as usual he picked me up at ten sunday morning in his blue pick up. we sat in silence as he drove to the same coffee shop we'd been going to since as far back as i can remember. the silence wasn't awkward it was...regular, typical, usual, familiar, i could go on. we never talked until we got to the shop. he was still suffering from the hangover that was a result from the party the night before. this week the party had been at the Evans' mansion, and i was already hearing things about it. i don't believe them though. i never do unless i hear it from troy himself. finally we arrive at the coffee shop and make our way to our favorite booth which was ironically located in the back. i ordered my usual cappuccino, and he got his coffee black. like usual i ask how his night was, but not letting myself meet his eye. he confirmed most of the wild stories, but not all and the ones he didn't confirm i had an idea that those were started by sharpay . after all, she did have a habit of blowing everything out of proportion. however he confirmed the one i wish he hadn't. he had hooked up with the new head cheerleader, courtney the gorgeous brunette from new york city.

if there is one thing i noticed over the years was that he always hooked up or dated brunettes, never blonds or red heads. at first it gave me hope, but over time i came to terms that it doesn't matter that i'm brunette to. why? because i'm never at these parties where he finds these girls. one i'm never invited, and two i'm too much of a goodie goodie to actually attend if i was invited. i ask if she was good enough to be his next girlfriend. he shrugs and sips his coffee before replying "it doesn't matter. i'll never fall in love." then he runs his hand through his hair as he sits back against the seat. i let out a small laugh and shake my head at him causing a stray hair to fall into my face. secretly i wish he'd lean across and brush the hair out of my face lightly grazing my cheek, but i know i'm just getting my hopes up again. looking at my drink so not to show him the hope in my eyes as i reach up and tuck the strand behind my ear. troy surprises me when he speaks up "i like your hair better down." i try not to look astonished that he's actually paid attention to my appearance. "i'll have to remember that," i reply as casually as possible. i doubt he'd notice even if i stuttered anyway.

we continued our casual conversations about the party before we moved on to school work. i'm really proud of troy because he has been working really hard to keep his grades up to par. i think it frustrates him when i get a better grade after he spent all night studying and i just glance over the material. i've tried to hide my grades but i think it frustrates him even more. of course that conversation didn't last long because who wants to talk about homework on the last day of the weekend? not us. i became shy again when he asked about my mom and i had to tell him she was gone again on a business trip. i wasn't surprised or taken off guard when i felt him take my hand in his. he was the only person who knew how i felt about my mother's business trips. something i was sure that he had no idea that by him being there for me during times like this was making me fall for him more. he tries to make me feel better by joking on something that sharpay did last night. i forced a smile because i don't want him to worry about me. i figure i pulled it off because he smiled back. then the song changed in the background, and his smile got bigger. "i love this song," he exclaimed, and i couldn't help but think i know. to my surprise, and joy, he hadn't let go of my hand.

he looks around the room taking in the other people in the room. as i sip on my drink i let my mind wonder away. it has always bothered me that he never sees what he does to me. everyone else seems to have noticed because they are always asking me if i'm going to tell troy how i feel. i always act like i have no idea what they're talking about. i think they finally believe me. too bad it's a lie. still i wonder why he hasn't noticed how different i act around him than how i act around my other guy friends. when it comes to him i use my "geekiness" to notice and take in every little, minute detail. i know troy better than anyone else out there. sometimes i think that i know him better than he knows himself. his hair is a shade away from being jet black. his eyes are more clear blue than the ocean. he always has to be doing something with his hands. he sees everything in black and white, never gray. he will not and has never let anyone see him cry, not even me. there is one trait we share. we both would rather hide our emotions to make things easier. my problem is i've found the one person who can make me feel. troy does that every time he's around. over the years though, i've perfected hiding my feelings about him from everyone. now, in our senior year on one has a clue that day after day i wish troy was mine. the one thing i take comfort in is that he may not be mine but he isn't anyone else's either.

eventually we finished our coffee, and continued on with our typical sunday. on our way back to my house we stopped by the grocery store and picked up snacks and a frozen pizza for lunch/dinner. then we went to the movie store next door and picked out a couple movies. he got two scary ones and i got a comedy and a chick flick. we continued back to my house. the whole way back i kept glancing at him wondering what he's thinking and if he knows i'm thinking about him. when we got to my house, we unloaded everything. i began to fix the food i noticed troy wonder into the living room, then i heard his voice "did you write a new song?" i remembered i had left the guitar and my music out from last night. "yeah..." i said walking into the living room to find troy putting on the guitar and looking at the music. "sing it for me," he asked with hope in his eyes. i nodded and sat down before he started playing the music on the page. god he played so beautifully.

"i don't think that the passenger seat

has ever looked this good to me

he tells me about his night
and i count the colors in his eyes

he'll never fall in love he swears

as he runs his fingers through his hair

i'm laughing cause i hope he's wrong

i don't think it ever crossed his mind

he tells a joke i fake a smile

that i know all his favorite songs

and i could tell you his favorite colors green

he loves to argue born on the seventeenth

his sister's beautiful he has his father's eyes

and if you ask me if i love him

i'd lie

he looks around the room

innocently overlooks the truth

shouldn't a light go on?

doesn't he know i've had him memorized for so long?

he sees everything in black and white

never let nobody see him cry

i don't let nobody see me wishin' he was mine

and i could tell you his favorite colors green

he loves to argue born on the seventeenth

his sister's beautiful he has his father's eyes

and if you ask me if i love him

i'd lie

he stands there, then walks away
my god, if i could only say
i'm holding every breath for you
he'd never tell you but he can play guitar
i think he can see through everything but my heart
first thought when i wake up is my god, he's beautiful
so i put on my makeup
and pray for a miracle

yes, i could tell you his favorite color's green
he loves to argue oh and it kills me
his sister's beautiful he has his father's eyes
and if you ask me if i love him...
if you ask me if i love him...
i'd lie." sometime during the song i had closed my eyes. as i opened them my eyes connected with his ocean blue ones. "this is your best song yet." i smiled and blushed before replying "you always say that." "but this one is my favorite," he said.

as par tradition we started with one of troy's scary movies. after i effectively got popcorn every where from jumping when the first really scary part passed, i spent the rest of the movie hiding in troy's chest while he just laughed at me. of course this happened every time he would laugh at me. when the credits finally came on i couldn't get up to eject the movie quick enough which made troy chuckle at me again. next, i stuck in my chick flick before going back to sit by troy with the clicker. no it is not a remote; it's a clicker. i was watching the screen when i felt troy looking at me. turning, once again my gaze was caught by those blue eyes that made me want to melt. "gabi can i ask you a question?" for some reason his tone made my breath catch in my throat; all i could do was nod. "do you love me?" i was frozen. after that song i sang i don't know how to answer. so i answered the only way i could, "no." troy's face broke out into that one million dollar smile before he put his hand on my cheek gently stroking it with this thumb. when he leaned forward i felt myself doing the same before my eyes gently closed. then i felt his soft lips caressing mine, and i saw the fireworks. i'm glad i lied.