A/N- I know I should be writing for 'Nude, With Calla Lilies' but I was just on the treadmill where I do mot of my thinking cos running is rediculously boring, and this came into my head, even though I was trying to plan for my One TRee Hill stories. So I thought I'd better write it before I forgot it, so here we are lol. And thanks to the snow, this is being posted tonight because I can't go out :(

So I hope you enjoy, and to everyone who has reviewed any of my other GG oneshots, I want to officially thank you all here :)

Oh, and I almost forgot, song lyrics are from Ross Copperman. I own nothing.

They'll Never Know

Hush, baby don't cry, just get through this night

Overcome.

'Cos all that you are, is broken inside

But they'll never know.

It's as though the baby promises one more mouthful and then that's it, her hand stabbing the fork into the plate of pasta salad. All on her own, yet she still looks around, her left hand pressed against her stomach as her teeth pull the pasta off of the fork, and she swallows almost guiltily, shutting her eyes as she places the fork down on the plate.

Another night she'll go to bed hungry.

Her lips force something of a satisfied smile, because she's made it through the second trimester now, her old clothes tighter and hidden at the back of her wardrobe, new clothes baggy so she can smile and shrug faux-innocently when her peers comment that she's lost weight.

She's glad she's not a cheerleader. An exposed stomach would give everything away.

A flick of dark brunette hair and she grabs her purse, remembering to stand up slower than she used to -the baby doesn't like fast movements and she can't afford to throw up in public bathrooms.

Anyone could be watching. Or listening.

The test is still in the bottom drawer in her bedroom, buried underneath Hermes scarves and beautiful leather gloves she's collected from boutiques near her father's house in France, white with the clear blue line that lead to all of this.

Serena doesn't even know. Nor her mom, her dad, Nate, Chuck.

So far, even Gossip Girl has no idea, and that's how she'll keep it, Blair figures. She can be in and out of the hospital within two days, three at the most baring in mind no complications.

Then things can go back to normal and she can have fish again. Serena's too in love with Dan to notice that they've missed their weekly sushi. Normally, she'd have been pissed.

Now she's just thankful for the distraction.

She's back to being queen B now, Serena by her side, Jenny too, and Kati and Iz. They lunch on the steps, pass notes in class and drink cocktails in limos. She's perfected the art of making it look like she's sipping from her class, and she does even better fake-drunkenness. She's decided that maybe she should pursue a career in acting.

She's gotten God damn excellent at pretending.

-

Her fingers trail over the expanse of beautiful material, her hair curled in perfect ringlets, a couple stands pinned back to make her cheekbones stand out a little more. Only a month to go now and she's put on nearly ten pounds in total.

Her face looks a little fuller.

A generous amount of blusher usually helps.

It's Serena's birthday party tonight, complete with champagne and cake and all kinds of temptations. Nate's not going, Serena had said. Chuck is.

She thinks back to the other day, in the quad at school where she could have sworn Chuck gave her the smallest of nods as he made his way up the steps. Maybe it was just wishful thinking, but it made her feel something nonetheless.

Butterflies.

Or maybe it was just the baby, her baby kicking. It had been doing a lot of that lately, and the effects from lack of sleep were beginning to take their toll. Bed time had crept to nine now, with a new gel eye mask to smooth her skin.

She does anything she can to prevent media coverage.

"Blair are you ready?" Serena calls, knocking on the closed door. She moves her hands from her stomach quickly and licks her lips.

"Yeah, come in."

Her best friend looks beautiful, with a short blue gown making her look every inch like the princess she's treated as. It's pretty and clings in all the right places, blonde hair cascading down her back as she smiles back.

They look totally different.

And Serena still doesn't see it, just smiles as waves a camera at the brunette.

"Picture time!"

"S, do we really have to?"

"Come on B, what's the matter with you? You always used to love photos." Serena laughs, rolling her eyes as she wraps her arm around her best friend, and points the camera towards them anyway.

Good thing her question was a rhetorical one.

-

Don't think that they'll change

They'll push you away, far from home.

'Cos all that they are, is broken inside

But they'll never know.

She's stood by the drinks table clutching a vodka and cranberry juice so as not to attract attention. Her eyes stay fixed on Serena and Dan, trying to remember if Nate ever looked at her the way Dan does at Serena.

