolate strands, watching his lover sleep in his arms, They're proud of you, Iruka. He kissed the sleeping man's forehead, there's no doubt about that. The soft pattering on the window from rain, and the breathing of his lover, lulled him to sleep.
Iruka woke up; half sprawled over his lover's pale body, his head resting on the bare shoulder, while his hand rested over the other man's heart. Rain drops pattered the window, and the face of his alarm clock told him that it was 7:22pm. He felt a chill and tugged the blanket over their frames. The older man sighed in his sleep, tightening his one armed hug around the chunin. Iruka smiled against the pale skin, and felt the man under his stir.
"Hmm," the older man murmured.
Iruka gave the expanse of pale skin in front of him a kiss, "you awake?" he asked softly, in case the older man wasn't.
"Yeah," came the groggy response.
"What happened to that movie and dinner you told me about?" Iruka questioned with a smirk on his lips.
"Ah, right," he chuckled, "I don't suppose you still want to go."
"It's still raining," he rubbed a warm hand over the chilled pale skin, "but you owe me now."
The torso under him rumbled as the older man chuckled, "Can I make it up to you?"
Iruka lifted his head and glared at him, "Are you trying to get out of a date thatyou planned?"
Kakashi kissed his lover's forehead, "Of course not."
Iruka gave him a frustrated sigh and laid his head back down. The pale hand on his shoulder rubbed his biceps as if the older man was subconscious of his actions.
"Thank you," he whispered against the pale chest. The arm around him gave him a reassuring squeeze.
Kakashi felt the chunin smile against his skin, "There no need to thank me, Ruru. We can have our date tomorrow."
Iruka lightly swatted at the chest in front of him, "That's not what I meant," he said with a stern voice, "…You…you know what I meant."
"Yes, and again," he lifted the chunin chin, and looked into those deep chocolate orbs, "there's no need to thank me," he gave his chunin a sweet kiss.
Iruka felt a blush on his cheeks as he smiled warmly at his lover. He settled back down as the relaxing sound of the pattering rain filled the room.
Mom, dad…He's a wonderful man, even when people are quick to judge him, his gentle fingers traced sensitive scars, I don't think I've ever been happier, he let out a content sigh, and this can only get better.