Disappear, Disappear

Higher, Higher

Into the Air.

Slowly Disappear. . .

No, no longer here.

"If I have to tell you one more time how to do this, I'm gonna' do it myself and you're not going to be happy with it." I heard Jill declare from the living room. From what I could understand, she was barking orders at Leon first thing in the morning – which probably wasn't a great idea. "I'm about to let you do it your damn self so you'll shut up about it." I smiled thinly, almost feeling badly for quickly choosing Leon's side in the argument I had no part of.

I stood in front of the mirror while brushing my thick hair back into a ponytail. As I began to loop the tie around the base of the ponytail, I glanced down at Jill's make-up supply. There was every color of eyeshadow under the sun, nearly ten tubes, containers, bottles and tubs of foundation, a cup full of mascaras and eyeliners and other off-the-wall supplies. I shook my head, wondering if all of this was really necessary or just an female obsession like shoes, purses, perfumes, ect.

I picked up a container of Jill's moisturizer and smeared some of the cream across my face and blended it in with my fingers. The only thing I would use of hers. Occasionally if I was feeling fancy, I'd wear some clear lip gloss and possibly a touch of mascara. That's as far as I would go.

The morning had came and passed quickly, for it was already closing in on two in the afternoon. Figuring I had slept for much of the morning, I went ahead and decided to skip breakfast makings and went straight for lunch. Walking out from the hallway, I got a peek at what Jill and Leon's tiff was about. The entertainment center Jill had bought for the house. Leon was sitting in the middle of the living room floor in a white t-shirt and a pair of flannel pajama bottoms, studying the manual and pieces of wood that surrounded him carefully. From what I could see, not much had been accomplished. Jill stood over him, hands on hips, watching him suspiciously.

As Leon was reaching for a smaller piece of redwood, he caught a glimpse of me. An immediate smile dashed across his face which made my cheeks burn. "Well, Goodmornin' Sunshine." I only waved and quickly made my way into the Kitchen for cover. Leon did not live with us but he may as well have. As soon as the sun was up till way after the sun made it's way back down – you could count that Leon would be here. I suppose I would do the same if I lived by myself and knew all of my friends lived under the same roof.

My brother and his wife, Jill, offered to let me stay with them while I went through school in an attempt to help me save money to eventually get out there on my own. I had been here for about half of a year now and was already wanting to pull my hair out. Jill argued with everything that would listen and Chris should explain himself. He's my brother. What else is there to say about that? Alright, I suppose he's not horrible but I spent nearly my whole childhood under the same roof as him and that was plenty of enough time. So needless to say, Leon was usually always a welcomed relief. Calm and collected, unless building an entertainment center for Jill, he was a joy to be around. It does seem to help to mention the fact that he, well, basically saved my life more than once. I can't help but to fully respect him. Also, I couldn't help that those reasons are also a clarification as to why I have began to feel strong feelings for him. I felt as though I was in High School all over again.

"Are you sure that goes there?" I heard Jill whine as I took two pieces of bread out of the cabinet. I rolled my eyes, getting just as annoyed with Jill as I knew he was and I wasn't even the one she was scoping. I figured I would do my part to help.

"Hey, Jill?" I called out from the kitchen. "Can you show me where you put the peanut butter?"

"It's in the top right cabinet above the sink!" She snapped. I sighed, tossing the bread onto a paper plate. Plan failed. I knew she wasn't about to leave his side as long as he had the tools and manual in hand. I finished making my sandwich and shuffled into the living room, plopping down on the couch. Jill was now attempting to help Leon. It was clear all over his face that her help was definitely not appreciated. I sat quietly as I ate as I was not sure if anything I said would be a welcome or a disturbance.

"How'd you sleep?" Leon asked with his back still facing me. I figured he was talking to me so I answered quietly, "Alright, I suppose." I had no idea why I felt so awkward around him and it had only been like this for just a few days. It didn't make it any better that I could see every sculpted, ripped muscle through his white t-shirt that made the whole situation even more awkward than usual.