And then she shakes her head, because she might not like the answer, and brings the glass to her lips, never inhaling because something about alcohol these days makes her want to throw up.

"Looking swell B."

She almost drops the glass she's holding as Chuck stands beside her, his eyes looking in the same direction as Bair's, and she realises it's so that nobody notices them.

"What?" She hisses.

"I said, you look swell. Nice."

Does he know?

"My God, is that actually a compliment from Chuck Bass?" She says with as much sarcasm in her voice as she can muster. She doesn't have the patience for much though these days.

"I guess tonight's your lucky night."

She rolls her eyes and swirls the liquid around in her glass as though she couldn't care less that the guy who could potentially be the father of the tiny human being inside her is talking to her. But her heart is hammering in her chest and her ears and she wonders if he can hear.

"Hardly."

"So what do you do lately?"

"What?"

Their eyes are still on Serena and Dan, and Blair feels her lips curl into the smallest of smiles as Dan kisses her, and she looks like she wouldn't mind if it was only them in the room.

"What do you do. Where do you hang out?"

"Oh, you mean since you last called me a slut in the hotel lobby? Well I shop, and I hand out with Serena and…" She trails off as Chuck starts to interrupt her, but she doesn't hear what he's saying because there's a pain stabbing through her abdomen.

Shutting her eyes tightly, she clutches the glass in her hand even tighter as Chuck rambles on about something or other, until eventually the pain goes away.

She tries to shake it off, forget, and concentrate on Serena and Dan again.

And then she remembers that Chuck's talking, so she tries to listen again, because she does actually care about what he's saying. Perhaps if she didn't care, she'd have walked away when he first started talking.

"So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry, and I…"

The pain hits her again, and she crouches over a little, a small amount of liquid spilling from her glass.

He doesn't notice though, nobody notices because she's on the sidelines, and Gossip Girl has been focused on the newest information concerning Dan's birthday gift for Serena.

The pain gets worse, and she slams the glass against the table, ignoring Chuck's confused expression, and his feelings as she hurries away towards what she hopes to be the safe haven of the bathroom, hot tears burning in her eyes, because as much as she wants to pretend otherwise, she knows exactly what's happening.

-

So don't you cry tonight

Rest your weary eyes 'cos all that you are, is broken inside

It's nothing you could change

It's nothing you could hide.

She's beautiful. Every inch of her skin, every finger, every toe, the raven hair on her head, perfect. Her eyes are deep brown, chocolate even, and Blair knows exactly who her daddy is.

She opens her mouth to whisper something to the tiny girl, but then she remembers that she can't keep her, that this utter peace can't last, and that it would be easier if she didn't even hold her.

But she's in her arms, and her eyes never leave Blair's. And then she can't help but wonder if she'd be able to do this.

And it's as if she's in a movie, because then the door bursts open and a very out of breath Chuck stops dead in the middle of the room, a nurse close behind him shouting that he can't go in there.

But he's gotten past that stage, and his eyes are locked with Blair's. She just looks at the nurse, and without realising, nods for her to know that it's all okay.

Even though she knows that none of this is okay.

"You're…" He stutters. "I didn't…"

"Nobody knew." She says softly, looking back down at the little girl in her arms. She's glad that she'll be too young to remember any of this. "Not even Serena."

"But how…"

Blair simply shrugs. "Nobody knew to look out for anything different than normal." Then she looks at him more serious than she ever has in her entire life. "Don't tell."

He only nods and gulps. "I should've…"

She shakes her head. "Don't."

She can't have him apologise for any of this.

And then he disappears as quickly as he came in, no explanation, just his hands against the back of his neck. She's all alone with her baby girl again, and now Blair realises she looks even more like her daddy than she could have thought.

So even though her head tells her not to, and her heart begs her not to, she whispers the little girl's name into the air.

Charlotte Amelia.

Her daughter has to have a pretty name, even if she doesn't keep it.

Blair will know. And that's good enough. And even though her heart's breaking with every second, she promises just one last hold before she puts her daughter back in the crib at the side of the bed.

-

Pink flowers and bows: that's all you should know

And Summer days.

'Cos all that you are is beautiful child

But they'll never know.

She's turned away from the door when he enters carefully, her back to the crib, hands over her ears and Chuck knows she's crying.

She barely flinches when he sits down beside her on the bed, but he silently swears that she moved up a little to make room for him. So he rests the flowers on the table beside her, and places the little pink gift bag next to them, a small sad smile over to the crib where their daughter lays gurgling.

