A/N: I got a bunch of emails the other day from FanFiction from author alerts, story alerts and comments! I was confused at first, and then I remembered "OH NOES, I GOTTA STORY ON FANFICTION O:) Well, I'm caught up in school, MapleStory and relationship problems right now, but I decided to add another chapter for the first time in – what? More than 6 months? I'm not a fan of Twilight anymore, though. I hated Breaking Dawn, the Twilight movie and how overrated it's become. Long story and I won't rant, but here's a short chapter 'cause, you know, I'm not dead yet...
Starting fresh, not continuing from the last chapter just because… Eye dee kay. [:
There are spoilers.
And my sense of humor has changed. It's kind of more vulgar I think. That's what people have told me.
*
-at the Cullen house… as usual-
Bella: Edwarrrrrd you look so sexy in a bunny costume!
Edward: (in a giant Easter bunny costume you see at the mall, not PlayGirl/Boy ;3) Moohoohaha, I do, don't I?
Alice: Nuu, Edward, don't be modest.. Bella, go get Jacob out of my closet upstairs...
(Jacob doesn't reply)
Bella: He's probably a wolf or something—
Edward: Jacob, now is not the time to be expressing your anal glands… God, oh… God, please! STOP, DAMIT!
Alice: In my closet? NUU D:
Bella: He can go wolf in a closet? Isn't he kind of too big?
Edward: It's Alice's closet.
Bella: Right.
(Alice moaning and whining in the background)
Bella: Where's—
Renesme: (runs through the door) I'M GOING EMO!
Edward: I saw that coming. (smmmirk)
Renesme: Freak.
Bella: Aw, honey, what's wrong?
Renesme: MY NAME! WHY THE HELL DID YOU NAME ME 'RENEZZMAY?' Why couldn't I be Carly, like Charlie and Carlisle?! Renee and Esme Do. Not. Mix!
Bella: So… why are you going Emo again?
Renesme: I HATE THE WORLD! I'M GOING TO GO LISTEN TO DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL—
Alice: They aren't Emo…
Edward: Stop with the caps, please.
Renesme: NO! I WON'T! AND THEY ARE EMO, THAT'S WHAT THE EMO KIDS AT MY SCHOOL LISTEN TO! RAWWWWR!
Bella: Edward I'm scared.
Edward: Hmm… I see… Let's go have sex all day in the shed in the backyard then!
Bella: Ohkies!
Edward: Slut.
Bella: *slllap!*
(Edward and Bella run away)
Renesme: _________________ (scarred) DOUBLE-U TEE EFF!
Alice: Nessie, come on, everything will be okay, I would know.
Renesme: -sniff- NO! I'M JUST GOING TO GO SQUEEZE INTO SOME SKINNY JEANS AND CRY!
Alice: Don't go upstairs.
Renesme: WHY SHOULDN'T I?
(Jacob walks downstairs)
Jacob: Ahh, that was refreshing!
Renesme: You… YOU!
Jacob: Heyy sweetie~
Renesme: I KNOW THE TRUTH ABOUT YOU TOO!
Jacob: Ness, it's natural, I swear!
Renesme: No, it's not!
Jacob: Renesme, it's kind of like masturbation for dogs, you've gotta believe me, babe!
Renesme: What are you talking about—
Jacob: And about Emmet, I mean, come on! Don't tell me you have never felt attracted to the same sex either!
Alice: Wow, this is so awkward.
Renesme: --Jacob… what are you talking about?
Jacob: What are you talking about?
Renesme: YOU RAPED MY MOTHER!
Jacob: Oh. That. Yeah…
Renesme: THAT ISN'T NATURAL!
Jacob: Uh, I can explain… And by the way, I was kidding about all of the, uhm, gay stuff to… Ahaha… ha…. Ha… Gee, Nessie, I didn't know you could growl like that…. You look angry… Oh God…