Leon put down the manual and maneuvered himself off of the floor and dusted off his behind. "I have to take a break." He stated. Jill rolled her eyes and leaned down, snatching the papers from the floor. "Guess I'll just have to do it myself, anyways." Leon cocked a brow, staring her down. "I said I was taking a break, not quitting." She ignored him as she started picking up a couple of pieces. Leon only shook his head and turned towards me. All I could do was shrug. "You wanna' step outside with me?" He asked.

It was colder than usual outside. Even though I was use to extreme chills, after living in Florida for awhile now you almost can appreciate any cold that you get. The sky was a pale blue with only a few puffs of clouds in sight. It was a nice afternoon. Leon grabbed his pack of cigarettes off the window seal and took out one, lighting it. Tossing the pack back down, he sat in the porch swing. Patting the empty area beside him, he glanced up to me. "Have a seat." He offered. I walked across the porch and sat down, automatically began pushing the ground to get the swing started.

"I see Jill's out for blood this morning." I attempted to make light of the situation. Leon snorted a small laugh before inhaling some of the smoke. "She might as well be tryin' to squeeze blood from a turnip because I'm not her dog." I smiled, leaning back into the swing. "I know what will make you feel better." I suggested. Leon looked over at me and caught me off guard with his deep blue eyes. They were filled with emotions that I had never seen out of him before. Yet again, here I was feeling things for Leon that two years ago would have made me laugh. "Oh yeah?" Leon seemed interested. I nodded, tugging at my XL shirt I stole from Chris to sleep in.

"I'm going out to the shooting range in a couple of hours. How about you join me?" Leon's face lit up like a child's at Christmas before he lightly pinched my arm. "That's what I love about you, Claire. We think so much alike." The word sent a shiver down my spine. Of course I knew what he meant but my heart wanted to take it other places that it probably shouldn't go. Then again, it hurt me somewhat. I knew that Leon saw me as a "sister" and that's what got under my skin. The fact of knowing that once you are considered as a close friend, such as a family member, it's basically disgusting to think of that person as anything but that.

Leon took a few more drags from his cigarette before speaking again. "Hopefully I'll just get this done for her so she doesn't turn it around on me." I could tell by his voice he was annoyed. "Whaddya' mean?" I asked. He ran a hand through his long bangs as he exhaled smoke. "Jill likes to turn things around when Chris is here and make it seem like I'm a good-for-nothing and that she always has to pick up where I left off. It's stupid. ." He trailed off from there. I guess he figured I would understand it from there and nothing more would have to be said. "I understand." was all I was really able to say.

Leon put out his cigarette before it was even half way done and looked back over towards me. "Well, I guess I'm gonna' get this damned thing finished before your brother comes home." He groaned as he pulled himself from the swing. I stood up as well, falling him back into the house. It was a short conversation and one almost not worth mentioning. Yet, any secluded moment with Leon had became wonderful to me. "I'm taking a shower," I announced to Jill and Leon, "so if anyone wants to use the bathroom, now is your chance." Both of them shook their heads and off I went.

The shower was really the only place you had for yourself in this house. If it wasn't Chris and Jill at each other's throats, or Leon managing to upset Jill into bitch-fits, it was Chris and all of his buddies over for Monday Night Football or Jill having some "classy" party for her work crew. Who, by the way, were nothing but stuck-up snobs that were higher in rank – therefore Jill's whole 'friendship' was just a way to kiss ass. Turning the water to almost a boil, I soaked under the heat, letting it cool my mind.

The whole thing with Leon started so quick I don't even know where to begin. Like I said before, I've lived here for just over a half of a year. Leon has been coming over to see Jill and Chris often since they had gotten married; about a year ago. At first, Leon and I's reunion was bitter sweet. He first came off as a Government robot and a total prick. I didn't like it at all. It was uncomfortable to be around him and made dinners out very awkward and upsetting. Once he had been around all of us long enough, his hard shell began to crack and the rookie cop I had met back in Raccoon City began to show. Then it was impossible to see one of us without the other. We were never romantically involved with each other nor interested in that way. Leon and I did the "guy" things. Shooting ranges, nights out at the pool hall with some other guys, bar-hopping, and occasionally I would even follow them all into Stripper Joints. It was never my idea but I didn't mind it as long as there was a pool table in the back. A few nights ago Leon had decided to drink over his limit. After the guys had left for the night it was my duty to take care of him and make sure he'd make it through the night. I knew he would be fine but he wasn't so sure.