She doesn't have to tell him that she's his. Blair's eyes tell him everything he needs to know, and everything he tries to avoid caring about. He wishes that wasn't the case.

"Look at me." He says softly, his hand on her shoulder. She doesn't move, just sobs silently again and shuts her eyes even tighter with a wish that it would all just go away. "Blair. Look at me."

He prises a hand off each ear and kisses them ever-so-gently, just enough to make her breath hitch in her throat and shivers run up her back. She turns slowly, wincing a little in pain as Chuck smoothes stray strands of hair away from her face, her eyes shutting against more salty tears as he kisses her forehead.

And yet despite the tears and the smudged mascara, the messy hair and the standard hospital gown, to him, she's never looked more beautiful.

He wants everything for Blair, everything for their little girl, yet he knows it can't happen.

"Do you love her?"

Blair just shakes her head. "Don't do this Chuck."

"Do you love her?" He asks again, a little louder this time.

So don't you cry tonight

Rest your precious eyes

She nods, as yet more tears fall from her eyes, and Chuck leaves the bed. She follows him with her eyes, because she's not sure what he'll do any more, and it scares her more than when she knew him.

He scoops Charlotte up so carefully that Blair just wants to cry all over again, his lips making a hushing sound, and neither of them are sure who it's directed at.

"Then you can do this."

She shakes her head no, because she can't.

"We can do this Blair."

She wishes she knew whether he's saying this for her, or because he actually believes it himself. He just wishes she'd love him as much as he loves her. Maybe then, they'd have a chance.

"She's beautiful." He nods, looking back to Blair. "Just like her Mom."

She dips her head, a little embarrassed at the change of dynamic between them.

"Even if she is wearing a hideous hospital gown." He raises an eyebrow. "You know B, white really isn't your colour."

She bares a small smile, because even though nothing can ever be the way it was, he's trying. For her.

"It's Charlotte…for you." She says a little shakily. "Charlotte Amelia…Bass."

He's sure that he looks shocked, because even though he'd known, he hadn't for a second thought about names or the future or anything. The present is all he can handle right now.

"Lottie." He says softly. "And we can do this. Together or not. But we can."

"What would everyone say?" She asks. "My parents don't even know. My Mother thinks I'm having a sleepover for Serena's birthday, and if Serena knew…"

It's nothing they could change

It's nothing you could hide

"We're seventeen for Christ's sakes!" She almost shouts.

"Yeah, and plenty of people do this at seventeen."

"Not very well."

"We can try."

"She's not a freaking doll that we can just give back to the store Chuck!" Blair shouts. "She's our daughter!"

Blair just looks back at him silently then, because she's not sure whether she's even arguing with him, or with herself. All she wants is for him to promise that it'll all be alright.

And she knows that can't ever happen.

"And she's gonna be pretty screwed up with you as a mother." He says, swirling his tongue round in his mouth as he waits for her response.

"Me? How about having Chuck 'I-pay-for-hookers-in-my-hotel-suite-and-got-my-dad-to-buy-a-burlesque-club' Bass as your father!"

"She doesn't stand a chance."

They laugh a little, a shared joke between former friends, because they're not really friends anymore. That went out the window the minute she got up on that stage at Victrola.

"You know if you hadn't got your dad to buy that stupid club we wouldn't be in this mess right?"

"What? I recall you wanting to show me your 'moves'" He air quotes.

"Please." Blair roles her eyes. "You were practically begging to see me get that dress off."

"Well you did. And I seem to remember a few more dresses coming off at different periods in time."

And then the banter stops, because she looks down at Lottie, and this is her reality again. "And look what we made."

Chuck sighs. "I know."

"Do you…" Blair trails off as he looks at her intently. "Still…love me?"

"Head's a bit far up your own ass even for you there Waldorf." He replies sarcastically. "I never said I loved you."

Blair simply shoots him a knowing glare, and he rolls his eyes, conceding. "Fine, whatever, I did."

"Then do you still?"

He swallows the lump in his dry throat. "Yes I still love you. But it doesn't have to mean…"

She kisses him then, soft, tender and then harder, more desperate as she realises what they're about to do. He strokes behind her ear with his free hand, kissing her again and again until they both have to stop for more breath.

It's nothing you should hide.