"I feel like I'm going to die." Leon slurred, holding his stomach tightly as he curled up on the sofa. I stood in front of him with a glass of water, waiting for him to come to just enough to begin sobering himself. "You're not going to die, Leon. You just need to sit up and drink some water." The only response I got back was some sort of muffled groan in pain. With a sigh, I sat down beside Leon's head and with one hand, ran my fingers through his hair. "You're going to be fine. Drink some water, okay?" He never said anything back, he only adjusted himself on the couch so he could wrap his arm around my waist, scooting up to lay his head in my lap.

There was a knock on the door. "Claire?" It snapped me back to reality. My brother was at the bathroom door. "Are you still in there?" He asked as I was drying off my hair. "Yes!" I called out, sounding obviously annoyed. After that there was no more said. Wrapping the towel around me and tucking it tightly, I stepped outside to go to the bedroom. Before I could even make it to the bedroom door I heard a wolf whistle. Turning, I saw Chris standing at the end of the hallway with a couple of his friends. Giving them all the finger, I made my way into the room. "Pigs." I said to myself as I began to dress.

Surprisingly, the shooting range was pretty dead for a Saturday. Normally the rednecks would be done hunting and now would be practicing their shots for the rest of the day to make up for their loss. The gun fanatics would be out just because it seemed to be their solid addiction. Leon always had this habit of dressing up for any occasion properly. He wore all black. Black jeans along with matching boots and a tight black shirt that seemed to melt against his skin. Over that was a grey coat with a white trim along the collar. His hair was pulled back with his sunglasses. Sometimes I felt good being out with Leon. I saw the way girls looked at him and it was satisfying at times to know what was going through their mind.

As for myself, I almost matched Leon. Black pants and boots, except throwing it off with a white tank top. Not to brag but I was in shape myself. I spent a lot of time outdoors as well as working out. I was tiny, yes, there was no changing that. Standing barely over five feet it was still hard to seem intimidating, even with defined muscles. Leon stood at one of the tables, fiddling around with his gun. "You know, Claire. I really appreciate you getting me out of that house today. I mean, I know I could have just gone home but. . Where's the fun in that?" He made an attempt at a small, sheepish laugh. I smiled as I watched him take apart his gun, cleaning it. "No problem-o. Friends look out for friends." I gave him a small pat on the back. "You seem to do that a hell of a lot, kid." I felt my eye twitch. Did I mention the biggest downfall of this "brother-sister" relationship? Leon had a bad habit with referencing me as a child. I knew he meant no harm and it had became clearly what I said, a habit. "Heh, I can't help myself." I went ahead and pull the ear-muffs over my ears, along with slipping on the goggles.

"I met this girl the other night at Dean's house." Leon started talking. I felt an empty pit in my stomach but continued to play cool. "Oh really?" I tried to act enthused. "Yeah, she was pretty cute," Leon took aim and fired off a few rounds at the target before letting the gun back down, pressing the button on the desk to bring the target close. "but about as interesting as mashed potatoes." I didn't respond. I just began shooting. Did he know that I liked him? Is this why he was mentioning another girl? Or was I just that much like one of the guys?

"Christmas is only a few weeks away we don't even have the tree up." Jill was automatically complaining as soon as we entered the door. "Well, get to it." Chris joked. I wasn't exactly sure why she had been acting like this lately but it almost seemed to be consuming her usual calm state of mind. I was beginning to think she was having an extreme case of P.M.S. Jill started snapping at Chris and I made a dash for the den. Leon was right on my heels, also avoiding the conflict that was heating up in the other room. "Do those two ever stop?" Leon asked quietly, in fear of Jill hearing him. "I'm starting to think it won't." We both took a seat on the couch and flipped on the T.V.

In the silence that was slowly building up in the room, even with the T.V. on, Leon spoke up. "Do you ever think of it?" His voice was quiet and sincere. I wasn't sure what he meant. Turning to him, I raised a brow, waiting for him to explain himself. With a sigh, he moved nervously. "The City." I knew then exactly what he meant. Raccoon City. That dreaded place filled with the smell of rotting flesh, the sights of your worse nightmares and the fears of the ultimate Horror movie. "A day doesn't go by that I don't." I replied honestly. "Me neither. ." he said. There was worry in his eyes and I wasn't quite sure why. "Why did you bring it up?" It was out of the blue for him to mention it. "I'm not sure, really." He stated. "Even as horrid as the whole situation was, if it wasn't for that town, I don't know where I would be right now. I wouldn't have the job I have, the fearlessness that I've structured in myself, nor the friendship I have with you and the others." His voice was stern. I couldn't help but smile. "Is it weird that I'm thankful for the break out?" He asked. Thinking about it for a moment, I shrugged. "I don't really think so. I think it's good that you can find the best out of the worst situations. It definitely says something about you."

Chris came into the den, obviously defeated. "Claire, would you mind coming with me to pick out a Christmas tree?" His voice was more upset than it was angry. Which was odd. I suppose Jill's sudden change of attitude was even a shock for her own husband. Glad I wasn't the only one thinking she had gone crazy. "I don't know if I would pick the wrong one or not. It may be too big, too small or too many tinsels or too few." I couldn't help but giggle. Poor, poor Chris. All those years of terrorizing me was catching up to him. "Sure, I'll go with you." I offered. Chris nodded at Leon. "Wanna' join too? I'm not the only one who needs to suffer."

So off we went. To the different on-the-side-of-the-road Christmas Tree stands. Most were over-priced and not worth the hassle. Chris wanted a bigger tree and I kept suggesting we get a smaller one so it doesn't make as much as a mess. Leon knew he really had no say-so therefor he just tagged along quietly. He didn't stay quiet for long. "So, tell me Chris. What the hell is wrong with your wife?" He pipped up. Chris quickly turned around to face Leon and at first it seemed like he was going to jump down his throat. "You tell me and we'll both know." He barked. Chris wasn't mad at Leon for asking, he was aggravated with the whole deal. "She's been like this for a week now. I don't know what the hell to do."

"Aunt Flo' came to see her?" Leon suggested. Chris looked puzzle. "What?"

"You know, that time of the month?" He made it a little more clear. "Oh," Chris raised his hands. "I don't know. Jill and I haven't had sex in nearly two and a half weeks. The only time I pay attention to that is when we're actually doing anything." I really didn't want to hear that even though I was use to it. Hell, I lived with them. If you think I've gone my whole time living there without hearing one little peep out of them while in bed, you're horribly wrong.

"Has she talked to you at all, Claire?" Chris asked, almost desperately. I snorted. "Outside of yelling and bitching? No." I felt the pine needles of one tree, losing myself in the feeling of Christmas. I didn't want to think about my feelings for Leon, the difficulty of dealing with Jill, or the good out of Raccoon City. My mind wanted to fall blank no matter how hard it was. I took a good look at the trees around me, some of them already decorated with white lights. I could hear Leon and Chris chatting among each other but paid no mind to the words. I needed to get out. It was all coming to me in that moment shared with that tiny little Christmas tree. Here I was, sharing a moment with a tree. Was I crazy? Borderline, perhaps.

I looked around at the trees that surrounded this little one. They were all different shapes and sizes but all had the same meaning. The were to be strapped to the tops of cars, touted home and inside of homes, strapped down by a tree stand and decorated with lights and ornaments. They would be the shelter of children's presents until Christmas morning. And where were they usually by the end of that week? Stripped of their jewelry and laid out to the road to be destroyed. Didn't sound like a great deal, if you asked me. And here I was, coated with the temporary comfort of my brother's home, the false hopes of a romance with a man who referred to me as "kid" and a friend who was believed to be loosing her cookie. I worked at a Hotel overnights, watching movies and catering to the drunks who managed to stumble their way down into the lobby. If I had any say-so, I would say this tree and I had a lot in common.

We were going to end up with the same fate if their wasn't a change of pace.

This is the beginning my story. The start of something new.

This is where I disappear.